Book Review: "You Can't Be Serious" by Kal Penn

No, You Can't Be Serious isn't the John McEnroe story: it's an insightful, funny memoir from Kal Penn, actor and one-time Obama administration employee.

I’ve been a big fan of Kal Penn’s since Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (I am, at my very core, a 12-year-old), and I really think he’s talented. I also was impressed that he left his acting job on House to take a position in the Obama administration for two years. Couple that with the recent public acknowledgment that he is gay and engaged, and I was all in on this memoir.

Most important thing I learned: when he was in middle school/high school, HE LIVED IN MY HOMETOWN. C'mon, Marlboro people, did no one else know this? Seriously, he even name dropped my middle school! He’s eight years younger than me so I was already in college but he went to middle school with my brother. (He was using his real name, Kalpen Modi, then.) How crazy is that?

I really enjoyed Penn’s self-deprecating style in this memoir, as he talked about what it was like to grow up Indian and be the child who wants to act rather than go to medical or law school as expected. He also talked a lot about how difficult it was (and is) to get a job in Hollywood when you look like he does, and fight the stereotypes casting directors and producers have about Indian actors.

He also really comes alive talking about his time campaigning for President Obama and working the administration, seeing the political system from both sides.

The one thing I expected a little more of was a discussion about his sexuality, since there was public acknowledgment of it prior to the book's release. He refers to being gay in passing a few times and then talks about meeting his now-fiancé, and how their relationship progressed. But clearly, it’s just another aspect of his life, so it doesn’t get special treatment. I'm glad to see he didn't view it all as a big deal.

I don’t read a lot of memoirs, particularly by celebrities, but I like him, and found this as engaging as I’d imagine he’d be in real life. Plus, Marlboro people gotta represent!

Book Review: "Sex and Vanity" by Kevin Kwan

Sex and Vanity is another zany tale of wealth, love, and excess from Kevin Kwan, the author of Crazy Rich Asians and its sequels.

⁣ ⁣ "When we align with the truth of who we are, all things are possible."

Lucie Churchill arrives on the gorgeous island of Capri for the wedding of her old babysitter. She can’t believe she’s been invited to what will inarguably be the wedding of the year, especially in such a beautiful location. She also can’t believe she’s being chaperoned by her older cousin Charlotte, who always reminds the half-Chinese, half-American to “think of her [white] family’s name” when doing things.⁣

⁣ When Lucie meets the handsome, intelligent George Zao, something about him makes her bristle. He seems to always be where she is, he always seems to know everything, and he’s too confident. But when an incident brings them together she suddenly can’t get him out of her mind no matter how much she tries. And when they are caught in a delicate position, she is forced to leave Capri and forget him for good.⁣

⁣ A few years later, now engaged to society’s most in-demand bachelor, Lucie runs into George again. The more that she learns about him, the more she becomes conflicted about how she feels. In the end she does everything she can to push him away, to once again sublimate the Chinese side of her heritage.

⁣ ⁣ What will win out, heart or heritage? Love or social appropriateness? Once again, Kwan brings his trademark sly humor along with his immense descriptive talent. This is a book that should be seen, felt, and tasted, because everything sounds so breathtaking. (Plus most of the food sounds utterly outrageous.)

⁣ ⁣ This book didn’t really wow me, though, as much as the Crazy Rich Asians series did. I think there was more fun in those books and the romances were more exciting. Even the constant bragging got old after awhile. But despite its shortcomings, I still enjoyed the book and I will read everything Kwan writes. I just wanted to love this one more.⁣

Book Review: "Beauty Queens" by Libba Bray

Beauty pageants are often frequent targets of satire, even if most of the aspects that are lampooned are pretty exaggerated. We love to pull out the "world peace" trope, and revisit the idea that beauty pageant contestants are dumb, even if in reality they're quite often tremendously accomplished. (And I say this as both a fan and a nearly 12-year volunteer with the Miss America Organization.)

The young women in Libba Bray's satire, Beauty Queens, a cross between Miss Congeniality and Drop Dead Gorgeous, with a little bit of the media-related commentary of Max Headroom are in a class by themselves. They're flying to the beach to compete in the Miss Teenage Dream pageant, and their every move is being captured by film crews, with the culminating event being the televised pageant itself. And then the unthinkable happens—their plane crash-lands on a deserted island, killing the majority of the contestants and all of the adults involved, and leaving a select few to fend for themselves.

From the get-go, Miss Texas, Taylor Rene Krystal Hawkins, wants the survivors to keep practicing their musical numbers, keeping up their beauty rituals (despite losing most of their cosmetics, not to mention food and water and hygiene products), because Miss Teenage Dream is always prepared. But Miss New Hampshire, Adina Greenberg, who never really cared much about competing anyway, thinks it's crazy the girls don't concentrate on surviving the elements and try to get rescued. They can't have a pageant if all the contestants have starved to death or get eaten by wild animals, can they?

But what the contestants don't realize is that the island isn't deserted—it's actually the site of a top secret compound run by "The Corporation," the conglomerate that produces the pageant as well as nearly every popular television show (like Patriot Daughters," featuring a sexy Betsy Ross, and Captains Bodacious, which features a group of telegenic young men masquerading as pirates), movie, book, and record, not to mention pharmaceuticals, fashions, and beauty products. And The Corporation is about to take part in a very shady business deal with a very shady foreign dictator.

Beauty Queens lampoons so many elements of pageants, from the pushy mothers who strong-arm their daughters into competing, to the vapid contestants who know a lot about makeup and smiling but little about the world around them. And then there's the most famous Miss Teenage Dream ever, Ladybird Hope, now an aspiring presidential candidate. Her take on why the pageant is important:

"Our country needs something to believe in, Barry. They need us to be that shining beacon on the hill, and that shining beacon will not have all these complications and tough questions about who we are, 'cause that's hard, and nobody wants to think about that when you already have to decide whether you want Original Recipe or Extra Crispy and that little box is squawkin' at ya. And let me tell you something, Barry, that shining beacon will have a talent portion and pretty girls, because if we don't come out and twirl those batons and model our evening gowns and answer questions about geography, then the terrorists have won."

Parts of this book were quite funny, and the contestants' adventures were interspersed with "commercials" from The Corporation. But after a while, as the plot got more and more outlandish, it started to lose steam, and it just wasn't as funny anymore. There were only so many times the contestants could joke about the slutty one, the lesbian, and the token minorities, or the plot entailed the contestants defending themselves with everyday beauty tools and products before the book just lost its appeal. I think if this book were shorter, it definitely would have been funnier, but instead it appears Bray tried to cram as much as she could into the plot.

If you enjoy satire and social commentary about just how silly the media is and how much control it has over us, you may enjoy Beauty Queens. It's definitely amusing, even laugh-out-loud, stupid funny in places. I just wish it didn't lose steam before it ended.