AI Recap: (Women) Run the World

So I'll admit I've scoffed inwardly—and outwardly—every time one of the judges or Ryan says something about how this is the "girls' season" and how strong the women are versus the guys. But while the show wouldn't know subtlety if it joined the judges panel, after last night's performances, they may actually be right, without manipulation. And while there were arguably seven or eight (depending on your preferences) contestants who did well last night, it will be interesting to see who makes it into the top 10, and who has to rely on the (you know they're coming) wild cards.

Was it part of Mariah's contract that all signs shown from the audience were about her? I counted at least four, including "Mariah is the #1 Idol." Take that, Nicki.

First out of the gate, sporting a brown-auburn wig this week (girlfriend changes her hair more than Nicki Minaj), was last week's "Queen of the Jungle," Zoanette. While she looked almost normal during her pre-taped intro, on stage she was sporting a pair of short shorts that were just wrong. And her rendition of Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do With It (which Lil Rounds sang in Season 8, as did Season 9 semi-finalist Todrick Hall, and Season 10's Naima Adedapo) was nothing short of the train wreck I expected from her last week. She completely made up the lyrics for the first two verses, bounced all over the place, and hit more wonky notes than good ones. To quote Nicki from last week, "Honey child, hell no." Keith called her "theatrical" (gee, you think), and the best he could do was praise her confidence, joy, and exhibitionism. Nicki said she'd always tell Zoanette the truth, and "that wasn't it." She talked about how "regular people" might want her to be on key for the song and might not have liked her performance, although she's still rooting for her. Despite the fact that she's a "spirit leader," Randy called the performance "a mess, babe," and Mariah praised the energy and love that Zoanette gives others, and the fact that she's overcome such struggle (her family left Liberia when she was two—she didn't crawl out on her belly amidst gunfire), and also called her "a bundle of festivities." Oh, yeah, the performance wasn't Mariah's favorite, either.

I love when Ryan has girl talk with the contestants. When he asked Zoanette about her wig and admitted, "I'm no stranger to wefting," it was priceless.

Beautiful and "marketable" Breanna sang Beyonce's Flaws and All, which I'd never heard before. She really has a great ability for choosing songs that show off what her voice can do, but I don't know if this was showy enough to make a lasting impression, given that she sang second and was followed by a lot of bigger performances. But I actually get what the judges said last week about her being a total pop star. Keith praised her song choice, as it shows who she is as a singer, but he wished she could "find a song that takes you into your own place." Nicki totally disagreed, calling it the wrong song and saying that she thought Breanna was straining. She also said she had a "sneaky suspicion" it wouldn't be enough to move her into the top five. Randy said he agreed with himself, calling her song choice "safe" because (surprise) it "didn't have enough moments," but said it felt like it was the eighth or tenth song she'd sing at her concert, just before the finale. Which is something Mariah totally does, yo, as she admitted she does more well-known songs up front and then gives her audiences more "intimate moments" before the finale. Oh, wait, this was about Breanna. She called the song choice "unique," as well as "lyrically raw, simplistic, and real," and said that Breanna's whole package says star quality. Ryan asked Breanna if she was singing the song to anyone, and she admitted it was for "someone special," which caused her mother in the audience to shake her head and say, "No." Hee.

One marketable contestant was followed by another, as it was beautiful Aubrey's turn next. She promised to "show her personality" in her pre-performance banter with Ryan, so she sang Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry, previously trotted out by Season 9's Katie Stevens. It was good and I really like her, but again, she doesn't wow me like some of the other contestants did, although she's another one I could totally see hitting it big. Keith said that Aubrey's vibrato was so beautiful, but he wished she "could soar more" vocally. Nicki, too, loved the vibrato, as well as her humility, because Aubrey is so beautiful yet doesn't act like she knows that's the case. Randy called her "current and infectious," said that Aubrey gives him a Rihanna vibe in her softer moments. Mariah praised her "multi-platinum potential" and told her she could be a big star in the industry.

Janelle talked about how tough last week was, when she should have been was nearly eliminated, and she learned that "one performance makes a difference." (Not when you're one of the chosen ones, sugar.) She sang Elvis' If I Can Dream, which Elliott Yamin took on in Season 5. She sounded almost Jewel-esque, and while I still don't quite think she's at the level of some of the other contestants (especially Kree), I didn't hate it, although some of the bigger notes were wobbly. Keith praised her "classic country voice blended with modern country runs," whatever that meant. Nicki called Janelle "a little marshmallow I want to eat" (what is this woman smoking during commercial breaks?), said it was the best vocal of the night to that point, and said she wanted some "good old country producers and writers to get a hold of you," because "the sky's the limit." Randy liked her "modern throwback sound," calling her a "modern Patsy Cline," while Mariah had nothing to say about the vocal but praised her "America's Sweetheart type of thing." Never one to shy away from camp, Ryan said, "If you want s'more of little marshmallow Janelle..."

Camp Mariah's own Tenna listened (sort of) to Nicki's advice about her hair but of course, didn't shave it off. She sang Faith Hill's Lost, and like last week, I really liked some of her phrasing and intonation choices, but it wasn't ultimately memorable for me. In a season they weren't cutting it to five girls, I think she could have a chance, but I don't see it here unless the judges help her along a bit. Keith said she did a really good job, but cautioned her not to let the camera pull her emotion, because her performance became "a little cabaret" when the camera was on her. Nicki liked Tenna's hair this week, and her boobs, which caused Randy to sputter and pretend he was shocked, so Nicki retorted, "Shut up, Randy, you goody two shoes." Despite all of that, Nicki worried that Tenna's personality doesn't jump out at the audience. Mariah praised her little protegé's power register, as well as the fullness and richness of her voice. She said, "I love you and I hope America loves you, too." (Mariah was unamused when Ryan quipped, "Both Nicki and Mariah like your fullness, Tenna.")

Our favorite original songstress, Angie, decided to take to the piano this week and sing Never Gone, by last season's Colton Dixon. It was a pretty shrewd song choice, as she was sending a message that she's down with the Christian rock thing, too. I thought she was pretty fantastic—I love her voice and the way she shifts between bombastic and softer moments. If the judges don't overpraise her every week, she's going pretty far. Keith serenaded her with a brief snippet of Angie, and then told her that when she plays the piano she sounds her truest. Nicki said that "trumpets should sound when you walk in the room," and said, "Nigel, Mike Darnell, can I just have her album already? I want an acoustic album." She also said "one vote of the top five has already been taken." (Careful when you assume, Nicki. I'm willing to bet the judges thought Joshua Ledet would win last season.) Randy proclaimed, "America, a star is born," and then said, "This Angie girl is going places." He called her "the right thing in the right way." Never one to let a dead horse go unbeaten, Mariah once again praised Angie's original song from weeks ago, but said she was blown away.

Amber didn't wow me last week, but she certainly did this week. Singing Whitney Houston's I Believe in You and Me, which Jennifer Hudson sang in Season 3's wildcard round, Melinda Doolittle sang in Season 6, and Erika Van Pelt sang last season, she made the song look almost effortless. Her range was terrific, as was her control and power, but if I could change anything, I wish that she had actually held some of the notes, as it almost seemed rushed. All four judges gave her a standing ovation, and Keith called it a perfect song, although he said he wished (wait for it) "I could have heard you hold a few notes, because there were a lot of runs." (I swear I wrote my comments down before Keith said them.) Nicki called it a "10 billion quatrillion madillion" and said her vocals have surpassed anyone else's in the competition. Randy said, "I do believe, y'all, Amber is in it to win it! That girl believes!" Mariah said she had been waiting for Amber to sing all night, and said that she didn't "take on" Whitney Houston (a word choice used by Ryan and Nicki), but "paid homage" to her, and "sang your behind off." Ryan called her performance "one of those great moments we like to see." (Wait, who asked him?)

Have I mentioned how much I love Kree? She sang Faith Hill's Stronger, and was absolutely amazing. She reminds me of a less unorthodox Crystal Bowersox, in her effortless, natural talent, although Kree has a huge vocal range. Keith gave her a standing ovation and said he loves to hear her sing. He proved his musical mettle by praising Kree's ability that she hit an F-sharp above high C when singing a song that's in the key of B (hey, just be impressed I was able to record that), and told Kree that she fits in with country vocalists Patsy Cline, Martina McBride, Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, and Trisha Yearwood. Nicki said, "You already know you're my wife," and told her "your sexiness went up another level." Kree showed her playful side by saying, "I'm just trying to do my wife proud." Randy was befuddled by the talk of betrothal, but called Kree "another one that's in it to win it!" He said he is learning, listening to her sing, and that while he agrees with Keith that her voice belongs with other country greats, she can sing anything. "How can you top that," Mariah asked. She said she loves the "undeniable thing you have." I just hope people love her personality enough not to pass her over for some of the showier contestants, because in the battle of the country singers she slays Janelle hands down.

Our pint-sized Alaskan cutie, Adriana, sang Destiny's Child's Stand Up for Love. I liked it but know she could have done more with the song, although she did power through some big notes. I think she was expecting the judges to react better to her performance. (I was, too, honestly.) Keith said it took her too long to show off her vocal power. Nicki said that after Angie, Amber, and Kree, she should "work a little bit and come back next year." (Can she at this point? I don't think so.) She said that Adriana didn't connect at the beginning of the song, and called the performance "pageanty." (I guess "pageanty" is the female "theatrical.") Randy also called it safe and pageanty, and said, "You needed to slay it and you didn't." Mariah was literally unintelligible in her quest not to parrot Nicki's comments. She called the song, "a traditional song you would hear at a big event — and this is a big event — but I wish you had chosen something less overproduced." (Meaning, "It was pageanty.")

Candice closed the show, and in addition to her amazing vocals, I just love the confidence she brings to her performances. She absolutely slayed John Legend's Ordinary People, and Keith, Randy, and Mariah gave her a standing ovation. The judges were in a hurry, so Keith could only call her performance, "superb, so now, so current," while Nicki simply saluted her. "That's my comment," she proclaimed. Randy called the performance "ridiculous," because "you sang notes no one understands," and told her she has one of the best voices in the entire competition. Mariah thanked Candice for sharing her gift with us. I just hope that her confidence doesn't translate to, or turn into, cockiness.

All in all, it was an impressive show. Four of the five slots seem like locks to me, while the fifth can go to several contestants. I just hope that the whole Zoanette farce ends Thursday night, although I have a feeling that unless someone stronger gets left out, the judges will give her a wild card.

My Top Five:
Kree
Candice
Amber
Angie
Janelle

What Could Happen:
Candice
Amber
Angie
Kree
Aubrey or Janelle or Breanna

Let's hope the guys surprise tonight, too. Let's just say my expectations range somewhere between "unlikely" and "why do I have to watch this?"

Book Review: "Ghostman" by Roger Hobbs

"I am physically average in every respect. I suppose that's my talent and always has been. It's the one thing I've ever been good at...I have never been fingerprinted. I have never been arrested or detained. I don't have a real Social Security number, driver's license, or passport. My bank account is a ten-digit number with no name on it in some computer in the South Pacific, which I'll never visit. I'd burned the only copy of my high school records right after I graduated."

So says the narrator of Roger Hobbs' great new novel, Ghostman, a person who is sometimes named Jack. "Jack" is a ghostman in criminal parlance, a person who can assume nearly any identity flawlessly, blend in with whatever crowds necessary, do what must be done, and change his appearance again. He's been involved in the world of heists and scores for a while now, and no one knows his real name or what he looks like. In fact, no one knows how to reach him directly—a person trying to contact him has their email bounced from server to server all over the world before he receives the message.

With all of that subterfuge, it's more than a surprise when he hears from the man who masterminded the only heist he was involved in that went horribly wrong—and it was Jack's fault. This time, his old contact is looking for Jack to square his debt. Two men held up an armored truck in the midst of delivering a Federal Reserve payload to an Atlantic City casino. It was supposed to be a foolproof plan, yet once the smoke cleared, one of the robbers is dead, and the other is in the wind, with $1.2 million in stolen money in tow. And there's one other tiny problem—because this cash came from the Federal Reserve, it's going to blow up in less than 48 hours unless it's returned to the authorities.

Jack finds himself en route to Atlantic City from Seattle in a million dollar private plane, and from the moment he lands, he has one task—find the money before it literally explodes, causing trouble for the man who masterminded the robbery. But Jack has a mind of his own, and his independent streak takes him to the heart of a war between two dangerous and powerful men, and somehow there's a dogged FBI agent on his trail, even though he really has no way of leaving a trail. It's a tense, action-packed two days ahead, and Jack must keep his wits and his skills about him at all times.

Ghostman follows Jack's hunt for the money and the missing perpetrator, and his efforts to outsmart and outlast everyone. His motives are much simpler than anyone would expect, which makes him a loose cannon. And as the story unfolds, it is interspersed with Jack's reflecting on the one heist that went wrong, which has put him in the middle of the fray in Atlantic City.

I really enjoyed this book and think Jack is a tremendously intriguing character who reminds me a little bit of Lee Child's Jack Reacher (although a slightly more cerebral version). The opening scenes—and a number of the battles he has in the book—read like a movie, like they're unfolding in front of your eyes. Even though some of the characters may be a little stereotypical—the dogged yet beautiful FBI agent, the thugs with neo-Nazi and prison tattoos—it didn't damper my enjoyment of the book and my desire to see just exactly how Hobbs would tie everything up.

If you're a fan of crime novels, definitely pick this one up. You'll find yourself hooked pretty quickly, and all you'll wish for is enough free time to read it from start to finish.

Hey! I am your father...

For the Schoolhouse Rock fans, and the fans of Star Wars (and those of us who love both), here's a terrific mash-up of the classic "Interjections" (which mean excitement, or emotion...) and the classic trilogy.

Enjoy...and may the laughs be with you! (Sorry, that was a little Mel Brooks-ian...)

AI Recap: White Guy with Guitar Problem? Done.

Is it just me, or do you hear the theme from Jaws, which they so awesomely played during the Oscars to make people stop talking? Do you see, as Jimmy Buffett likes to say, fins to the left and fins to the right? I do, because if it hadn't happened before, this show is officially about to jump that proverbial shark.

Last week, after writing my recap of the first group of male singers to perform, I questioned whether the producers—whose ability to manipulate things could make Dick Cheney feel emasculated—would ensure that no male with a chance of winning would be advanced into the top 10. In fact, I even wondered whether more talented male singers were kept out of the top 20. And after watching last night's show, my suspicions are confirmed. Or, on the outside chance that the assembled group was the best the show could muster, let's make it an all-female show next season, because apparently all of the talented guys have gone to The Voice or The X-Factor.

Entertainer/choreographer Mathenee Trico, who was cut during Vegas week last season, kicked off the evening with a strange performance of Elvis Presley's A Little Less Conversation. His phrasing was interesting, and I don't know if that's partially because of the Bahamian influences in his speech patterns, or whether he thought it might work. (It didn't.) He also tried for a lot of notes that he couldn't quite reach. Ultimately, I know that Mathenee's performance didn't outshine Chris Daughtry's performance in Season 4 (despite the screechy ending), and there's no video proof of Jon Peter Lewis' hammy version from Season 3. Keith said that Mathenee has a huge vocal range and immense power, but (using the exact words he did with the first guy to perform last week) he cautioned him not to "underestimate the power of your voice" when entertaining, because the vocal was almost "assaulting." Nicki (using the fake British accent of her "Roman" persona) called the performance "cheesy and karaoke," while Randy said the song choice made him question what kind of singer Mathenee is. (Umm, a not particularly good one, at least in this case.) Mariah always liked Mathenee, don't you know, and said the duality of his being an entertainer and a singer gave him trouble. Also, she said she didn't know this song(!) so it left her feeling disconnected. (Props to Keith for nearly bursting out laughing when she said this.)

The self-named "Turbinator," Gurpreet Singh Sarin, resplendent in a bright yellow vest and pants, was unimpressive in every way with his rendition of James Morrison's Every Hurt Like You. It was out of tune, boring, and just plain bad. Keith told Gurpreet he liked his earlier performances better, when he played the acoustic guitar and sang. Nicki—who called him "Turb"—said he should have come out with his guitar, because "today was not the day to take a chance like this." (Of course, if he came out with his acoustic guitar, I'd guarantee at least one judge would have criticized him for doing the same thing all the time, but that's the ridiculous inconsistency of this show.) She ended her critique by saying, "Honey child, hell no." (Nice respect there.) Randy said it was terrible, and Mariah expressed disappointment she didn't get to hear the softer side of his voice, then asked him if he played sitar. (Because I guess all Indian people must, right, Mariah?) All throughout the judges' feedback, Gurpreet literally begged for them to put him through. It was a little desperate, even for this show.

Vincent Powell looks a little like Cee-Loo Green in the face and looks older than 29, but maybe it's his glasses. He apparently has been a backup singer for Whitney Houston and Latoya Luckett. He sang Lenny Williams' Because I Love You, a song I've never heard before. He's really talented and has a great vocal range, but I found the performance a little too showy and overdone, kind of like Curtis' performance last week. Keith, Randy, and Mariah gave him a standing ovation. Nicki told him, "You better work with your old soul," and while she said his performance was "good old-fashioned," she also called it "sexy old-fashioned," and said that she could picture "50- or 40-year-olds throwing their panties at you." She also added (ick), "That hit me somewhere." (Add that to the list of things I never need to hear again.) Randy said that the show started with Vincent's performance and called him the whole complete package. He then did his whole "look what I know about the music business" thing, saying, "You, like Miguel and Frank Ocean, are doing the D'Angelo thing." Oh yeah, and it was the debut of "This boy is in it to win it!" Mariah simply said, "Finally." (She's clearly not being paid by the word.)

Producers: stop trying to make the show all about Zoanette. Too much of her is too much. Watching her jump around, Ryan's conversation just with her, is all unnecessary.

My hopes for Nick Boddington to knock it out of the park quickly dissipated when he started singing a somewhat tepid version of James Morrison's Say Something Now. I love his voice but his performance was boring. Keith praised the timbre in his voice but said he was waiting to feel connected to him as a person, and encouraged Nick not to be afraid to show his heart. "Hello, Bodding," Nicki said. She told Nick she loved his voice, although she said the performance wasn't a 10, nor was it his best. Randy told Nick he knew he was "up to it" but didn't think the song was a good choice, as it didn't have any of Randy's precious "moments". Mariah claimed she heard one moment, and called him "consistent, raw, and nice." She also praised Nick for the way he was going about his career.

Josh Holiday—he who split his pants singing for his life to get into the top 20—sat behind the piano (at least for a little while) and sang an original song I'm guessing was called Better with You. (I nearly killed myself after googling every permutation of the lyrics to figure out what song he was singing, only to find out it was original.) As a song, it was a little treacly, but I like his voice and his range, although the last note was wonky with a capital "w." Keith said he wished Josh had cut loose a little more and was waiting for the moment he did. He said, "It might not be skillful to cut loose, but I don't give a rat's about skillful, I want to see your heart." Nicki said she wished Josh had stayed on the piano, because when he stood up to sing it seemed like he was trying too hard to please the judges. Randy said that singing his own song was a big risk, and he wasn't wowed. Mariah loves that Josh is a singer/songwriter but wasn't wowed either.

David Oliver Willis (cool name) took the stage with an acoustic guitar-driven, up-tempo version of Fever, which Paris Bennett sang in Season 5, top 20 contestant Nick Pedro sang in Season 6, and Syesha Mercado sang in Season 7. To coin a Randy phrase (Lord help me), I wasn't blown away, but I liked that he did something different, and I thought his voice has some great potential. Keith didn't think it was the right song to show off his voice, as Keith thought that David's "Dobie Gray/Michael Kiwanuka/Gary Clark Jr. vibe" was a good one. Nicki asked if David was married, and when he introduced his wife, she loudly shouted, "Hello, wife," and then told David he sounded like a kid who had just gotten a guitar for Christmas. (Not only doesn't the show want a white guy who plays guitar to be a possible contender this season, they don't want a black guy with a guitar either.) Randy liked David's "bluesy side" (and also dropped the Gary Clark Jr. reference), and Mariah said she was intrigued by David's back story (ok...), but had heard him "vocally a bit more" in earlier performances.

Bryant Tadeo is a perfectly pleasant-looking guy from the big island of Hawaii, who sang Billy Joel's New York State of Mind (an odd song choice, as far as I was concerned), previously performed by Kimberley Locke in Season 2 and the woefully under-appreciated Erika Van Pelt last season. His hand motions and expressions were cheesy, but I thought he had an interesting slightly higher voice that was good. Nicki said that apart from the last run, and the high note he sang at the end, she didn't like the performance at all, while Randy said he loved the beginning of the performance but kept waiting for the song to go somewhere. Mariah said he sounded "professional" (umm, wait, isn't that a good thing?), but said he got a little bit lost throughout the performance. Aloha, Bryant.

While top 10 finalist Breanna Steer's family was affected by Hurricane Isaac, Burnell Taylor's family was affected by Hurricane Katrina. Oh, and he's lost 40 pounds since his audition. He looked like Jaleel White's Steve Urkel character from the television show Family Matters, complete with bow tie. Burnell sang John Legend's This Time, and while I like his voice and his intonation, I found his performance to be a pale imitation of Legend's, even with some of the same vocal tone. Nicki gave him a standing ovation. Keith reminded us that Burnell had blown the judges away in his audition when he sang I'm Here from the Broadway musical The Color Purple, and said that Burnell is here to stay. Nicki said she would pay to see Burnell sing today. She praised him for losing weight, saying it was "the spirit of Katrina he was able to get off his shoulders," and that she "knows what it's like when your family is counting on you." She called his performance the best of the night. Randy did the whole Louisiana thing again, also praised Burnell for losing weight, and said he did justice to the song.

I had heard some of the news coverage about Lazaro Arbos, how his stutter is so bad but it mostly disappears when he sings. I was moved when he said that he works in an ice cream shop because "it's the only job where I don't have to do smart people things like talk." He sang Keith Urban's Tonight I Wanna Cry, which top 10 contestant Paul Jolley sang last week. (And it makes me wonder just how many song choices they really do have.) Lazaro's voice has a gorgeous tone but he had some issues with breath control, which I'm guessing was a combination of nerves and the stuttering. Keith told him that "his spirit burns through the vocals." Nicki spoke Spanish to him (she asked what's up with him), and praised him for "always giving us Lazaro," saying that he played it safe in a good way. Randy said that while there were some notes that weren't perfect, "every time you hit the chorus, you found the sweet spot in your voice." Mariah said that at the start of the performance she saw Lazaro start to well up, and she worried she'd become an emotional mess. (Because it's all about how Mariah feels, don't you know.) She praised the purity and simplicity of his voice.

Explain this to me, though: they praised Burnell for "overcoming the obstacle" of losing 40 pounds, and they gave Lazaro no props for singing through a stutter? This kid's job prospects are limited, as is his confidence, but it's less worthy of mention than Burnell's inability to find clothes in his size? I find this show so befuddling sometimes.

Cortez Shaw closed the show by mangling David Guetta and Sia's Titanium. Seriously, he hit some notes that I worried might send my dog into a frenzy. He definitely has star quality but honestly, that's about it. Keith called the song choice a bold and brave move, and said that there were a lot of spots where his voice went wrong, but said he found "redemption" in the last high note. Nicki asked, "Is it hot in here, or just me?" Randy mentioned Cortez's pitch issues but said the last notes were great, and called him a "current, very interesting" artist. (Why have all the people deemed "marketable" not had strong voices?) Mariah babbled but said, "Nothing's gonna be perfect." (That's okay only if you're one of the pre-chosen ones.)

Judges' decisions were next. Ryan asked Mariah, "Did you have any clashes?" Apparently the word "clashes" isn't in Mariah's dictionary because she just gave him a blank stare until he rephrased his question. Oh, and Randy told one of the contestants, "It's been tough on us as judges." Cry me a river, Dawg. (Oh, and as an aside, I have hated the way every contestant has to hug all four judges after every decision. I kind of liked when the contestants weren't allowed to approach the judges' table.)

David, his wife and his guitar were sent packing, and it was aloha time for Bryant. Unsurprisingly, Vincent made it through. Mathenee was sent back to the Bahamas, then Lazaro and Cortez(!) made it through. Josh was too good looking to be in the top 10, so he was sent home, and the much lighter Burnell was sent packing. Which left us with Gurpreet and Nick. I couldn't imagine they'd let Gurpreet go through, and they didn't, so Nick has one more shot at redemption.

Our top 10 guys are:

Paul "Theatrical" Jolley
Devin "En Español También" Velez
Elijah "Nicki's Baby Daddy" Liu
Charlie "Awkward Turtle" Askew
Curtis "Second Coming of Jacob Lusk?" Finch Jr.
Vincent "Cee-Lo" Powell
Nick "No Chance" Boddington
Lazaro "Better Cut Him Quick or He Could Win This Thing" Arbos
Burnell "Urkel" Taylor
Cortez "Dog Whistler" Shaw

I just don't know if I'm going to be able to make it through the season, but we'll see...

AI Recap: The Perks of Being Marketable...

It's Week 2 of the "sudden death" rounds, when the judges already have their list of people who are going to make it and just go through the motions of humoring the contestants listen to 10 singers in a group and then have to make "brutal" cuts to send only five to the top 20. Honestly, next year, why don't we divide the singers into two groups: The Chosen Ones, and Talented Cannon Fodder?

Watching the introductions of the contestants, I swear that Zoanette looks like a reject from RuPaul's Drag Race. Man, oh man.

First up was 19-year-old Melinda Ademi, an emigree from Kosovo who auditioned in Season 10. She sang Nobody's Perfect by Jessie J (the same song Angela Miller sang last week), and it was far from perfect. I could tell what she was trying to accomplish, and her voice has a nice smoky tone, but I thought she sounded shouty and hoarse. Keith said it sounded as if her nerves got on top of her, but praised her raw potential and talent. Nicki trotted out her whole "ladybug" thing again, and said the whole time Melinda was singing, she was remembering Angela's performance last week. (Ironically, following Angela's performance last week, all Nicki could talk about was the original song she performed the week before, but I'll bet these judges aren't counting on someone actually writing down their words.) She said she liked it, but didn't love it, and chided her for singing two Jessie J songs over the course of the competition. Randy was unimpressed, while Mariah noted she heard a "waver" in Melinda's voice, and wished her all the best of luck in the competition, an affectation she repeated several times.

Candice Glover who was inexplicably cut during Vegas Week last season (watch her group number from Vegas last season and see what I mean by "inexplicably"), looks facially a little like Queen Latifah, and certainly could be considered an early favorite. She sang Aretha's (You Make Me Feel) Like a Natural Woman, a song that, in my opinion, will never be sung better than the way Kelly Clarkson did during the show's first season. Candice did a great job in parts of the song, a good job in others, but she definitely is one of the strongest vocalists in the competition. Keith gave her a standing ovation, and then serenaded her, telling her that the way she sings proves she is a "natural singer." Nicki said Candice was definitely born to sing, called her voice one of the strongest in the competition, and said that her confidence sets her apart. She also wondered how Candice could have been cut last season, and Randy explained, "It was a different time." (Which is Dawg for "We had a different agenda.") He said that Candice is one of his favorite contestants but said her performance, while good, wasn't the best she's done on the show. He encouraged her to go for it vocally, to "do things only you can do." Mariah called Candice a "bona fide singer," but interrogated her as to whether she was responsible for the arrangement and some of the notes she hit. Whatever, Mariah.

Fifteen-year-old Juliana Chahayed is an absolutely adorable girl, who comes from a musical family where every one of her siblings plays instruments and/or sings, and her father sings in both Arabic and English. She went acoustic, playing the guitar and singing a mellow, ethereal version of Demi Lovato's Skyscraper. Her voice has a little bit of Jewel in it, a little Imogene Heap, a little of a lot of those wispy-voiced troubadours popular now. Her voice wavered a little but I found it rich and tremendously unique, and loved her intonation. But the judges were not listening because they already had their minds made up hearing something else, apparently. Keith said she was struggling with pitch throughout the song, but he loved the purity of her voice and called her "totally real." Nicki praised that Juliana already had a signature tone to her voice at only 15, yet said she seemed very timid, and wondered if that would work against some of the "bigger voices" in the competition. (Why do we need 80 big voices? If you want a female winner, and know how popular Taylor Swift and others are, why not pick a 15-year-old and get people to vote for her?) Randy praised the honesty in her delivery and applauded Juliana for "giving us exactly who you are." Mariah said her voice had an angelic quality, almost celestial, and called her vulnerability a beautiful thing to witness. And then Randy had to go and spoil things by saying, "At 15 look at what Juliana has done, Ryan Seacrest couldn't have done it at 15," to which Ryan replied, "I can't do it at 22." Ha.

Petite Jett Hermano (cool name, BTW) took a page from Shubha Vedula's book last week, singing a slow, almost sexy version of Rihanna's Only Girl (In the World) while accompanying herself on the piano. (Season 10 contestant Ta-Tynisa Wilson sang this badly, and luckily, there's no video proof of it.) I really liked her voice and what she brought to the song, although it was a little boring at times. Keith loved her unique arrangement, called her musicianship fantastic, and praised her for "bringing out the sex in the song" in a different way than Rihanna does. Nicki liked the arrangement but felt the song never came to a climax. Randy—completely contradicting his criticism of Shubha last week (go figure)—told Jett he was disappointed she didn't get up halfway through the song and rock it. He and Nicki argued as to whether the restraint in her performance was good. Mariah called Jett "a unique addition to the contest" (tepid praise), said she enjoyed the first half of the performance, and told Jett that she "wasn't sure where you'll go in the competition," but "good luck with the rest of this thing." (Meaning, Jett, pack your knives and go. Sorry, wrong reality show.)

Cristabel Clack used to tour with a gospel group, and is a happily married mother of three. And she's 29, which is, like, 50 in American Idol years. She talked for far too long with Ryan about how she got nervous just before going to Vegas, but God assured her everything would be all right, and she had a place in the competition. She sang Alicia Keys' No One (which Season 8 contestant Felicia Barton sang), and I thought the rasp in her voice was really interesting, although sometimes it sounded like a hiccup. Randy gave her a standing ovation. Keith called it a fantastic performance and praised Cristabel's crazy potential, Nicki said she loved the song for Cristabel and loves the rasp in her voice, but thought it got a little out of control. (Agreed.) Randy said that while the song was overperformed in places (like the last few overlong runs), she was "on point," and called her a "racehorse singer," who allows herself the freedom to just go vocally. (Now, I'm no expert on women, but I don't think you should ever liken a woman to any kind of horse.) Mariah said that she would "like to hear what you do best," so "please come back and sing some more for us." Huh?

The first word I wrote down when I saw Aubrey Cleland was "beautiful." She sang Beyonce's Sweet Dreams (which last season's runner-up, Jessica Sanchez sang, although you can only find the studio version of the song online), and I liked her voice and presence a lot, although she didn't wow me. But she's hella nice to look at. Keith called Aubrey a "balance of poise and fire," and said she had great fire in her voice. Nicki admitted to being obsessed with Aubrey, and said that for the first time, someone sounded and looked the part. She said she'd sign Aubrey to a contract right now, because she looks the part and sounds the part. Randy said, "I'm obsessed with me, and you, and the other judges, and a little bit of Ryan Seacrest." He told Aubrey that during the auditions he said she was one of two contestants he'd sign right away because she is so marketable. He told her she looked amazing, she commands the stage, and has the "whole package," although he thought the song didn't have enough "moments." Mariah told Aubrey, "you're limitless," and said "I hope you continue with us, because, you're, limitless." (Great critique, Mariah.)

Rachel Hale who came thisclose to not making it into the top 20 (she was chosen in a sing-off), sang a spirited, awesome version of Nothing but the Water by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals. (Love them, by the way.) She has a great, rich-sounding voice, and a lot of personality, and I thought she knocked it out of the park. Once again, the judges didn't agree. Keith said he felt the song "got on top of you in parts," but loved her spirit. Nicki wanted to know where all of Rachel's confidence came from, since she's always been "my cute little ladybug." Rachel explained that she had been praying a lot for confidence (which caused Nicki to quote from MC Hammer's Pray), and Nicki said she was excited she came alive. Randy exclaimed, "Prayer works!", and then said he was happy that she brought her energy. Mariah praised Rachel's smile, but said "we may have heard you more on other songs." Unbelievable.

I've been watching this show far too long, so I hate when contestants trot out their sob stories. We've all had a challenging life in one way or another. Breanna Steer's family had their house in Louisiana destroyed by Hurricane Isaac. She sang Jazmine Sullivan's Bust Your Windows, and for me, there was a lot of attitude, not a lot of vocal range. Keith admitted he had dated a girl who busted the windows out of his car a long time ago (as he caressed the "Nicole" tattoo on his arm), and said that he liked the vibe of Breanna's performance. "Work it, Miss Little Ladybug," Nicki exclaimed, and told Breanna that she was another contestant she'd sign right away. She suggested that Breanna and Aubrey form a vocal group with "two sexy-looking girls" and they'd be famous. (What show is this again?) She called Breanna believable, said she had her swag, and was "sexy on a stick." Randy praised Breanna for "representing Louisiana from day one" (he's a proud Louisianan, you know), and said she was the other contestant he'd sign right away. He called her the whole package, and said she brought so much drama to her performance, Keith thought she'd actually bust the windows out of his car. Mariah also trotted out the m-word (marketable) and said she was so glad contestants could choose their own songs.

Before self-proclaimed "country girl" Janelle Arthur hit the stage, I said, "The show wants another Carrie Underwood, and this is who they want to win." Janelle sang Lady Antebellum's Just a Kiss, and it was, well, unimpressive. Singing a song solo that is usually performed by a band rarely works, and it didn't here. I just thought the whole performance—vocals, star quality, personality—fell utterly flat. Keith said the song had a limited melody, so it gave her no chance to really soar. Nicki said that she was excited to see Janelle and Zoanette—"my two little babies"—but said the performance felt a little bit flat. She said Janelle seemed disconnected, but said, "If it was up to me, you'll go through." (So what's the point of performing then?) Randy said that Janelle was his favorite country singer in the competition, and chalked her performance up to "just one of those nights." Mariah said she was "definitely a fan," and that she's rooting for Janelle. (So at least two better singers have no chance because you like Janelle? Twice now I've seen her perform and twice I was unimpressed.)

As I mentioned last week, I only started watching this season just before the top 40 was named, so I didn't get the chance to see much of Zoanette Johnson outside of her train-wrecky final solo performance. Apparently she and her family left Liberia when she was two (as opposed to Melinda's family, who fled Kosovo just a few years ago). She sang Circle of Life from The Lion King, starting out with the African chanting part of the song. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, although it certainly wasn't as good as the way Jennifer Hudson performed it during Season 3. I found it utterly theatrical, though, which apparently is bad for guys but not for the women. Keith, Randy, and Nicki gave her a standing ovation. (Does Mariah not believe in standing ovations, or are her dresses too tight to stand without assistance?) Keith said, "Kudos to the Queen of the Jungle," and said that part of what makes Zoanette special is he has no clue what she's going to do next, and wonders if she does either. Nicki said, "Who gonna check you, boo? You just served it." She called out how amazing it is that Zoanette's family made it out of Liberia and that her siblings could hear her sing, and talked about how lucky she and Zoanette were that they were people who had nothing, but they were able to "get out of the country alive." Randy said, "It's not whether the notes are right," and honestly, I don't remember a thing Mariah said but it clearly was as unexceptional as everything else she says.

Time for the judges' decisions. Quick question, though: It's Season 12. Is there anyone that's fooled by the fake-outs anymore, or the judges' babbling? Can't they afford some new scripts by now? Anyway, Zoanette made it through, Melinda and Juliana didn't. "Marketable" Aubrey made it through, Cristabel didn't. Candice made it through, Jett didn't, and if you were paying attention, you'd know that "marketable" Breanna would make it before she walked out there, so they could put the two country singers, Rachel and Janelle up against each other. Despite being outsung and outperformed by Rachel in every way, the judges stuck with their script and put Janelle through. Unbelievable. So far I'm not nearly as wowed by these female contestants as the producers think we should be.

So, the top 10 female contestants are:

Tenna "Teena" Torres
Adriana "Don't Call Me Jessica Sanchez" Latonio
Kree "Melanie Lynskey" Harrison
Angela "Original Song" Miller
Amber "Meh" Holcomb
Candice "Triumphant Return" Glover
Aubrey "Marketable" Cleland
Breanna "Marketable 2: The Remix" Steers
Janelle "More Kristy Lee Cook than Carrie Underwood" Arthur
Zoanette "I Can Outcrazy Fantasia" Johnson

Tonight, we'll see if any of the guys with talent make it through. That means you, Nick Boddington.

Cool cover song of the week...

I don't listen to the radio that often, because radio stations tend to overplay the heck out of songs. It got to the point where I couldn't listen to certain songs for a while because I heard them on two, maybe three stations, all at the same time.

One song that was seriously played into the ground was Adele's Rolling in the Deep. (Most of her recent songs—no matter how good they are—tend to be played ad infinitum.) Of course, you can understand why, given her vocals, the great melody, and the angry yet not Taylor Swift-ish lyrics. While many singers have attempted to cover this song, most have failed because they lack Adele's vocal power or the world-weariness she brings to the song.

John Legend, however, succeeds, with this a cappella version. I'm a huge fan of his and think his voice is just fantastic in general, but I think he fuses soulfulness and scorching power in this cover. He doesn't do anything really unique or special, but it doesn't matter.

Give it a listen:


Check out my previous Cool Cover Songs of the Week:

Borderline by The Counting Crows

How Deep Is Your Love by The Bird and The Bee

Life in a Northern Town by Sugarland, Little Big Town, and Jake Owen

I Don't Want to Talk About It by The Indigo Girls

Only You by Joshua Radin

Pure Imagination by Maroon 5

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by Blake Stratton

What a Fool Believes by Neri Per Caso

Poker Face by Daughtry

Back to Black by Ronnie Spector

I Will Survive by Cake

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by The Stereophonics

Book Review: "Wise Men" by Stuart Nadler

Stuart Nadler's terrific book explores the complex relationship between father and son, and how spending one's life trying to be something other than what is expected can be emotionally crippling. It's also a book about the powerful hold unrequited love has over you, and like Ian McEwan's Atonement, it's also a story of how a snap decision made in the heat of the moment can have life-changing implications.

Hilly Wise is a teenager growing up in New Haven when his father, Arthur, an ambulance-chasing attorney, lands a major case following a tragic plane crash. The case makes Arthur one of the wealthiest and most famous attorneys, reviled by airlines and other businesses, and sought after by individuals whose lives have been affected by tragedy. In the summer of 1952, Arthur moves his family to a beach house in the small town of Bluepoint on Cape Cod, where his law partner, Robert, also moves to an adjacent house on the property. Arthur and his wife easily settle into the life of the newly rich and powerful, but Hilly struggles.

In Bluepoint, Hilly meets Lem Dawson, the black man whose job it is to care for the Wises' house, and although Arthur discourages it, Hilly strikes up a tentative friendship with Lem, borne partly out of sympathy for the way his father treats Lem, partly out of curiosity and loneliness. Hilly finds himself falling in love with Lem's troubled niece, Savannah, although he is unsure exactly how to express his affection. And in one moment, a decision that Hilly makes has shattering consequences for all of them.

Years later, an adult Hilly, working as a reporter, tries to track Savannah down, in an effort to satisfy his longing and his curiosity at how her life turned out, as well as to assuage his guilt. But picking up where you left off—especially in a situation like this—is more difficult than one would imagine, and his relationship with his father once again leaves everything awry. And all of these feelings, and all of the familial history, continues to follow him through the rest of his life.

This is a powerful, well-told story about love, guilt, resentment, and trying to escape your destiny. Nadler does a great job creating a compelling story that transcends these familiar themes, and while Hilly at times seems a little too spineless and sad-sack, and Arthur seems to be a bit of a caricature at times, the narrative packs a resounding, emotional punch. Some of the plot you'll see coming, some you may not, but it's a story that will fascinate you, frustrate you, and ultimately, move you.