Book Review: "Lucky Alan: And Other Stories" by Jonathan Lethem

Full disclosure: I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

For someone who once unequivocally refused to read short stories because I convinced myself that rather than invest myself in characters and plots that end quickly, my time was better spent reading full-length novels (such foolishness), I've more than made up for lost time over the last few years. And as any fan of the short story knows, the richness of characterization and storytelling can actually be intensified in shorter form.

While I tend to read many different types of genres, I usually like my short stories to be reasonably straightforward. I don't necessarily need realism or linear structure, but I don't like to have to struggle to wonder what a story means, or what an author is trying to say. (Yeah, I'm opinionated that way.)

This quirk of mine may be one of the reasons that a number of the stories in Jonathan Lethem's new collection Lucky Alan: And Other Stories didn't quite click for me. I think Lethem is a terrific writer, and I've read several of his books, but again, I've tended to enjoy those which hewed to a more traditional narrative better than those which were a little dreamier or more surreal.

The characters in these stories are quirky, and the situations they find themselves in are often tremendously unique. Some of those I really enjoyed included "The Porn Critic," in which a young man tries to overcome the perceptions people have about him because of his job; "The Empty Room," which dealt with the craziness that results when a somewhat dysfunctional family moves to a house much larger than they know what to do with; "Procedure in Plain Air," in which a man unwittingly becomes a player in a situation he doesn't quite understand; the title story, which chronicles the narrator's friendship with a quirky, formerly legendary film director, and the dynamics of that man's relationship with a neighbor; and my favorite, "Pending Vegan," in which a man on the verge of a nervous breakdown has the bad idea to take his wife and young daughters on a trip to Sea World.

If you're a fan of stories that don't quite follow the traditional path, this is definitely a collection you should pick up. Lethem is a tremendously talented storyteller, with a voice all his own.

It's almost like Stephen King's "It"...

Warning: Do not read this blog post if you suffer from coulrophobia, the debilitating fear of clowns.

The town of Northampton, England, about 60 miles outside of London, is a fairly idyllic town which has a rich history dating back to the Bronze Age and is home to two rugby teams.

Oh, and since Friday, September 13, it's been terrorized by a clown.

Yes, you read that right. A red-haired, masked stranger in full clown regalia who wanders the streets at night carrying a bouquet of balloons, has appeared every night at various places around Northampton. But although he has frightened Northampton's citizens, who liken him to Pennywise, the evil clown in Stephen King's novel, It, the clown says, "I don't terrorise people. I just want to be spotted."

"He doesn't juggle. He doesn't twist balloons into animal shapes. He just stares," Northampton Herald & Post explained.

Is this a publicity stunt? A cry for help? Not at all, says the Northampton Clown. He has said—on his Facebook page and in a few interviews with media—that while people may be scared when he pops up, that's all part of the fun. That's his goal: "I just want to amuse people."

"Most people enjoy being a bit freaked out and then they can laugh about it afterwards," he said. "It's like watching a horror movie, when people get scared they usually start laughing."

And apparently that's not all. Because the clown has apparently given birth (so to speak) to a legion of friends and enemies, including Boris, the self-proclaimed "Clown Catcher." Dressed in a purple superhero suit, he also wanders the streets after dark and, on his Facebook page explains, "I am the official clown catcher. I am not here to scare anyone. I am not here to hurt anyone. I come in peace!" In fact, he only seems to want to meet the clown and take a picture with him.

Not quite sure what to make of this, but it reminds me of my freshman year in college when I read King's It. I had never been afraid of clowns before but, as those of you who've read the book can attest, Pennywise the clown scared the crap out of me. One of my college roommates used to pick up the book and read it when I was busy. One afternoon we were playing basketball in our room, and the ball rolled under my bed. Apparently my roommate had hidden a clown mask under there as a prank.

I didn't sleep in my bed for a week. Needless to say, I'm not visiting Northampton anytime soon...

People are cretins...

Don't know if you saw this story in the news earlier in the week, but I've been to busy to post this before.

Apparently the grandmother of Max, a 13-year-old boy with autism, received an anonymous letter at her home in Newcastle, Ontario, Canada. The letter, signed by "One pissed off mother," refers to Max as a neighborhood "nuisance," "retarded," and a "dreadful" noise polluter.

But worse than that, the letter says, "Personally, they should take whatever non retarded [sic] body parts he possesses and donate it to science. What the hell else good is he to anyone!!! Do the right thing and move or euthanize him!! Either way we are ALL better off!!!"

See for yourself:

There are no words for someone like this. If the author of this letter is actually a parent, I fear for this person's children. Canadian police are investigating.

Sometimes people just baffle me.

Now THAT'S the way to open a Bar Mitzvah...

And I thought I've seen some pretty ostentatious Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties...

Check out Sam Horowitz's opening dance number at his Bar Mitzvah last fall in Dallas. I would wager that the hora and lifting him and his family up on chairs pales in comparison to this! (I was wondering why I couldn't have something like this at my Bar Mitzvah and then I remembered: I can't dance, and was even less, umm, graceful back then!)

Land of the free, home of the...ridiculous?

Sometimes I think people should have to take IQ tests before they use any type of social media, much less choose to procreate.

Apparently during Tuesday evening's MLB All-Star Game, singer Marc Anthony sang God Bless America. Apparently that didn't sit too well with a number of Neanderthals on Twitter, who posted the following gems:

Impressive, huh? Now Marc Anthony happens to be of Puerto Rican descent. Which means he is an American citizen, but the fact is, he was born in New York. But that fact seems to be lost in, well, translation:

So, here's a lesson: Puerto Rico is part of the United States.

Puerto Rico is not Spain.

People from Puerto Rico are not Spanish.

Makes you wonder how much longer the U.S. can be considered a superpower if so many of our citizens are far from super...

Here's your sign...

A friend posted these on Facebook the other day and I thought they were far too good not to share.

Any wonder why people don't pay attention to signs? How could they?

More proof the world is going stone cold mad...

I've read about or seen a few things over the last few days that make me wonder if people in our world are just getting crazier, or if I'm just getting less tolerant. (I'm guessing it's somewhere in the middle of the two.)

Rich Manhattan mothers are hiring handicapped tour guides so their kids can cut lines at Disney. It's like something out of an episode of one of the Real Housewives shows, or even Arrested Development. Seriously. These women are hiring people with disabilities to pose as family members so they and their kids can jump to the front of lines. These so-called "black-market Disney guides" run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.

Now, I'm no fan of people who park in handicapped spots when they don't need to, forcing people with actual disabilities to walk further. But this seriously takes the cake. Although I guess it's just as pathetic that these individuals would be willing to rent themselves out for such a purpose. No better way to teach your kids values.

---------------------

She wanted to dance with somebody. On the plane. Think you've had to fly with annoying or crazy people? Well, folks on a recent flight from LAX to JFK win this battle hands down. Their flight had to make an emergency landing in Kansas City because a woman wouldn't stop singing Whitney Houston songs at the top of her lungs. (As American Idol has taught us, it's always the people who shouldn't be singing Whitney songs that do.)

The woman has apparently blamed her musical outburst on her diabetes. (I would have drawn the line at Rick Astley, but that's just me.) And as you'd imagine in this era of bystanders watching instead of helping, someone got video of the woman's swan song, I Will Always Love You on their cell phone.



---------------------

From the ridiculous to the, well, more ridiculous. This morning when I was walking to the Metro, I spied a car in the parking lot with a bumper sticker that read, "I'll get rid of my guns when God gets rid of the gays". Needless to say I had to remind myself (repeatedly) that slashing a car's tires or bashing in its windows would be a criminal act, and I'd probably not get to work on time.

Look, I'm not going to get into a debate about gun control now. I think I've made my feelings about that abundantly clear. But while you might have the right to amass an arsenal in your home, what gives you the right to hide behind your religion to preach bigotry and hate? It's always wonderful when people preach about what God hates or what God will destroy. I don't think God needs a spokesperson, no matter what religion you believe in.

Remember, guns don't kill people. Bigotry, prejudice, and ignorance kill people.

All the things that I am not...

As the mantle of marriage equality—and equality in general—continues to get embraced by a wider and wider circle, those on what will eventually be the losing side of the argument—and history, for that matter—continue their vocal tirades, throwing accusations of an increasingly wilder nature at LGBT people and those who support equality. While I'd like to believe that most rational, reasonably intelligent people can separate the truth from baseless hyperbole, I thought it might be helpful to let people know some basic facts.

1. I am not looking to "recruit," "convert," or "turn" people gay. While I believe every person has the right to live their life the way they so choose, I would never knowingly encourage people to "choose" a lifestyle in which they're treated with derision, persecution, inequality, and threats of violence.


2. A person's desire to spend the rest of their life with the person they love should not affect anyone else's relationship or marriage. If in some bizarre way my relationship affects yours, your relationship was not stable.


3. Allowing people of the same sex to marry each other will not open the floodgates to people marrying their children or other family members, their pets or other animals, or inanimate objects.


4. While I go to the gym six days a week, I don't ogle the others in the locker room. And I'm not interested in hitting on any of them, or any random person with whom I come into contact in any random public place. And you know what, Family Research Council? Letting gay kids into the Boy Scouts will not mean they will hit on other scouts either.


5. Demanding equal rights in all aspects of my life doesn't mean that I'm "persecuting" those who steadfastly cling to inequality. Contrary to what Newt Gingrich believes, religious rights are not being "outlawed" by equal rights.


6. Contrary to what Pat Robertson believes, I do not deserve to be equated with rapists and murderers because of my sexual orientation. And while people may hide who they really are, or choose to live a life in denial, you cannot "change" your sexual orientation.


7. Gay people are not "unclean" or an "abomination."


8. No matter what they believe in African countries like Uganda and Zambia (where a gay couple's parents turned them into the government just recently)—or how they act in nearly every state in the U.S. and many countries—gay people aren't deserving of death or violence against them. Oh, wait. No one is.

Thanks for listening. And if you're confused, try reading this again.

A truly superb Super Bowl...

You know, I can't remember the last time I was pleased about both teams playing in the Super Bowl, or when the game turned out to be such a nail-biter that I was utterly hooked from start to finish, less the 35-minute pause for the ridiculous power outage in the Superdome. (Of course, watching the game on our friends' 110-inch television while sitting in a recliner didn't hurt matters any either.) While it was great to see the Baltimore Ravens end up the victors, who knew what could have happened if the refs had made the call Jim Harbaugh thought they should?

Some years the Super Bowl is known for terrific commercials and some years you find yourself wondering, "Is this what these companies are paying millions of dollars for?" While I don't understand the point of showing all the commercials before the game (and I avoided watching any of them until they showed two at the movies yesterday morning), I enjoyed a number of the commercials I saw yesterday. Among my favorites:

OREO's "Whisper Fight" made me laugh...and made me crave the cookies. (And isn't that what good advertising is supposed to do?)


Doritos again this year brought the funny with this lesson to never trust a goat.


I loved Tide's "Big Stain" commercial, and kudos for predicting the overall outcome of the game.


Even though I saw this ad at the movies earlier in the day, I still enjoyed Taco Bell's take on Fun.'s We Are Young.


As for the tearjerkers, Budwiser's Clydesdale commercial (set to Fleetwood Mac's Landslide) made me pretend I had something in my eye.


And Jeep's Oprah-narrated "Whole Again" ad saluted the men and women who defend our country. A beautiful job.


I also enjoyed Kia's two ads, as well as M&M's take on Meatloaf's I Would Do Anything for Love and Dorito's "Fashionista Daddy" spot. Ram Trucks' ad, which used Paul Harvey's 1970 speech "So God Made a Farmer" was emotional, but it ran a bit too long for me and I didn't feel as if it actually marketed its product. And once again, the folks at GoDaddy.com baffled and disgusted me with their ad, which had model Bar Rafaeli making out with a "nerd." Clearly the company is making enough money to pay for these ads, but I just don't get it.

Oh, and how cool was the brief Destiny's Child reunion? Thought that was the best part of the halftime show. And in honor of the night the lights went out in the Superdome, here's a classic clip from Designing Women. There was no one quite like Dixie Carter.

What is happening in the Volunteer State??

All apologies to my friends from Tennessee, but things are going utterly crazy in your state! While one of these instances alone is enough to raise eyebrows, all three together make me wonder just what exactly is in the water these days...

See this dog? Looks pretty harmless, right? Well, apparently his owner took him to a Jackson, Tennessee shelter to be euthanized, not because he was vicious or tore things apart, but because he suspected the dog was gay. Seriously. The shelter wrote on its Facebook page:

This guy was signed over to RC, not because he's mean or because he tears things up, but because...His owner says he's gay! He hunched another male dog so his owner threw him away because he refuses to have a "gay" dog!

Fortunately, the dog is in the process of being adopted by a rescue agency, which will have him neutered, tested for heartworm, and vetted for behavioral issues before placing him in an approved home. All I know is, someone deserved to be euthanized in this situation, and it wasn't the dog.

But that's not all. The Tennessee state assembly is again discussing passage of SB234, or the "Don't Say Gay" bill, which died with the adjournment of the assembly last year. This bill bars Tennessee teachers from discussing any facet of "non-heterosexual" sexuality with children in grades K-8. But the newest iteration also includes a provision requiring teachers or counselors to inform the parents of some students who identify themselves as LGBT. The bill says:

A school counselor, nurse, principal or assistant principal from counseling a student who is engaging in, or who may be at risk of engaging in, behavior injurious to the physical or mental health and well-being of the student or another person; provided, that wherever possible such counseling shall be done in consultation with the student’s parents or legal guardians. Parents or legal guardians of students who receive such counseling shall be notified as soon as practicable that such counseling has occurred.

Are members of the Tennessee state assembly satisfied with the number of children committing suicide because they are depressed about coming to terms with their sexuality? Are they willing to chance that more children are turned out on the street by their parents because they're "turned in" by those purporting to provide guidance and advice? To me, this bill is unconscionable, and any lawmaker who votes for it should be ashamed. I know that those who support equality are increasingly finding themselves on the right side of the law, but this is simply unacceptable.

And from the sublime to the ridiculous, in an interview on MSNBC's The Daily Rundown with Chuck Todd, Senator Lamar Alexander, Tennessee's senior senator, former education secretary under President George H.W. Bush, and a former presidential candidate himself, said that "video games is [sic] a bigger problem than guns because video games affect people." Seriously, folks. It doesn't get much better than this. Watch for yourself.

What brought us together...

While it's not quite the end of the year (and it appears the end of the world isn't upon us either), this video, "The Web in Review," is a great compilation of moments (many thanks to YouTube and other video services) that captivated public attention during these last 12 months.

To what should be the surprise of no one, I got choked up a few times.

Ladies, be sure you steer clear of "legitimate rape"

In case you missed those special lectures in health class, Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO), who is running against Senator Claire McCaskill in November, can break it down for you.

Akin doesn't think abortion in the case of rape is really an issue. That's because he has it on good authority that women don't get pregnant from "legitimate rape" anyway.

Says Akin:

First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

Umm, really? So women who get pregnant after being raped were only, say, magically raped? Or was it because they didn't really fight hard enough when fending off the rapist to make their body avoid becoming pregnant?

And this man is actually leading in the polls!!

Watch Akin's science lesson for yourself.

Sometimes there are no words.

Pink = Unpatriotic?

Gymnast Gabby Douglas was the toast of the world this past week after she became the third American woman in a row to win Olympic gold in the gymnastics all-around competition.

But as has become typical in our quick-to-be-critical world, shortly after her win, people (mostly women) took to social media outlets to denigrate Douglas' hairstyle. One woman asked on Twitter, "So for real though nobody wanted to go to London to do Gabby Douglas' hair?," while another commented, "Gabby Douglas is cute and all...but that hair...on camera." (Douglas was quick to dismiss that criticism, saying she doesn't care what people think.)

The latest round of criticism aimed at Douglas and other Olympic athletes is more ridiculous than that. Apparently Douglas is not patriotic enough because she didn't wear red, white, and blue, opting instead for a pink leotard.

Seriously.

Speaking on the Fox & Friends weekend show with Alisyn Camerota, conservative radio host David Webb said Douglas' attire was part of a broader sense of "soft anti-Americanism," which he feels has grown more apparent among American athletes since the previous Olympics. The radio host also pointed out that those cheering for Douglas did not break out in a rousing round of "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!" chants.

"What's wrong with showing some pride?," Webb asked of Douglas and other athletes. (As if the fact that they're representing their country at the freaking Olympics isn't enough a demonstration of pride?)

Interestingly, Webb ignores the fact that the Olympic Committee has denounced overzealous displays of American patriotism almost every time the games make their way to the United States, including in 1984 Los Angeles and 1996 Atlanta. Even during the 2002 winter games in Salt Lake City, which took place just months after 9/11, Americans were told to tone down the chest-beating. Speaking that year about a pre-Olympics tribute to those killed in the attacks, Mitt Romney—who at that time was the president of the Olympics Organizing Committee—conceded that the Olympics are "not our time to talk about how great America is."

Some may say, what do you expect from Fox News? But this type of criticism should not be acceptable. I am so tired of people calling others' patriotism into question if they behave or even look differently than what some person thinks is patriotic.

You know what is unpatriotic? Being judgmental and hate-filled. But there's more than enough of that to go around in this country.

Watch the video.

Modern-day McCarthyism...

What year is it? Sometimes I think we've gone back in time to the 1950s, when panic over Communism and a general xenophobia held our country and members of Congress in its grasp, destroying the careers, and sometimes the lives, of those accused of being Communists, or anti-American.

Luckily then we had a crusader by the name of Edward R. Murrow who helped give the world a collective shake and bring everyone back to their senses.

Today, Senator John McCain came to the rescue in a similar matter. You see, "anti-American" fear has raised its ugly head in Congress again, thanks to the delusional mind of Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN). Bachmann, as it turns out, believes the Muslim brotherhood has infiltrated Congress.

Seriously.

Needless to say, fellow Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), a practicing Muslim, wasn't too enamored of Bachmann's fear-mongering. He sent Bachmann a letter warning her that there had better be "credible, substantial evidence" for her claims. Bachmann's 16 pages of loosely-sourced "evidence" names Huma Abedin, State Department employee and wife of sexting ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner, as a prime example of Muslim infiltration, and has called Abedin's security clearance into question.

Senator McCain would have none of it. "I understand how painful and injurious it is when a person's character, reputation, and patriotism are attacked without concern for fact or fairness," McCain said according to prepared remarks. "It is for that reason that I rise today to speak in defense of Huma Abedin."

He continued:

"Ultimately, what is at stake in this matter is larger even than the reputation of one person. This is about who we are as a nation, and who we still aspire to be. What makes America exceptional among the countries of the world is that we are bound together as citizens not by blood or class, not by sect or ethnicity, but by a set of enduring, universal, and equal rights that are the foundation of our constitution, our laws, our citizenry, and our identity. When anyone, not least a member of Congress, launches specious and degrading attacks against fellow Americans on the basis of nothing more than fear of who they are and ignorance of what they stand for, it defames the spirit of our nation, and we all grow poorer because of it."

I don't always agree with Senator McCain's positions on issues, but I admire his heroic willingness to speak out—even against his own party—when he sees something wrong.

Being "foreign" shouldn't be an insult, or a cry to rally people to be afraid. I am disgusted that John Sununu said, "I wish this president [Obama] would learn how to be an American" yesterday. I cannot believe the media is still giving Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio coverage about his crusade to prove President Obama's birth certificate is fraudulent. And those who refer to the President as "Barack Hussein Obama" in an insulting tone, implying that his middle name denotes that he is un-American, is appalling.

We need to remember we are a country that is richer because of the contributions of people of all cultures, races, and religions. We have to stop living in fear, or trying to make people afraid, of those we deem "anti-American." Because that is not the American way.

Maybe I need to adjust my sense of humor...

Just when you think you've heard it all...

A Washington, D.C. police officer has been removed from his unit and placed on administrative duty after allegations that he threatened to shoot First Lady Michelle Obama. The officer, who worked as a motorcycle escort for White House officials, "allegedly said he would shoot the first lady and then used his phone to retrieve a picture of the firearm he said he would use," reported the Washington Post.

The comments were reportedly made Wednesday morning as several officers from the Special Operations Division discussed threats against the Obamas. Some officials have said it was a bad joke made by someone who should have known better.

According to msnbc.com, the Secret Service is not concerned that the remark made by the officer constitutes any kind of actual threat. "We're aware of it and taking the appropriate steps," an official for the Secret Service told msnbc.com.

Let's separate politics from this issue. I don't care if you support President Obama or think he is the worst president in the history of time, I'd like to believe you see that this is wrong. A threat like this, even made as a joke, should be taken seriously. I believe a person is innocent until proven guilty, which is why I'm glad the officer's name hasn't been released to or by the media. But if the officer really made these comments, he should be fired from his job.

Many of us have made inappropriate jokes, but when a person entrusted to protect the safety of others threatens the safety of another, that's not funny. I'm hoping this may turn out to be a misinterpretation of what the officer actually said, but saying he "should have known better" is an unacceptable defense.

Those of you who think this was a joke not to be taken seriously, I hope you can explain where the humor is.

Do lawmakers really believe the things they say?

Just when you thought the level of offensiveness in political discourse had reached an all-time low, along comes Congressman Joe Walsh (R-IL). (No, not the guy from The Eagles.)

Walsh has made some well-publicized gaffes in the past, but his recent criticism of his Democratic opponent, Iraq war veteran and double amputee Tammy Duckworth, truly takes the cake. You see, Walsh—who has never served in the military—believes Duckworth talks too much about her military service. In fact, he has accused her of "showing off" her sacrifice for political gain. (Because it's easy to hide the fact that you've lost both of your legs and the use of one arm.)

At a campaign event Sunday, Walsh lauded Sen. John McCain, a former prisoner of war in Vietnam, for his humility and refusal to talk candidly about his service. (I guess Walsh has forgotten about the two books McCain wrote about those experiences.)

"Now I'm running against a woman who, I mean—my God—that's all she talks about," Walsh told an audience in Elk Grove, IL. "Our true heroes, the men and women who served us, it's the last thing in the world they talk about." (Never mind the fact that Duckworth sustained her injuries when insurgents blew up her helicopter in Iraq.)

(Duckworth received multiple military awards, including a Purple Heart, an Air Medal and an Army Commendation Medal. After her injuries, she became director of Illinois’ Department of Veterans’ Affairs, until President Obama made her assistant secretary of Veterans Affairs.)

There are many, many people who demonstrate heroism on a daily basis, both on and off the battlefield. And while I don't believe that sustaining injuries while in the service of your country necessarily means you're qualified to run for public office, someone who volunteered to fight for our country—and sustained life-altering injuries through no fault of her own while doing so—deserves to be called a true hero.

What's even more appalling is that Walsh is best known for falling roughly $100,000 behind in child support to his ex-wife and then failing to show up in court—because, a staffer told the judge, "Mr. Walsh is a U.S. congressman."

Whether or not Tammy Duckworth deserves to be elected to Congress is a matter for the voters of Illinois' 8th Congressional district. Whether or not she deserves to be hailed as a hero—and has every right to talk about her injuries and her military service—should not be questioned.

The inexplicable need for classification...

On Entertainment Weekly's website there was an article with the title, "Could the heroine of Pixar's Brave be gay?" (If you're still planning to see this movie, you might want to avoid this post, because there are spoilers here.)

The article reads:

"Today, crowds will line the streets of cities like New York and San Francisco for parades that mark the high point of LGBT Pride Month. At the same time, legions of kids will swarm into theaters to watch Pixar’s Brave, the animated story of a young Scottish princess named Merida who goes to extreme lengths to avoid having to marry one of the three noblemen that her parents have chosen for her. The two events don’t seem to have much in common at first glance. But it’s quite possible that while watching Brave's tomboyish heroine shoot arrows, fight like one of the boys, and squirm when her mother puts her in girly clothes, a thought might pop into the head of some viewers: Is Merida gay?

"Let’s be clear: Merida isn’t an overtly lesbian character. Nothing in the story implies that she’s attracted to other women (or men either, but more on that in a second). She doesn’t completely swear off the idea of marriage to a man, and she never hints that she might have a hidden sexual identity. And neither Pixar, which created her, or Disney, which is distributing the film, has made any official attempt to tell the gay community that Merida might be one of them.

"But could Merida be gay? Absolutely. She bristles at the traditional gender roles that she’s expected to play: the demure daughter, the obedient fiancée. Her love of unprincess-like hobbies, including archery and rock-climbing, is sure to strike a chord with gay viewers who felt similarly "not like the other kids" growing up. And she hates the prospect of marriage—at least, to any of the three oafish clansmen that compete for her hand—enough to run away from home and put her own mother’s life at risk. She’s certainly not a swooning, boy-crazy Disney princess like The Little Mermaid’s Ariel or Snow White. In fact, Merida may be the first in that group to be completely romantically disinclined (even cross-dressing Mulan had a soft spot for Li Shang).

While there may be some truth to these remarks, why is there a need to classify this character in such a way? Doesn't this writer fall into the same stereotypical traps the gay community is trying to fight—Merida doesn't want to get married, and likes to climb rocks and shoot arrows, so she must be gay? And would an equivalent male character like to sing and dance, or like to be smartly dressed, or enjoy reading rather than fighting? Because all of those things definitely mean you're gay, right?

Don't get me wrong, it would be great if we lived in a society where a character in a movie, television show, book, etc. could be a strong role model who just happens to be gay. But I believe it will be a long time before a gay character is presented as a hero or heroine in a movie, television show, or book geared toward children. Since it happens so rarely, I understand the need to make a big deal out of a character's sexuality if they are being presented as a person to emulate. I just don't see the need to assign labels just based on stereotypical traits.

Can't a movie character just be a movie character? Can't we just revel in Merida's independent streak rather than seek to find its attributions? Can't we just enjoy a person's humanness, or a character's personality and goodness, without the need to classify them? Sigh.

The fine line between risque and just plain dumb...

Update: As of Monday night, Adidas announced plans to cancel the release of the sneaker. So intelligence (or fear of lawsuits) wins the day.

The fashion world is often known for pushing the envelope, and footwear designers are no exception. While sneakers frequently court controversy because of their astronomical prices, a new Adidas sneaker has garnered an altogether different type of criticism—claims that it promotes racism.

Adidas' new Roundhouse Mid "Handcuff" shoe, created by controversial New York designer Jeremy Scott (he of the $424 clutch that looked like a pair of tighty whiteys, among other infamous creations), features a plastic orange shackle that attaches to each ankle. While the sneakers—priced at a ridiculous $350 a pair—don't hit stores until August, their recent premiere on Adidas' Facebook page has caused quite an uproar.

The sneakers are accompanied by this quote on Facebook: "Tighten up your style with the JS Roundhouse Mids, dropping in August. Got a sneaker game so hot you lock your kicks to your ankles?"

While Adidas may be poking fun at shoe theft, many are equating these binding devices with slavery and prisoners. Comments on the company's Facebook page have referred to the sneakers as everything from "Adidas Amistad Originals" to "ignorant" and "slavewear."

Yet not everyone is offended. Some fans have noted the shackles' resemblance to those "worn" by the 80s toy My Pet Monster.



Adidas' initial response to the controversy was this: "The JS Roundhouse Mid is part of the Fall/Winter 2012 design collaboration between Adidas Originals and Jeremy Scott. The design of the JS Roundhouse Mid is nothing more than the designer Jeremy Scott's outrageous and unique take on fashion and has nothing to do with slavery. Jeremy Scott is renowned as a designer whose style is quirky and lighthearted and his previous shoe designs for Adidas Originals have, for example, included panda heads and Mickey Mouse. Any suggestion that this is linked to slavery is untruthful."

So what do you think? Are these sneakers racist, stupid, or cool? And is any sneaker worth $350?

I just don't need to see this...

I've seen a lot of really memorable television commercials through the years. Some are uproariously funny, some make me cry (and I'm not ashamed to admit it), and some actually make me think.

Then there are the absurd commercials, the ones I cannot believe an advertising agency was paid to create, much less put on television. Take Charmin, for example. I don't know about you, but while I certainly understand that bears go to the bathroom, I don't need that visual in my head when I reach for toilet paper.

And I can say without hesitation, I don't need this visual:



But as disturbing as the Charmin-loving bears are, I am even more disturbed by this latest advertisement for the "Cottonelle Care Routine," namely toilet paper plus personal wipes.

Who thought this would make a good advertisement? I may have a lot of weird things rolling around in my brain, but I can assure you that assigning a name to toilet paper and personal wipes isn't one of them. And do you really want to know what other people name their routine?


Bring back Mr. Whipple, please. What commercials annoy you or make you uncomfortable?

Doesn't anyone care about accuracy anymore?

File these under "D'oh":

A few weeks ago, Victoria's Secret started selling its take on college sports t-shirts, with a cute, sexy Michigan State t-shirt.


Nothing objectionable about this shirt, right? It has the Michigan State name, the Spartans logo, the color is correct...The problem, however, is that the tagline "Hail to the Victors" is actually from the University of Michigan's motto/fight song. Guess there must be a Wolverine fan in VS's product design department...


Not one to be outdone, Old Navy recently tried their hand at women's college t-shirts, with similar results.

With these three shirts for the University of Iowa, University of Colorado, and University of Arizona, the team names are correct, but the founding years for each of the universities is off. The shirts list the founding dates as 1820, 1878, and 1881, respectively, but the actual dates are 1847, 1876, and 1885, which means that the date on Iowa's t-shirt is 27 years off.

Has no one at Old Navy heard of the internet? Has our society always just been content with mediocrity, or is this something that has come along with the general malaise from which we all seem to suffer these days?

Hope the individuals responsible for these errors don't leave their jobs to pursue positions in pharmaceutical or medical supply communications...