Book Review: "The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World, Second Edition" by Alan Downs, PhD

I don’t read much nonfiction beyond an occasional memoir, but this was our book club pick for August. We read the second edition, which was revised in 2011; the original was written in 2005.

The book is organized in three stages that the author believes describes the journey of most gay men. The stages are arranged by the primary manner in which gay men handle shame, from being “in the closet” and fearful of their own sexuality, to overcompensating by being more “successful, outrageous, fabulous, beautiful, or masculine,” to building a life based on their own values instead of feeling like they have to prove themselves.

“While we are different, we are at the same time very similar to all others. We want to be loved and to love. We want to find some joy in life. We hope to fall asleep at night fulfilled from our day’s endeavors. In these aspirations and appetites we are like all men and women. The problem is, our path to fulfilling these basic human needs has proven to be fundamentally different from the well-worn paths of straight humanity.”

While I recognized moments from my own coming out journey in the book, I also felt at many times the author was making generalizations that didn’t necessarily apply to me. I do understand that some may have a poor relationship with their fathers because of their sexuality, but that wasn’t the case for me.

What we found from our book club discussion is—unsurprisingly—every person’s experience is different, so the book resonated in different ways with each person. Some felt this was a powerful and valuable resource; others didn’t feel as connected to the book.

I probably wouldn’t have read this if it weren’t for the book club, but it definitely made me think. And sometimes that’s what reading does for us.

Book Review: "Business Casual" by B.K. Borison

I’ve not really been wild about the last few books I’ve read, but luckily the slump didn’t last too long. All I needed was a return trip to Inglewild, and some time with the folks at Lovelight Farms.

Nova has always been fiercely independent and is used to getting things her way. But as she plans to open her own tattoo studio in Inglewild, she’s feeling the pressure to have everything perfect.

Charlie, whose half-sister Stella runs Lovelight Farms, is a hard-working businessman in NYC dealing with his pompous, power-hungry father, but he’s a frequent visitor in Inglewild. He loves joking around and flirting with Nova, although she mostly doesn’t take him seriously. He likes his job and likes living in NYC, but he's also really lonely.

Charlie is shocked when Nova flirts back with him, and she proposes they sleep together just once, to get it out of their systems. (Does that ever work?) With Charlie spending a month running the farm, it’s much harder for both of them to ignore the chemistry and the growing feelings between them. In the end, though, Charlie will head back to NYC, and everything can go back to normal.

I really love this series and the community B.K. Borison has created here. This is a fantastic story, romantic and seriously steamy, but full of complex emotions and the ways we make ourselves small because we don’t think we’re worthy of happiness. While this is the fourth (and apparently final) book in the series, each can be read as a standalone, but hopefully you'll fall in love with these characters, too. (B.K., please do a book with Dane and Matty at some point!)

Thanks to NetGalley and Berkley for the advance copy! The book will publish 7/16.

Book Review: "You Had Me at Happy Hour" by Timothy Janovsky

My second book in a week featuring a bartender/mixologist…this is the best way to experience cocktails without a hangover!

Julien is a certified sommelier working in a bar/restaurant owned by his aunt and uncle. He dreams of becoming a master sommelier, which will help him write his ticket out of small-town Bethlehem, PA.

In an effort to attract more business to the restaurant, Julien’s aunt and uncle decide to hire Greg, a tremendously handsome mixologist who had gained some notoriety on TikTok. They believe with Greg’s cocktail-making skills and Julien’s expertise about wine, a huge flow of customers should be imminent.

But after Greg and Julien’s initial meeting fizzles awkwardly and their subsequent interactions go awry, business is flowing…away from the restaurant. So the two are tasked with creating new happy hours at the restaurant which can feature fun cocktails and excellent wine. That means they have to overcome whatever issues they have with one another and work together. Or else.

Of course, the awkwardness hides the strong mutual attraction between the two at first, but it’s not long before their feelings for each other intensify. But with Julien’s OCD and Greg’s anxiety and ED issues, the road to casual sex isn’t as smooth as it should be. And as their relationship heads towards love, both panic in their own ways.

I’ve read all of Timothy Janovsky’s books and this may be my favorite. I loved how he balanced the banter and the incredible steam with the serious emotional issues both Julien and Greg were dealing with. It turned what could have been a typical M/M rom-com into something more complex, and I loved it.

Thanks so much to NetGalley and Afterglow Books by Harlequin for the advance copy. The book will publish 7/23.

Book Review: "Another First Chance" by Robbie Couch

“Death isn’t the end but a conclusion to a single chapter within the infinite story of us—a cosmic transfer when our essence merges with the skies above. In death, we return to stardust, forever woven into the celestial tapestry of a universe that cannot be anything but immortal.”

River’s best friend Dylan died in a car accident a year ago, when he was texting and driving. River has been full of grief, not to mention guilt, since it was his text that Dylan was responding to. Every day, River passes a billboard with Dylan’s face on it, reminding people not to text and drive, which River hates.

Since Dylan’s death, River has been a loner. No one really understands how he feels, except Mavis, Dylan’s girlfriend, who used to be River’s best friend, but she hasn’t spoken to him since the accident.

When River makes some “improvements” (otherwise known as vandalism) to Dylan’s billboard, he gets blackmailed into participating in a research study called The Affinity Trials, which is geared toward teenagers who are struggling socially. River is thrown together for a week with 19 other students, including Mavis, which makes for a difficult time.

During the Trials, River finally starts coming to terms with his grief and guilt. At the same time, several of the students, including River, are experiencing some weird things. What are the Trials really for. What’s real and what isn’t?

The book is narrated by River in the present and Dylan on the day he died. Although the book gets a little technical at times, I thought it was really moving, and as someone who lost one of his best friends 2-1/2 years ago, some of the emotions felt very real. I can always count on Robbie Couch to hit me in the feels!!

Book Review: "Heartstopper #5" by Alice Oseman

The sweetest graphic novel series is back! It seems like forever since we've had a dose of Nick and Charlie's young love (in print, at least), so I've been waiting for this installment for a while. And it's just as heartwarming as its predecessors.

Nick and Charlie have finally conquered their fears about saying "I love you" to one another, and now they're both starting to think about taking their relationship to the next level. Are their friends telling the truth when they say they've had sex, or are they embellishing the truth in order to seem cool? And are both Nick and Charlie ready, or is one more ready than the other? As they start to prepare for that special moment, they also need to convince their parents they're mature enough to spend the night at one of their houses.

At the same time, Nick is growing anxious about his future, as he needs to think about applying to university. He isn't even sure what he wants to do with his life, but he's thinking he should attend a nearby school so he won't be too far from his mom or Charlie. But taking a university tour with some friends, he realizes that maybe he should choose the school he likes the best, regardless of the distance. Will that be an issue for his relationship with Charlie?

Not a lot happens in this book, but I think its main purpose is to serve as a bridge to Book #6, which Alice Oseman has said will be the conclusion of the series. Even though it's not as fast-moving or exciting as some of the previous books, I still love all of these characters and find that the depiction of young love is truly heartwarming.

Book Review: "The Holigay" by K.M. Neuhold

A Bookstagram friend of mine recently featured a few queer holiday novellas and short stories, and I had to snap a few of them up ASAP. I’m so glad I did!

In The Holigay, Caspian’s best friend since childhood, Matt, is devastated after he caught his girlfriend cheating on him. He was planning to propose and everything, and even had a romantic getaway to Fiji planned. Matt asks Caspian to go with him on the trip since it was nonrefundable, and the last thing he wants is to go alone.

Caspian has had a crush on Matt since they were young, but knows Matt is straight. But when Matt suddenly seems interested in him, Caspian can’t help but wonder if hooking up will destroy their relationship. Is Matt actually having feelings for him or is he just gay for the holidays?

This was HOT and romantic and emotional. A quick and enjoyable read!

Book Review: "When I Ran Away" by Ilona Bannister

For a powerfully emotional story about grief, love, motherhood, and guilt, look no further than When I Ran Away.

Gigi and Harry meet on the Staten Island Ferry not long after both have fled the chaos following the collapse of the first tower on 9/11. Harry used to visit Gigi's favorite coffee shop but they never met officially, and yet here both are, covered in ash and not truly comprehending the magnitude of what is happening on that day.

Harry, an Englishman living in NYC, has nowhere to go, so Gigi brings him to her dysfunctional family home in Staten Island. But when the family discovers her younger brother was somehow in the Twin Towers that day and won’t ever come home, Harry helps them through one of the most painful moments in their lives, and then leaves them with their friends to process their grief.

When Gigi and Harry meet by chance 10 years later, she’s a single mother raising a young boy. They fall deeply in love, and Harry ultimately asks Gigi to move to London with him. It’s a very different atmosphere than what she’s used to, but she’s determined to make their marriage work, and to raise her son and their new baby right.

But after a while, the pressure of balancing motherhood, marriage, career, and her own happiness, all in an unfamiliar place away from friends and family, becomes too much to bear. She is faced with a crucial moment where she doesn’t know how to handle any of it, not to mention her and her family’s unresolved grief over her brother’s death 15 years earlier.

When I Ran Away is a beautifully told story, searing and poignant, but with flashes of sly humor. I’ll admit I thought it would be sadder and I was glad it wasn’t, especially having spent the weekend in a funk mourning friends lost on 9/11. But I’d imagine that for many mothers out there this will be an even more emotional and relevant read, one which will make many feel seen.

I’m glad I finally read this after it sat on my TBR stack for a while. Definitely one worth discussing with others.

Book Review: "All the Lonely People" by Mike Gayle

All the Lonely People (not the Beatles' song) is emotional, thought-provoking, and heartwarming.

Hubert Bird has a full life. He and his best friends, Dotty, Dennis, and Harvey, are always up to some kind of shenanigans.

At least that’s what he tells his daughter Rose when she calls each week from Australia. The truth is, other than trips to the store and the vet for his cat, he barely sees or speaks to anyone. Dotty, Dennis, and Harvey don't even exist. Hubert is tremendously lonely, but he can’t let Rose know or she’ll worry.

But when Rose announces she’ll be visiting from Australia in a few months’ time and can’t wait to meet and spend time with Hubert’s friends, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. Does he tell her the truth or does he spend the next few months trying to build the life he said he had?

With the help of a young single mother named Ashleigh and her daughter, Hubert will start to realize he’s not the only lonely person out there, and that loneliness isn’t anything to be ashamed of. But he’ll also need to come to terms with the things that led him to seek isolation, and figure out if it’s too late for him to start again.

I worried this would be another curmudgeon-becomes-cuddly story, but there’s so much more to this book than that. I love the way Mike Gayle tackled the idea of loneliness as it touches people of all ages, not just the elderly.

The story shifts between the past, starting with Hubert’s coming to London from Jamaica many years before, and the present. All the Lonely People is a tearjerker for sure but not overly maudlin.

Book Review: "The Push" by Ashley Audrain

I don’t think I’ve ever had a more "Bookstagram Made Me Do It" book than Ashley Audrain's new novel, The Push. Seeing all the raves from friends I had such FOMO, even though some said, "Larry, I don't know if this one is for you!" But boy, did it live up to every ounce of the hype I had built for it in my head—and then some!!

“You know, there’s a lot about ourselves that we can’t change—it’s just the way we’re born. But some parts of us are shaped by what we see. And how we’re treated by other people. How we’re made to feel.”

This is a story about motherhood. It’s about the beautiful moments when you’re blissfully in love with this life you’ve helped to create. But it’s also about the difficult moments—the exhaustion, the pain, the fears, the sorrow and even resentment when you feel your spouse has more of a connection with your baby than you do.

But what happens if you feel your child doesn’t like you, and you’re not sure that you don’t feel the same? Is that even possible, or is it indicative of a larger problem you're having? What happens if you start to think your child may actually be dangerous? What if no one believes you? Are the things you're seeing really happening or have you convinced yourself they are?

This is such a tremendously powerful, suspenseful, slightly creepy book I stayed up until nearly 1:30 a.m. to finish because I couldn’t put it down. It packs quite a punch as you catch glimpses of three generations of mothers, each affected in different ways by the lives they live and those who came before.

I’ve read some good books so far this month but I hadn’t yet found a 5-star read. The Push sure did fit that bill for me. It’s definitely one I won’t forget anytime soon, and I’d imagine it would be great discussion fodder for book clubs!

Book Review: "You're Completely Normal" by Shannon Leyko

If you're looking to learn (or perhaps remember) how to trade where you think you should be for where you want to go, You're Completely Normal is for you.

We’ve all done it. At some point in our lives most of us have thought to ourselves, “I thought I’d be [fill-in-the-blank] by now.” I usually do it around milestone birthdays—30 was the toughest for me—but I definitely find myself uttering those words every now and again. (And if you've never done that, I tip my cap to you.)

As we all inherently know, there’s no prescribed path for anyone, no “right way” to be a spouse, a partner, a parent, an employee, a child, a person of faith, a friend. Yet all too often we get caught up comparing our journey and our lives to others, and social media adds to that pressure. (How many of us have thought, “I should have as many followers/friends as that person, I’ve been here longer!”)

Shannon Leyko knows these feelings all too well, and she encapsulates how she navigated (and still does) those feelings of fear and inadequacy, of measuring up to others, in this funny, insightful, and moving new book.

At first glance you might think this former Miss New York and mom of two is the last person who knows what it’s like to feel off-track, but you couldn’t be more wrong. In this book, she looks at nine overarching areas, including career, relationships, health and fitness, parenthood, friendship, and faith—where many tend to worry about how they measure up.

Maybe you’ve heard all of this before. But this book serves as a great reminder, a course correction of sorts, a reinforcement that no matter where you are and what path you’re on, you can find your own way without worrying about what others are doing. You're Completely Normal would make a great gift for the New Year!

Thanks to Shannon Leyko for a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review!

Book Review: "Pretending" by Holly Bourne

Holly Bourne's new novel, Pretending, is a thought-provoking look at a woman’s struggles, both in dating and emotionally.

April wants to be in a relationship. She’s pretty, smart, kind, thoughtful, and tremendously empathetic, but she can’t seem to make it beyond the fifth date with a guy before they break it off or ghost her. It’s shattered her confidence and self-esteem, but it's also causing her hatred of men to grow, too.

On a whim she creates an alter ego, Gretel, who has tremendous self-confidence and knows how to hold her own when it comes to dating and romance. She thinks Gretel is the type of woman all men would like to date. When she meets Joshua, as Gretel she has control of the relationship for the first time, and she likes how confident she feels instead of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

But as they grow closer, when is the appropriate time for April to stop pretending and tell Joshua the truth? And if she’s able to pretend so successfully in this aspect of her life, what else isn’t she dealing with?

I liked the concept of Pretending as it captured dating in the #MeToo world. It’s humorous at times but also very emotionally powerful, and it definitely made me think.

While the book took a humorous approach to the whole “I hate men” thing, there were more serious things in play at the same time. I feel like April wasn’t dealing with some past trauma, and that was just as much an issue as the dating foibles she had to face. At times that put a damper on the book's sense of humor.

I was lucky to be on the blog tour for this book. Mira Books provided me with a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!

Book Review: "As Far As You'll Take Me" by Phil Stamper

Phil Stamper's upcoming book, As Far As You'll Take Me, is an enjoyable, moving story about finally making your own way and finding your own people.

Seventeen-year-old Marty has never been more ready to leave his tiny, conservative Kentucky hometown. His parents disapprove of him being gay and have forced him to stay in the closet (what would their neighbors and the people from church think), so he’s headed to London for a summer music program. But the truth is, he never even got into the program and he hasn’t purchased a return ticket home. His plan is to get a job with an orchestra and stay in London forever, so he can finally live his life his own way.

Of course, life never goes as you plan. Marty loves London and his independence but he’s struggling emotionally and he's having little luck finding a job. As he lands his first boyfriend, he’s torn between London and home, new friends and family and old, and it intensifies his anxiety. He's not sure where he fits in, and he doesn't know what he wants to do.

Can he find his place, his people, his happiness without hurting anyone? Can he truly be himself without forsaking his old life completely?

I enjoyed this book tremendously. So many of us have dealt with emotions and problems similar to Marty's, although I never went overseas to try and escape! I'm a big fan of how Stamper tells a story and I really liked the genuine way he treated Marty's struggles with anxiety and how those around him handled it. Trying to find your way is hard enough without dealing with emotional problems on top of it all!

I loved Phil Stamper’s last book, The Gravity of Us, too. He's definitely a YA author worth reading because of the way he so deftly weaves emotion and humor.

I was excited to be part of the blog tour for this book. Bloomsbury YA, Storygram Tours, and Phil Stamper provided me a complimentary advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!

As Far As You'll Take Me will be released 2/9/2021.

Book Review: "The Bridge" by Bill Konigsberg

Bill Konigsberg's new YA novel, The Bridge, is an emotional, eye-opening look at teenagers, depression, and suicide.

Aaron can’t take it any longer. He’s tired of not feeling like he’s good enough or talented enough. He’s tired of wondering if he’ll ever find a guy to love him, tired of putting himself out there and getting little in return.

One day, he goes to the George Washington Bridge and is ready to end it all. And there he sees Tillie.

Tillie is at the end of her rope. She’s been bullied, she’s been ghosted, she’s fighting to be seen and heard and loved. She just doesn’t feel like she can go on any longer. And then she sees Aaron.

What happens if Aaron jumps?
What happens if Tillie jumps?
What if they both jump?
What if neither one jumps?

Konigsberg explores all four scenarios, the impact on those left behind (including Aaron or Tillie if they saw the other jump), the possible ways they might have touched the world had they not jumped, and the beauty and strength which comes from having the support of people who get you. He recognizes, however, that’s not all we need to help us.

This was a beautiful, moving book which hit me in the feels, reminding me of my own struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts. The unique 4-scenarios-in-1 concept mostly works, and it really looks at the big and small moments of depression. Konigsberg is a terrific writer; I've enjoyed his previous books, particularly The Music of What Happens.

He has written an important, gorgeous book that will make you feel and think, but it's not so heavy or maudlin that you'll feel utterly finished afterward.

If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, in the US you can call 1-800-273-TALK or 1-800-SUICIDE.

Book Review: "A Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son" by Michael Ian Black

Michael Ian Black's A Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son is full of humorous, moving, insightful reflections shared from father to son.

What does it mean to be a man? And what does being “a good man” entail, especially in these days when it seems we are caught between the “traditional” male roles and behaviors and the paradigm shift that has occurred in the wake of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements?

In his new book, fashioned as a “letter” of sorts to his college-aged son, comedian Michael Ian Black tries to provide advice on how to negotiate manhood in this day and age. He talks about the need to avoid getting caught up in stereotypical male behaviors like refusing to show emotions or ask for help, the need to make your own way and avoid turning to violence.

In many ways, this is a quietly moving book, as Black reflects on his own relationship with his father, who died when he was 12. He also talks about the fear and uncertainty of parenting, especially following the Sandy Hook massacre and other crises.

While Black does interject a little humor into the book, it’s not as sarcastic or snarky as I expected it might be, and that worked well. In some cases he dwells a little too much on history, and those chapters don’t work as well, and he doesn’t shy away from adding his political views periodically, which might not sit well with those who don’t share them. (It didn't bother me.)

Although I’m not a father, this book certainly made me reflect on my own relationship with my father, who died almost 6-1/2 years ago.

I hope that Black’s son—and to a smaller extent, his daughter—realizes how much his father loves him. A Better Man certainly radiates love, as well as the need for reflection.

I was pleased to be part of the blog tour for this book. Thanks to Algonquin Books and Michael Ian Black for a complimentary advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review!!

Book Review: "Anxious People" by Fredrik Backman

Fredrik Backman's newest novel, Anxious People, is poignant, thought-provoking, and a little bewildering.

This is a story about a bank robbery and a subsequent hostage situation. But not really. I mean, these things happen and factor in the book but in the end, this is a book about connections, how desperate we are to be seen by others, and how even those who are supposed to help us in our time of need are sometimes in need of rescue as well.

Anxious People tells a story—many stories, really—in a very roundabout way. It travels from past to present, focusing on many different people, and their stories are juxtaposed with interviews between the police and the hostages. I felt as if the interviews were supposed to provide comic relief, but they were almost too outrageous and annoying that they frustrated me more than amused me.

There are a lot of characters and situations to keep straight, and Backman throws lots of twists and turns into the story. I'll admit I had to go back and read some incidents again to make sure I was clear on what actually happened. But there is a lot of emotion here, too, and I think when Backman writes about the emotional connections we have—with loved ones, friends, strangers—and how they enrich and affect us in ways we might never know, he's found his sweet spot.

I love the way Backman tells a story. (Two of his books, Beartown and Us Against You, are among my favorite books from the last decade.) Even though this one didn’t completely click for me, my love of his writing won out. There was still a lot to love about this book.

I’ve seen mixed things on this—some have given it 5 stars while others have struggled—but it’s definitely worth a read.

Atria Books and Ariele Stewart provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!!

Book Review: "Migrations" by Charlotte McConaghy

Charlotte McConaghy's Migrations is haunting, poignant, and thought-provoking. Wow.

This was definitely what I'd call a "Bookstagram made me do it" book. I hadn’t heard of it until two friends spoke highly of it, and it sounded like a book I’d like. And boy, did I ever.

In a not-too-distant future, nearly all of the world’s wildlife—animals, birds, and fish—are extinct. Franny has tracked the last existing flock of arctic terns to Greenland, and she is determined to follow their last majestic migration.

But to do so, she must convince a ship to follow the birds’ path, and let her join them. She connects with the Saghani, a fishing vessel in search of nearly elusive fish. She convinces them that the birds will go where the fish are and the captain, Ennis, decides to trust her.

It’s a treacherous and harrowing journey. As Franny gets more acclimated with her shipmates it becomes clear that Franny is hiding something. Suffering from night terrors, sleepwalking into dangerous situations, one must wonder whether Franny is not only running toward the birds, but running from something.

This was a beautiful book. It has a similar feel to books like Good Morning, Midnight, Station Eleven, or The Dog Stars, although not quite as dystopian. It’s also a commentary on the risks we face as a world given the way our environment is being abused.

Migrations is one that will stick with me. Franny is one of those beautifully flawed characters you truly feel for.

Book Review: "The Friendship List" by Susan Mallery

When best friends realize they’re both in a rut, what will it take to shake up their lives? Susan Mallery's The Friendship List has some ideas.

Ellen is happy. She likes her teaching job, she has a great relationship with her teenage son, Cooper, and she loves spending time with her best friend, Unity. She’s a little nervous about being able to afford Cooper’s college tuition on her salary, but they’ll figure it out. Not bad for someone who got pregnant at 17, right?

Unity has a successful handyman business and she feels a part of Ellen and Cooper’s family. She mostly spends time at the retirement community where she works, and she's made many friends among the residents, even though she’s only in her 30s. Since her husband died three years ago, she doesn’t feel comfortable moving on.

When Ellen overhears Cooper saying he can’t go away to college because she’d be lost without him, and Unity gets some tough-love from friends, both realize they’ve let their lives stagnate—and they need to fix that.

The two put together lists to challenge each other. Ellen vows to wear clothes that fit, to shake her life up a bit, and to finally have sex with a man, something she hasn’t done since she was 17. Unity has some similar things on her list as well, including finding an age-appropriate man to date (since all of her male friends are beyond retirement age) and maybe even wearing some makeup.

While they start to pursue activities on the list, what they don’t realize is how much more complicated it is to really move beyond what you’re used to emotionally, and what to expect. How do you know when you’re ready to change? How much is enough, or too much? Are you changing for change's sake, or because you really want and need to?

This was a sweet, steamy, emotional book. The characters—particularly Unity—were more complex than I expected so it took longer for them to progress, or want to, than I would have hoped. But still, this was a fun book, a quick read, and a good story about friendship.

I was pleased to be part of the blog tour for this one. Harlequin Books provided an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making that possible!!

Book Review: "Love, Creekwood" by Becky Albertalli

Boy, it felt so good to be back in the Love, Simon universe!!

This novella picks up where Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda and Leah on the Offbeat left off. Simon, Bram, Leah, and Abby are all in college now, dealing with being away from home, trying to make the most of their college experience, navigating long-distance relationships and love and all the beauty and insecurities that come with it.

“When we say we want to freeze time, what we mean is that we want to control our memories. We want to choose which moments we’ll keep forever. We want to guarantee the best ones won’t slip away from us somehow. So when something beautiful happens, there’s this impulse to press pause and save the game. We want to make sure we can find our way back to that moment.”

This book is told all in emails back and forth. Some of the emails have a surprising amount of emotion contained in them, and the discussion about finding the memories you want to keep forever, like the quote above, even choked me up a little.

I’ve really loved these stories and these characters, and also adored the Love, Simon movie. I definitely saw the actors in my head as I was reading this. (I also may have watched a few clips from the movie on YouTube once I finished this book.)

I just wish this was longer!! Even though she said before publishing this that she didn't intend to do any sequels or follow-ups, I do hope that Becky Albertalli plans to revisit the Creekwood gang again because I didn’t realize just how much I missed them until I read this.

Albertalli is donating all of the proceeds from this book to The Trevor Project, which is an organization near and dear to my heart, as are so many others I support.

The beauty of my month-long Pride Reads effort continues!!

Book Review: "Breath Like Water" by Anna Jarzab

How hard will you push to achieve your dreams, and what will you sacrifice to achieve them? These questions are at the core of Anna Jarzab's Breath Like Water.

All Susannah has known for as long as she can remember is swimming. She dreams of going to the Olympics, a dream she felt even closer to when she won a world championship at age 14. But when her body starts to slow down and change as she gets older, she wonders if her chance is over or whether she should listen to her overbearing coach and push harder.

When a new coach comes to the swimming club, Susannah wants nothing to do with her, until she realizes that her unique training techniques may take her where she needs to go. It’s a delicate balance between self-belief and recognizing the limits of her body.

"I feel like I'm one person in the water, and another on dry land. Me on land is still hesitant and uncertain; having faith is hard for her, and so is letting go. But me in the water, the girl Beth found beneath the rubble? She's elegant and powerful and fast."

Meanwhile, when she meets Harry, another talented swimmer, she wonders whether continuing to push herself for a dream she might never achieve is worth not taking a chance to follow her heart. But Harry has secrets of his own which also threaten to weigh Susannah down. She doesn’t understand why she can’t have it all, but if she has to choose, what’s the right choice, not just for her, but for those she cares about?

This really was a thought-provoking story, and Anna Jarzab does a great job in making you feel the tension of Susannah’s choices. But at its core, Breath Like Water is powerfully emotional, as you ride both the highs and the lows that these characters experience.

I’m honored to have been part of the blog tour for this book. NetGalley, Inkyard Press, and Harlequin Teen provided me with an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!!

Book Review: "Jack Kerouac is Dead to Me" by Gae Polisner

Aren’t friends and family supposed to be there for you? Why do you have to face things alone?

In Jack Kerouac is Dead to Me, JL (short for Jean-Louise) is 15, and at a time when she’s supposed to be experiencing the carefree fun of being a teenager, her life is full of angst and worry, including and beyond the typical teenager stuff.

Her mother suffers from a dissociative disorder, which leaves her often depressed or in a fog, writing letters to someone who no longer exists. Her father has been out of town on business for months, which only adds to her mother’s despair.

No one seems to notice that JL’s childhood best friend Aubrey has shunned her, or that JL is dating Max, a 19-year-old senior who seems rough around the edges but is far more intelligent than anyone realizes. The only thing that gives JL peace of mind is spending time with the tropical butterflies she raises.

Max wants to go to California when he graduates, and wants JL to come with him. Of course, she can’t leave her mother alone, can she? Would anyone notice? At what point should she think of her own happiness before others?

As Max starts making plans to leave, and her mother slips further and further into despair, JL doesn’t know what to choose. When there’s no one to guide you, how do you decide?

This is a poignant, beautifully written book about the fragility of young friendship, the challenges of having to take responsibility for your parents when you’re still a child, the secrets we keep hidden from ourselves and others, and the feeling that you’re all alone, and no one is there to help you. Gae Polisner so adroitly captures those emotions.

My only quibble with the book is the way the narration meanders. One chapter takes place in middle school, one in the present, one in the slightly recent past—it took a little while to get used to. But Polisner—whose previous books (especially The Memory of Things) blew me away—keeps you hooked on this story.

I am grateful to have been part of the blog tour for this book. Thanks to NetGalley and Wednesday Books for giving me an advanced copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. The book publishes 4/7!