Book Review: "The Jolliest Bunch: Unhinged Holiday Stories" by Danny Pellegrino

“I was an emotional kid, who turned into an even more emotional adult—one who mourns the good times as much as he mourns the bad. Perfect days end with me wiping up the same tears that result from the crappy days.”

The holidays always seem to bring out healthy doses of both joy and craziness. I guess that’s why they’re such great fodder for writers. In The Jolliest Bunch, Danny Pellegrino, host of the podcast “Everything Iconic with Danny Pellegrino,” shares some of his holiday memories. They’ll either make you feel good about your own experiences or make you think he doesn’t know what crazy really is.

Having read his last book, How Do I Un-Remember This, I really enjoy Pellegrino’s voice. His stories never seem so wild as to be preposterous, but they’re always at least a notch or two beyond the usual holiday experience.

Some of my favorites include: “The Nativity,” which meshes your typical Christmas play story with an overly dramatic child with abandonment issues; “Black Velvet,” in which he gives Mrs. Claus her long-overdue adventure; “The Night Before,” about his mother’s annual meltdown before hosting a Christmas Eve party; and “The Ghostly Duo,” where he recounts his experience being haunted by a gay, pop culture-savvy ghost.

Not every story was a winner for me, but many of them touched my heart, reminded me of my own experiences, and/or made me laugh. No matter what Pellegrino talked about, it reminded me to always find the joy in being with those I care about, because you never know when circumstances will change.

While I mostly read fiction, this book was a fun departure for me. This reminds me a bit of a David Sedaris collection but it has a charm all its own.

Book Review: "The Mall" by Megan McCafferty

Nothing like a nostalgic trip back to the mall, with Megan McCafferty's new novel, The Mall!!

How’s this for an opening line? “Less than five minutes into my triumphant return to the mall, I was targeted for assassination by a rabid spritzer from Bath & Body Works.” (How many times have you unwittingly gotten sprayed by a perfume- or cologne-wielding ninja?)

It’s 1991. Cassie has her summer planned: she and her boyfriend are going to work at America’s Best Cookie, and then they’re going to head to NYC to attend college—she at Barnard, he at Columbia.

Yet within an hour, she discovers that the best-laid plans never quite work out the way you hope. She must scramble for a new job, and as other surprises and disappointments come her way, she realizes that sometimes the only person you can depend on is yourself.

As the summer flies by, she makes new friends, finds the self-confidence and self-belief she’s been lacking, and also realizes that her attitude could use a little adjustment, too. All of this is set against the backdrop of an early 1990s New Jersey mall.

This book was a fun, nostalgic romp. I actually worked in a mall in 1991 (at Suncoast Motion Picture Company and The Gamekeeper), and I remember the days of Sam Goody stores all too well. (Mall music stores were always so expensive!) Megan McCafferty captured the time period (especially the New Jersey elements), as well as the mall experience, quite well.

Grab your scrunchies and your distressed denim, and pick up The Mall!

I’m grateful to be part of the blog tour for this book. Wednesday Books provided an advance copy in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!!

Book Review: "Rich People Problems" by Kevin Kwan

Sometimes the best antidote for the craziness of the world is reading a wacky book. (It leaves my head clearer than drinking would, anyway.) Kevin Kwan's Rich People Problems, the third in his Crazy Rich Asians series, was just the ticket. Campy, a bit melodramatic, and utterly outrageous, Kwan's tales of three generations of Chinese families, set mostly in Singapore, provides a hysterical glimpse into how the ultra-rich live.

"Peel away the veneer of wealth and sophistication and you'll find extremely provincial, narrow-minded people. The problem is that they all have too much money, and it's come so easily to them that they think they're bloody geniuses and so they are always right."

Su Yi, the matriarch of the Young Family, is on her deathbed. She has a massive fortune, capped by Tyersall Park, a 64-acre estate on prime land in Singapore. While Asian tradition would usually expect Su Yi to leave the estate to her eldest son, Philip, many believed she'd bequeath it to his son, her favorite grandson, Nicholas. But Nicholas has been estranged from his grandmother after she voiced her disapproval of his marrying Rachel, whom she viewed as a common Chinese girl, so he hasn't been home to visit her in several years.

With disposition of Su Yi's estate in question, her entire family heads to Tyersall Park to hopefully get into her good graces (and perhaps move up a bit in her will) before she passes. Her eldest daughter, Felicity, knows that she'll probably get the short end of the stick because of her gender, but she has bigger fish to fry—her daughter Astrid is scandalizing the family with her relationship with her college boyfriend Charlie Wu. The family never thought that he was good enough for her, even though he is a self-made technology tycoon now, they don't want the two to get together now, even though both are on the verge of divorcing.

Another grandson, Eddie Chang, has also come to be with Su Yi, with his family in tow. Eddie is the most status-conscious of any of the family members—he always has to be sure people know he's wearing top-of-the-line designers, the most expensive and unique shoes (one pair needed to be dyed multiple times, so they took weeks to be ready for him), and the most luxurious of luxury timepieces. He is bound and determined to finally get the respect he believes he deserves, and if that means keeping others away from his grandmother until he wins her over to his side, so be it.

While Nicholas says he doesn't care about the estate and doesn't want to revisit the hurt his grandmother caused, he realizes he needs to say goodbye to her. (Plus, his high-strung mother insists about five times a day, when she's not interrogating him and Rachel about when they'll give her a grandchild.) His return home dredges up some resentment (especially with his cousin Eddie), but spending time with Su Yi and other family members reminds him of the importance of family, but reinforces how smart he and Rachel are to live in New York!

Meanwhile, former, umm, actress Kitty Pong has finally gained some status with her marriage to China's second-richest man, Jack Bing. But her quest for respectability keeps falling short, as she can't seem to reconcile her schizophrenic tastes in fashion and decor with what is expected of someone in her position. Even worse is the fact that she is convinced her stepdaughter, fashionista-turned-attorney's wife Colette, is trying to upstage her at every turn. No matter how hard she tries to stand out, Colette seems to be in her way, despite her sudden passion for the environment and no-frills fashion.

"Scientists talk about how we inherit health issues from our parents through our genes, but we also inherit this entire lineage of fear and pain—generations of it."

Rich People Problems is quite funny as it chronicles the over-the-top behavior of these people as they battle for an inheritance, social acceptance, love, and most of all, more money. Kwan imbues his book with painstaking details (even his footnotes are hysterical while also being informative) and a litany of designers, couture, and descriptions of food sure to make your stomach growl quite loudly.

Even the characters' names are amazing—my favorite is probably Scheherazade Shang, or Harvard Bing, the infant son of Kitty and Jack. The visuals Kwan's imagery conveys are eye-popping, and some of the dialogue is campier than any soap opera diva or villain's.

Like many, I've occasionally thought about what life might be like if I didn't have to worry about money—what I would do, where I would go, what I would spend it on. But the amount of money the characters in this book throw around (one character gets an eye lift for a rare fish to make it look younger) is unfathomable, which makes the book so much fun to read.

A true guilty pleasure.

Book Review: "China Rich Girlfriend" by Kevin Kwan

Full disclosure: I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

Kevin Kwan's first book, Crazy Rich Asians, was a fun, campy look at the outrageous lives and foibles of people in Singapore who are richer than you probably can even imagine. There was drama, intrigue, gossip, scheming, and a whole lot of shopping and eating. Kwan has brought most of his characters back in China Rich Girlfriend, giving you even more glimpses into the world of the ridiculously rich and infamous.

China Rich Girlfriend picks up where the first book left off: American-born Rachel Chu and her fiancé, Nick Young, have overcome the machinations of Nick's family and others who believed that one of Singapore's most eligible bachelors deserved a more worthy bride, and are preparing for a relatively quiet wedding in California. But if there's one dark cloud over the couple's happiness, it's that Rachel still doesn't know who her birth father is, despite the couple's trying everything in their power to find him.

But when Nick's mother, Eleanor, finds herself getting involved with a wealthy family in distress, she figures out the identity of Rachel's father. And while he is happy to discover Rachel's existence, his wife is not, to say the least. Rachel finds herself in the middle of more family drama, although she has the opportunity to build a relationship with some fascinating people, including Colette Bing, a fashion icon and web celebrity, whose wealth and consumerism is enviable and outrageous. But while Rachel and Nick have the opportunity to travel in ultra-first-class fashion, and shop and eat beyond their wildest imaginations, they don't know what risks they face.

Meanwhile, former television actress Kitty Pong, now married to the heir to the Tai fortune, is desperate to become accepted in society, yet no matter where she spends her money, or how many magazines she appears in, no one will give her the time of day. And Nick's cousin, Astrid Leong, is having problems of her own. While her husband Michael has become the IT guru of Singapore, their relationship is again on an uneven keel, as Michael's celebrity rises (much of his own doing), and the pressure and his expectations rise exponentially as well.

Kwan ups the soap opera quotient in this book, but doesn't skimp on the shopping, societal dramas, and, once again, the descriptions of the food, most of which made me incredibly hungry. I cannot even imagine a world or people like this, although I know they exist. While I really liked many of the characters, I found this book became a little rote after a while with the recitation of every designer and product that these people owned or wanted to possess. And when the melodrama ramps up toward the end of the book, I felt it took away from the core of the story.

Still, China Rich Girlfriend is another look at lifestyles you might not be able to fathom, but it does so in a fun way. It's like watching an episode of Rich Kids of Beverly Hills or some other show, but you don't want to slap most of these characters. (Most of the time.)

"Show Your Joe" makes people grumble...

Proving that people can cause controversy about nearly everything, Joe Boxer's new holiday commercial for Kmart (which I didn't even realize was still around, since they all have gone out of business around here) has been causing people to get, well, up in...arms.

Conservative groups have decried the commercial, and have asked Kmart to pull it from circulation. Some on social media have called the commercial "a paean to pedophilia," because apparently "Joe Boxer isn't worn by anyone over 15 years old, so they must be targeting young men."

Seriously. It's a commercial for boxer shorts, people. Merry freaking Christmas, everyone.

The ride of a lifetime?

A Target opened about a mile from our house last fall. It's located on the top floor of a four-story building, so it has one of those cool conveyor belt escalators you can put your cart on as you ride the regular escalator.

While it seems pretty self-explanatory in terms of what you should and shouldn't do, one has to wonder if the sign was put up in response to parents letting their children ride the conveyor belt, or if it's just protection from liability. And I love the misplaced modifier "from the bottom of the cart"—or are there really parents who let their children ride in the bottom of the cart?

In that case, here's your sign...

The truth about shampoo purchases?

As usual, I'm an outlier. But that should be a surprise to no one.

I have far too many shampoos in my shower, although I'm not as particular about what they smell like. I have my good luck shampoo, which I use on important days (don't judge), I have my clarifying shampoo, and just a whole lot of others. I like options.

I'm not against holidays, just ones that go for two months...

...and, apparently, so is Nordstrom.

Having worked in retail during the holidays, there are only so many times I can hear the same songs over and over, so I'm just not a fan of getting ready for Christmas just after Halloween. (I am a fan of getting ready for Halloween right after the summer ends, if only for Reese's Pumpkins.)

I hope Santa doesn't get upset by this...

Hang it up...

Cell phones have greatly enhanced our ability to keep in touch, solve problems and get information wherever we are, and provide assistance in an emergency. Yet they've also turned us into more self-centered and rude individuals, seemingly oblivious to those around us and those with whom we're interacting. We don't seem to realize that everyone in an elevator or at an airport boarding gate isn't interested in hearing us shout to whomever we're speaking.

I know we've all lamented from time to time about the way customer service seems to be declining in stores, and it's certainly true. But so is the reverse—I can't tell you how many times I've seen a person go to the deli counter, a cashier, a pharmacist, and never once pause their cell phone conversation to acknowledge or thank the person assisting them. I've seen this happen three times today, in fact, and in none of those conversations was someone giving step-by-step emergency tracheotomy instructions or speaking to a person in distress.

Nearly all of us has been on a cell phone when we walk into a store. It's only natural these days—you get a phone call in the car and continue your conversation as you run your errands. But when you get ready to pay for your stuff, or request something from a sales associate or deli employee, is it that hard to either put your call on hold briefly or offer to call the person back while you deal with the actual human being in front of you?

Don't you get offended when you greet someone and they don't reciprocate, or you do something for someone and they don't say thank you? Imagine how the cashier or sales associate feels when they greet you, give you what you asked for, or say thank you, and all they get in return is listening to your continued conversation. I always tell the person to whom I'm speaking that I'll either call them back or ask them to hold on briefly so I'm not rude to the person in front of me.

It only takes a second to be polite. I'll bet even the person on the other end of the cell phone conversation wouldn't object!

Just a thought...

Slim (fit) pickings...

For me, clothes shopping is a frustrating and depressing experience.

Sometimes I feel like a cranky old man (which I am not), because every pair of shorts I try on are too long for my super-short legs. Cargo shorts look like cargo pants on me. And don't get me started on capris for men.

It doesn't matter if I'm feeling good about how I look or not, once I find myself in a clothing store, I often can't find clothes that I like that fit the way they should.

And it's not all my fault—the fashion industry's continuing obsession with all things slim fit (despite there being a serious obesity crisis in America) befuddles me.

Sure, I'm not as thin as I'd like to be, but what I'm working on is trying to find a balance between a healthy weight and one that is realistic to manage. (I've been super thin before, and if I'm willing to eat air and work out 12 times a week, I can get there again, but I'd like to have a life, too.) The fact is, though, that I'm a pretty big guy, even when my weight is down. I'm built kind of like a football player, albeit one without the coordination to actually play football.

See the pictures at the top of this post? That is what the majority of clothing designers are designing for these days. I am not one of those people, nor will I ever be. And I'm fine with that, except for the fact that more and more clothing is being designed in this way.

I completely understand that clothing geared toward younger people can and should trend toward a slimmer fit. That's fine. I have no need for low-rise skinny jeans, and don't need to throw on scarves anyway, except when it's cold. But I don't need to shop in the big and tall store, and I'm not ready to visit the old men's section just yet.

When a person who always wears the same size shirt suddenly can't fit in that size and their body hasn't changed, something's got to give. If an XL shirt fits a person who normally wears a medium, what does someone who normally wears an XXL need, a tent? And what is the need for a slim fit XXL shirt anyway? Is every clothing company suddenly outfitting only football players?

Shouldn't being able to find clothes you like in your size be an unalienable right? I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.