Why not just say, "No, thank you"?

I realize, that much as we were told back in the day, that it takes different strokes to move the world. But try as I might, sometimes I just don't understand why people find the need to act like total jerks.

A woman in Baldwin, New York, decided she didn't want her seven-year-old son to attend his classmate Sophia's birthday party.

Does she not approve of tie-dye parties because the 70s are over? Does she think that at this age, boys shouldn't go to little girls' birthday parties?

No, none of those things. She didn't want her son to attend the party because Sophia is raised by her gay fathers.

But instead of showing her son how to handle things with class, this mother wrote on the invitation, "Tommy will NOT attend. I do not believe in what you do and will not subject my innocent son to your 'lifestyle.' I'm sorry Sophia has to grow up this way. If you have an issue or need to speak to me: [number erased]."

Seriously. As misguided as I clearly think it is to penalize a little girl for who her parents are (much as I'd like to penalize this woman's son), why was this behavior necessary? This wasn't a party where the kids were going to a same-sex marriage ceremony, a food bank helping people with AIDS, or a Human Rights Campaign Fund event. This was a little girl's birthday party. I'd wager a guess that the so-called "lifestyle" of this girl's fathers would have closely resembled everyone else's.

If there's a bright spot, when this story was originally posted on Huffington Post, the woman's phone number was still listed on her response. I'd be willing to bet she got more than a few phone calls from people telling her what they thought of her behavior.

Raising your child in the midst of ignorance and prejudice will do more harm than going to the birthday party of a girl with two dads.

Book Review: "The Returned" by Jason Mott

Most, if not all of us, have had this thought one time or another. What if a person we had lost suddenly returned to us? In Jason Mott's emotionally provocative and intriguing novel, The Returned, the world is confronting this question.

Suddenly, and without warning, people are returning from the dead, at the same age and condition they were in prior to their death. All over the world these people, referred to as "the Returned," are showing up, most often in vastly different places than where they died, looking for those they knew and loved. No one is quite sure what to make of this—are the Returned a blessing, a chance to relive lives lost, or are they the devil in disguise?

It was the day of Jacob Hargrave's eighth birthday party in 1966 when he slipped away from the party and tragically drowned. His parents, Lucille and Harold, spent the next several decades mourning and remembering their son, and comfortably settling into curmudgeonly old age. When Jacob is returned to them, they are unprepared to raise an eight-year-old boy at their age, but his return reawakens Lucille's maternal instincts, as well as Harold's unease, and his questions—is this Jacob really their son? How can this be when he buried him himself? And will they lose him again?

The vast number of the Returned across the globe has brought the world to the brink of insanity, with those returning simply wanting to pick up their lives where they left off, while Tea Party-like movements representing the "true living" start to fear that the Returned might someday outnumber those who have never died. Harold and Lucille's small North Carolina hometown of Arcadia becomes the center of both movements, as the federal government begins assembling internment-type camps for the Returned, while the resentment of some of their neighbors toward the Returned becomes increasingly dangerous.

Just a few days before what would have been my beloved grandmother's 100th birthday, the thought of how wonderful it would be to spend more time with those I've lost is fairly fresh in my mind. The Returned explores many of the emotional responses people might have to such an occurrence—what do you do if the love if your life returned but you moved on after their death? After facing the hurt of loss, are you willing to reopen your heart again to the uncertain possibility of more hurt and loss? Can you blindly love these people even if you're not sure if they're really those you've lost?

I loved the premise of this book and the emotions Mott explored. While, obviously, the main idea of the book is farfetched, he was fairly accurate in dealing with how people would react to such a phenomenon. I only wish the book hadn't spent so much time on brief vignettes of others who had returned at the expense of the Hargraves' story. And while inevitable, I wasn't as interested in all that the government did to deal with these people, or the inevitable confrontation with the irate citizens, although it did bring out some beautiful and emotionally poignant surprises.

This is a tremendously thought provoking book, and Jason Mott is a very talented writer who has created a book worthy of being discussed and debated. I wish it had gripped me more on the whole given the beauty of its central premise, but I still enjoyed reading it.

Oh, Cheerios!!

Don't know if you heard about all the hubbub surrounding a commercial for Cheerios featuring a mixed race family, which received an inordinate amount of backlash on YouTube, so bad that the comments section needed to be closed.

What is wrong with people in our world in 2013? Prior to the closure, the comment section had been filled "with references to Nazis, 'troglodytes' and 'racial genocide,'" according to Adweek. Commenters on the cereal's Facebook page also said they found the commercial "disgusting" and that it made them "want to vomit." Other hateful commenters expressed shock that a black father would stay with his family. Seriously.

In case you hadn't seen it, here's the original commercial, called "Just Checking."


A comedian has developed a spoof of the original commercial sure to get the haters' tongues wagging. (I mean, One Million Moms—or the one mom sending out a million protest emails—is busy concentrating all their hatred on Kraft's new "Let's Get Zesty" campaign, but they'll catch on eventually.)

Here's the spoof:


Bravo to General Mills for standing firm in the face of ridiculous ignorance and hatred. Now, let's all go have a bowl of Cheerios.

Stop. This. Madness. NOW.

This is a picture of Mark Carson. He was 32 years old.

Last Friday night, Mark Carson and a friend were walking in Greenwich Village in New York City, when he was approached by a man, Elliot Morales. Morales asked them, "Are you afraid? Do you watch the news? Do you know what happened in Sandy Hook?" according to the New York Post.

He then asked Carson, "Do you want to die here?" Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said.

Police said Morales called Carson a "faggot" and a "queer" before shooting him in the cheek. Mark Carson died.

Morales rolled around "laughing on the ground" and proudly told officers "Yeah, I shot him in the head" as he was arrested five blocks away from where Carson was killed. Morales is being charged with second-degree murder as a hate crime.

This is Nick Porto and his partner, Kevin Atkins.

In early May, they were assaulted on Eighth Avenue, between West 34th and West 35th Street at about 5 p.m. Porto said that he and Atkins were walking arm-in-arm down Eighth Avenue after a leisurely brunch when a group of men he said were in their early-to-mid 20s and wearing Knicks jerseys started shouting slurs at the couple.

"They called us faggots," said Porto. When he turned around and asked why they were shouting at him, the group of men knocked the pair to the ground and began to violently kick and punch them, he said. Porto was left with a broken nose and severe headaches.

This is NYC nightlife promoter Dan Contarino. Last night, Contarino was jumped at Avenue D & 4th Street. Allegedly, witnesses are reporting the assailant was yelling "faggot" as he was kicking and beating Dan. Neighbors rushed to Dan's aid and chased after the attacker but unfortunately he got away.

Contarino had to have emergency surgery, although his life is not in danger.

Around 5:20 a.m. this morning, a couple, ages 41 and 42, were walking on Broadway near Prince Street when two men began yelling anti-gay slurs. A physical altercation ensued and one of the victims suffered an eye injury, police said. Fabian Ortiz and Pedro Jiminez were arrested and are being charged with third degree assault as a hate crime.

When does this stop? This rash of violence is alarming. But what is more alarming is the behavior that fuels these attacks. While in this day and age people expect the Westboro Baptist Church to blame "the fags" for every major disaster in our world, what isn't acceptable are the lawmakers and clergy and athletes and sportscasters and others who believe that gay people are somehow less worthy than "regular" people.

Take Pastor E.W. Jackson, who said that gay people are psychologically sick. "Their minds are perverted, they’re frankly very sick people psychologically, mentally and emotionally and they see everything through the lens of homosexuality. When they talk about love they’re not talking about love, they’re talking about homosexual sex. So they can’t see clearly."

Pastor Jackson is the Republican candidate for lieutenant governor in Virginia.

Gay people are not less than, not inferior, not unworthy, not abominable, not sick, not anything more than human beings. No one deserves to be attacked or screamed at or shot or killed for who they are, something they cannot change. But the more our society continues to give those who speak with tongues of bigotry and ignorance and hatred and small-mindedness a voice, a pulpit, a platform, a job representing us, people out there will take those words as a reason to foment violence.

I've said it so many times before, but I will not stop saying it. WE DESERVE BETTER. And we need to demand it. People's rights are not up for debate. And people's safety shouldn't be dependent upon whom they love or how they walk or dress or anything.

Truly a "suitable example"...

Don't know if you've seen or heard about this, but Jennifer Livingston, a news anchor for Wisconsin television station WKBT, recently confronted—while on air—a viewer email accusing her of not being a "suitable example" for people because of her weight.

Said Livingston: "To the person who wrote me that letter — do you think I don't know that? That your cruel words are pointing out something that I don't see?...You don't know me. You are not a friend of mine. You are not a part of my family. And you have admitted that you don't watch this show. So you know nothing about me but what you see on the outside. And I am much more than a number on the scale."

Livingston tells her bully that the bad things he's doing will likely be passed down to his kids: "If you are at home and talking about the fat news lady, guess what? Your children are probably going to go to school and call someone fat."

She concludes: "I will never be able to thank you enough for your words of support, and for taking a stand against this bully. We are better than that email. We are better than the bullies that will try to take us down."

The video has gone viral since it showed up on YouTube, and has already caught Ellen DeGeneres' attention (among others), so I'd expect to see Jennifer Livingston making the media rounds soon. And deservedly so.

People, no one gives you the right to judge anyone else. It's fine if you don't agree with a person's opinions or beliefs. But once you criticize a person's appearance, you step into unacceptable territory. We are all human beings. It's time we all act like that.

You're only free to talk about what I want you to talk about...

This is Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo. He is an outspoken advocate for marriage equality, appearing in videos for the Human Rights Campaign and Marylanders for Marriage Equality.

While Ayanbadejo is one of several courageous NFL players who have expressed their support loudly and proudly for marriage equality, apparently his stance doesn't sit well with Maryland House of Delegates member Emmett Burns,Jr. So much so, in fact, that Burns sent a letter to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti asking him to stop Ayanbadejo from speaking about marriage equality.

Said Burns:

"I find it inconceivable that one of your players, Mr. Brendon Ayanbadejo would publicly endorse Same-Sex marriage, specifically as a Raven Football player. Many of my constituents and your football supporters are appalled and aghast that a member of the Ravens Football Team would step into this controversial divide and try to sway public opinion one way or the other.

"Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment and excitement.," Burns wrote. "I believe Mr. Ayanbadejo should concentrate on football and steer clear of dividing the fan base.

"I am requesting that you take the necessary action, as a National Football League Owner, to inhibit such expressions from your employees and that he be ordered to cease and desist such injurious actions. I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing."

I cannot believe the audacity of a lawmaker, writing to a business owner to stop one of his employees from expressing his opinions publicly. What country do we live in?

Isn't it interesting how some people who talk about how important it is to protect freedom of speech only want to uphold that freedom if people are expressing viewpoints they agree with?

Well, Ayanbadejo isn't cowed by Burns' cowardly, ignorant tactics. In fact, he's happy that Burns is calling more public attention to marriage equality. But he was surprised by Burns' actions, saying:

"For somebody to try to take that away from me I was pretty surprised, from a politician especially. People get fired for saying the things that the delegate said. People lose their jobs for discrimination...I think that whoever voted for him has their right to vote for who they believe represents their values. And if he represents their values, he's the best person for the job. If Obama represents the best values for the country, he deserves the job."

And even better, Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe, another advocate for marriage equality (he's been very outspoken about the battle for marriage quality in Minnesota), wrote a very colorful letter to Burns, which said, in part:

"I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

"In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterf*ck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I'm fairly certain you might need it."

Sincerely,
Chris Kluwe

"P.S. I've also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your 'I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing' and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. A**hole."

I'm sure Burns will take the typical conservative tactic of saying his gesture was misinterpreted, but it clearly wasn't. I hope his constituents see his bigotry and ignorance for what it is, as well as his unabashed effort to curb someone's free speech, and bounce this schmuck out of office.