Every so often, I have bizarre and/or disturbing dreams. Sometimes I can figure out the genesis of these dreams—I'm particularly anxious about one thing or another, or I've just seen or read something that apparently stuck in my mind.
Some are fresh out of Dream Interpretation 101—I'm wandering all over the place in my underwear, I'm late to something tremendously important, etc. (I also tend to have dreams that people I know are serial killers after I've seen one too many episodes of CSI or Dexter.)
The other night, however, I had one of the most vivid and strange dreams I ever had, and while it wasn't frightening, it truly shook me up. At this point, I can't even describe it adequately, but let's just say the dream featured me as a child and an adult, as well as various original cast members from Sesame Street, and people I knew as a camper and counselor from my years at Timber Lake Camp.
During the dream it appeared that the woman who originated the role of Susan on Sesame Street (Loretta Long) was my mother. (Can't quite figure that one out.) There also was a great deal of somewhat-psychedelic stuff that occurred while I was "at camp."
The dream ended with me being handed a postcard, which read "I'm happy where I am." I'm not sure what this meant exactly, but it left me very emotional, and I woke up crying. You see, my mother died when I was two years old, and I have no memories of her, just a few photos. So given that a figure representing my mother was in this dream, I can't help but wonder if that postcard was her message to me that she's happy because she's had the chance to watch me and her loved ones all these years.
Of course, another hypothesis I've been playing with is that the postcard was a sign for me, that although I've been struggling with things lately, perhaps I really am happy where I am.
No resolution, of course. But it's definitely one of those dreams I wish I could have again, if only to try and figure out what it all meant.
Like that's possible.
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