I pledge allegiance to Anna Kendrick...

Ok, it's true confession time: I have a bit of an obsession with Anna Kendrick.

While I remember hearing about this theatrical wunderkind in the late 1990s, when she received a Best Featured Actress in a Musical Tony nomination for her performance in High Society (she was only 12), she first landed on my radar with her hysterical performance as controlling, conniving, spotlight-hungry Fritzi in the underrated, little-seen, but fantastic movie, Camp (2003). (Not to be confused in any way with the disastrous television show of the same name starring Rachel Griffiths.)

In this scene, Fritzi, tired of being the lackey, sabotages a friend's performance of Ladies Who Lunch so she could take over. Completely on point.

Of course, her acting in recent years has been stellar, from her Oscar-nominated performance in Up in the Air to her strong work in 50/50 (loved that movie) and End of Watch, and of course, the fantastic Pitch Perfect. Leave any top 40 radio station on for about 30 minutes and you'll hear a version of Cups, and you won't be able to get it out of your head.

Here's the scene from Pitch Perfect:

Even her recent stint as a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance made me crush on her just a little bit more. A self-proclaimed "geek" for the show, she gave some of the most cogent and affirming feedback of nearly any non-dancer on the show, in direct contrast with Carly Rae Jepsen, who guest judged the prior week. For example, of dancer Makenzie, she said:

"Makenzie, you were so powerful in this. In some of the other dances, you've been given the 'beautiful' character—and you're SO pretty. But in this, the power wasn't coming from your beauty. It was coming from your ability."

And trolling YouTube for Anna Kendrick clips helped me stumble on this gem—a version of For Good from the musical Wicked, which she performed with Kristin Chenoweth for The Trevor Project's live concert in May. She may not have Idina Menzel's range, but she does pretty darned good, I'd say.

Can't wait to see what's next on the horizon for her, and I just hope she becomes even more of a star. Anyone else on the Anna Kendrick bandwagon?

SYTYCD Recap: It's your finahle, Ameriker!

The shriek of shock you heard around 9:58 p.m. ET last night came from our house, as an absolutely stunning Cat Deeley announced the (immensely surprising) winner of America's Favorite Male Dancer. For those of you who wonder whether someone as cynical as I am ever gets surprised, the answer is a resounding, "Hellz yeah!"

But before we dwell on how Season 9 ended with a bang, not my whimper, as well as Witney's proclaiming from the audience that she was going to faint, let's look back at last night's episode.

First of all, how amazing a host is Cat Deeley? Warm, funny, self-deprecating, nurturing of the nervous contestants (see how it's done, Seacrest?), and freakin' hot as hell, I really hope she wins the Emmy this weekend for Best Reality Show Host. (And when she gets her outfit, hair, and makeup right, as she did with her silver sheath dress that made Adam Shankman do his overdone eyes-popping-out-of-his-head gesture, she gets it really right.)

After a look back at the announcement of the winners from previous seasons (and the amazing dancers who finished in second place), we got to see the Top 20 doing their mini-solos! In couples! It's the soulless Alexa and Daniel! Amber and Nick ("Bubblegum and Oil") had to interact again (and Amber even acted reasonably interested)! It's Brandon and Janaya (wait, who?)!

And then my favorites started returning—Amelia and Will (yummily adorable), Matthew (overdressed) and Audrey, Dareian (of the Fred Flintstone feet) and Janelle, Cole (break, heart) and Lindsay, Witney and George, and then your top four dancers, Ameriker! (Cyrus got to go last. Again.)

The judges panel was overstuffed, and not just with egos, as the glorious Debbie Allen (child), the verbose-but-sensitive Lil C, the hammily overemotional Adam Shankman, and a smarmy Keith-Tyce (wearing what appeared to be a bow tie and a Members' Only jacket) joined Nigel and Mary for the evening.

Nigel touted a group routine with the top 20 as "the best routine to open the show we've ever seen." That description was like the hyperbole some networks use to hype television programs—"the best new comedy on Tuesdays at 8" or "the best new drama series not created by Shonda Rimes." But Nigel mentioned the routine also was choreographed in tandem by an increasingly adorable Christopher Scott and the well-dressed admin assistant who apparently has taken over Sonya Tayeh's body. (Seriously. What's with the pageboy wig and the St. Johns knit suit, Sonya? At least she kept the lip ring.)

The routine, to Nathan Lanier's Torn, was really cool. It looked like everyone was dancing in the midst of a wind tunnel, and there were lots of great acrobatics and lifts and Cyrus mostly crawled around the stage. And it was great to see Alexa front and center again. (He said, somewhat sarcastically.)

And with the group number over, that was the last we saw of most of the top 20 for the remainder of the evening, which was unfortunate. But each of the judges got to pick their favorite routine of the evening, most of which weren't particularly surprising.

Nigel picked Matthew and Audrey's contemporary dance to Unchained Melody, choreographed by Travis and inspired by the movie Titanic. It really was a fantastic routine, Audrey's leap from the chaise lounge still amazed me even as I expected it this time, and Matthew was still too dressed.

Lil C picked (inexplicably to me) Witney and tWitch's hiphop routine to My Homies Still, choreographed by Luther Brown. (You remember, the one that turned Jesse Tyler Ferguson into a sassy guest judge, and had Cat trying her "waiting for the bus" move?) Still think Witney was more sexy than street in this routine.

Debbie talked about Sonya's genius and then picked the routine she choreographed to Turning Page for Tiffany and George. I thought Sonya had better routines this season but George really is an absolutely gorgeous dancer. But he finished in the top 8 and Cyrus is in the final. Go figure.

Adam blathered on for a while about the beauty of dance, look at me, yadda yadda yadda, and then picked Cole and Lindsay's amazing paso doble, choreographed by "Jason Gilkinson" (nice, Shankman) to Unstoppable. That, Mary Murphy, is nailing the paso doble. And yet Cole, too, didn't make the final. Growl.

Keith-Tyce still seemed smarmy to me as he picked the awesome Nappy/Tabs hiphop routine featuring Will and Amelia dancing to The Lovecats. (So did Tabitha have her baby like a week ago, and she already looks fantastic? Gotta start hiphop dancing.) I loved this routine, although it wasn't as sharp this time.

If you figured one of the judges was required towas going to pick Keith-Tyce's (pretty awesome) routine for Chehon and Kathryn, set to Eli, Eli (A Walk to Caesarea), you're right. Mary picked it as her favorite and explained it was "inspired by the Hollycaust." Such emotional power packed into that routine, more so than many of Keith-Tyce's other "very special" routines.

Because we still had a lot of time to kill, and we apparently had no desire to see any of the contestants who finished out of the top 10 (except Amelia), each of the four finalists also got to choose their favorite dance. Eliana chose her pairing with Alex Freaking Wong to Stacey Tookey's routine to Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down). Ah. May. Zing. After the routine, Nigel told Eliana that after Vegas week, she was at the top of everyone's list of who should make the top 20, and apparently Desmond Richardson told Nigel that as soon as Eliana got voted off the show he was going to hire her. Sorry, Des. (As a cynical aside, Eliana has the hands-over-her-mouth shocked pose down pat by now.)

Cat got to pick her own favorite routine of the evening: Tiffany and Brandon's death-defying Doriana Sanchez disco routine (11 lifts!) to You Make Me Feel. Honestly one of the best of the season.

Chehon picked his Argentine tango with Anya, choreographed by Leonardo and Miriam to Breathing Below Surface, as his favorite dance. I had forgotten how impressive some of the footwork was, and forgot the lifts they did in the routine. And I was disappointed that Chehon's parents couldn't make it to the finale, but I guess it was expensive to come from Switzerland for at least a few weeks.

After a montage of the numerous hiphop routines performed this season (and not all of them by Cyrus, remarkably), Cyrus, tWitch, Comfort, and Christopher Scott teamed up for an awesome routine to Messinian's Holy Ghost, which Christopher also choreographed. It was so great to see Christopher dance alongside of (and hold his own with) some great hiphop artists. The routine started out with the four playing poker (in traditional card shark-type outfits) and really was terrific.

Tiffany chose to reprise her Mandy Moore-choreographed routine with Ade to Power of Love. She has so much power and finesse in her dancing, and I agree with Nigel's frequent comment that for someone so small, she dances with a much larger presence. The lifts were even stronger this time. Tiffany was really emotional during the show, and this is where Cat proved what a nurturer she is, giving her a tight hug. (I thought Tiffany's face looked strange all night, and it looks like she had a monstrous bump on her head. Hope it didn't happen during rehearsals of the disco number!)

Cyrus' roommates in Dragon House performed a routine to Cryosleep by Cyberoptics, which featured one of Cyrus' other roommates, Bryan Gaynor, who auditioned for Season 7. I was surprised Cyrus didn't show up in the routine. It was actually great.

After a performance from Carly Rae Jepsen (sadly, it didn't feature the cute guy from her Call Me Maybe video), to the surprise of no one, Cyrus picked to reprise his routine with tWitch from last week, to Like a Criminal. While Nigel acknowledged that he got a lot of flak from his comments last week about not voting for Cyrus, he never apologized for them. He told Cyrus he should be the face of some product, and toldhim he "stole the season" with his inspiring performances and energy.

I agree, Nigel, but not in the positive way you meant. Luckily the end result didn't utterly torpedo the show.

The top 10 and the all-stars teamed up for a Nappy/Tabs routine to Circle of Life (the District 78 remix) from The Lion King. It was pretty awesome, lots of fierce jungle drums, acrobatics, hiphop moves (Witney proved she's not all pouty sexy hair shaking when she dances hiphop) and an amazing leap over three dancers by someone I couldn't identify. Awe. Some.

Then it was time for Ameriker's results. Eliana got to do her whole hands-over-her-mouth thing again as she was named America's Favorite Female Dancer. Well-deserved, although I would have been happy with a Tiffany victory as well.

And then the shocker. Cat revealed that Chehon was chosen America's Favorite Male Dancer. He was stunned. Witney was going to faint. Alex Freaking Wong rushed the stage to congratulate Chehon and Eliana first. And Will hugged Cat and lifted her off the ground. (He does love cats, you know...)

I'm so glad that the better dancers won out in the end. As we've seen from the all-stars, the best dancers don't necessarily win, but they're successful anyway, and I'd imagine Tiffany and Cyrus will both be successful in their own right. And Eliana and Chehon get arguably the worst prize package for reality show winners ever—the winners of Star Search back in Ed McMahon's days also received $100,000 each. But that was in like 1983!!

Thanks for accompanying me on this journey of dance. I'll feel a little empty for a while without a show to recap but I don't know that I want to sacrifice my soul to another reality show (although I admit I'm toying with watching the all-star version of Dancing with the Stars despite Bristol Palin).

Go Cat! Win an Emmy! Lord have Murphy...

SYTYCD Recap: Holy reverse manipulation, Batman!

Last night was the penultimate (love that word) episode of SYTYCD's ninth season, which was part hiphop extravaganza, part premature crowning of this year's winners.

Or was it? Was Uncle Nigel's last minute change of heart in which he told the oft-pimped Cyrus he wasn't voting for him (wait, Nigel's allowed to vote?) recognition that he and the other judges gave Cyrus a free pass the entire season at the expense of more talented dancers, or was it a tricky sleight of hand, in which he tried to acknowledge critics who have questioned the show's treatment of Cyrus, but actually rallied Cyrus' ridiculously rabid fans to get out the vote? (Knowing the depths to which this man is capable, I'd go with the latter.)

Whatever the motivation, it was an odd capper to a show so jam-packed with performances—some stellar, some good, some bad (Keith-Tyce's group number, cough cough)—that even I was out of breath after the two hours were up. But luckily we had giggly, excited Cat to prop us up, bedecked in a marvelous red frock and super-red lips. (Seriously, this woman is hot. Why can't she take over the universe instead of Ryan Seacrest?)

Academy Award-nominated director and choreographer Rob Marshall returned to the judges' panel, no doubt happy he wouldn't have to share air time with Lady GaGa and her monstrous projectile boots this year.

The show opened with Eliana and Cyrus' paso doble, choreographed by Jason Gilkison to Daft Punk's The Game Has Changed. Jason changed up the traditional paso by having Eliana be the matador and Cyrus be the cape. (Or, in other words, having Eliana do the dancing and Cyrus just gets to fling himself around.) Sadly, I found it one of Jason's weaker routines on the show. While I thought Eliana was magnificent and she threw herself into the routine amazingly, flapping dress and all, Cyrus' footwork wasn't particularly sharp and he just didn't do much. (And that sums up many of his performances the entire season.)

Nigel praised Eliana's magical combination of performance and technique, and teased Cyrus' outfit ("Did you ever think you'd be on national television wearing a big black dress?"), but cautioned him about lowering his shoulders and straightening his legs. Mary doesn't care about technique where Cyrus is concerned, saying that Cyrus might have thought that "conquering the paso doble was as difficult as skinny dippin' with snappin' turtles" (suddenly she's Southern?), but he nailed it. (Umm, Mary? This is nailing the paso doble. Or this. Cyrus did not nail it, even if he had a hammer. Or a nail gun.) Rob praised Eliana's ability to throw technique away (in a good way) and tell the story. Oh, and Cyrus has exciting passion.

A weepily grateful Tiffany joined Season 4's Will for a Sonya-choreographed contemporary routine that showed how far Tiffany has come this season. Danced to The Time Has Come by Moloko, Tiffany threw herself into the routine with passion and reckless abandon, and there was a lot of spectacular partnering with Will, although he struggled a bit with one of the lifts. It was a combination of soaring and vintage Sonya choreography.

Mary called Tiffany a fabulous dancer and said she was a star. Rob praised her extension and her fearlessness, and said that the song The Time Has Come was particularly appropriate for a show airing on 9/11. Nigel told Tiffany that she may be short in stature but he didn't notice, because her extension and presence make her seem so big, and she's a fabulous dancer.

Just moments after I was complaining that while Cyrus got to dance hiphop countless times during the season but Chehon didn't get to dance ballet, Chehon and Eliana paired up for a ballet routine choreographed by former Kirov principal dancer Marat Daukayev to the pas de deux from the Nutcracker Suite. Well, I say teamed up, although it was certainly much more Eliana's performance, because the routine (and the original dance) had only one real move for Chehon. But his partnering was absolutely magnificent, his lifts were incredible, and don't get me started on the way his legs looked in ballet tights. Holy muscles. (C'mon, I'm a gay guy recapping a dance show. What else am I looking at? Don't hate.)

The judges gave the routine a standing ovation. Rob praised Eliana's versatility and her breathtaking extension, and told Chehon that people don't realize how difficult the male role in ballet really is. Nigel said he never dreamed he'd see two ballet dancers in the finale, and praised Eliana's performance, particularly her quad into an arabesque. He also mentioned what wonderful support Chehon provided in the routine. And Mary got emotional for reasons I didn't understand. (Again, for a woman supposedly so committed to dance and technique, she's really thrown it all away in her praise of Cyrus this season.)

Cyrus and Tiffany took on a Tessandra Chavez-choreographed lyrical hiphop routine. (Wow, another hiphop routine for Cyrus. Yeah, that's fair.) The routine was about a young couple in love, but Cyrus broke Tiffany's heart and although she's moved on, he feels bad about it. Dancing to Best Thing I Never Had by Beyonce, I thought it was enjoyable, but Tiffany really outdanced her partner. Even in hiphop. (Shocking, I know.) She really threw everything into her performances.

Nigel reminded us again (it may be like the 17th time) that neither Cyrus nor Tiffany has been in the bottom two, and that both are so good at emotional routines. Then both he and Mary went into this whole song and dance about how Cyrus is so amazing because he can memorize so much choreography when he's never had to before. (This is what judging Cyrus has devolved into, praising him for what every other contestant has to do on the show.) Rob praised that both had abandon, and called the routine his favorite of the night so far. (Wasn't hard to pick a favorite yet.)

The four contestants joined forces for an absolutely ludicrous Keith-Tyce group number to Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. It may have been one of the worst things he's ever choreographed, and there have been some doozies. It felt utterly amateurish, with the contestants each playing around in their respective styles (so Cyrus got to do animation again). What was interesting is the routine had Chehon dressed in a tuxedo jacket with tails and Cyrus dressed in a tuxedo tshirt with running pants on. If that's not an apt comparison between the two, I don't know what is.

Eliana shared thoughts and tears on her journey to the finale, and then danced a solo to Johann Johannson's Passacaglia, which suffered in comparison to her earlier ballet routine.

Chehon paired with Season 2's Allison for a Stacey Tookey contemporary number to Leave from the musical Once. The routine was about a couple faced with Allison's getting an opportunity to leave and pursue her dreams, and Chehon is willing to let her. It was emotional, beautiful, powerful, and sensationally danced. Chehon did an amazing one-handed lift at one point, and in another Allison grabbed hold of his leg and he simply kicked her away. I didn't watch the show in Season 2, but was Allison this good, or has she grown into this talent? Stacey Tookey is becoming my favorite choreographer, and I love how excited she gets about the dancers and their performances.

The judges gave the routine a well-deserved standing ovation. Mary mentioned that Stacey was a three-time "nommy-Eminated" choreographer (Emmy-nominated, for those not well-versed in Mary-speak) and that this was her year. She praised Chehon's performance as free, elastic, and loose. Nigel continued his praise of Allison over her partners, but then told Chehon that he came alive in the routine, and that while in the past he has had some difficulty showing emotion, he was fantastic in this performance. Agreed.

The girls teamed up for a Broadway number choreographed by Ray Leeper (why do I think peeping tom every time I hear his name?) to When You're Good to Mama from Chicago. (Sucking up to Rob a little bit, Ray?) The burlesque-like number featured a pole (but nary a mention of Eliana's pole dancing performances prior to being on the show) and it was a tremendously athletic, fun, sexy routine. But I definitely feel it was steered to favor Eliana, because she was given an incredible opportunity to rotate atop the pole.

The judges gave the routine a standing ovation. Rob joked he was trying to imagine Queen Latifah doing that routine. Mary called it extraordinary, fun, and sassy, and a panting Nigel (gross) made some comment about a pole dancer and Randy Jackson and I threw up in my mouth a little.

In his third hiphop performance of the evening, Cyrus did his solo to Messinian's Holy Ghost. As I've said before, he's amazing to watch, but after a while, these performances start to blend into one for me. Mary and Rob gave his solo a standing ovation.

Tiffany talked about her journey to the finale, and that she didn't get much screen time during the auditions or Vegas shows, and she even blended in on her first few performance shows, so she hopes people realize what a fighter she is. So sweet. I loved her solo to Fantasia's I Believe. So passionate and heartfelt.

The guys paired up with Sonya for a routine designed to commemorate their struggle to get to the finale. Dancing to Fangs by Little Red Lung (the District 78 remix), the routine threw in elements of each dancer's individual style with a lot of lifts and tumbles. Side by side, Chehon clearly outdanced Cyrus, although Cyrus' footwork has improved.

Nigel mentioned that Cyrus has improved as a dancer, he's an inspiration, makes the birds sing and the flowers bloom, blah blah blah, and then called Cyrus his favorite person on the show. He praised Chehon's growth as a person, because he didn't have to grow as a dancer since he's so fantastic, and he called Chehon his favorite male dancer. (My eyebrows raised.) Nigel also threw in a random reference to Jennifer Beals (who was sitting in the audience) and how she inspired a generation of dancers. (Wait, didn't she get sued by someone claiming to be her dancing double? Or was that the person who sued Paula Abdul, claiming she sang and Paula lip-synced?) Mary blathered on about the dancers' journeys and Rob said how the routine was all about camaraderie and lifting each other up, which is what dancers do. (Except in every movie about dance ever made.)

The dancers got a much-deserved short break when French b-boy Jean Sok, who has only one leg, gave an absolutely fantastic performance to Expression by Helen Jane Long. I'm guessing we're only a season away from a dancer with a disability appearing on the show, considering we've seen two performances in a row from dancers with disabilities. (Sorry if that comes across as more cynical than it's meant to be. I'm just not naive enough to believe anything is done on reality shows like this without some calculation.)

Chehon's solo to DeVotchKa's How It Ends (also known as the song from Kent and Neil's fantastic performance from Season 7) was amazing. I didn't like him as much early on as I do now, although I've always marveled at his dancing.

Eliana had a second chance to pair with Alex Freaking Wong (after their amazing routine a few weeks ago), this time to a Travis Wall-choreographed routine to Harry Nilsson's Without You. (I must say, I love that he chose the original version of this song and not Mariah Carey's bombastic version.) The two dancers are terrific together, and imbued this performance with a tremendous amount of passion, athleticism, and beauty.

Rob called the performance "poetry," and said there's nothing Eliana can't do. Nigel told Eliana not only was she his favorite girl dancer of the season, but she is his favorite dancer of all-time on the show. I think she may be in the top five (although I've only seen four seasons of the show), but I wonder about the best of all-time label. But what do I know?

Tiffany and Chehon paired up for a rumba choreographed by Dmitry Chaplin to a cover of Elvis' Love Me Tender by Adam Levy and Norah Jones. I thought it was sexy, dreamy performance; the stage even had gauzy white curtains to set the scene.

Mary said that while Chehon has had problems with Latin dances this season, the rumba suits him, and she called Tiffany a fabulous little Latin dancer, although she didn't believe the chemistry between the two. (But she believed the chemistry between Tiffany and Cyrus? Me says no.) Rob disagreed, saying the routine was sexy and the pair had beautiful connection without overselling. He called Chehon "smooth and elegant," and said he loved watching the pair's abandon. Nigel said the routine was much sexier than the pole dancing performance.

For the final routine of the evening (surprise), Cyrus and tWitch paired up on the season's first animation routine. (For those of you keeping score, that's three hiphop performances for Cyrus, plus the group routine, in which he also got to perform in his own style.) Christopher Scott choreographed the routine, about genetic specimens who break out of a secret lab, to Like a Criminal by District 78. (Someone must be paying District 78 serious royalties this season.) This was a fun, enjoyable number, but it wasn't nearly as mind-blowing as I expected it would be, and I found myself watching tWitch more than Cyrus.

To the surprise of no one, the judges gave the routine a standing ovation. Mary exclaimed how good it was to see Cyrus on his home turf, and said the pair stole the show. And this is when it got interesting. Nigel praised tWitch for the hard work he put into the routine. He then told Cyrus how amazing he was, how inspirational (yet again; it's like the guy is a walking Chicken Soup for the Animator's Soul or something) and Nigel said "I love your bones." However, Nigel explained he wouldn't be voting for Cyrus, because he respects dance, and feels like Cyrus has so much more to learn. So although he's tremendously proud of Cyrus, he needs to vote for Chehon.

Okay, dismissing the fact that I don't imagine Nigel is actually allowed to vote, WTF? I've seen numerous people commenting on Facebook and various other sites that they felt Nigel's comments were disrespectful of Cyrus, and some even said they'd vote with a vengeance for Cyrus even though they didn't think he deserved it, just to prove Nigel wrong.

Was this Nigel finally owning up to the fact that Cyrus is only in the finale because he's likeable and the judges (and, to some extent, the choreographers) have given him a pass all season, but they've torn other dancers to shreds? Was this an acknowledgment that Cyrus has outlasted Cole, Will, Matthew, George, Dareian (even with bad feet), and heck, even Daniel? Do personality and an inspirational story really trump all of that talent? It's not like every one of those aforementioned contestants were unlikeable robots.

That's when you start to wonder whether Nigel knows the audience and the voters of this show all too well, and figured he'd fire up people to vote for Cyrus, but Nigel could get a pass, because he said publicly he supported Chehon. I mean, if you remember Season 8 of American Idol, the judges all but told Kris Allen "Thank you for coming" during the finale against Adam Lambert, but Kris won. Decisively.

Ugh. Why do reality shows force me to have conspiracy theories? Oh, wait. Because most of them are true.

So here's what I think:

Who should win: Chehon and Eliana Who will win: Are you kidding?

I'd like to believe true dancing will prevail, but c'mon. If true dancing won out, it would have been a much different finahle, at least on the guys' side.

So, until then, those of you in California make sure you order your Arts license plates!!

SYTYCD Recap: Can You Dance the Phone Book?

Next week (on Tuesday night—set your DVR appropriately) is the performance finahle, and the season that started with so much promise and excitement is fairly certain to end with one of the most preordained results since Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina duked it out in the Season 10 finale of American Idol. (Wait, Nigel Lythgoe has his hands in that show, too! Go figure!)

But more on my ranting later, because trust me, I have some ranting to do!!

The show opened with an ultra-cool group routine choreographed by Sonya to Kelis' Scream. This was part ballet, part hiphop, and all awesome. The girls had masks over one eye and wore cool dresses, the guys had one eye painted and there was a lot of leaping and lifting and I just really enjoyed it. Once again, Eliana was the star of the routine. (And don't judge me, but I've finally realized after years of marveling at how quickly the dancers change costumes from the group routines to the mini-solos, that the group routine is filmed earlier. I'm quick like that.)

In the mini-solos, Cole did the robot. Cyrus kind of stood there. You know, like he has most of the season. (But did you feel his energy and his personality?)

Cat's frock was really interesting this week, kind of beige-ish with color block boxes of fall colors in rusts and silver. (I shop at Old Navy, what do you want from me?) She told us that the contestants would be performing "not once, not twice, but three times, like a lady" (a little Commodores humor goes far with me)—once with an all-star, once with another contestant, and a solo.

Christina Applegate was back on the judges' panel again. (I'm hoping they're saving Lil' C and Debbie Allen for next week.) She's a good judge, but I felt this week she was trying far, far too hard to get in good with all of the choreographers and the all-stars, and there was also a little too much "Look at me, I know dance vocabulary" going on. (I know dance words, too, but you don't see me throwing in port de bras and grand jeté everywhere, do you?)

The routines began with Tiffany teaming up with Season 2 winner Benji for a jive routine choreographed by super-hyper Jean-Marc Genereux to Lillix's cover of The Romantics' What I Like about You. (Hey!) Benji played a cool guy in a diner, and Tiffany was supposed to be hot for him. Holy wow. This routine was amazing. Benji is a frigging incredible dancer and this routine was lightning quick and jam-packed full of tricks and leaps and movements, and yet Tiffany was utterly captivating. The pair did cartwheels while interlocked, so little Tiffany was, in essence, lifting Benji, and the whole thing was fantastic. I honestly wouldn't mind seeing more ballroom dance and less contemporary (or Broadway?), especially if it could be like this.

The judges gave their first standing ovation of the night. Nigel talked about how much the pair's energy lifted the audience, called Benji "the best swing dancer ever," and said Tiffany more than kept up, pronouncing her flip kicks "fantastic" and her whole performance absolutely tremendous. He also said that despite what Adam Shankman said, he's never danced in heels, but he'd imagine it is very difficult. Mary said "there's no jive talking in this number, just jive kicking," and told Tiffany she could enter a swing championship with Benji right now and win. And Christina went on for far too long about how she takes dance classes with Benji, and how incredible he is, but then she said the routine was perfectly beautiful and a perfect jive, patting herself on the back for also noticing how fabulous the flip kicks were.

Witney was in full paso doble mode for her solo, to Malagueña by The Brian Setzer '68 Comeback Special. She danced around as if she had a bullfighter's cape. Dramatic but a little sloppy.

Cole was paired with last year's champion, Melanie, for a Sonya-choreographed jazz routine designed to show a softer side of Cole, since most of the characters he has embodied this season have been creepy and psychotic. In this routine, to the brilliant Too Close by Alex Clare, Cole desires freedom from his relationship with Melanie as it's holding him back, but she's too selfish to let him go. This also was a terrific routine (I'm sure Melanie was thrilled to dance with someone like Cole after last week's debacle with Cyrus) that actually had Melanie lifting Cole more than Cole lifting Melanie. Beautiful.

Mary said the routine was gorgeous, saying that while last week she couldn't help but be drawn to Melanie (although she insisted she couldn't take her eyes of Cyrus last week), this week, even with Melanie lifting him, Cole drew her in and commanded her attention on stage. Christina prattled on about Melanie's dancing giving her hope (do you feel my eyes rolling?) but then told Cole he was masterful and powerful. She said the routine had an "androgynous oneness," that she "didn't know where one sex ended and the other began." She said that Cole embodies every character he has played so fully. Oh, yeah, and his foot in his pirouette was sloppy, but she doesn't give a s--t because he's so good. (But remember, the dancing needs to be perfect for everyone except Cyrus.) Nigel praised Cole's vulnerability in this routine and said he adapted really well to this style. He said Cole has done extremely well in this competition because he's such a unique dancer. (Hmm, foreshadowing much?) And Cat proclaimed that "Cole isn't scary at all."

I got a little verklempt with Chehon's mother's praise of him in the intro to his solo, and was totally blown away by the twist he put on his solo itself. Dressed in a goth-like costume, dancing to District 78's Way Back Home, it was both powerful and cool. He is a brilliant dancer.

tWitch was back for another week, this time joining Eliana for a Christopher Scott hiphop routine that Christopher called his "most true-to-life routine ever." It was about an extremely hot ballet dancer who has a crush on a super studly postman, so she writes him a letter, but she won't give it to him until he dances with her. The routine, to The Marvelettes' Please Mr. Postman (albeit the District 78 remix), was cute, but seemed much more Broadway than hiphop. (And Spencer Liff Broadway at that.)

Christina didn't seem overly impressed, saying, "Would Jay-Z hire you to be next to him in a video? No," but explained that Eliana is such an amazing dancer, and she tried to find the dance equivalent of the old "you could sing the phone book" chestnut made every so popular by the Dawg on American Idol. (She came up with "I could watch you do YMCA for hours.") Nigel once again demonstrated his utter impartiality (giggle), telling Eliana once again she is his favorite girl dancer, but that this routine relied more on comedy and character than actual dancing. He called the routine "a cheap burger; there wasn't enough meat." (Cat said something about an In-and-Out Burger that I didn't catch.) Mary called Eliana a chameleon and said she was memorable every week.

Ok, kids, save up your money and submit your leave slips for the three-day SYTYCD experience in Las Vegas! Dance like your favorite contestants (unless your favorite contestant is Cyrus, and then you can just have lots of personality), meet Keith-Tyce, Nappy/Tabs, Christopher Scott, and more!

Tiffany's solo to Carmen Reece's cover of Bruno Mars' Just the Way You Are was blah.

The next routine paired Chehon with movie star Kathryn for a Keith-Tyce contemporary routine which (to be cynical for a moment) was clearly his bid for an Emmy nomination this year. It addressed what people do in the face of a catastrophic tragedy, how they live their life with all of their possessions in just one suitcase. The routine, to Sophie Millman's Eli, Eli (A Walk to Caesarea), was performed in an almost gray light, and Chehon and Kathryn looked like they had been through a tornado, with wind-blown hair and dust-streaked faces, as they passed the suitcase between the two of them. At one point Kathryn literally stood on Chehon's bent back. It was a beautiful, emotionally powerful routine, without trying too hard, as I feel some of the "very special" routines on this show can be.

The judges deservedly gave the number a standing ovation, and Keith-Tyce was crying. Nigel put in his bid for Fox renewing the show, as he thanked Fox for allowing them to spotlight routines like this one, which combined a terrific technical side with a terrific emotional one. Mary called it one of the most amazing numbers this season, a "magical moment." She told Chehon he was "so moved by your own movement," and that the routine oozed with power and passion. Christina called Keith-Tyce "a master of contemporary, so profound" (she also called him "dude"), and told Chehon that while technically he's a master, and one of the most brilliant dancers she's ever seen, it has been great watching him grow emotionally.

I loved Cole's solo, to Nox Arcana's Night of the Wolf. He started wearing a hood, and as he took it off he appeared to transform into a wolf. He was wearing a very interesting type of martial arts gi, I'd guess. Really awesome and unique.

Witney and last season's Marko (with a shaved head) paired up on a Ray Leeper lyrical jazz routine about a pair of young lovers on their wedding day who hit a snag when the bride has second thoughts at the altar. ("Just because I'm 18 doesn't mean I want to get married," Witney said, and then warned Marco, "My dad is waiting with a shotgun in the back.") I thought the routine, to No Nothing by Curtis and Reinhard featuring Blaire, was very lyrical and sweet. I've missed Marko.

Mary said that "Witney is still a star to me," that she had many moments of attack and control, and the pair danced beautifully together. Christina said that everyone knows Witney isn't just a ballroom dancer, but she's so capable of so many different styles. She did call Witney out for a lot of "hairography" in the routine (and then, of course, patted herself on the back again for "inventing" the word), saying she missed being able to see her face. Nigel mentioned that in the process of saving contestants from elimination this season, they've been able to talk to the choreographers, and all of them say Witney's a star. And while her character may not have been committed to the marriage in this routine, Witney has been committed to every step in every routine.

Good solo from Eliana, to Death Cab for Cutie's I Will Follow You into the Dark.

So, who do you think got the season's first dubstep number? Yep, Cyrus. Hasn't had a ballroom dance other than the jive the entire season. In this routine, he got to team up with Season 4's amazing Comfort for a Christopher Scott routine to Cinema by Benny Benassi featuring Gary Go. It was really cool, although the whole thing just made me angry. I just don't understand why the show has decided to throw all of their energy behind a dancer who is only strong in one style. I'd totally get it if he showed one iota of improvement or facility in other styles, but he hasn't.

The judges gave the routine a standing ovation. Christina wasn't particularly effusive, stating the obvious "We liked it a lot," followed by the "This was carved out for you, pal." Nigel called Christopher Scott a mathematical genius for the calculations he had to do in order to choreograph with such precision, and told Cyrus, "we know how good you are." And he again reminded us that Cyrus has never been in the bottom two. Mary said that "we're getting all the Twitters" about how much people love Cyrus (eye roll) because "you connect with us." And she remarked how he was "in his Comfort zone." (Get it?)

Witney and Chehon teamed up again for a cha-cha, choreographed by Jean-Marc to Rihanna's Where Have You Been, ironically, the song to which she danced her solo last week. (Yes, my mind keeps hold of stuff like this. What do you want from me?) It wasn't all that good, really. Witney was certainly in her element, but Chehon struggled, and the lifts were awkward.

Mary called the routine a big improvement over Chehon's performance in the samba, but said that Latin dance really doesn't sit well for him. (Has Cyrus had any Latin dance? No, of course not. But he's had two hiphop routines. How many ballet routines has Chehon had?) She called Witney "Lindsay," and said the routine didn't even show her off, and her "hips mean business." Christina sucked up and said, "I didn't notice anything after the deep plie at the beginning of the routine." Nigel joked that the celebrity judges don't like to give criticism (you know, like the real judges do of nearly every other contestant on the show other than Cyrus), but called the routine generally disappointing.

Cyrus did his solo to Sarah Brightman's Harem. Didn't look much different from what he did in his routine with Comfort.

Mia choreographed a contemporary routine for Cole and Eliana about hatred, which Mia said was inspired by rams and how they fight. (Not the St. Louis Rams, who haven't fought since Kurt Warner left, but actual rams.) The routine, to Adagio for Strings by the Brno Philharmonic Orchestra, was magnificent, powerful, athletic, and just amazing.

The judges gave the routine a standing ovation, and Nigel joked that the routine wasn't inspired by how rams fight, it was inspired by his relationship with Mia. He told Eliana, "this is why I want you dancing," and told Cole he was brilliant. Mary called the routine absolutely mesmerizing, and praised its power and strength. Christina sucked up to Mia for a while, saying there were no words to describe her ("I have a few," joked Nigel), and then told Eliana that it seems like she almost has a light coming from her feet, and that she's the perfect dancer.

The final routine of the evening was a Spencer Liff Broadway routine for Cyrus and Tiffany, which Spencer called, "like an episode of your favorite 1950s sitcom that never aired," because it portrayed a young high school couple left alone, who get up to some mischief. The routine, to Debbie Gravitte's Treat Me Rough (Girl Crazy), was cute but messy. Cyrus couldn't get his jacket off for a while, which complicated things, and again, he just didn't do much, a few half-hearted leaps here and there, a lift, but no real chemistry. The audience clapped weakly, and even Spencer seemed underwhelmed. (But super cute.)

The judges stuck to their script. Christina called the routine sassy, and said that "Cyrus keeps up with the best of them, and Tiffany is the best of them." Nigel called Tiffany a combination of the girl next door and sexy, and, of course, said Cyrus was inspirational. (Yes, you, too, can one day unfairly win a competition show in which you did not excel, because the judges like you.) Mary called the number "the cutest ever!" (hearts and flowers all around) and said Tiffany was a superstar in both her routines.

The amazing Access Dance Company did a really cool routine that paired a dancer with one in a wheelchair. Some pretty amazing acrobatics although the constant tipping of the chair turned me into a nervous parent. I kept wanting to look away.

And then it was results time. To the surprise of no one, Witney and Cole were eliminated. (I had forgotten that Witney had braces when she auditioned.) It seems a foregone conclusion that Cyrus will win, and I'm guessing Eliana will, too, although Tiffany could surprise.

I am so frustrated that Cole was eliminated. Why did every single other dancer on the show get criticized for mistakes or weaknesses in technique but Cyrus was told, "well, this wasn't perfect, but who cares?" How many times did the judges beat up Dareian for his feet, Will for not being serious enough, Matthew for not connecting, or others for lack of emotion or chemistry? But all Cyrus has is personality and talent in his own genre. That is it. There hasn't been one non-hiphop dance he's shown any facility in, no matter what the judges told the audience.

I understand that this show is looking for "America's Favorite Dancer," not the best dancer. But if personality and mastery of one genre is all that is needed, why all the fuss about technique for everyone else? Why send all of the other b-boys and hiphop dancers and belly dancers to choreography during the auditions? Why all the melodramatic eliminations of dancers in Vegas for failure to master Broadway or hiphop or ballroom or contemporary (none of which Cyrus mastered in Vegas) when you're touting as the winner a dancer who cannot do any of this? The only thing Cyrus did well in Vegas was his solo, but he made it into the top 20 over a stronger dancer. And that has happened over and over and over again this season.

Of course, I'll watch the finahle next week, and I certainly know Cyrus won't get a ballroom dance, but he'll get to do another solo. Maybe he'll even be last for like the third show in a row. I guess I'm just glad they expanded to have a male and a female winner this season, otherwise no female dancer would get the recognition they deserve.

Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't let a television show rile me up, huh?

SYTYCD Recap: I'm Shaking and I Need a Cocktail...

Hot Cat returned last night. Seriously, the hair, the dress, everything was spot on. And the show continued to plod its predictable path, with some fabulousness thrown in along the way.

Two weeks until the finale. Why do I feel so ambivalent? Is it because any show that Nigel Lythgoe gets his hands on ultimately frustrates me with his manipulation? (Yeah, maybe.)

The show opened with an awesome group number to Run Boy Run by Woodkid. Each of the male dancers stepped out into a spotlight, and the female dancers held fans. There was a lot of acrobatic movement going on here (although not much dancing from Cyrus, as usual) and it was good to see a group routine that was so cohesive. Will, Cole, and Chehon looked spectacular. The women all looked terrific, too, I just couldn't tell them apart. And it turns out this was choreographed by a newbie, Peter Chu! Well done, sir...

Modern Family's Jesse Tyler Ferguson returned to the judges panel, after being part of some of the auditions. He's such a fan of the show and speaks of it so reverently, but sometimes I feel like he has shtick to do, you know? It's kind of like Ellen DeGeneres as a judge—comment, joke, joke, comment, more joke, now what do you think about me? It's funny but cloying.

Last night, in an effort to fill two hours now that National Dance Day has passed to demonstrate all of the dancers' skills a little better, each of the top 8 performed a routine with an all-star and then a solo. Tiffany's solo, performed to the Glee cast's rendition of Beyonce's I Was Here was pretty fantastic. Some of her best dancing this season. Plus, we saw footage of cute little Tiffany dancing as a young girl. (It was cute until I saw the footage was dated from 1996.)

The first pairing of the evening was Witney and tWitch, dancing a hiphop routine choreographed by newcomer Luther Brown, who seriously is P. Diddy's (or whatever his name is now) doppelganger. (New to this show, but he's a regular choreographer on SYTYCD Canada.) There wasn't any story to this routine, mercifully, but the number, to My Homies Still by Lil Wayne with Big Sean, was fun and challenging and Witney more than held her own against tWitch. (Her own what?) Seriously, for a ballroom dancer, she looked quite good, had some great moves and lots of sexy vamping, and, to use a Christina Applegate-ism, was soupy. (There was a lot of talk about "ratcheting," but seeing as I'm a Jewish kid from Jersey and not one of the Beastie Boys, I don't know from this.) I wasn't able to separate Witney's dancing from her shaking her moneymaker, but it is what it is.

All three judges (especially Nigel) brandished hiphop-appropriate hand gestures, to which Cat said, "You're not trying to be street, are you? It's like a drunk uncle at a wedding." (God bless our Cat.) Nigel asked Witney, "Do all 18-year-old Mormon girls from Utah dance like this?" He called the routine and her performance "excellent" and said he was glad the judges have been able to save her so far, so they could see performances like this. Mary said, "If I had a hat, I'd take it off for you," and praised the musicality of the routine, which allowed Witney to "live in it." (She also made sure to tell Witney she was "buck.") Jesse (whose bow tie threatened to swallow his face) praised Witney's beauty and amazing sensuality, but was more amazed that "you did what you did while wearing diaper pants." (The costumes for this routine included MC Hammer pants. You know, from this video.)

In Will's intro to his solo, he talked about how he had a tough time in school as a child and that dance really helped him break out of his shell. In the first of the emotional moments of the evening, his mother choked up as she explained Will once told her, "Dance saved my life." His solo, to James Morrison's Better Man, wasn't particularly strong, but he's so darned likeable and has really surprised me with his talent. And his family wears "Will Power" tshirts. How awesome? Even Cat wants one.

Cole, paired with Season 2's Allison, took on a contemporary routine choreographed by Sonya to Possibly Maybe by Bjork. The routine was about a soulless, sadistic man (Cole) and the desperate woman vying for his heart. It truly was vintage Sonya, herky-jerky movements (some which reminded me of her fantastic routine with Ellenore and Jakob from Season 6), incredible lifts (including one in which Cole held Allison upside down), more demonic acting from Cole, and a fantastic performance from Allison. I thought it deserved a standing ovation, but I guess it was not part of the script too early in the night. Sonya appeared knocked out by their performances. And Cat said to Cole, "Thank goodness I know you're really such a nice guy, because you'll be in my nightmares."

Jesse told Sonya, "You're sporting a softer look, with a side braid, but you aren't fooling me. You're insane!" He called Allison "one of the greatest actresses" the show has seen and referred to the routine as "an American Horror Story promo." (Does Ryan Murphy pay them to hype all of his shows? What next, references to The New Normal?) The number was so unsettling, he said, "I'm shaking and I need a cocktail." Mary said that Allison gave her best performance ever on the show, and then said to Cole, "The song you danced to was called Possibly Maybe. Possibly you'll be in the finale. Maybe you'll be in the finale. But if you keep dancing like this, probably you'll be in the finale." (Not quite the ringing endorsement he deserved, but...) Nigel said that the number was quirky and scary, and Cole brought his uniqueness to the routine. He said, "There's no reason you won't make the finale." He explained that he thought it would be difficult to watch anyone but Allison in the routine, but in talking with Sonya earlier in the day, she said that of all of the dancers that could partner Allison, Cole was the strongest. I just wish their feedback was a little stronger about Cole's actual dancing, because isn't this a dance competition? Oh, wait.

Lindsay's solo, to Señorita by Bond, was hot. Seriously. Legs for days.

Taking on "the dreaded quickstep" were Eliana and Season 6's Ryan (a seriously underrated dancer). The routine, choreographed by DWTS' Jonathan Roberts (no Anna TreBUHNskaya?), was about a bored housewife who wants her husband's attention when he comes home after a long day. I happen to love the quickstep (check out Sabrina Bryan and Mark Ballas' quickstep from DWTS) but think people just don't get how hard it is. Danced to Caro Emerald's That Man, I thought the performance was fantastic. Eliana and Ryan paired really well together, and there was some fantastic choreography, full of lifts and twists and turns, and I worried that Carrie-Ann or Len would get mad about the lifts. (Oh, wait. Wrong show.) There was this amazing sequence (which Mary later referred to as a waterfall to a back layover) that was breathtaking. Eliana is really fantastic; it's amazing how she's blossomed once she got away from her partnership with Cyrus.

Mary called the performance spectacular and said that Eliana's "frame was good for the most part," but cautioned her about locking her frame. She said that there's nothing Eliana can't do. Exclaiming "Holy Smokies! Lord have Murphy!", Jesse explained that he saw Eliana in her audition, and he is amazed by her transformation from gawky pole dancer to elegant performer. He praised her range of emotion, which most dancers and actors don't have, and said that she had "a very innate accessibility," which makes him feel like he knows her. "Although I don't know you. I know that's weird, but I'm not a stalker." Nigel was shocked by the technicality of the number and called Eliana's top line "the best of any non-ballroom girl." (That's what she said.) He told her that this show was created for her, because she keeps turning in amazing performances no matter what is thrown at her.

Chehon explained that he left home at age 14 to dance with a ballet company in Europe, so he doesn't see his parents that often. Dancing to On the Nature of Daylight by Max Richter, his solo was sheer brilliance. As good as he was in his solo last week, he leaped higher, spun faster, and put all of his emotion into the number. And Mary and Jesse (and a late-standing Nigel) gave him a standing ovation. When the cameras cut to his mother in the audience (one of the most adorable moms since Elliott Yamin's mom on American Idol), Chehon started to cry, and Cat cautioned, "If you go, then I'll go."

Pairing with Alex Freaking Wong, Lindsay took on a Sonya-choreographed jazz routine to the ubiquitous Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye (with Kimbra). The routine didn't have a real story, although it was about the tension between two people, mostly sexual tension. I'll admit I wondered how much sexual tension would be generated by an 18-year-old Mormon girl and a gay man, but I was open to see what would happen. While there was some great dancing, there wasn't any real excitement to the number. I really didn't feel any connection between the two of them, but I thought they performed well.

The lack of sexual tension between the two was the first thing Nigel commented on. He praised their brilliant technique, but suggested that Lindsay look at Allison's performance earlier in the night. He told her she had the ability to reach that level, but hadn't yet. Mary called it "a no in the chemistry department" but said there was some really great dancing. She praised Lindsay's "clarity of movement" but said the routine needed that extra element, the connection between her and Alex. Jesse called Lindsay "ding dong 'dorable," and commented that there must be no one in Utah between Lindsay and Witney's families. He said the routine had "70 percent chemistry and 100 percent technique" but agreed it lacked emotional connection.

Will and Season 3's Lauren paired up for a Christopher Scott hiphop number in which Will played a man with a lot of problems who dances his pain away, and Lauren played the little piece of his mind that helped him through. Danced to Dance My Pain Away by Wye Oak, it was great to see Will's ability to rein in his personality and make us concentrate solely on the dancing. It was a really good routine, and because Lauren was a piece of Will's mind, the two never actually danced together, they never actually touched, although at times their movements mirrored one another.

Mary loved the feel of the routine, calling it articulate, precise, perfect, and really tight. She told Will (stealing the phrase from his family's tshirts) that he "has the power to stay in this competition, you just need to believe in yourself." Jesse called Will "ridiculously adorable, like a gigantic puppy covered in puppy stickers that say 'I'm an Adorable Puppy.'" He said it was good to see Will serious and stripped down (no, that's not what he meant, dirty minds) and, of Will's comment that dance saved his life, Jesse said, "You're an example of why arts in school programs works." Nigel acknowledged that it was tough to dance technically without a partner, but Will did a great job, and thought his more serious performance really worked. Ever the creepy lech, however, Nigel mentioned that it must be good that Lauren comes out when Will is feeling down, and he said, "Lauren, I'm going to feel down tonight." (Gross.)

Witney danced a strong solo to Where Have You Been by Rihanna. Then Cole danced his solo, to Arise by E.S. Posthumus. It was an amazing combination of raw power with his martial arts/dance moves and quiet passion.

Cyrus teamed up with last season's champion, Melanie, for a Mandy Moore-choreographed jazz routine to Badder Badder Schwing by Freddy Fresh with Fatboy Slim. The routine was about two cool people strutting their way through town, and Cyrus had on some seriously loud checkered pants. I thought the routine was awful. There were some cutesy moves, but Cyrus was so weak he made Melanie look bad. (This is what happens when you have a weak partner.) There was no real dancing, just a lot of mugging. To be this weak this far in the season is really a tragedy, and I honestly hoped the judges would call Cyrus on it.

Yeah, right. Jesse said that Cyrus' charisma and spirit made Jesse watch him, and that "even though you might not win the competition, you'll still be synonymous with the show," like tWitch, Legacy, Neil, and Mark. Nigel mentioned that Cyrus hasn't been in the bottom three yet because "America must love you," and said that he's not going to be the best dancer, but the show is about finding the judges'America's favorite dancer, and "you're right there." Mary mentioned that every week Cyrus dances outside his own style (doesn't nearly everyone?) and that no one can do what he does in animation. While "nothing was perfect," his spirit and energy are so memorable, she said.

I can understand if the best dancer doesn't win. Shouldn't a good dancer win? Cyrus is not a good dancer. He is a good animator. That is it. He has gotten by because the judges give him a pass week after week and the choreographers don't push him, which also isn't fair to his partners. (Obviously it doesn't matter to the all-stars, but it wasn't fair to Eliana.) And why is it that they tear every other dancer to shreds for technique and chemistry when Cyrus has neither? If he wins, I don't think I'm going to watch anymore unless they change the format of the show.

Quick question after seeing a commercial for Sam Raimi's upcoming movie, The Possession. Does the world really need another exorcism film?

Eliana's solo to Max Richter's Infra 8 (Max Richter the choice of ballerinas and ballerinos everywhere, as Chehon chose his music for his solo as well) was amazing. She really is a dance goddess.

Chehon and hot tamale Anya paired up for an Argentine tango, choreographed by Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo, to Jesse Cook's Breathing Below Surface. I wanted it to be faster (even if it wasn't supposed to be) but I thought their performance was excellent and the pair had terrific chemistry.

The judges gave the routine a standing ovation. Mary called it her favorite routine of the night and put Chehon on the hot tamale train. (He looked a little dazed, and I wondered if he understood what she was doing.) Jesse started getting wacky at this point, referring to the legwork known as "ganchos" as "nachos," and put Chehon on his "hot jalapeño bus." Nigel praised the routine and said that Chehon was in his element, as the tango required the port de bras (or arm movements) Chehon uses in ballet. He praised the pair's amazing connection, that they just looked in each other's eyes and smiled at one point, and that it was incredible for Chehon to give such a performance in front of his mother.

Cat introduced Cyrus' solo by saying, "Before he reminds us how great he is in his own style..." Et tu, Cat? Honestly, I thought his solo, to Existence by Excision and Downlink, was good, but not as strong as some of his other animation performances previously.

The final routine of the night paired Tiffany with Season 5's Ade for a Mandy Moore routine to Celine Dion's Power of Love. (Also sung by Jennifer Rush, Laura Branigan, and Air Supply, but I'm a treasure trove of useless knowledge.) Lord have Murphy, this routine was awesome! Incredible lifts and throws, great dancing, and the bombast of the music really worked for the performance.

The judges rightly gave the routine a standing ovation. Mary said it was Tiffany's best performance of the season and called her extraordinary. Nigel called it fantastic and said that Tiffany is "a beautiful technician and a beautiful performer." Quoting One Direction (seconds after Cat said the exact same thing), he told Tiffany, "you don't know you're beautiful" and called her "a credit to this program."

And then it was results time. Cat revealed that the bottom two girls were Lindsay and Witney and the bottom two guys were Will and Cole. Boy, did that make me grumpy.

Unsurprisingly, the judges chose to save Witney and Cole, sending Lindsay and Will home. While I wasn't too upset about Lindsay, I'm irritated that Will is going home over Cyrus. Will is certainly stronger than him, and in my mind, even has a better personality and energy in everything he does than Cyrus. Sigh.

This was apparently the last week the judges will decide who stays and who goes. I'm really hoping that people wise up and vote Cyrus off next week. If you consider that the remaining male dancers are Cole, Chehon, and Cyrus, there really isn't a contest.

Will Larry have something new to rage about? I guess we'll see. Ah, television. So entertaining, so infuriating.

SYTYCD Recap: Hey Now, You're An All-Star...

Where has this season gone? I realize that next Saturday marks the first of September, but I feel like the season really just got started, and Cat (sporting slightly messy hair and a silvery sack mini-dress) mentioned last night we're only three weeks until the performance finahle. Obviously we took a break for July 4 and a two-week break for the Olympics, which necessitated the brutal cuts of eight dancers in two shows, but all this does is further undercut how much I've disliked this season's format. Like we couldn't have a 30-minute results show? Like American Idol needs an hour-long results crapfest, but SYTYCD can't?

Quelle dommage, Fox. Quelle dommage, indeed.

The show opened with an old-time Hollywood tribute group number to Cool World Stomp by Mark Isham. Eliana was the star of the number, glammed up like a starlet and treated like royalty. Cyrus lumbered around the stage as he is wont to do (and I don't seem to remember the golden age of Hollywood seeing a lot of animation dancing, save those creations of Walt Disney) and, as I mentioned last week, it gets harder and harder to watch group numbers when so much is going on at once.

I was confused when I didn't recognize one of the guys dancing in the number. I wondered if something had happened and someone had to be replaced by Dareian, but then I realized—why, golly gee—it was Keith-Tyce! Dancing in his own routine! (It turns out K-T was filling in for a "slightly injured" Cole, although the interwebs are swarming with the theory that Keith-Tyce wanted time in the spotlight after the Mia fest last week.) The number, as we've learned, was a tribute to Gene Kelly's 100th birthday (which is today). His widow, Patricia (who must have been about eight when he died), was there. Lovely lady. She's probably like my age. Sigh.

Mini-solos! Witney looked super-hot with her wavy throwback hair. Chehon once again sported his "Che Force" tshirt. Lindsay wore the yellow version of the pink gown she danced her solo in last week. (Why do I notice these things?)

Joining Nigel and Mary on the judges panel this week, the very dapper (and sangfroid) Benjamin Millipied, ballet dancer, choreographer, and Mr. Natalie Portman. The man certainly knows what he's talking about, but I wonder if he was at all rattled by Mary's brand of cray-cray.

Of course, this week marked the return of the All-Stars. First up, Tiffany was paired with Season 5's Brandon (I. Love. This. Man.) on a Doriana Sanchez disco routine to, strangely, a remix of Cobra Starship's You Make Me Feel (la la la la la). The thing with Doriana's routines is they're either spot-on fast, furious and fabulous, or just gimmicky. This routine—with 11 eye-popping lifts—was definitely the former. Brandon, adorable and muscle-bound as always, was a frigging dynamo, tossing Tiffany every which way but loose, above his head, over his shoulder, on the floor, and the two like literally spun a few times. Tiffany really tore into this routine in a way I didn't see her dance while partnered with George.

Nigel was thrilled to have Doriana back and said that Tiffany was sensational and fantastic, although "it is difficult to talk about your dancing, because your feet never were on the floor!" Mary said she set the dance floor on fire, and praised Brandon's strength and finesse through all the lifts, although she said Tiffany more than held up her end of the bargain. "It was a party!," she exclaimed. ("With connection," Nigel interjected.) Benjamin calmly said that Tiffany had the chance to be totally fearless in this routine, and also praised her "very expressive face, which reads well on camera."

Witney was paired up with Season 1 winner Nick for a Travis Wall jazz routine, set to Moloko's Sing It Back. (Hey, now we have half the cast of Travis' show All the Right Moves. Bonus!) This routine takes place in an abandoned lounge, and the dancers play two ghosts who don't want the show to end. Travis' goal was for Witney to be as sexy as possible, since she hasn't had that opportunity on the show. (Plus she's 18, but why let that stop us?) Again, I thought Witney was hot and the pair had super chemistry, but I felt like this number had more wow moments for Nick than her.

Monsieur Portman thought Witney was excellent, and said the routine was difficult because of the transitions between release and tension. (Don't know what that meant but it was far more impressive said with a French accent.) Nigel blathered on about how when the all-stars come back you have to dance and live up to great dancers as well as great choreographers, but Witney was "totally committed." He said "you're sexy when you breathe, darling" and told her she's a star who could go all the way. "Lord have Murphy," said our ballroom diva. She called Witney "smoking" and agreed with Nigel's calling her a star. When Nick left the stage he said to Witney, "You're brilliant." Nice touch.

Our ballroom bombshell Anya (newly blonde) returned to dance the cha-cha with Cole, choreographed by Dmitry Chaplin to The Wanted's Glad You Came. (No mention of Cole's "slight injury." Hmm.) Cole mentioned he was hoping to be the first of the top 10 on the hot tamale train. I thought the cha cha was pretty sexy, and thought the pair had good chemistry, but thought Cole made dance-y faces like Kent used to all the time. (I guess the cha-cha brings out that Dancing with the Stars-esque cheesiness.)

The judges didn't much agree with me. Although Mary called the number "amazing" and reminded everyone that Anya was the original hot tamale, she said that she thought Cole's performance was a little sloppy, uncharacteristically. She cautioned him about applying more pressure to the balls of his feet. She also said the chemistry wasn't hot enough and that the routine wasn't believable (umm, no), and that, while Cole's bags were packed and he was standing on the platform, but he was not yet ready to board the hot tamale train. (It's ok, Cole. The train breaks down a lot. Oh, wait, that's the DC Metro.) Benjamin said Cole partnered well but needed to think about contrast in his movements. Creepy Uncle Nigel told Anya, "I'm glad you came" (gross), but told Cole he was disappointed in his lack of contact with Anya. He said the routine had no rise and fall, and said (accurately) that Cole "was performing to us [the audience], not Anya." All in all though, he called the performance "good, not bad for your first cha-cha." Cole didn't seem particularly amused. (So wait, was he injured? I kept waiting for the judges to temper their criticism with a "but I know you were hurt this week, so..." but it never came. This boy better not go home.)

Much to my immense pleasure, Season 6's Jakob returned (albeit an oranger, more, umm, gay version of himself) to dance with Lindsay. The pair would be performing a Spencer Liff Broadway routine to Dancin' Dan (Me and My Shadow) from Fosse. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not routinely impressed with Spencer Liff's routines, despite how adorable he is, and they usually spell doom for the dancers. This routine, however, which played with light and imagination and shadow, was fantastic. Lindsay danced in front of a screen with Jakob as her shadow, and the two had to perfectly mirror each other's movements, both with and without the screen. (Jakob scarily had a more feminine-looking line than Lindsay, but I don't judge.) I thought Lindsay was fantastic and Jakob really is an incredible dancer, and Spencer gave them both a lot to do.

Nigel told Lindsay she was "magnificent yet again," but she still "had a lot to learn," and it was amazing that she "almost went home two weeks ago." (Almost? Really? You didn't even ask her to do a solo that week.) Rubbing salt in Cole's wounds, Mary put Lindsay on the hot tamale train, saying, "you keep hitting us every single week!" Benjamin called the two a "fantastic pair," and said the number was incredibly well-executed and musical, and praised its "great crescendo." (BalletBoyz, hope you see what a real judge says.)

Will paired up with Season 6's Kathryn (and, of course, the star of Step Up: Revolution) for a Nakul-choreographed Bollywood number about a snake charmer who is charming a sexy woman that turns out to be a snake. The routine, to Ooh La La (The Dirty Picture Soundtrack), was everything a Bollywood routine should be, fast and joyful and playful and sexy and fun. Kathryn continues to amaze me with how her dancing gets better and better (not so much the scintillating personality, but what can you do), and this was the perfect number for Will's goofiness, plus he and Kathryn had great chemistry.

Mary said Will is one of the most likeable contestants on the show, and called him an Energizer Bunny, but also praised his amazing control in his forward ronde. (I love talking dance.) Benjamin called the number charming and engaging, and said that Will "took advantage of every moment." After praising Kathryn's movie stardom (and all but congratulating himself for discovering her), Nigel said to Will, "There are times when I want to tell you to calm down and take things a little more seriously, but then I say, 'Shut up, Nigel.'" (Believe me, I do, too.)

Cyrus finally drew the contemporary straw, pairing with Season 3's Jaimie on a Travis Wall routine about life after destruction, to M83's Outro. It was very dramatic, and Cyrus even did sort of a leap, and his partnering was good, but he's just not a strong enough dancer. I'm starting to really worry about whether he's going to win this competition this season.

I was waiting for Benjamin to criticize Cyrus, but he praised his "raw energy," which he called compelling and exciting. (Oh yeah, Benjamin? Well, your wife didn't deserve the Oscar. So there.) Nigel said that he got a lot of letters at the start of the season from people angry that they put Cyrus on the show because he wasn't a strong dancer (I call BS, because no one writes letters to television shows anymore), but it was that "people just don't understand dance." He quoted George Balanchine, who said, "Don't give me dancers who want to dance, give me dancers who have to dance." He said that Cyrus doesn't point his toes or do other moves cleanly, but "you're still brilliant." Seriously. Mary praised the connections and transitions between lifts, calling them "amazing" (umm, okay) and said that Cyrus' feet and legs "were not the best" but his passion touched everyone. What's the point of the show if he gets a pass every week for not being a strong dancer. I realize that sometimes the entertainment factor has an edge over technicality, but really? Not a good dancer, but brilliant anyway?

In the second "should be interesting" number of the evening, Chehon paired up with Lauren Gottlieb from Season 3 on a Dave Scott hiphop routine to Maxwell's Pretty Wings. The routine was about a pair of best friends who always lean on each other. I found the number much more of a lyrical hiphop than an actual hiphop routine, but Chehon did do some terrific moves.

Nigel said, "Dave finally took the stick out of you." He said Chehon finally had a smile on his face (and cool hair), and seemed so much warmer than he has previously. He lectured Chehon a bit about technique versus passion, and praised him for "setting the hook out there and reeling us in." Mary said she wanted it to be funkier (because that's how she rolls, yo) and said it was in and out for her, but Benjamin praised Chehon's spontaneous-seeming performance, saying it looked like he had fun, although he told him to focus more on "looseness."

Keith-Tyce returned to choreograph a jazz routine for George and Season 2's Allison to Hazmat Modine's Bahamut. The routine took place in Paris, where George is a rich man waiting for a train but Allison distracts him, and the two spend a raunchy night together. Allison (with darker hair) is sexy as hell, and again this week, George was technically terrific but his performance lacked personality and passion, which was strange for a number that was supposed to be passionate and raunchy. (The boy wears bow ties and shorts. Raunch and George don't seem to mesh that well, do they?)

Mary said that Nigel would have missed his train, too (I love it when the other judges and Cat preempt Nigel's creepiness), and called the routine "fun to watch." Benjamin admitted he was a fan of George's, and called him "exceptional" and "an amazing mover" who "can do almost anything." Nigel called George's technique tremendous, but said he didn't believe the character he played, calling it "immature." He said that George was just dancing, and Allison wouldn't have thought he was raunchy at all.

I'm sure that Eliana breathed a sigh of relief when she learned it was finally time to dance with an all-star instead of Cyrus, and I'm sure she utterly freaked out when she found out she'd be paired up with Season 7's doomed Alex Freakin' Wong! The two took on a Stacey Tookey routine to Nancy Sinatra's Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down), about an on-again, off-again relationship. Lord have Murphy! Eliana was absolutely incredible—technically brilliant, sexy, and powerful, and Alex showed what a force he would have been had he been able to actually compete on the show. Best routine of the night, although it seemed much shorter than the others.

The judges gave them a standing ovation (although Benjamin hesitated in his very French way). Nigel proclaimed, "If anyone is unsure what it means to have maturity in movement, they need to watch this routine." He called Eliana his favorite girl this season, and praised her perfection in both technique and performance. He, too, said the number was too short. Mary called Eliana the star of the show, saying this routine was her favorite of the night. She said it was "perfectly layered, like the perfect tiramisu." (Yummy.) Benjamin said the routine was executed beautifully and driven by so much passion that everyone felt it.

The final routine of the evening paired Audrey with the always-amazing tWitch (aka "Titch") on a Dave Scott hiphop number to Sincerely Jane by Janelle Monae. The routine was about a 400-year-old couple who both love and hate each other and Dave said that "on a scale of 1-10, this routine is a 12." (Don't know what that meant, but it wasn't. In any way.) The couple started out in a coffin and all I kept thinking was, "Boy, Audrey is out of her league." (And besides, I haven't seen a zombie-themed routine I've enjoyed since Jason and Kayla danced to Izza Kizza's They're Everywhere in Season 5.) Audrey also looked like a little girl dancing with a man.

Benjamin said it was unfair that Audrey had to dance with tWitch, and he wanted more from her. Mary Mary Quite Contrary said that Audrey made her watch her, not tWitch (yeah, right) and called her "a little dance angel." Nigel said he would have liked to see a little more character, and said, in an utterly unconnected remark, that Audrey reminded him of Helena Bonham Carter. Wha? Because of her ability to do British costume dramas? Nigel also said how amazing tWitch is, and how proud he is of his success in Step Up: Revolution (I kept expecting Shankman to poke his head in every time the movie was mentioned). tWitch was surprisingly emotional about this praise.

Cat then rushed the top 10 into the dreaded results. (Like they couldn't have paused for a commercial? They had 30 minutes left. Has anyone ever watched American Idol and noticed how they draw...everything...out...and...time for a break!) She revealed that, unsurprisingly, Audrey was in the bottom two (should have gone home last week, grumble grumble) and that Witney joined her. Really? The bottom two guys were George (for the third week in a row—should have gone home last week, grumble grumble) and Chehon. No Cyrus. Again.

Given that there was a ton of time left, it was no surprise when Nigel said he wanted all four to dance their solos. Witney brought her hotness to Santigold's You'll Find a Way and did a terrific job; Audrey danced to the appropriate And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going by Jennifer Holliday, and was appropriately fierce and determined; Chehon was absolutely magnificent in his solo to Olafur Arnalds' Til Enda, bringing one of the highest leaps I've ever seen and a magnificent pirouette series; and George, also trotting out the Olafur Arnalds (he danced to Brotsjor), was tremendously strong as well. I had a feeling they'd let Audrey go but wasn't sure if they'd save George for the third time.

But before the death blows were loosed, Benjamin's LA Dance Project performed to Nico Muhly's Trio. And if Eliana and Alex's routine earlier was a tiramisu, this was a soufflé—lovely to look at but kind of boring.

In revealing the results, Nigel mentioned that the decision to save Witney wasn't unanimous. (Wha? Who didn't want to save Witney? Audrey was weak two weeks in a row. Is Witney a bitch to the choreographers or something?) Audrey was sad, but surprisingly the cameras didn't cut to Matthew Gosling in the audience, which they had earlier.

Of the guys, Nigel mentioned that both have had trouble connecting with the audience. He said George danced the best solo they'd ever seen him dance, and said that Chehon takes their breath away with his solos but they don't understand why he can't translate that into his performances. However, because he takes the judges' breath away, they decided to save Chehon. (I would have thrown a fit if George was saved again, considering that clearly he hasn't connected with the audience almost ever.) George's farewell montage reminded me he rocked the shorts and bow tie combination even when he made it into the top 20.

It's interesting. For a season I thought had such tremendous promise, I'm a little baffled about where it's going. Who is going to win? For me, Cole has been superior every week, although I enjoy watching Will's performances and Chehon is a magnificent dancer. And then, of course, there's Cyrus. Short of an amazing—no, miraculous—transformation in the next three weeks, he should not win, and if he does, there's something wrong with the show. As far as the girls, I guess it's Eliana's to lose, but I'd guess any of the other three could win.

I just don't feel as strongly about these contestants as I did Melanie, Marko, and Sasha last season. And I have no idea who will be in the bottom two next week—I'm guessing it will be Chehon and Cole (or Will), with Chehon or Will going home, and I'd guess for the girls, anyone but Eliana will go home next week.

For a show I enjoy so much, I wish I didn't feel so ambivalent. But maybe it will change next week, should (fingers crossed) it be Cyrus' turn to say adieu.

Lord have Murphy, indeed.

SYTYCD Recap: Oh, Solo Mia...

Great to have the show back after a two-week break for the Olympics! I feel like we've missed so much—they've launched an app, celebrated National Dance Day, and welcomed the cutest Nappy/Tabs production of them all, little London Riley D'umo. (What do you have to show for those two weeks, just watching the Olympics? Slacker.)

After a two-week hiatus I'll admit I was expecting more Fabulous Fashion Cat and less Viennese Countess Cat, but there she was, Heidi-inspired braids and all. And clearly she spent her two weeks marooned with the Swiss Family Robinson, who lent her scraps of their washcloths from which to make fringe for her sparkly pink dress, but it is what it is...

Last night, SYTYCD attempted to answer the question, "Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?" (Oh, wait, that was The Odd Couple.) In all seriousness, last night's show was dedicated solely to Mia Michaels, with the contestants performing some of her—and the show's—most memorable routines.

Sounds like a great idea, right? Well, much like we've seen on other performance shows, you cannot manufacture magical moments. Sometimes performances are transcendent not only because of exceptional talent, but because the performers are in a moment, you know? There's something special about that second, that crowd, that note or that move, that can't be duplicated. Plus, when you ask different people to recreate that same moment, it will almost always fall short.

For me, it was a night of unrealistic expectations, few inspired performances, and unfair judging from Nigel, which bordered on the interrogatory at times. And Mia didn't seem all too wowed by it either, although in an interview with EW.com, Mia mentioned that she was honored by the tribute.

But before we get started, let's introduce our...JUDGES! In addition to Mr. Nigel Lythgoe (sir) and the subdued Mary Murphy, the panel featured the "BalletBoyz," noted English dancers Michael Nunn and Billy Trevitt, who apparently have never seen the show and seemed torn between Zooey Deschanel-like praise and actual constructive criticism.

The show opened with a group number to Active Child's Hanging On, which Mia said was inspired by a long-distance relationship she's been in for the last two years. It was like Cirque du Soleil-meets-50 Shades of Grey, as many of the dancers hung from ropes and did aerial acrobatics, while many of the female dancers had one arm tied to them. Interestingly enough, Cyrus and Dareian didn't do much in this number, just wandered around the stage a lot. While this was visually stunning, I'd rather watch group numbers when everyone's in sync, because it's harder to concentrate when you're watching 14 people doing different things. (Ooh, something shiny.)

As each pair was introduced, they shared their most inspiring moment from the first eight seasons of the show. First up, Cyrus and Eliana. For Cyrus, the most inspiring moment was Bryan Gaynor's Season 7 audition, especially since Bryan is an animator and apparently one of Cyrus' roommates. And Eliana chose Season 3's "Peace Dances," choreographed by Wade Robson.

The pair would be taking on "The Door," first danced in Season 4 by Katee and tWitch, to Mercy by Duffy. As Nigel will comment several times during the show, it's difficult to separate the original routines from the new ones, and I had a hard time here. First of all, I felt Cyrus barely danced; he lumbered around the stage a lot, and the most challenging moves he did in the routine were animation moves. I'm starting to tire of routines being choreographed around his lack of skill, when better dancers keep getting eliminated. Eliana was fierce and showed some passion, but it must be hard to dance with someone that doesn't have a lot of skill.

Nigel acted surprised that it was difficult to disassociate the dancers from those who originated the routines, but said that Cyrus "got to twitching" (although he cautioned him to lower his shoulders) and said that Eliana was so strong she should have ended up on the other side of the door. He also said that she demonstrates an ability to create great characters while focusing on technique. Mary loved the routine, saying Eliana was "for roaches" (ferocious) while Cyrus was an entertainer. (Not a dancer, mind you.) Michael and Billy talked about how they have never seen any of the routines so they would approach everything fresh, and then didn't say anything about the performance at all. So the non-dancing Cyrus gets a pass. Again.

George's most inspiring moment was Season 2's zombie group dance choreographed by Wade Robson, while Tiffany liked Ellen DeGeneres' hiphop tribute to Alex Wong from Season 7. This week, the pair would be dancing "Hometown Glory" to Adele's song of the same name (originally danced by Katee and Joshua in Season 4. This is an amazingly acrobatic, balletic routine, with fast and frenzied movements. I thought George danced beautifully but lacked personality, and Tiffany just seemed a little too much.

Mary wanted to call 911 because "they murdered the routine." She called George's assisted lift and the transitions flawless, and said that while Tiffany was soft and powerful, she needed to be careful of over-performing. Billy (I think) praised their fantastic energy but said that it felt as if they were watching two solos instead of a duet, because Tiffany wasn't connecting enough. Nigel told George it hasn't seemed as if they've seen the best of him all season, "but tonight we have." He commented on the pair's energy and strength, and called it an excellent job, but said Tiffany "overegged the pudding" (gross) a bit. (I guess when there are three English judges out of four and an English host, you can go for pudding humor. You can also do this when Bill Cosby is on. And I miss Jell-O Pudding Pops.)

Will and Amelia had the misfortune the opportunity to dance "The Butt" routine originated by Evan and Randi in Season 5. (Will's favorite moment was when Nigel was "kidnapped" during a Top 20 group dance in a season I didn't watch, and Amelia loved Melanie and Neil's contemporary dance to Total Eclipse of the Heart last season.) "The Butt" piece, danced to Koop Island Blues by Koop, is a piece of musical comic theater, where a guy is entranced by a woman's bodacious bottom. It requires not only some great dancing skills, but great personality, great energy, and great acting. I thought Amelia and Will brought all of that to this routine. They have terrific chemistry. Will had some terrific tumbling and floor moves, and Amelia's tousled hair looked great on her. Really loved it.

Apparently the judges watched a different routine. Of course, Nigel has "had Randi's butt on my mind for four years," so immediately you knew he couldn't separate the original routine from Will and Amelia's performance, and then he said the number was just "so Evan, so Randi." He said that Amelia could have brought more charm and coquettishness to the performance, and said she was staring at the floor a lot, while he said Will tried to bring more of a character to the routine. Mary liked it, although she said Will was "over the top but believable" (oxymoron much?) and that Amelia was "exquisite to watch" but looked down at the floor too much. The BalletBoyz said it was very strong, musical, and endearing, although (in beautifully understated English style) "there were moments where a little subtlety wouldn't have gone amiss." (Brilliant.)

Janelle's favorite moment was Chelsea and Mark's Season 4 dance to Bleeding Love, while Dareian's was Season 7's contemporary dance by Kent and Neil to How It Ends. (Why I love Dareian, part 12...) Last night, the pair danced "The Bed" routine to John Mayer's Dreaming with a Broken Heart, originated by Kherington and tWitch in Season 4. In her EW.com interview, Mia mentioned that this was envisioned as a follow up piece to "The Door," in that the male character was regretting breaking up with his girlfriend and dreamed of her, but they could never connect, which is why they don't ever touch in the number. Janelle revealed that the emotion of the routine hit home, because her eight-year relationship is on the rocks. Dareian was absolutely fantastic in this performance, bringing passion, vulnerability, fire, and some phenomenal moves (including a flip on the bed), and while Janelle didn't have much to do, her moments were passionate.

The Boyz called out Dareian's sickle feet (as everyone does) and said they were worried about his lines, and they said that while Janelle gave a great performance but they were distracted by her hair. (But Cyrus and Eliana got no criticism at all. Weird.) Nigel said it was the first time he saw Dareian's personality (so not true), said he had better technique than tWitch, and that he is "a great little dancer," but said it was almost a solo, since Janelle didn't have much to do and didn't stand out. Mary said she didn't feel any raw emotion in the performance, partially because she couldn't see Janelle's face, and told Dareian, "there's nothing stopping you, except those tootsies!"

Audrey's favorite moment was Season 1's disco dance from Melody and Nick, while Matthew's was Ade and Lauren's pop jazz routine from Season 7, to Oh Yeah (aka the song from Ferris Bueller's Day Off). The pair would be taking on the emotional "Time" routine to Billy Porter's song of the same name, danced originally by Lacey and Neil in Season 3. This routine represented a reunion in heaven between Mia and her father. I described this number as beautiful but not technically challenging, and Matthew and Audrey's performance lived up to that description. I thought Audrey brought a beautiful passion and light to the performance, but Matthew's lack of personality (although seriously hot) didn't help him, and he seemed almost tentative, as if he were afraid to slip on all of the flowers strewn across the stage.

An emotional Mary, who talked about how much the original performance touched her, said that Matthew and Audrey brought dignity to the routine but that she didn't feel Matthew's passion or truth. She called Audrey a shining star, however. The Boyz said Audrey nailed her first pirouette and was lovely, but said that Matthew's performance was inconsistent, as he would drop his expression just before a lift, as if he were looking for where to place his feet. Nigel was downright abusive in his critique, asking if Matthew knew who Mia's father was, what he did for a living, and asking Audrey at what age Mia lost her father. It seemed utterly ridiculous. He explained that Mia's father was a song and dance man (and apparently the original Marlboro Man?), so the original routine had his character wanting to entertain his daughter, and Matthew didn't do that, and since Mia lost her father as an adult, Audrey's almost childlike performance didn't work for Nigel. Both seemed crestfallen, Matthew more so, almost on the verge of tears.

Witney and Chehon were up next. Witney's favorite moment (which she saw "when she was 12") was Travis' fake audition as "Danielle" in Season 4, while Chehon (wearing a "Che Force" shirt) said his favorite moment was Melanie's audition in Season 8. Witney and Chehon danced "The Bench," one of Mia's most iconic routines, danced beautifully by Travis and Heidi in Season 2. The routine, to Celine Dion's Calling You, is about Mia's relationship with a gay friend, whom she loved but he wouldn't (and couldn't) reciprocate. While not a dead-on re-creation of the original routine, I thought Chehon and Witney's performance was quite lovely. Chehon's amazing technique allowed him to replicate some of Travis' signature moves without looking like imitations, and his steeliness worked in this number, but he didn't quite lose all discipline. Witney is really just a beautiful dancer, and her sweet, innocent-seeming quality made her endearing. I love this routine and Celine's version of this song from the movie Bagdad Cafe.

Mary said Chehon has "the strongest center" of anyone on the show, but he needs to "just let it go a little more," pointing to his stiff slide off the bench (which Travis did so fluidly). She called Witney remarkable and fearless. Nigel re-explained the story behind the dance and said the couple pulled it off, while The Boyz praised Witney's home of Salt Lake City (random) and told Chehon he'd always have a job with them.

The final routine of the night was Lindsay and Cole's take on Kayla and Kupono's brilliant "Addiction" routine from Season 5, set to Sara Bareilles' Gravity. (Lest I forget, Cole's favorite moment was when Mark Kanemura—a friend from Hawaii—made it into the top 20 in Season 4, while Lindsay loved Travis and Benji's hiphop routine from Season 2. Lindsay watched it "when she was 12" and she and a friend even re-created the number on film.) Next to "The Bench," this may be my favorite routine of Mia's. From the second the performance began, I was absolutely mesmerized by Cole, who looked like Edward Scissorhands or another of Johnny Depp's Tim Burton-directed characters. Cole brought a creepy twist to Kupono's sinister portrayal, and truly took hold of Lindsay and the performance. Lindsay was emotional (though a little more restrained than Kayla's initial performance) and threw herself across the stage. Seriously, Cole should win this competition, but more and more I'm fearing Cyrus might.

The Boyz were very impressed and said they couldn't even tell what genre were Cole and Lindsay's specialties. Mary said she loved the pair the best of anyone last night, saying Cole's "quirky role" really worked for him, and of Lindsay, "My God, was she good tonight?" Nigel, too, said the couple gave the best performance of the night, and said that Cole "scared the s--t" out of him with his "psychotically brilliant, spine chilling" performance. He called Lindsay "stunning."

Then it was time to reveal the bottom three guys and girls. For the first time this season, Cat revealed the result by couple, but since people vote individually, the whole thing didn't work as well. The bottom three girls were Amelia (what?), Janelle (no surprise there), and Lindsay (the voters just don't like her for some reason). The bottom three guys were George (again), Dareian (again, no surprise), and Matthew. Someone explain to me how Cyrus escaped the bottom three again, and why Audrey—who was just as weak as Matthew in their salsa—didn't wind up in the bottom three either. Nigel decided that all of the contestants should dance solos.

Amelia's solo to Falling Slowly from the movie Once was beautiful but boring; Janelle did a good, if not showy enough, belly dance to Elie Attieh's Inta Omri, and Lindsay dominated the solos with a fiery routine to one of my favorite songs, Hip Hip Chin Chin by Club des Belugas, in a fierce pink dress with fringe which really showed how long her legs are.

For the guys, George danced another beautiful but passionless solo to So Long Lonesome by Explosions in the Sky, although he did show he could point his toes. (Take that, Dareian.) Dareian went full-bore again in his solo, dancing this time to Joshua Ledet's version of It's A Man's Man's Man's World, throwing in a fabulous pirouette series and lots of other moves. And Matthew's solo to Damien Rice's Delicate was nice to look at but boring.

After some fake consideration, Nigel revealed that because of her performance last night, the judges chose to save Lindsay, thus eliminating Amelia and Janelle. Janelle seemed unsurprised but Amelia was overcome with emotion. He then told Matthew he was a great dancer but needed to find a way to connect with the audience, and called Dareian a "great, tricky dancer" from whom they never knew what to expect, but he needed to learn how to point his feet. And then he revealed that for the second week in a row, the judges chose to save George. (Yawn.)

Next week comes the all-stars, and I hope they're strong. Because I'm all about the eye candy strong dancers, I'd love to see the return of Mark, Neil, Kent, and how about Jakob?

People, it's time for Cyrus to go—now. He's not a good dancer, period. Even though I didn't think Russell deserved to win in Season 6 as Jakob was the far superior dancer, Russell at least gave it his all and danced quite well. Cyrus has been getting a pass from the judges and the choreographers, week after week. It's so aggravating. And at what point do Nigel and company realize that if George winds up in the bottom three every week, he's clearly not connecting with the audience, so he's not succeeding like they think he is?

Because there was time to kill at the end of the show, we got to watch the awkward, sad segment where all of the contestants hug each other and the judges. Saw lots of weird interpersonal dynamics, but also saw Mia basically smother Dareian with kisses and tell him how fabulous she thought he was. (I haven't quite thawed on her treatment of Brandon in Season 5 or her rolling over AdéChiké in Season 7, but I'm getting there.)

One note of gratitude: although Shankman was in the audience, we were spared any cuts to his overly emotional visage after each performance. Bless you, camera gods.

See you next week!