AI Recap: The Power of 10

Did we really have a top 10 results show without unnecessary drama (save the forced histrionics of another overblown Curtis Finch, Jr. performance)?

Is it possible that, although I'm not crazy about a few of the contestants, this is a top 10 that doesn't incense me?

Were we really spared any non-prerecorded moments of Zoanette- or Charlie-related madness?

Hold on to your hats, kids, this may be the end of days. Or a harbinger of the madness to come. But whatever it is, I found last night's results show far less annoying and crap-filled than I know future results shows will be. Although if some of the top 10's "victory performances" are any indication of what they're going to sound like in front of a live Hollywood audience, we may be in trouble.

I'm not sure who thought of the design of this show, but it was horribly stupid. The contestants were kept backstage in this weird holding room, seemingly miles away from the stage. The audience in the theater couldn't see them, but we could at home. Ryan started by telling the guys which ones made it into the top 10 (and secured a spot on the summer tour—oh joy, oh rapture), and when he'd call someone's name, they'd walk all the way to these dramatic-looking doors to the stage, and then Ryan would announce their names to the crowd, into which they'd walk, to rousing applause.

If it sounds confusing and unnecessary, it was even more so, but to be spared the ridiculously non-dramatic fakeouts of who made it and who didn't, I was willing to endure. Plus, I watched it on my DVR, so I fast-forwarded through anything the judges had to say when they gave their so-called "advice" to the contestants.

Shockingly, the overly theatrical "guy Taylor Swift," Paul, was the first contestant named into the top 5. He was shocked and said he wondered if Ryan was playing a joke on him. He screeched and stumbled through a (surprise) dramatically oversung version of Alone, performed on this show far too many times to count, none greater than one of Paul's idols, Carrie Underwood.

Burnell, rocking an ensemble last worn by Will Smith on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, was next to be named into the top 5. He sang India.Arie's Ready for Love, complete with his soon-to-be-trademarked hand gestures. The amazing Joshua Ledet sang this song last season (although only the studio version can be found on YouTube). Burnell, I loved Joshua Ledet, and you are no Joshua Ledet. Don't try.

To the surprise of no one (not even him, no matter how much he playacted humility and shock), Curtis also made it into the top 10. He sang John Legend's So High (again with the flying theme), and he started in with the Burnellisms, too, pointing "high", etc. I didn't think his performance was as strong as some of his others, and I hope (although I doubt) the judges will tell him that every note, every gesture doesn't need to be hammered to death. Subtlety can be wonderful sometimes, too. (Stop looking at me. Remember, those who can't do write about others who can't do.)

Who's next? Our own "Spanish Ken doll," Devin. I'm seriously liking him more and more every time I see him. He sang Israel Houghton's The Power of One (all in English this time, although in her post-performance "advice," Nicki suggested Devin stick with the English/Spanish hybrid), and he sounded great (mostly) and showed more performance skill than we've seen from him yet. Hoping he goes far.

I wondered who would be the final guy in the top 10. Marketable, ladies-loving Elijah? Early favorite Vincent, whose last performance knocked him off his pedestal? Chapeau-topped Nick? "Jean vest" wearing, pelvis-thrusting Cortez? No. The final slot went to the one with the amazing smile and the great story, Lazaro, this time surprisingly dressed in all black save for white sneakers. He apparently didn't know the last few notes of his victory song, Bridge Over Troubled Water, despite it being the song he sang for his audition. (Of course, AI lovers remember this as the song that should have won Clay Aiken the title in Season 2, and Season 10's Curtis, Jacob Lusk, also sang it.) Vocally, Lazaro was a little bit of a mess, sometimes good and sometimes fairly bad, but I love him. It will be interesting to see how long he lasts if he doesn't continue improving.

When they brought the five guys who were cut out onstage, I waited for the moment the judges or Ryan would announce wildcards. Nope.

Time for the ladies to enter the holding pen. First into the top 10, the constantly underwhelming Janelle, who underwhelmed again with her rendition of Dierks Bentley's Home. I like that she sounds like Jewel without the twee lyrics, but she doesn't wow me in any way, kind of the way the judges and everyone kept telling us how amazing Lauren Alaina was in Season 10, but she never seemed to wow anyone. I predict Janelle will soon be the Kristy Lee Cook-ish bane of my existence.

Candice was next. Still cannot believe she was cut last season, because she would have chewed up and spit out Jessica Sanchez like Jennifer Holliday nearly did during last season's finale. She sang Mary J. Blige's I'm Goin' Down and was Ah. Ma. Zing. Can she just be declared the winner and give me my nights back?

Piano-playing, original song-writing, Angie made it next. She looked great but didn't sound so great on a somewhat overblown and screechy I Was Here by Beyonce. Let's hope it was just nerves. And did you know she wrote and performed an original song?

When Ryan announced that Amber was the next contestant into the top 10, she looked like she might pass out. Nicki is right: the girl has legs for days, even if I feel like a bit of a perv saying that. She showed a bit more personality by singing another Whitney Houston song, this time I'm Every Woman, which Trenyce sang in Season 2, Mandisa sang in Season 5, and Lil Rounds sang in Season 8, but apparently none of those are available on YouTube. It will be interesting to see if Amber can stand out this season.

Would the final spot in the top 10 go to one of our beautiful, marketable contestants, Breanna or Aubrey? The hot mess of Zoanette? Future Miss Alaska Adriana? I'll admit, I sweated through this one, until Ryan announced that Kree made it into the top 10. I take back my earlier comment: can Kree win now? Her performance of Susan Tedeschi's Evidence showed fire, sass, and amazing vocals...and the camera pan showed she has a pretty hot boyfriend. How can you miss?

Again, I expected an announcement about wild cards. Nope. But apparently the sixth-place finisher on both the guys' and ladies' sides will compete in some sort of pre-determined sing-off to determine who gets a spot on the summer tour. It will be interesting to see who they pretend finished sixth—I can't imagine they won't want either Charlie or Zoanette to be that person, for the drama factor alone.

And there you have it...the 10 people sure to make me crazy one way or another over the next nine or so weeks. (Fifteen people total, counting the judges and Ryan. Oh, and Jimmy. Sixteen. Sigh.)

Book Review: "Benediction" by Kent Haruf

I've always been utterly captivated by Kent Haruf's storytelling ability. In novels like Plainsong and Eventide, the simplicity of his writing was used to such terrific advantage. The characters he creates are everyday people with everyday challenges (for the most part), and in a world where all too often more is more, his stories don't dwell on unnecessary drama yet touch your heart and make you think.

The same holds true for Haruf's newest novel, Benediction. In the small town of Holt, Colorado, longtime resident and hardware store owner Dad Lewis is diagnosed with terminal cancer, and he and his wife, Mary, begin planning for the end of his life and endeavor to make his final days as comfortable and stress-free as possible. While their grown daughter, Lorraine, comes home to help care for her father, her presence doesn't quite assuage the sadness and uncertainty Dad and Mary feel about their estranged son, Frank, who left Holt after he graduated high school and never returned. And as Dad's last days draw closer, reminiscences about his difficult relationship with Frank, as well as other precarious situations he found himself in throughout his life, come rushing back to challenge him.

Next door to the Lewises, a young girl named Alice moves in with her grandmother, Berta May, following the death of her own mother to cancer. She becomes a captivating presence for the Lewises, especially Lorraine, and Alice's curiosity and innocence also bring joy to the lives of Willa Johnson and her daughter, Alene, both of whom have struggled with loneliness in different ways. Meanwhile, Rob Lyle, Holt's new preacher, tries to mend his own difficult relationships with his wife and teenage son, John Wesley, both of whom resent having to move to this small town. And when Rob decides to start expressing his true feelings in his sermons, he is met with outrage and ridicule from his congregation, which further strains his family's tolerance of the situation.

Although it takes some time, these seemingly disparate characters weave together to form a rich and moving meditation on life, happiness, love, sadness, perseverance, and the beauty of life's simple joys. There is tension and relaxation, happiness and regret, all played out against the backdrop of Dad's ever-present mortality. While not a tremendous amount happens in the book, the story is so well told, so beautifully written, that you feel like you know these people and can share, and understand, how they feel.

I still believe that Plainsong, probably Haruf's most recognized novel, is his best, but Benediction is a worthy addition to his earlier works. If you like plain, strong, beautiful writing, this is definitely a book for you.

A workplace prayer...

On days you find yourself stressed beyond belief by the prospect of another crazy work day, just utter these simple words:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the minds I cannot change,

the courage to endure second-guessing, backstabbing, and unfounded criticism,

the strength to resist baked goods brought in by generous colleagues and the mid-afternoon siren song of the vending machine,

the intelligence to remember that when someone asks for your "honest opinion," honesty is not what they're interested in,

the discipline to avoid choosing Facebook instead of meeting deadlines,

the good fortune to avoid conversations which include the words "budget-cutting," "changing priorities," or "changing direction,"

and, above all, the wisdom to remember that no matter how bad it gets, I am lucky to have a job.

Feel better now?

AI Recap: I Believe I Can Fly, Do You??

I'll admit I'm not a huge Ryan Seacrest fan—the seasons-long banter between him and Simon Cowell that bordered on homophobia, the hammy dramatics of result nights, even his immense dominance of the entertainment world. But the way he handled Charlie Askew last night—with kid gloves rather than a spotlight—showed that he truly is a consummate professional, and a genuine heart beats inside the man made of cheese. (His words, not mine.) But more on that in a bit.

The difference between Tuesday night's show and last night's was pretty epic. On Tuesday night's show, seven, maybe eight women turned in good performances I'd be willing to watch again. But last night, I honestly liked two, maybe three performances completely, was bored and disappointed by several, and found the remaining performances to be utterly demonstrative of the show's desperate, ham-handed need to have a female winner this season.

In case you didn't know, Elijah likes the ladies. And if you didn't know, he mentioned it like three or four times, because he hoped to "connect with all my ladies out there" with his performance. Way to go, guy. You're heterosexual. He sang Rihanna's Stay, and it was definitely better than his performance from last week, but a great singer he's not. But dude, why do you keep going for falsetto notes when you have no falsetto? Keith said the song suited his voice and he showed good control. Nicki admitted, "I think I would be willing to stay," and then beat the marketable horse again, saying she could see his face on blankets and other merchandise in a "New Kids on the Block from wayback kinda thing." Randy and I were on the same wavelength (it's happening more often than I'd care to admit this season), as he said he liked the performance more than last week, but it "never left first gear, and never went anywhere." Oh, but he looks marketable. Mariah suffered from incurable logorrhea this episode (definition: incessant or compulsive talkiness), and she patently refused to say anything negative about almost every contestant. She called this one of Elijah's better performances, said his relevancy was his strongest point, mentioned that he was very "saleable," and also pointed out a trend that she's noticed lately about songs with "intimate" lyrics on the radio, etc. Her verbal diarrhea got so bad by the end of the show that the band just started playing her off. (Points to Ray Chew Live on that.)

Cortez recognized that his performance of Titanium last week was a bit of a mess, so he vowed to do better this week. He sang Bruno Mars' Locked Out of Heaven, and while I give him props for the song choice, at the end of the day, he isn't a very good singer, and tends to go for songs that require a higher range than he has. And the pelvic thrusts while rocking a stonewashed denim vest didn't help the, well, package any, either. (I also thought the male background singer was seriously loud on this song.) Keith asked why Cortez chose this song, because he explained that while he loves his voice and his spirit, it wasn't the best to show off his ability. Nicki said that Cortez got his "mojo back," but said "whoever styles Elijah should style you," as she mocked his "jean vest." (Hee.) She mentioned that she felt like he was straining vocally, however. Randy agreed, saying that it seems like he needs to take nearly every song he sings "down a half-step or a whole step." Mariah told Cortez she enjoyed the ballads he performed during Hollywood week and the auditions more, and admitted that he might take the song down a half-step. She said, "I'm not sure the song is you, although you chose it," but he has "a lot more to give vocally."

Oh, Charlie. Even your pre-performance video smacked of desperation, down to the self-mockery of his inability to grow a mustache. He hit the stage in a tie-dyed tank top (gross on so many levels), hair pulled back in a ponytail, and a feather earring, and sang/screamed Mama by Genesis. Honestly, I'm not sure if Charlie is truly earnest in his attempts to play the fool or if this is some side-eyed mockery a la Sanjaya or Norman Gentle. The judges were truly flummoxed. Keith told Charlie he has a huge range and could front a band—and perhaps that's the path he should choose—but the way he performed felt disingenuous and disconnected. (Not to mention, STOP SCREAMING AT ME, CHARLIE!) Nicki asked, "Where's my little baby at? I don't want to see your arms, I don't want to see that earring, and get rid of the mustache immediately. I feel like I lost my kid." She said she didn't know where the "darker thing" was coming from and it upset her. Randy said the front part of the song was terrible, and then it went to scream at the end. "I just didn't get it at all," he admitted. Mariah babbled that she appreciated Charlie's love of classic rock songs, "and maybe you're trying to bring the whole genre back to a new audience," and she enjoys him a lot as a person. Charlie seemed on the verge of tears throughout the judges' feedback, and when Ryan asked him what his motivation was for the performance, he said, "I needed to vent a little bit." He continued, "A lot of people think I'm a buoyant kid, but I smile all the time because I have to." You honestly could have heard a pin drop, and Ryan held it together impressively, praising Charlie's "honesty and courage." First of all, I've been where Charlie is (emotionally, not onstage or in terms of wardrobe), so I know how hard it is to hold it all together. And while I hope he's not as low as he said he was, I think I'd rather he feel that way than believe for a second that this meltdown was even the tiniest bit calculated to get people's sympathy. This boy needs some psychological help and some time out of the camera lens, he doesn't need a few more weeks of tottering on the cracking ice of his psyche.

Nick, why do you continuously underwhelm when you have such a beautiful voice? Props for admitting that "his 20s caught up with him" and caused him to lose his hair, which explains the sartorial choice of hats each week. He returned to the piano and sang a very pretty, creatively styled version of the Goo Goo Dolls' Iris, but at times his voice was swallowed up a bit by the band, and I just kept waiting for it to knock me off the couch. I like him so much, so it's disappointing to think he might not make it in favor of back story and marketability. Keith loved the vulnerability of his tone. Apparently, this is one of Nicki's most favorite songs, so she didn't like that he played with the melody right away, but she said it was "pretty," in his comfort zone, and true to him. Randy liked the whole "Ryan Tedder thing" he had going on but didn't think it was his best performance. He said it left him wondering "who are you, not who you desire to be?" (I feel the same way about you, dawg.) Mariah felt like he "kicked in" at the end.

Burnell trotted out the now-familiar memes—he dropped 40 pounds and his family survived Katrina. He revisited his audition song, I'm Here from the musical version of The Color Purple. He has a very good, very interesting voice, but if someone doesn't stop the downright corny hand gestures I may slap my television. And I'm guessing that there might have been a nostalgia sale at either Merry-Go-Round or Chess King, because Burnell, too, was rocking the stonewashed denim, along with a backward baseball cap. Keith gave him a standing ovation, and said that he believed Burnell when he sang the song's lyrics. He also praised his "instantly recognizable voice." Nicki said "It's pretty obvious you're one of a kind," and once again noted the "struggle and pain" in his voice. Randy said that Burnell captured his attention immediately when he started singing because of the urgency in his voice. Mariah said that his revisiting his audition song (which made her cry then) gave her another tearful moment. Burnell explained he chose to sing the same song because when people saw it during the audition rounds, it was all chopped up, so he wanted people to hear the whole thing.

Apparently Paul has been an extra in music videos for Lady Antebellum, Carrie Underwood and Blake Shelton. He listened to all of the judges' critiques of his last performance and really was going to avoid oversinging this week. He sang Just a Fool by Christina Aguilera and Blake Shelton, and parts of it were fantastic and parts were really over the top. Keith asked Paul what kind of artist he wanted to be, and he explained he wanted to be a pop/country artist, the male counterpart of of Carrie Underwood or Taylor Swift. "So you want to be the guy Taylor?", Keith questioned. "Yes," Paul exclaimed, "If people want me to be!" (You can't show people you're that desperate, Paul.) Keith cautioned him not to underestimate his voice (which I honestly don't understand) and said something about being believable. (What's more believable, naked desperation or fake crying when you're moved by your own performance?) Nicki called it a solid performance, but suggested that Paul listen to Keith, because he knows what he's talking about when it comes to country music. Randy said the beginning of the song was amazing, but explained that Paul changes his tone when he gets vocally intense, and it isn't always pleasant to listen to. Mariah didn't know Paul wanted to be a country/pop artist (so?), but said that he had a "strong instrument." (She said a lot of other things that meant nothing.) Keith ended by saying that Paul is "better than he realizes he is." I'm no singer, but I think when you tell people they're not believable and they underestimate their voice, they probably don't think they're that good, so why tell them they are yet criticize them?

While my love of Lazaro obviously stems from the actual courage he shows every time he has to speak to the judges or Ryan, or how he makes it through every day of his life, I love his amazingly sunny personality and the richness of his voice. He sang the Nina Simone classic Feeling Good, which has been performed on the show by Season 6's Leslie Hunt, Adam Lambert in Season 8 (although he sang Muse's version), Katie Stevens in Season 9, and Hallie Day last season. He may not have the best voice consistently through every performance, but you can't help but be won over by him. I'd honestly rather listen to him all season than some of the other contestants. Nicki said she loved it, and praised that he "put some attitude and your own spin" on the song. Randy said, "He believes! He thinks he's in it to win it and he is!" He also mentioned that you can see Lazaro's "heart light up" when he hits the sweet spot in his voice. Despite the hideous performances that preceded him, Mariah chose to criticize Lazaro, saying that parts of the song were too low for him, but she is impressed at what he's been able to accomplish with his music. (Condescend much?)

I said it last week, I'll say it again. I do not like Curtis one bit. His talent is inarguable, but his lack of humility (he referred to his performance in the top 20 as "epic") makes him totally unappealing. He sang R. Kelly's I Believe I Can Fly, which Season 5 runner-up Katharine McPhee sang, Aaron Kelly (no relation) sang in Season 9, and Jacob Lusk sang in Season 10 (bad video on this clip). Curtis hit some terrific notes, but if we want to criticize Paul's oversinging, this man should have his picture next to the definition of that word. And I know I'm cynical, but the tears seemed just a little too fake to me. All four judges gave him a standing ovation (Randy and Nicki actually stood up before the performance was over), and each went into paroxysms of praise, talking about how Curtis oozes everything positive, there's so much hope in him, that he's "bigger than American Idol" because he makes people feel like they can fly, and has been called by a higher power, etc. The words "Praise God" were even uttered by Randy. The whole thing made me shudder.

Devin sang Somos Novios (It's Impossible), which has been sung by everyone from Perry Como, Andy Williams, and Elvis, to Andrea Bocelli, Christina Aguilera, Luis Miguel, even Katharine McPhee. He really has a terrific voice and is even stronger when he sings in Spanish, as he did again this week. I also felt his emotional connection, which I thought was lacking in his performance of Listen the last time, was very strong. Keith said the beginning of the song was shaky because Devin seemed nervous, but he's such a "good, good singer, so gifted" that he was able to overcome his nerves. Nicki called it "muy bien y perfecto," and said Devin was stepping into his own, even saying that he "looks like a Spanish Ken doll." Randy said that Devin is one of the few guys whose tone he really likes, along with his vibrato, and he called him, "mad cool and mad young." He also proclaimed, "I like this guy!" Mariah called the performance incredible, and praised his ability to "jump between genres and languages." She also said he had tremendous potential to reach an international audience.

Vincent had the pimp spot this week, and sang Boyz II Men's End of the Road and, frankly, it was pretty disappointing. After the performance he gave last week, this week he tried too hard and hit too many bum notes, although he did hit a few pretty spectacular ones as well. Keith said he felt "nerves got on top of your talent," while Nicki explained, "You wasn't sitting on it right tonight." Randy said he overshot a bit, while Mariah babbled, and what I was able to decipher was that Vincent had "moments of brilliance" but she wasn't sure "whether it's time to nitpick." (It's a more appropriate time to nitpick here than, say, in Lazaro's performance.)

I know the producers are all about gender parity, but the truth is, I'd rather see more girls advance to the top 10 than guys, although that won't happen.

My Top 5:
Devin
Lazaro
Nick
Curtis (don't like him but can't argue)
Burnell (ditto)

What Might Happen:
Devin
Lazaro
Curtis
Burnell
Vincent/Elijah/Nick

Tonight, we're back in Hollywood for a protracted 90-minute reveal of the top 10. Plus, I'm assuming there will be wildcards. And, if we're lucky, a poorly choreographed, lip-synced group number. I hope the day just flies...

AI Recap: (Women) Run the World

So I'll admit I've scoffed inwardly—and outwardly—every time one of the judges or Ryan says something about how this is the "girls' season" and how strong the women are versus the guys. But while the show wouldn't know subtlety if it joined the judges panel, after last night's performances, they may actually be right, without manipulation. And while there were arguably seven or eight (depending on your preferences) contestants who did well last night, it will be interesting to see who makes it into the top 10, and who has to rely on the (you know they're coming) wild cards.

Was it part of Mariah's contract that all signs shown from the audience were about her? I counted at least four, including "Mariah is the #1 Idol." Take that, Nicki.

First out of the gate, sporting a brown-auburn wig this week (girlfriend changes her hair more than Nicki Minaj), was last week's "Queen of the Jungle," Zoanette. While she looked almost normal during her pre-taped intro, on stage she was sporting a pair of short shorts that were just wrong. And her rendition of Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do With It (which Lil Rounds sang in Season 8, as did Season 9 semi-finalist Todrick Hall, and Season 10's Naima Adedapo) was nothing short of the train wreck I expected from her last week. She completely made up the lyrics for the first two verses, bounced all over the place, and hit more wonky notes than good ones. To quote Nicki from last week, "Honey child, hell no." Keith called her "theatrical" (gee, you think), and the best he could do was praise her confidence, joy, and exhibitionism. Nicki said she'd always tell Zoanette the truth, and "that wasn't it." She talked about how "regular people" might want her to be on key for the song and might not have liked her performance, although she's still rooting for her. Despite the fact that she's a "spirit leader," Randy called the performance "a mess, babe," and Mariah praised the energy and love that Zoanette gives others, and the fact that she's overcome such struggle (her family left Liberia when she was two—she didn't crawl out on her belly amidst gunfire), and also called her "a bundle of festivities." Oh, yeah, the performance wasn't Mariah's favorite, either.

I love when Ryan has girl talk with the contestants. When he asked Zoanette about her wig and admitted, "I'm no stranger to wefting," it was priceless.

Beautiful and "marketable" Breanna sang Beyonce's Flaws and All, which I'd never heard before. She really has a great ability for choosing songs that show off what her voice can do, but I don't know if this was showy enough to make a lasting impression, given that she sang second and was followed by a lot of bigger performances. But I actually get what the judges said last week about her being a total pop star. Keith praised her song choice, as it shows who she is as a singer, but he wished she could "find a song that takes you into your own place." Nicki totally disagreed, calling it the wrong song and saying that she thought Breanna was straining. She also said she had a "sneaky suspicion" it wouldn't be enough to move her into the top five. Randy said he agreed with himself, calling her song choice "safe" because (surprise) it "didn't have enough moments," but said it felt like it was the eighth or tenth song she'd sing at her concert, just before the finale. Which is something Mariah totally does, yo, as she admitted she does more well-known songs up front and then gives her audiences more "intimate moments" before the finale. Oh, wait, this was about Breanna. She called the song choice "unique," as well as "lyrically raw, simplistic, and real," and said that Breanna's whole package says star quality. Ryan asked Breanna if she was singing the song to anyone, and she admitted it was for "someone special," which caused her mother in the audience to shake her head and say, "No." Hee.

One marketable contestant was followed by another, as it was beautiful Aubrey's turn next. She promised to "show her personality" in her pre-performance banter with Ryan, so she sang Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry, previously trotted out by Season 9's Katie Stevens. It was good and I really like her, but again, she doesn't wow me like some of the other contestants did, although she's another one I could totally see hitting it big. Keith said that Aubrey's vibrato was so beautiful, but he wished she "could soar more" vocally. Nicki, too, loved the vibrato, as well as her humility, because Aubrey is so beautiful yet doesn't act like she knows that's the case. Randy called her "current and infectious," said that Aubrey gives him a Rihanna vibe in her softer moments. Mariah praised her "multi-platinum potential" and told her she could be a big star in the industry.

Janelle talked about how tough last week was, when she should have been was nearly eliminated, and she learned that "one performance makes a difference." (Not when you're one of the chosen ones, sugar.) She sang Elvis' If I Can Dream, which Elliott Yamin took on in Season 5. She sounded almost Jewel-esque, and while I still don't quite think she's at the level of some of the other contestants (especially Kree), I didn't hate it, although some of the bigger notes were wobbly. Keith praised her "classic country voice blended with modern country runs," whatever that meant. Nicki called Janelle "a little marshmallow I want to eat" (what is this woman smoking during commercial breaks?), said it was the best vocal of the night to that point, and said she wanted some "good old country producers and writers to get a hold of you," because "the sky's the limit." Randy liked her "modern throwback sound," calling her a "modern Patsy Cline," while Mariah had nothing to say about the vocal but praised her "America's Sweetheart type of thing." Never one to shy away from camp, Ryan said, "If you want s'more of little marshmallow Janelle..."

Camp Mariah's own Tenna listened (sort of) to Nicki's advice about her hair but of course, didn't shave it off. She sang Faith Hill's Lost, and like last week, I really liked some of her phrasing and intonation choices, but it wasn't ultimately memorable for me. In a season they weren't cutting it to five girls, I think she could have a chance, but I don't see it here unless the judges help her along a bit. Keith said she did a really good job, but cautioned her not to let the camera pull her emotion, because her performance became "a little cabaret" when the camera was on her. Nicki liked Tenna's hair this week, and her boobs, which caused Randy to sputter and pretend he was shocked, so Nicki retorted, "Shut up, Randy, you goody two shoes." Despite all of that, Nicki worried that Tenna's personality doesn't jump out at the audience. Mariah praised her little protegé's power register, as well as the fullness and richness of her voice. She said, "I love you and I hope America loves you, too." (Mariah was unamused when Ryan quipped, "Both Nicki and Mariah like your fullness, Tenna.")

Our favorite original songstress, Angie, decided to take to the piano this week and sing Never Gone, by last season's Colton Dixon. It was a pretty shrewd song choice, as she was sending a message that she's down with the Christian rock thing, too. I thought she was pretty fantastic—I love her voice and the way she shifts between bombastic and softer moments. If the judges don't overpraise her every week, she's going pretty far. Keith serenaded her with a brief snippet of Angie, and then told her that when she plays the piano she sounds her truest. Nicki said that "trumpets should sound when you walk in the room," and said, "Nigel, Mike Darnell, can I just have her album already? I want an acoustic album." She also said "one vote of the top five has already been taken." (Careful when you assume, Nicki. I'm willing to bet the judges thought Joshua Ledet would win last season.) Randy proclaimed, "America, a star is born," and then said, "This Angie girl is going places." He called her "the right thing in the right way." Never one to let a dead horse go unbeaten, Mariah once again praised Angie's original song from weeks ago, but said she was blown away.

Amber didn't wow me last week, but she certainly did this week. Singing Whitney Houston's I Believe in You and Me, which Jennifer Hudson sang in Season 3's wildcard round, Melinda Doolittle sang in Season 6, and Erika Van Pelt sang last season, she made the song look almost effortless. Her range was terrific, as was her control and power, but if I could change anything, I wish that she had actually held some of the notes, as it almost seemed rushed. All four judges gave her a standing ovation, and Keith called it a perfect song, although he said he wished (wait for it) "I could have heard you hold a few notes, because there were a lot of runs." (I swear I wrote my comments down before Keith said them.) Nicki called it a "10 billion quatrillion madillion" and said her vocals have surpassed anyone else's in the competition. Randy said, "I do believe, y'all, Amber is in it to win it! That girl believes!" Mariah said she had been waiting for Amber to sing all night, and said that she didn't "take on" Whitney Houston (a word choice used by Ryan and Nicki), but "paid homage" to her, and "sang your behind off." Ryan called her performance "one of those great moments we like to see." (Wait, who asked him?)

Have I mentioned how much I love Kree? She sang Faith Hill's Stronger, and was absolutely amazing. She reminds me of a less unorthodox Crystal Bowersox, in her effortless, natural talent, although Kree has a huge vocal range. Keith gave her a standing ovation and said he loves to hear her sing. He proved his musical mettle by praising Kree's ability that she hit an F-sharp above high C when singing a song that's in the key of B (hey, just be impressed I was able to record that), and told Kree that she fits in with country vocalists Patsy Cline, Martina McBride, Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, and Trisha Yearwood. Nicki said, "You already know you're my wife," and told her "your sexiness went up another level." Kree showed her playful side by saying, "I'm just trying to do my wife proud." Randy was befuddled by the talk of betrothal, but called Kree "another one that's in it to win it!" He said he is learning, listening to her sing, and that while he agrees with Keith that her voice belongs with other country greats, she can sing anything. "How can you top that," Mariah asked. She said she loves the "undeniable thing you have." I just hope people love her personality enough not to pass her over for some of the showier contestants, because in the battle of the country singers she slays Janelle hands down.

Our pint-sized Alaskan cutie, Adriana, sang Destiny's Child's Stand Up for Love. I liked it but know she could have done more with the song, although she did power through some big notes. I think she was expecting the judges to react better to her performance. (I was, too, honestly.) Keith said it took her too long to show off her vocal power. Nicki said that after Angie, Amber, and Kree, she should "work a little bit and come back next year." (Can she at this point? I don't think so.) She said that Adriana didn't connect at the beginning of the song, and called the performance "pageanty." (I guess "pageanty" is the female "theatrical.") Randy also called it safe and pageanty, and said, "You needed to slay it and you didn't." Mariah was literally unintelligible in her quest not to parrot Nicki's comments. She called the song, "a traditional song you would hear at a big event — and this is a big event — but I wish you had chosen something less overproduced." (Meaning, "It was pageanty.")

Candice closed the show, and in addition to her amazing vocals, I just love the confidence she brings to her performances. She absolutely slayed John Legend's Ordinary People, and Keith, Randy, and Mariah gave her a standing ovation. The judges were in a hurry, so Keith could only call her performance, "superb, so now, so current," while Nicki simply saluted her. "That's my comment," she proclaimed. Randy called the performance "ridiculous," because "you sang notes no one understands," and told her she has one of the best voices in the entire competition. Mariah thanked Candice for sharing her gift with us. I just hope that her confidence doesn't translate to, or turn into, cockiness.

All in all, it was an impressive show. Four of the five slots seem like locks to me, while the fifth can go to several contestants. I just hope that the whole Zoanette farce ends Thursday night, although I have a feeling that unless someone stronger gets left out, the judges will give her a wild card.

My Top Five:
Kree
Candice
Amber
Angie
Janelle

What Could Happen:
Candice
Amber
Angie
Kree
Aubrey or Janelle or Breanna

Let's hope the guys surprise tonight, too. Let's just say my expectations range somewhere between "unlikely" and "why do I have to watch this?"

Book Review: "Ghostman" by Roger Hobbs

"I am physically average in every respect. I suppose that's my talent and always has been. It's the one thing I've ever been good at...I have never been fingerprinted. I have never been arrested or detained. I don't have a real Social Security number, driver's license, or passport. My bank account is a ten-digit number with no name on it in some computer in the South Pacific, which I'll never visit. I'd burned the only copy of my high school records right after I graduated."

So says the narrator of Roger Hobbs' great new novel, Ghostman, a person who is sometimes named Jack. "Jack" is a ghostman in criminal parlance, a person who can assume nearly any identity flawlessly, blend in with whatever crowds necessary, do what must be done, and change his appearance again. He's been involved in the world of heists and scores for a while now, and no one knows his real name or what he looks like. In fact, no one knows how to reach him directly—a person trying to contact him has their email bounced from server to server all over the world before he receives the message.

With all of that subterfuge, it's more than a surprise when he hears from the man who masterminded the only heist he was involved in that went horribly wrong—and it was Jack's fault. This time, his old contact is looking for Jack to square his debt. Two men held up an armored truck in the midst of delivering a Federal Reserve payload to an Atlantic City casino. It was supposed to be a foolproof plan, yet once the smoke cleared, one of the robbers is dead, and the other is in the wind, with $1.2 million in stolen money in tow. And there's one other tiny problem—because this cash came from the Federal Reserve, it's going to blow up in less than 48 hours unless it's returned to the authorities.

Jack finds himself en route to Atlantic City from Seattle in a million dollar private plane, and from the moment he lands, he has one task—find the money before it literally explodes, causing trouble for the man who masterminded the robbery. But Jack has a mind of his own, and his independent streak takes him to the heart of a war between two dangerous and powerful men, and somehow there's a dogged FBI agent on his trail, even though he really has no way of leaving a trail. It's a tense, action-packed two days ahead, and Jack must keep his wits and his skills about him at all times.

Ghostman follows Jack's hunt for the money and the missing perpetrator, and his efforts to outsmart and outlast everyone. His motives are much simpler than anyone would expect, which makes him a loose cannon. And as the story unfolds, it is interspersed with Jack's reflecting on the one heist that went wrong, which has put him in the middle of the fray in Atlantic City.

I really enjoyed this book and think Jack is a tremendously intriguing character who reminds me a little bit of Lee Child's Jack Reacher (although a slightly more cerebral version). The opening scenes—and a number of the battles he has in the book—read like a movie, like they're unfolding in front of your eyes. Even though some of the characters may be a little stereotypical—the dogged yet beautiful FBI agent, the thugs with neo-Nazi and prison tattoos—it didn't damper my enjoyment of the book and my desire to see just exactly how Hobbs would tie everything up.

If you're a fan of crime novels, definitely pick this one up. You'll find yourself hooked pretty quickly, and all you'll wish for is enough free time to read it from start to finish.

Hey! I am your father...

For the Schoolhouse Rock fans, and the fans of Star Wars (and those of us who love both), here's a terrific mash-up of the classic "Interjections" (which mean excitement, or emotion...) and the classic trilogy.

Enjoy...and may the laughs be with you! (Sorry, that was a little Mel Brooks-ian...)