Book Review: "This Used To Be Us" by Renee Carlino

After reading this book, I was completely undone. I literally sat on my couch for a few minutes and had to collect myself emotionally. It’s not just that the book was sad in parts, but it was just so beautifully written.

Alex and Dani have been married for 22 years. There once was a time where they were madly in love with one another and couldn’t wait to be together; now, neither can stand the other. Dani thinks Alex is cold and unfeeling, and leaves her to do most of the parenting of their two sons; Alex thinks Dani is a drama queen who likes pointing out all of his faults.

They decide to get divorced, and they rent a nesting apartment where one can stay when the other is at their house with the boys. Of course, Alex realizes how much work it is to raise two children, deal with school, activities, laundry, etc. Dani misses having someone to share things with, and remembers how Alex used to be that person.

As they both start eking out their lives post-divorce, they each individually reflect on their relationship and where they both went wrong. They try to figure out whether to start dating again, and Dani works to resurrect her career as a television writer. Little by little, they come to realize what their love transformed them into, and how much they miss what they had.

“You think love equals happiness?” “No. I think the act of loving does, the skill, the ability in it—practicing and refining it…you know?”

Renee Carlino is an amazing, evocative writer. This is beautiful, emotional, sad, funny, and totally realistic. Love—and marriage—aren’t perfect, and neither are the people in a marriage. I absolutely loved this book.