Book Review: "American Fantasy" by Emma Straub

“So often, the word nostalgia felt coated in bile—a nostalgia act. Annie understood and she didn’t. Nostalgia was for the Smurfs, for erasers that smelled like strawberries. Maybe that was what the costumes were about, the goofy T-shirts, but inside her head, which is where she heard the music, it had touched some lever so deep that it couldn’t be reversed, as much as she’d chosen to ignore it. Maybe that was nostalgia after all, that the music was a direct vein to her own childhood, the least complicated part of her life.”

Annie remembered enjoying the 90s boy band Boy Talk when she was a teenager. It was a subject that bonded her and her younger sister together. All these years later, her sister is still a huge fan, while for Annie, Boy Talk is firmly in the past.

Yet here Annie is, about to board the cruise ship American Fantasy, for a four-day cruise with all 5 members of Boy Talk. And her sister isn’t even able to make it, so she’s going solo. But she quickly makes a friend in Maira, a veteran of these cruises, who takes Annie under her wing.

The cruise is unlike anything Annie has ever experienced. There are throngs of (mostly) middle-aged women, screaming and cheering for their favorite band member. Lots of alcohol is imbibed, there is so much clothing and merch with the band’s faces on it, and there are so many opportunities to interact with the band members. Some of them go after these events with gusto, while some can’t wait to go back home.

The cruise gives Annie the opportunity to reflect on what it’s like to be (and feel) middle-aged, and how it feels to relive a part of your younger years. She deals with divorce, career issues, and the uncertainty of what her life holds.

I’ve never gone on a cruise, and Emma Straub’s imagery made me feel sunburned and claustrophobic, lol. The book alternates narration from Annie, Keith (one of the band members), and Sarah, an employee of the production company that organizes the cruise.

Book Review: "The Comeback" by Ella Berman

Ella Berman's debut novel, The Comeback, is powerful and timely.

Grace was 14 when she was plucked out of obscurity in England and cast as a lead in a movie trilogy. She and her family moved to California so she could pursue stardom, something she never had thought of until her classmates were auditioning for the film.

The film’s charismatic director, Able Yorke, finds a muse in Grace. And while he’s able to coax some terrific performances from her, they come with a steep price tag. He controls her every move and when she resists he makes her question herself and her own sanity.

But that’s not all he does to her, and to deal with it she turns to drugs and alcohol and destructive behavior. She thinks she might have found happiness but her past keeps creeping into her life and destroying her relationships. And then after receiving a Golden Globe nomination, she disappears, and goes home to her parents’ house to enjoy the anonymity of everyday life.

Of course, family life doesn’t suit her, as there are resentments there, too. But when she hears that Able will receive a film award and organizers want Grace to present it, she drags herself back to Hollywood, but she has to figure out on whose terms she’s returning. She also has to come to terms with what happened to her and what she wants next. And as much as she has scorched-earth scenarios in her head, she knows she must be realistic as well.

This is a very relevant book given the MeToo and Time’s Up movements, and you know Grace’s story is based on so many real ones. I felt the book's pacing was very slow for a long while, as the narration shifted between past and present. At times it almost felt like we were being kept at arm’s length from getting to know Grace and getting invested in her story, but ultimately the book picked up in pace and emotion.

This is a book that raises so many questions about our culture, and what women are put through everywhere, especially in the entertainment field. It’s very thought-provoking.

Book Review: "The Girl He Used to Know" by Tracey Garvis Graves

Wow, wow, WOW. This book was amazing.

"It's like everyone around you has a copy of the script of life, but no one gave it to you so you have to go in blind and hope you can muddle your way through. And you'll be wrong most of the time."

Annika Rose is different from other people. She's much more comfortable with solitude, and would much rather be in the company of animals, hiding under her comforter and reading a book, or getting lost in a competitive game of chess than spending time with her fellow undergraduates at the University of Illinois.

She dreams of life as a librarian, surrounded by books, but she often doesn't notice social cues, and she wishes that people would be more direct about what they think and feel rather than make her figure it out. Luckily, Annika has her roommate, Janice, to help her navigate through the confusing and anxiety-provoking world of college.

When Annika meets Jonathan Hoffman in her senior year at a meeting of the school's chess club, she can't quite understand why he's interested in talking to her, or continuing to play her once she beat him, badly. She knows she's attractive (she's been told her face is "aesthetically pleasing") but she's sure that he'd be more interested in someone more comfortable in social situations, a girl who wears makeup and enjoys going to bars and listening to loud music.

But Jonathan keeps coming back, and after a while he makes it clear that he's interested in Annika, and he's willing to help calm her fears and understand the things that make her nervous or anxious, because he wants a relationship with her.

The two fall deeply in love and begin to plan a future together in New York City after graduation. It's not always an easy path—sometimes Annika misses Jonathan's signals, or is unable to do the things he hopes she will—but with Jonathan, for the first time since leaving home, she feels safe, understood, and loved. But even the intensity of their love isn't enough to withstand an unexpected obstacle which tears them apart, leaving them to chart the course of the future on their own.

Ten years later, Annika is living in Chicago and working at a library. She's a much stronger person than she was in college, and she understands her role in what happened in her relationship with Jonathan. But despite keeping up a strong façade, she's utterly unprepared to run into him in a grocery store. He's back in the area after a career on Wall Street and a divorce, and seeing Annika again rekindles all the old feelings. But can he trust his heart to give her a second chance?

Annika is determined to show Jonathan how much she has changed, and is willing to take it slow if that's what it takes. Can a relationship that was so intense the first time pick up where it left off, after so much has transpired between them? Is Jonathan still willing to accept Annika the way she is? Can they move past the things that drove them apart, and can they finally have the future they had dreamed of?

The Girl He Used to Know is an utterly fantastic book which blew me away. Tracey Garvis Graves has created an incredible set of characters, with such complexity and depth, and this love story is a special one. There are so many books out there that similarities with other novels are expected, but I really felt this was a beautifully unique story, despite a few more familiar plot twists.

I read the plot synopsis of this book a few weeks ago, so I honestly didn't remember what it was about when I started reading it. I loved where Graves took her story (although I'll admit I wanted more) and I just love the way she writes. There are moments in this book—not even the highly dramatic ones, but the quieter, "ah ha" moments—that just took my breath away.

Run, don't walk, to get this one.

Book Review: "I Liked My Life" by Abby Fabiaschi

There were times when I was a teenager and in my early 20s (back in the dark ages) that I suffered from depression, and I thought about what it would be like to attend my own funeral, to see who would attend and what people would say about me, whether they would be sorry or sad, or how they would react.

In a strange way, I was reminded of those thoughts when I was reading Abby Fabiaschi's beautifully moving debut novel, I Liked My Life.

From the outside, it appeared Maddy had it all. She was a well-read, tremendously intelligent and generous housewife, with a successful husband, Brady, and a beautiful teenage daughter, Eve. Maddy was witty, sardonic, fun to be around, and fiercely devoted to her family, and determined that Eve grow up understanding the difference between right and wrong, and realize the impact of her actions when treating someone else cruelly. Sure, Brady's workaholic nature, his refusal to relax and spend time with her and Eve, and his taking her for granted more times than she'd care to count enraged and saddened her, but for the most part, she is satisfied with the way her life unfolds, which is why it is a tremendous shock to her family, friends, and the community when out of the blue, Maddy commits suicide one day.

But although her life on Earth is over, Maddy isn't quite finished. She watches over Brady and Eve and tries to help them deal with their grief and, perhaps equally importantly, their relationship with each other. She's determined not to let Eve grow up with bitterness and anger, and she refuses to let Brady distance himself from their daughter, to fall into his usual patterns of anger, neglect, and periodic bouts of attention. From wherever she is, Maddy gently manipulates both of them to draw closer to one another; sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but she sees how they are both reeling from her sudden death.

The one thing Maddy wants to do is find her replacement, someone who will provide stability and love for both Brady and Eve. And she thinks she has found that in Rory, a teacher with a sparkling personality, an unexplained warmth, and a sarcastic edge, plus Rory is haunted by a tragedy of her own. Can Maddy help shape her family's future before she disappears for good?

Meanwhile, Brady and Eve try desperately to understand what might have caused Maddy to take her own life, and how they might have been responsible. Each deals with grief and anger in their own way, and although they try to lean on each other, they struggle with that, because Maddy was the bridge between them. But as their relationship changes, they both begin to better understand who Maddy was, what made her tick, and how she really felt about her husband and her daughter. That may hurt, but it also the first step they must take if they will ever be able to move on.

This is a tremendously thought-provoking and moving book, but despite the subject matter, it's not overly maudlin. Fabiaschi is a talented storyteller whose finesse belies the fact that this is her debut novel, because the book shifts and changes into something a little different than I expected, something even richer, while in a lesser author's hands this book could have turned into an all-out sob fest.

The characters are much more complex than they first appear, although they're not always sympathetic, and you wonder at times just how much of a martyr Maddy was to put up with Brady and Eve's behavior. But as you see Maddy's side of the story, you begin to understand that, just like life, things aren't always what they appear, and you never really understand the relationship of two people by looking in from the outside.

Sure, this story isn't perfect, and at times things happen a little too conveniently or seem a little too pat. But it was compelling from start to finish, and I really wanted to know and spend time with these characters, and understand their emotions. And I, too, wanted to understand what drove Maddy to her final moments. There are both the elements of the familiar and the unique in this book, and I liked it very much.

NetGalley and St. Martin's Press provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making this available!

Book Review: "Airstreaming" by Tom Schabarum

Linda is a junior in high school growing up in Kansas City in the 1970s. She is fiercely devoted to her father, who went blind as a result of injuries he sustained during Vietnam. The two listen to jazz music, and even go to a club every now and again so they could simply listen to music. Their closeness causes resentment in Linda's mother, Clare, forced to work because her husband can't, and she wishes that her life didn't involve so many sacrifices on her part.

Martha was a troubled young woman when she met Jack, who was dealing with his own problems. But the two formed a strong connection, and married. What Martha wants more than anything is to have a baby, something that can make her feel truly rooted in the world (although we find out later that there's more to it than just that). Jack is reluctant but knows how much the desire for a baby consumes Martha, so when she becomes pregnant, he is guardedly happy but still worries that something could go wrong.

When a tragedy affects Linda and Clare, it brings Linda into Jack and Martha's life, and it is another tragedy that further brings all four of their lives together. In an effort to help Martha, Jack buys an Airstream trailer, with the thought that the two can travel the world and it will solve all of their problems. But Jack doesn't realize how deep the problems lie, and Linda seeks solace from Jack and Martha at the time when they need to give it most but need their own solace as well.

Airstreaming is a poignant, emotionally compelling book about the power of love—love for your spouse, love for your parent, love for your child, and the desire to be loved. It's a book about the hurts and resentments we keep buried inside, and our need to escape, even when we should face reality instead. And it's also a story about how sometimes the refuge we need isn't always the best solution for us.

I enjoyed this book and found it very moving. All of the characters have flaws, and fears, and problems they should talk about with others but don't. It's interesting that the book took place in the 1970s because at times it felt even more old fashioned than that. I thought the core of the story was very interesting and compelling, although I didn't think a subplot with Linda and Clare's neighbors meshed with the story well. Clearly, Clare is the least sympathetic character in the book, and although I understand what drove her, I wish that Tom Schabarum had focused a little bit more on the depth that he actually gave her.

How do you keep going when it feels like your life is going completely off course, and you don't know how to cope? Airstreaming is a book about people in desperate need of hope, and how they find the strength to carry on.