Lowered Expectations...

Back when MadTV was on the air, there was a sketch that appeared fairly regularly for a while, which poked fun at dating services. (Remember the days before Match.Com, eHarmony, Zoosk and Grindr?) The dating service was called "Lowered Expectations," and seemed to have every type of misfit as a potential date, from convicts to mail-order brides, and everyone in between. The general premise was that when you were that desperate, you needed to lower your expectations and settle for what you could get.

Now, I'm not in the dating situation described above, but I could use some lowered expectations where people's behavior is concerned. Believe me, I don't expect people to do extraordinary things. However, I do expect people—particularly family and close friends—to act as I try to, in a considerate and unselfish way. (When I tell some people this, they say "I'll bet you want world peace, too.")

I pride myself on trying to bend over backwards for people, to reach out to those who need encouragement, congratulations, advice or support. But all too often, people don't return the favor, and it's hard not to get frustrated or disappointed. I've always been told to behave as you'd like others to behave toward you, but no one ever mentioned you couldn't expect them to!

Trying to lower your expectations isn't the easiest thing to do. But I've found that when I expect people to behave as they normally do, not as I'd necessarily like them to, I don't spend as much time disappointed or frustrated, which means I'm more fun to be around. And when people behave the way I'd like them to, imagine the surprise!

But before you leave this post either impressed or skeptical, consider this: because I say I'm lowering my expectations, it doesn't mean it actually happens all the time. So if anyone has any good advice there, you know where to find me!

Book Review: "Road Dogs" by Elmore Leonard

Elmore Leonard is one of those authors, like Stephen King, John Grisham, Joyce Carol Oates or Jeffery Deaver, whose ability to churn out novels on a regular basis is truly amazing. Sometimes I can barely muster the creativity for a blog post, and they're turning out novel after novel.

Leonard's latest brings together characters from three previous books: Jack Foley (George Clooney's character) from Out of Sight, Cundo Rey from La Brava and Dawn Navarro from Riding the Rap. Foley and Rey meet in prison and become "road dogs," trusted jailhouse comrades watching each other's back. Out of friendship, Cundo pays his attorney to get Foley's sentence reduced from 30 years to 3 months, and, upon Foley's release, asks him to keep an eye on Dawn Navarro, the psychic who is Cundo's common-law wife. Dawn, of course, has other plans for Foley. From that moment on, the twists come so fast and furious, at times you can't quite tell who's doing what to whom and why...and then Cundo is released earlier than expected.

When this book was on, it was great; sadly, though, it isn't always firing on all cylinders. And while Foley and Dawn's characters are tremendously layered, I felt as if many of the supporting characters, including Cundo and Foley's FBI nemesis, Lou Adams, were a little more stereotypical. But Leonard's dialogue and the twists he throws in this novel are still worth your time.

The End of an Era...

Change is scary. Especially when you're entrenched in a situation. But you always hear that the best time to make a big change is when you're completely comfortable. And so, Friday was my last day at my job. Having been there nearly five years—and spending four of those in the same job—it was, as Peter Brady said, "time to change."

Tuesday I start a brand new job, my first one outside of the nonprofit field (not counting my time working retail and cooking), so it will hopefully prove to be a completely new experience for me. Of course, nothing is quite perfect, so the commute should prove to be slightly more challenging than my current going-against-traffic trip, but my hope is that I'll find this job less emotionally taxing, which will help me handle the traffic stress a little better.

The nearly five years I spent at IDSA weren't always perfect, but the opportunity to represent a field as exciting as industrial design (not to mention being able to dress casually every day) was pretty fantastic. I had the chance to meet people who designed some products that impact our lives—from my former boss, who designed the first BlackBerry that looked like a cell phone, to the person who led the team that designed the CD jewel case. And in 2007, I met the man who, 60 years ago, designed the Kikkoman soy sauce bottle. How cool is that?

Of course, what I'll miss most is the relationships I developed. Many of us spend more time at the office than at home, so your colleagues become your surrogate family. And I was tremendously fortunate to build friendships with some fantastically funny, smart and giving people. We laughed, we threw tantrums sometimes (maybe that was just me), we worked hard, we ate (a lot) and we had so much fun throughout the years. While I look forward to getting to know my new colleagues, I'll be taking a lot of memories with me.

So...on to the next chapter of my life. But as I look forward, to those of you who made my nearly five years at IDSA so memorable, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The Truth Doesn't Have to be True...

As the number of media outlets in the world has grown, so has the number of people who tout themselves as experts. And with the ever-expanding number of media outlets comes the pressure to attract new listeners, viewers or readers.

What to do? The favorite strategy of commentators, politicians and nonprofit "advocates" is to create their own special, sensational brand of truth. This isn't truth that actually contains any facts, but rather truth designed to provoke passionate reaction, particularly anger and/or outrage. From Rudy Giuliani's assertion that no terrorist attack occurred on US soil during George W. Bush's presidency (guess he forgot about 9/11) to Sarah Palin's recent accusation that President Obama won't discipline BP for their negligence in the recent oil spill because big oil was a powerful donor to his presidential campaign (Palin has actually received triple the money from big oil than Obama and the Democratic Party), these "truths" come fast and furious, and are rarely checked or challenged by the mainstream media. And this is why people still want to see President Obama's birth certificate...

But I digress. Earlier this week, Bryan Fischer of the right-wing American Family Association truly crossed the truth equator with assessments he made on his radio show:

"So Hitler himself was an active homosexual. And some people wonder, didn't the Germans, didn't the Nazis, persecute homosexuals? And it is true they did; they persecuted effeminate homosexuals. But Hitler recruited around him homosexuals to make up his Stormtroopers, they were his enforcers, they were his thugs. And Hitler discovered that he could not get straight soldiers to be savage and brutal and vicious enough to carry out his orders, but that homosexual solders basically had no limits and the savagery and brutality they were willing to inflict on whomever Hitler sent them after. So he surrounded himself, virtually all of the Stormtroopers, the Brownshirts, were male homosexuals."

I am beyond the capacity to understand what people like Fischer have to gain with accusations like these, except to incite hate, prejudice and violence against gay people. And isn't one conservative argument against letting openly gay people serve in the military that they won't be effective soldiers? But Fischer clearly thinks that only gay people can be cutthroat, so which is it? Is the new brand of gay soldier 100 percent weaker than their historical predecessors?

Doesn't the media have any responsibility to challenge these so-called truths? Who can police the "experts"? If this is what passes for news and information these days, will out-and-out false accusations not be too far behind? It's scary to think that the further we move away from the days of McCarthyism, where a simple rumor could ruin a person's life, we never stray too far from obfuscation of the truth.

Book Review: "The Lonely Polygamist" by Brady Udall

As hard as it may be to believe, Golden Richards is lonely. Golden has four wives and 28 children, but he's never been lonelier in his life. He is mired in a controversial construction job that, if discovered, could bring disgrace to him and his family; he knows his wives and children are looking to him more and more for guidance but he can't avoid them quickly enough; he is still mourning the loss of one of his daughters several years ago; and he has begun a tantalizing flirtation with Huila, a Guatemalan woman who doesn't know about his real life. He is so afraid of letting everyone down but wants nothing more than to run away and avoid the crushing responsibilities.

The Lonely Polygamist is a humorous, heartbreaking, frustrating and beautifully written novel that looks at the realities of polygamy through the eyes of Golden; Trish, his fourth wife; and Rusty, one of his sons, who doesn't quite fit in and wants to be unique, not just one of 28 children. Brady Udall has done a terrific job creating compelling characters and a story that provides deep perspectives into what has brought Golden to this lonely crossroads in his life. While sometimes Golden is a little too passive and you want to react to him the way his wives want to, at his core you see that this is a man desperate for love and approval who is fearful of making a wrong turn but unsure what else to do.

The literary world has billed this book as the next Great American Novel. I don't think it's quite at that level, but it is a really well-written book with a lot of heart, one that is definitely worth reading.

Down to the Wire...

Wednesday night is the finale of the ninth season of American Idol. While much has been written about this season's failings—Simon Cowell's obvious boredom, the group of relatively lackluster contestants and performances, the majority of themes being a retread from previous seasons, the judges' more-contradictory-than-usual feedback—the show still continues to draw very strong ratings.

Having watched the show since the middle of the first season, I'll admit I've been less than enthused this year. While Tuesday's final showdown between Crystal Bowersox and Lee Dewyze is one I'm looking forward to watching more than any final pairing in years, I'm growing more tired of the show. From the judges' increasingly annoying behavior and lack of respect for the contestants, Ryan Seacrest's trying to create "moments" where there are none, and the control preteen and tween girls seem to have on the show's results, I'm starting to think that Idol is moving past its prime.

While I'm rooting for Crystal Bowersox to win, I have a feeling that the judges' none-too-subtle "pimping" for Lee Dewyze, plus his clear appeal to the show's core female audience, will propel him toward the win. I think Lee is talented, and his win won't disappoint me, but I feel that once again the producers are trying to manipulate the show toward what they think is best rather than letting the audience decide. But that seemed to backfire in the last two seasons, with David Cook and Kris Allen surprisingly defeating favorites David Archuleta and Adam Lambert, so it will be interesting to see what happens Wednesday night.

So until then, "Mama Sox" rocks! (And if you don't believe me, check out this performance, or any of her others on YouTube.)

Reading, Writing and Radical Conservativism...

Yesterday the Texas State Board of Education adopted a statewide social studies and history curriculum that amends or waters down the teaching of the civil rights movement and religious freedoms, among other things, and calls for the addition of many conservative issues, such as the Moral Majority, the National Rifle Association and the Republican surge of the mid-1990s.

The new standards were adopted after two 9-5 votes along party lines, and they now will be taught to some 4.8 million students over the next decade. But even more disturbing is the fact that also will be used by textbook publishers who often develop materials for other states based on guidelines approved in Texas.

Any reference to "slave trade" in early American history will be replaced by the words "American Triangular Trade," a move that clearly minimizes slavery's impact on our nation. And the standards water down the rationale for the separation of church and state, arguing that the words were not in the Constitution. These standards also required students to evaluate efforts by global organizations such as the United Nations to undermine US sovereignty, using the always-popular conservative argument that those who disagree with the right are un-American.

Maybe I'm naive, but we're now letting the political beliefs of some determine the education of our children? Make no mistake, many Republican school board members are unapologetically proud of what they've accomplished. Said board member David Bradley:

"We took our licks, we got outvoted," he said referring to the debate from 10 years earlier. "Now it's 10-5 in the other direction ... we're an elected body, this is a political process. Outside that, go find yourself a benevolent dictator."

Benevolent dictator? Aren't we supposed to concentrate on teaching children?

News like this makes me scared for the future. Between constitutional bans on gay marriage and gay adoption in many states to Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell's recent decision not to mandate protection from discrimination in cases of sexual orientation, from the Arizona immigration laws to the growing power of the Tea Party movement, I really don't like the direction in which our country is moving. And while I recognize this is only my opinion, when we start mandating what our children learn in school based on political philosophy, we're headed down a slippery slope that fear won't end here.