When There Are No Answers...

Sometimes you hear things on the news that just devastate you.

Last night, in Newburgh, NY, a woman drove her minivan off a boat ramp into the Hudson River, killing herself and three of her small children, ages 5, 2 and 11 months old. Just moments before, she let her 10-year-old son out of the minivan.

While details are still not being revealed—or are not truly known—at this time, apparently the woman was involved in a domestic dispute shortly before this incident, so she loaded her four children into the minivan and drove off.

At this point, I feel for all involved. I cannot imagine how the boy feels, and how this will impact his life.

If the woman was suffering from post-partum depression, this tragedy again underscores the need for more treatment and attention to this truly serious illness. More children should not be lost, like the children of Susan Smith, Andrea Yates and countless others.

And if the children were caught in the crossfire of a domestic dispute, perhaps this will be the straw that convinces conservatives that leaving children in abusive or neglectful situations, leaving them in foster care, is not preferable to adoption by a same-sex couple who can love and provide for them.

But this isn't about politics. This is about the children. This is about lives lost. Sometimes there are no answers.

Book Review: "Emily, Alone" by Stewart O'Nan

Stewart O'Nan is one of my favorite authors. He has written some absolutely phenomenal books, including Snow Angels, which is one of my favorite books of all time. He has an incredible ability to tell a story that stays with you, and creates vivid, multidimensional characters. His latest book, Emily, Alone is a perfect example of his literary talents, and I read the whole thing in one day.

Emily Maxwell is growing older, and she's not enjoying it entirely. She doesn't enjoy the changes her suburban Pittsburgh neighborhood is undergoing, she is still mourning the death of a close friend (and doesn't like the fact that other friends are getting ill and dying), and she wishes she had a better relationship with her grown children and grandchildren. Her closest companions are her sister-in-law, Arlene, and her aging dog, Rufus. When one morning Arlene faints while they are out to breakfast, Emily finds that becoming more independent and taking control of your future doesn't quite mean you have control—life is going to move forward no matter what. And growing older doesn't mean you can let go of your hopes and fears, past hurts and dreams, as Emily finds herself re-examining her relationships with her family and friends, and what motivated her toward certain actions in her life.

I thought this was an absolutely terrific book. Emily and Arlene are realistic and vivid characters I could see in my mind's eye, and their relationship is an amusing and heartfelt one. I worried this book, given its focus on growing older, would be a depressing read, but that wasn't the case. Yes, it certainly had sad moments, but O'Nan focused on relationships and possibilities much more than regrets. While this book has been labeled a sequel of sorts to Wish You Were Here, a previous book O'Nan wrote, you don't have to read that one before this one. (If you enjoy this book, however, I recommend that one, too.) We don't often think of elderly people having fulfilling lives in their later years, but this book takes us on a terrific journey into Emily's life, and I'm already wanting more.

Book Review: "Little Bee" by Chris Cleave

When Sarah, a savvy magazine editor from London, and Little Bee, a Nigerian girl on the run from men trying to kill her and her sister, first meet, their interaction has disastrous consequences that never fade for anyone involved. When they meet again two years later, it is another tumultuous time in both of their lives, but they try to build a friendship in which they help one another cope. But that is not as easy as it seems.

To give more plot description than that would spoil some of the story as it unfolds. This is a captivating story with flawed characters, and as the plot reveals itself, there are definitely some surprises. The book switches between Sarah's narration and Little Bee's, and sometimes it is difficult to keep track of what is happening. Chris Cleave juggles a number of major themes and tangents fairly well, and you are definitely motivated to keep reading in order to see if what you think is going to happen actually does.

I thought this was a good book. I felt that the last third of the book happened much too abruptly and the ending was ambiguous and slightly dissatisfying. But the characters are tremendously memorable, and they stick with you after the story is finished, so this is definitely worth reading. Thanks to Caroline Kuhlman for the recommendation!!

The Mark of a True Champion...

The international press may still cover every move Tiger Woods makes instead of giving other notable players much press, but it's more than clear that the most popular golf player out there right now is Phil Mickelson.

For years, Phil was known as the most talented player to never win a major championship, until he finally broke through with a win at the Masters in 2004. He won the PGA Championship in 2005 and was victorious at Augusta again in 2006, and not for one of the most storied collapses in the game (rest assured, Jean Van de Velde, you're still at the top of that list), he would also have won the US Open at Winged Foot that year. And his magnificent Masters victory last year, in the face of both his wife and mother struggling with breast cancer, truly touched the world.

Part of Phil's appeal is that, if Tiger is (or was) Superman, Phil has been more of Everyman. Sometimes his hair is too long, his weight isn't always perfect, and he usually walks the courses with an affable grin on his face. He truly is in love with what he does.

But the other part of Phil's appeal is his incredible magnanimity. In 2007, after hearing the story of retired NFL player Conrad Dobler and his family on ESPN explaining their struggles to pay medical bills, Mickelson volunteered to pay tuition for Dobler's daughter, Holli, at Miami University in Ohio.

And this week, Phil showed true class again. In one of many Masters traditions, the reigning champion hosts a dinner before the championship starts, for past winners and a few other dignitaries. The reigning champion chooses the menu, which is usually reflective of childhood favorites or food representing his home town/country or ethnic background. Instead, he chose to honor two-time champion Seve Ballesteros, who is unable to travel to Augusta as a result of brain cancer.

"All of the past champions are really thinking about Seve," Mickelson said. "Honoring Seve is easy and no big deal. I just want him to know we all wish he was here and we are thinking about him."

Mickelson's menu included paella, prime rib with manchego cheese and a gazpacho salad, and served as a tribute to a player he remembers watching win the Masters when he was a boy.

While as of today it's anyone's guess who will win the Masters on Sunday, one thing is clear: not only will Phil Mickelson always be a champion because of the victories he has achieved, but because he carries himself with class, dignity and compassion. Other professional athletes could do well to follow his example.

Now, go get 'em, Lefty!

AI Results Show Recap: River Deep, Mountain High, Show Horrible

Ten seasons I have been watching American Idol, and every season there has been at least one decision that has made me irate. But none worse than the results of tonight's show.

Since the top 13 started, five female performers (Ashthon, Karen, Naima, Thia and now Pia) have been voted off. Two females and all six males remain, and many of the male performers have delivered weaker songs than some of the females. But when you allow the American public—which consists of 95 percent preteen, tween and teen girls—to wholly control the results of the show, more often than not the "cute one" wins.

The results show itself is starting to show its cracks as well. Seriously, how many "Steven Tyler, Walk This Way" signs do we need?

The rock and roll medley was less than stellar—the beginning of I Love Rock and Roll was too low for Haley, and both Scotty and Stefano screwed up the lyrics to The Letter.

The Ford Music Videos (this week "acted" to KISS' Love Gun) are becoming more irrelevant every week.

Russell Brand as a "charisma coach"? Seriously? Isn't it enough the man is stomping on the ghosts of Dudley Moore and Sir John Gielgud with his Arthur remake?

The first set of results brought out Casey, Lauren and Stefano. Ryan asked Casey if he saw Kelly Clarkson's Facebook post, in which she said "I might have a bit of a crush on Casey on American Idol this season. He's super cute and obviously super talented." Casey played coy (annoyingly), causing Ryan to say that Casey "is not going to be [Kelly's] Justin." (Poor Justin Guarini. Always the punch line.)

Then we were treated to a performance by season 4 contestant Constantine Maroulis, who was recently passed over to reprise his Tony-nominated role in the film version of Rock of Ages. He sang Unchained Melody, which, given his arrangement, was more like Unrecognizable Melody. Seriously, there's "doing your own thing" and then there's this mess. He has a much better voice than he did when he was on the show, but ugh.

Gwen Stefani admitted she's "not a stylist" (really?) and we got to relive the horrors that were last night's female fashions.

Then Ryan promised "no sweet escape" (ooh, a Gwen Stefani pun) for one of the next group of contestants—Paul, Scotty and Pia. Ryan asked Pia if she felt she had the stamina and endurance to become more comfortable on stage every week, which was a crappy question. And then he revealed that Pia was in the bottom three. The judges looked shocked (J.Lo's best acting since Enough) and someone said something the censors didn't like.

We had a very long and unnecessary "media training" session with the contestants and TMZ. Maybe Donald Trump could come on next week and talk about why he believes President Obama wasn't born in the US?

James, Haley and Jacob were up next to find out their results. Mercifully, Jacob's hubris sent him to the bottom three and the silver stools of shame.

Iggy Pop, please put on a shirt. That is all.

Results time. Ryan said that all three contestants "had such an impact on our show this year."

He said to Jacob, "Last night you said if you made it into the bottom three, it wasn't because you sang the song badly, but it was because America was afraid to look itself in the mirror." And then he said, "Jacob, you will be leaving us...and going back to safety on the couch." (I died a little inside, because I knew what was going to happen at that point.)

And then Ryan announced Pia was going home. The judges again were shocked and upset. J.Lo, in tears, said she couldn't understand how it happened. Clearly she forgot that the only contestant she gave any criticism to last night was Pia.

Seriously:

Jacob was "perfect in every way."
Haley "showed she was a contender."
Casey "was where he belonged" and she wanted to be in the front row.
Lauren "did beautifully."
James "showed his emotional side and engaged the audience."
Scotty "was having fun, is funny and has a little flavor."
She knew Stefano "had it in you, baby."
Paul's performance "was the perfect way to end the show."

And Pia? Pia "should study classic performers to learn how to move around the stage better." Again, maybe she wasn't completely comfortable onstage, but she did not deserve to go home before many of the contestants.

This show needs to fix itself. Fast. Again, if this is the search for a cute male singer, let's call it "American Male Idol" and be done with it.

AI Top 9 Recap: It's (Not Quite) Rock and Roll to Me...

It’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Week! Ryan promised us “some of the greatest songs ever” performed by “some of the most dynamic singers and entertainers.” What he didn’t warn us about were heinous crimes of fashion, the incoherent ramblings of Will.i.am, and a world where following your moral convictions means it’s ok to thrust your hips.

But I digress.

Apparently Gwen Stefani dressed the remaining female contestants in her cast-offs L.A.M.B. collection. (Somewhere, you know Naima is praising the Lord she’s missing this.) Now, either Stefani’s clothes look best on Harujuku girls or she’s still bitter that Sanjaya ruined Bathwater in season 6, because these were some hideous clothes.

J.Lo clearly threatened that Gwen better not touch her clothes did her own thing, as she looked fantastic. Randy Jackson broke out his best pleather jacket and Steven’s animal print suit has put him on Bindi Irwin’s most wanted list.

Good news. In addition to Jimmy Iovine, this week the contestants will be “mentored” by Will.i.am, from the Black-Eyed Peas. Now, he isn’t known for his actual singing, mind you, but why focus on the negative?

Jacob was first up. He started out singing Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get it On (I’ll admit I threw up a little in my mouth when I heard that) and we got a taste of the caterwauling to come. Jimmy promised “an explosion of babies born nine months after this performance” (gross) if he did it right. Then, suddenly, Jacob felt like the song wasn’t right for him and who he is, so instead he chose to sing Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror, which Kris Allen did so well in Season 8. Jimmy and Will (I am not typing the name with the periods over and over again) were surprised, but praised him for sticking by his decision. Then, in one of the most outright displays of hubris I’ve ever seen, Jacob said, “If I make bottom three, it won’t be because I sang the song bad, or sang the song wrong. It’s because America isn’t ready to look themselves in the mirror.” Dude, you’re a contestant on a singing competition. Regardless of what the judges have told (and will tell) you, you are not the second coming of Luther Vandross. There have certainly been contestants on this show with huge egos (cough, Casey, cough) but this was ridiculous.

Dressed like a Good Humor man or a surgeon just reporting to work (white vest, white shirt, white pants, silver shoes), his performance was slightly less histrionic but not in any way different than the original. Siedah Garrett, who wrote the song with Glen Ballard, sang backup, and Jacob proceeded to thrust his hips nearly against her several times. All in all, it was just meh. But the judges didn’t care. After telling him “Every time you sing you bring another piece of you to the party,” (guess which judge said that), and that the performance was “perfect in every way” (seriously), the judges spent the rest of their critique time telling Jacob he was proof that “if you believe in yourself you can succeed.” Randy told Jacob he was so proud he stood by his “moral convictions” and chose a song he felt more comfortable doing, and ended with “Dude, that was hot!” (Far be it from me to quibble, but I think Mother Teresa had moral convictions. Choosing a Michael Jackson song instead of a Marvin Gaye song doesn’t show moral convictions.)

When they announced that Haley was singing Janis Joplin, I figured she’d break out Piece of My Heart, and I was right. Given that the judges keeping throwing Janis at her, I was glad to see she threw it back at them, although I wish she would have picked something a little less obvious. (In seasons past, the song has been performed by Candice Coleman in season 2 (check out how Ryan used to dress on the show), Carrie Underwood and Asia’h Epperson in season 7.) In one of his few coherent pieces of advice, Will told Haley that she “sounds like an artist” but the song had no feeling. He encouraged her to sing the song to the boyfriend that did her wrong. I thought she did a great job, with some terrific runs toward the end, and she seemed a little less awkward on stage. I’d like her to dial back the growl just a little sometimes, because her voice is great by itself, but I’m glad to see her do well. J.Lo told Haley that she was off to a strong start and showed that she’s a true contender, and then said that she should “be around for a minute.” (I’m sure that’s cool person talk, right?) Randy praised himself for calling out Janis Joplin and said, “Yo, look at Haley go! Welcome back back back!” Steven said he “couldn’t find nothing wrong with it” and told her she brought back Janis Joplin for him.

After Casey’s subdued performance last week, he planned to sing The Police’s Every Little Thing She Does (is Magic) but then decided he couldn’t give it more than 80 percent, so he went with CCR’s Have You Ever Seen the Rain?. Upright bass, well, in hand, I thought he did a really good job, accompanied by the rain graphics that Naima used for her performance of Umbrella a few weeks back. I like Casey’s voice and I felt that, to use a Randy phrase we’ll hear a few times, “while I wasn’t jumping out of my chair (or off my couch, really),” I enjoyed his performance. Speaking of the Dawg, he told Casey he did “well justice” to the “great song by John Fogerty and CCR.” And then he got on a tangent where he told Casey he was making the upright bass cool (did you know Randy played the upright bass?) and kept saying Casey was “revolutionary.” Steven called Casey a true musician, and J.Lo said “This is where you belong, and I’m paying top dollar to sit in the front row.”

Lauren chose to sing Aretha Franklin’s (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman, also known as the song that sold me on Kelly Clarkson. Lauren was the biggest victim of Gwen Stefani’s “fashion advice,” as she was wearing really ill-fitting shorts(!) in a black-and-white check pattern with a jacket that didn’t quite fit. And the hair. Lord have mercy. But anyway, Jimmy and Will told Lauren this song would be a “natural” for her, as the marriage of country and soul (which Will dubbed “countroul”) is a beautiful one. Lauren said she’s been getting her confidence back, week after week, and soon her personality will come out in full force. (Wait, this is Lauren at half-strength?) It was good but not great. I don’t know if it was the outfit or something else, but Lauren seemed a bit off, especially after her brilliant performance last week. She has a great voice, and you heard that in pieces, but I feel overall she missed her target. Steven called her “a natural-born woman,” while Randy said she did a good job, although he “wasn’t jumping out of his chair.” (His pleather jacket could create sparks.) He also said that “people on the show in previous years have done better.”

Leading into commercials, along with a cheering Christian Slater (plugging his new show), Ryan promised “a very different James Durbin.” James decided to take it down a few notches and sing George Harrison’s While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Will and Jimmy cautioned James about singing a ballad on a “rocking” week like this one (Jimmy warned it could turn into “While My Guitar Gently Sleeps”), but James felt it was important to show a different side of him. Watching James perform I realized that to sit still on a stool and sing quietly must be pretty tough for someone with Tourette’s and Asperger’s, which is probably one reason he tends to favor the more manic performances. While I thought (sacrilege) the song was a little sleepy, he hit (and held) a phenomenal note toward the end of the song. I just love watching him every week and the joy he obviously feels when singing. His performance made him cry, and it unhinged J.Lo, who told him, “You showed us that thing, that place, that dimension. We needed to see your emotional side and get engaged.” Randy praised him for the chances he took as an artist and said, “good job, dawg!” James started explaining that he was emotional because of his family, and said something about working on this song for five years, and it sort of drifted off. And then there was this weird encounter between Ryan and the judges (Randy asked him “How are the balls of your feet?” while Steven asked if he was wearing deodorant), which reminds me that the producers haven’t told the judges the show isn’t about them.

As revealed in a previous show, Scotty’s childhood idol was Elvis, so he chose to sing That’s All Right, Mama. He promised “not just country Scotty.” Vocally, the song was very good, but I feel his performances are still a bit strange. He combined his nearly-trademark lean-and-point with some hip hop-influenced hand motions (which J.Lo called him out on), but it was definitely an upbeat performance. And then a group of girls were bribed by Nigel Lythgoe to run ran onstage to hug Scotty and squeal, while Ryan pretended he didn’t know what was going on. A far cry from when they called security after a fan came onstage during season 1 and gave Kelly Clarkson a flower. Randy said that Scotty proved he wasn’t a one-trick pony and showed everyone a “new Scotty.” (Really?) Oh, and “Scotty is in it to win it!” J.Lo told Scotty he looked like he was having fun, and despite the hand motions, showed “a little bit of flavor.” I think he’s super-talented but don’t think he’s done one truly different performance ever.

Ryan spent a little time chatting up Christian Slater, who pretended he was a fan of the show plugged his new show, which was airing after AI. And Christian’s daughter is rooting for Pia (and Lauren), so, coincidentally, Pia came next!

Pia made good on her promise to sing an up-tempo song this week, choosing Tina Turner’s River Deep, Mountain High. (Of course, Celine sang this, too. Just sayin’.) Jimmy told her to “get pissed off” and show the judges how well she could do. Her black-and-white jumpsuit reminded me of a cow, and she wore a necklace of coils I swear I’ve seen in an issue of National Geographic (no disrespect intended). Vocally, I felt Pia was again at the top of her game, but I felt like she wasn’t truly comfortable moving around onstage. Of course, the killer stilettos she was wearing probably didn’t help. But she just seemed a little awkward, although, as a friend of mine mentioned this morning, Carrie Underwood had little-if-any stage presence in her season, and look at her now. Steven started his critique by screaming, “Murderer! You killed it!” He then told Pia that “there are a million guys in a million bars having a million drinks over you tonight.” J.Lo told Pia that she really liked it and thought vocally it was “beyond excellent,” but encouraged her to watch and study classic performances to get more comfortable moving around. Randy agreed with her, although he made sure Pia knew he wasn’t criticizing her when he said he wanted her to sing an up-tempo song every now and again. While I don’t think J.Lo is wrong in her advice, I feel like they hold Pia to a different standard than other contestants. If Jacob’s performance was “perfect in every way” and Scotty is “in it to win it,” Pia deserves more praise than she’s getting.

Todd Rundgren was introduced, and then it was Stefano’s turn. (Does Ryan’s exaggerated fake-Italian accent whenever he says “Stefano” bother anyone else? It’s not like he’s first-generation American.) Stefano decided to massacre Percy Sledge’s When a Man Loves a Woman. (Sadly, years and years later, I still can’t get Michael Bolton’s version of this song out of my head.) He started out sitting on the stairs in a lone spotlight, and sang the first few bars in a warbly falsetto, and then broke into full-on Stefano, beating every note into submission. His enunciation was much better this time, but I didn’t feel any of the emotional connection J.Lo said she did. Randy called the first part of the song “jerky,” and said that Stefano doesn’t always have to counterpunch vocally, but should let the melody marinate a bit before ripping it to shreds. (Maybe I paraphrased a little.) Because Randy spoke the truth on this performance, J.Lo and Steven tried to shush him. Steven said he liked where Stefano took the song, although he hoped he had taken it farther.

Paul got to close the show, selecting Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison Blues. (I get so excited when a contestant performs a song that has never been sung on the show.) Jimmy told him to sing it like he’s “out of [his] f—king mind.” I think we got a hybrid of fun Paul and crazy Paul on this song. He threw in some gravelly notes and some terrific showmanship, although it was a little off-putting to see his pearly whites grinning while singing “I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.” But I think with a group of musicians, behind a guitar, Paul is in his comfort zone. Short on time, Randy said “Three words: I LOVED IT!” Steven called Paul his “perfect imperfect boy” and said he rocked the house, and J.Lo concurred, saying it was the perfect way to end the show. And then Ryan decided to end his part of the show in manic Paul style, which involved his jumping up and down as if on a pogo stick.

All in all, I felt this show was very good and while I have my bottom three, I have no idea what the voters will do.

Who should be in the bottom three: Jacob, Lauren, Stefano
Who will be in the bottom three: Stefano, Lauren, Haley (I just don’t know if the voters are as tired of Jacob as I am. Paul, despite not deserving it, could wind up here too.)

Should be interesting. Hopefully not painfully shocking.

Musical Nostalgia: "In These Shoes" by Kirsty MacColl

Kirsty MacColl was a fantastic English singer-songwriter who may be best known for performing with The Smiths and The Pogues, particularly on Fairytale of New York. While she never reached the acclaim she was truly worthy of, she did receive a great deal of critical praise for some of her albums.

Her last album, Tropical Brainstorm, released in 2000, was shaping up to be her most critically successful, and one of the songs, In These Shoes, was getting airplay in the US. (Bette Midler would later cover the song, and it also would be played in Sex and the City and the film Kinky Boots.)

While on vacation in Cozumel, Mexico, in 2000, MacColl tried to save one of her sons from being run down by a speeding boat, when she was killed. Sadly, the world will never get a true picture of her talent, but thanks to the magic of YouTube, her music does live on.

I don't know what got me thinking of In These Shoes recently, but it's a terrific song. It has some terrific lyrics, so enjoy MacColl's live performance.