After Cam's boyfriend Kai dies, he desperately needs to leave Los Angeles, to escape the memories and the guilt he feels. He returns to Houston, where he grew up, and tries to build a new life for himself. But the same feelings and habits follow him there, and it's not long before Cam is on a path of self-destruction, dealing with drug addiction, uncontrolled promiscuity, and an eating disorder. And to top it off, Kai's ghost won't leave him alone—sometimes taunting him, sometimes nurturing him.
In the midst of his emotional and physical chaos, Cam runs into TJ, his childhood best friend and surrogate brother, and he visits TJ's family's bakery, where he used to work as a teenager. The two have been estranged since Cam left for Los Angeles, and there's a tremendous amount of tension and unspoken resentment between them. But even with TJ's anger and hurt toward Cam, he can't stand by and let him destroy himself. Yet how do you help a person who doesn't believe they need help?
The story follows both Cam and TJ, flashing back to their teenage years and their estrangement, as well as the history of Cam's relationship with Kai. There's also a section focused on Kai and his tenuous relationship with his own family, as well as his perspectives on his relationship with Cam. The prose is luminous, the emotions are palpable, and like life, so much tension exists because of things that go unsaid. The book is also pretty sexual, although the scenes aren't long.
"With every single person we touch, we're leaving parts of ourselves. We live through them."
I've read both of Bryan Washington's previous books, Lot and Memorial, and I've been impressed with his storytelling ability, even though neither book completely worked for me. But this book really packed a powerful punch for me.
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