Book Review: "Discipline" by Larissa Pham

“When I was a student, I had thought I could manipulate that gaze to a certain extent, that I had agency. That being desired gave me power. But what I learned then, and what I understood now, was that though one might thrust an oar into the river and think herself steering her own way, the current pushes on, uncaring.“

Christine has recently written her first novel and has embarked on a cross-country book tour. Her novel is a fictionalized account of a relationship she had with an art professor in graduate school. The end of the relationship affected her mental wellbeing so much that she dropped out of grad school and has never painted again.

As she travels from city to city, she reflects on the 10 years that have passed since leaving school. She reconnects with ex-boyfriends and former friends. She engages in conversations about what inspires her to create, and avoids questions about whether the novel is her story.

And then she starts getting emails from her former professor. At first he tells her that the book sharply differs from reality; in some cases, that is true. But as they communicate back and forth, the initial trepidations she had fade away. He invites her to go visit him at his home on a remote island in Maine.

The 10 years have aged the professor significantly. And while there are definitely moments where Christine’s anger resurfaces, they have some brief discussions about what happened between them, the consequences, etc. Can she forgive him and move on with her life?

This is Larissa Pham’s first novel and it is beautifully written and insightful. I wasn’t quite sure how the story would unfold and I was surprised by the powerful emotions I felt. This is definitely a character-driven novel so it may not be for everyone. I look forward to what’s next in Pham’s career!