Book Review: "Two Women Walk Into a Bar" by Cheryl Strayed

Sounds like the setup to a joke, doesn’t it? But this story by Cheryl Strayed definitely packs an emotional punch.

Cheryl and her husband Brian get the news that Brian’s mother Joan is dying. It’s not unexpected news but obviously it’s still a blow, and it causes major upheaval in their lives. As they work on moving Joan into the assisted living facility in her community, Cheryl reflects on their relationship, nearly 20 years to the day that Cheryl first met Joan.

“Over the previous two decades, we’d come to love each other, but it was a particular, conditional sort of love, one based on circumstance and courtesy rather than connection and compatibility.”

Like many relationships between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there was always a note of competition between the two, fighting for superiority in Brian’s life. Joan praised Cheryl, but always with qualifiers or slight condescension. (She once said, “You’re big, but you’re firm. Like sculpted butter.”) Joan was always a small reminder of Cheryl’s mother, who died of cancer when Cheryl was much younger.

This was beautifully told, full of humorous and poignant moments. Cheryl not only has to process her own emotions in the wake of Joan’s impending death, but also be sensitive to Brian’s grief, and help their two young children comprehend the loss of the only grandparent they’d ever known.

If you’ve recently experienced loss, this may be a bit triggering for you. But as always, I’m struck by Strayed’s storytelling ability, making you care about people you don’t know.