“Did I always endure unreciprocated love because I could only love (and write about it) when I was rejected? Did my low self-esteem seek out rejection, as in I wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would accept me? Or does everyone hope to trade up to a newer, better lover? Not social climbers but amorous climbers?”
This memoir isn’t your typical chronicling of White’s literary career or anything like that. In this book, White looks back on more than 60 years of sexual encounters. He touches on everything from his childish escapades while growing up and taking his curiosity a few steps further as a teenager, to sex he paid for (and, in some cases, was paid for), as well as the risks he and many other men took, given the illegality of homosexual activity both in the U.S. and abroad.
White doesn’t mince words when describing some encounters and the men he was with. Some of his memories may be shocking, some were tame, and some were tremendously poignant, given how AIDS decimated the gay community in the 1980s and 1990s. And while the sheer number of encounters may seem unbelievable, for many men during that time, having the opportunity to be free from hiding their true selves often led to unbridled activity.
True to the title of the book, White touches on his romantic relationships as well. He shares both good memories and bad, and there are clearly some men he was fonder of than others.
I’m definitely not a prude, but after a while I felt like some of White’s recollections became excessive. However, I love how he captured the changes in society and sexual freedom through the decades, and how he views sex now that he’s in his 80s.
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