Book Review: "Loved and Missed" by Susie Boyt

“There is so much in life that doesn’t matter, so many things that hold you back, hem you in and throw you off the scent of what’s important.”

This was an incredibly poignant read. Susie Boyt has written seven novels, but this was the first one published in the U.S. It’s an emotional story of mothers and daughters, the delicate push and pull between wanting your child to know that they are loved and yet wanting them to stand on their own.

Ruth’s own childhood was a difficult one. Her father deserted her mother, who never got over that loss. When Ruth had her own daughter, Eleanor, she tried to give her everything she could. But of course, that’s not what Eleanor wants.

When Eleanor reaches adulthood, she becomes a drug addict. It’s certainly not what Ruth wanted for her daughter, but she is tremendously careful not to appear judgmental or critical. And when Eleanor gets pregnant and gives birth to her own daughter, Lily, it’s clear—to Ruth and to Eleanor—that Lily would be better off if she’s raised by her grandmother.

The relationship between Lily and Ruth is a beautiful one, but Ruth must walk a fine line so she doesn’t ever appear critical of her daughter. Of course, in situations like this, you wonder how this type of upbringing affects the child, but as Lily grows you see the kind of woman she will become.

I knew nothing about this book before I stumbled onto it. It really moved me and made me think about the nature vs. nurture concept, and how we never know the impact adults have on the children in their lives. This is such a beautiful read.