Book Review: "Out East: Memoir of a Montauk Summer" by John Glynn

Self-esteem can be a powerful weapon, but a lack of it can cause us more problems than we could ever imagine. At age 27, John Glynn was seriously suffering from a general feeling of unworthiness, a debilitating sense of loneliness that he couldn't explain, nor could he determine its source. He wondered if he would ever find someone to love, someone to be with, and if he did, would they love him back? His parents told him to be patient, but with many of his college friends pairing up, he worried that happiness might be unlikely.

John had always been driven by companionship and camaraderie, even growing up with his cousins. So in 2013, when the opportunity arose to join a few friends in a share house in Montauk, he jumped at it, and little did he know how much it would change his life.

The house, nicknamed the Hive, slept up to 31 people, and was a hub of activity every summer weekend. It didn't take John to feel like he was fitting in on his weekends at the Hive, maneuvering between different groups of friends, helping them with their own relationship-related crises, and spending the majority of the days in a sunburned, drunken haze. But there still was a nagging, almost paralyzing feeling that something—and someone—was missing, and it threatened to derail all of his happiness that summer.

But then he met another new member of the Hive, and things started to come into focus for John for the first time. With this new connection came a feeling of happiness, of possibility, but at the same time, new anxieties cropped up, accompanied by his old friend, unworthiness. John isn't sure what all of this means and he's afraid of the upheaval pursuing this person could cause, but he also can't imagine the possibility of not doing so.

Out East is a moving story about a man's struggle to find himself and his self-worth, and discover that until he believes himself deserving of love he might never find it. At the same time it's a tremendously compelling look at how our relationships with family and friends throughout our childhood influence what we search for in adulthood. I also was struck by the fact that a young man who appeared to have it all from the outside—good looks, a good job, a loving and supportive family, a friendly personality—could struggle so much with believing he was worthy.

While it is a memoir, I found Out East to provide a tremendously entertaining look at the culture of excess that pervades many house shares in areas like the Hamptons. It felt like watching a soap opera or reality program in which these confident, beautiful people who appear to have it all are as much a mess as everyone else (if not more), and their drunken escapades. There are relationship crises galore, hook-ups, and fun memories to observe from the reader's vantage point, all of which made me glad I'm older and perhaps a little sad I didn't experience this lifestyle at least once in my life, even in a minor way.

I really enjoyed this book. Glynn didn't pull any punches in sharing his emotions or how he might have been perceived during that time, and his honesty really shined through. He's a terrific writer because he even made me care about people with whom I had barely anything in common, and I wondered what would come of them in the future.

If you're looking for a terrific memoir that feels like a beach read, pick up Out East. You may feel like you wandered into a frat party, but you'll discover so much more if you stay.