Sam is a writer in Los Angeles. He wrote a memoir about his struggles with addiction in his teens and how difficult it is to stay sober. It sold modestly but it didn’t make him a household name.
Now 28, he can’t remember the last time he was happy. His ideas for a second book don’t work, he’s worried he might lose his magazine job, he can’t find a relationship, and he’s so unhappy with his body he’s convinced the entire gay community will reject him because he’s fat. His unhappiness is practically debilitating.
"Maybe some people are just born self-hating and self-destructive and we die that way. And so we go to therapy and twelve-step groups and we take antidepressants and anxiety meds and we journal and go to yoga and exercise and take baths and drink pressed juices and repeat affirmations to ourselves in the mirror and listen to Brené Brown podcasts. But we're just swimming against the tide, because the darkness always comes back. All we ever do is learn to manage the symptoms."
At a dinner party one night, he hears about a shaman who supposedly can fix people’s problems over the course of a weekend. It certainly seems too good to be true, but signs keep pointing him toward taking a chance.
He and an acquaintance spend the weekend with the shaman, and Sam hopes this will be the answer to his problems. But is the key to happiness reopening old wounds, prodding insecurities, and confronting hidden trauma, or is the shaman really summoning his power?
This was a thought-provoking, emotional book that raised some interesting questions. I honestly was expecting there to be much more trauma revealed than there was, and I don’t know that I bought the whole concept of “fixing.”
It’s a well-written book but I never quite connected with it as much as I would’ve liked. Still, it’s another intriguing book for Pride Reads!!
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