Book Review: "Nothing Tastes As Good" by Luke Dumas

I am powerless in the face of Bookstagram FOMO. So many of my friends have been praising this book nonstop, and while this isn’t a genre I read that often, I felt like I had to give it a try. It definitely hit close to home for me A LOT, but it really was excellent.

Emmett has struggled with his weight since childhood and now, in his early 30s, he weighs over 300 pounds. He hates the way he looks, the way his clothes don’t fit right, and his lack of energy. But what he hates most is the way people—colleagues, strangers, his family—treat him because of his weight.

“Because fat isn’t something you wear, like a piece of clothing. When you live with it long enough, when it’s a part of who you are, that shit goes all the way down.”

With his health deteriorating and his desire to be thin again, he enrolls in a clinical trial for Obexity, a new weight loss drug. He has nothing to lose, except weight, right? The treatment itself is horribly traumatizing, but once the drug kicks in—wow! He’s losing weight rapidly, and for the first time in a long time, guys are attracted to him, people are nicer, and he feels better about himself. Tracking his weight loss journey on social media nets him praise from his followers.

After a while, he’s lost a tremendous amount of weight, but he’s starting to feel weird. He’s having memory lapses and overwhelming hunger cravings. And then people who mistreated him start disappearing, and the police suspect coyotes, but Emmett is growing more fearful about what the drug is making him do.

This is definitely a bit gruesome and violent, but it’s so, so good. As someone who endured the ridicule and punishment for eating more than I should have, Emmett’s life triggered lots of emotions for me. I honestly loved the fact that Luke Dumas imbued this book with so much heart instead of just gore and violence. This really blew me away.

Book Review: "In Gad We Trust: A Tell-Some" by Josh Gad

From the first time I saw him stumble onto the stage in The Book of Mormon, I’ve been a fan of Josh Gad’s. Whether seeing his face or just hearing his voice (as Olaf in Frozen), his presence in a show adds laughter and heart.

I’m always fascinated by funny people and what makes them tick. Where did their sense of humor and desire to make people laugh come from?

For Gad, his “radioactive-spider-bite-inception moment” was in kindergarten, when his mother threw his father out of the house for being unfaithful to her.

“The trauma of going from a full family unit to a broken household in a matter of minutes was fairly earth-shattering to me, but it would also set me on a course to become the entertainer I would one day be.”

What I enjoyed about this “Tell-Some” was the combination of Gad’s humorous asides and times when he addressed things that affected him emotionally. He talks about his parents’ divorce, his struggle with his weight and self-image, and what it felt like to become a father in the midst of his career trajectory starting to rise.

I don’t read a lot of memoirs, particularly celebrity memoirs, but there’s something about Gad that reminds me of myself. (In the fat Jewish kid who desperately wanted to show all of his doubters how talented he was way, not the Tony-nominated actor way.) It definitely revealed his complexity and served as a reminder that you never know what a person is going through just by looking at them!

Now…do you want to build a snowman?

Book Review: "T-Shirt Swim Club: Stories from Being Fat in a World of Thin People" by Ian Karmel and Alisa Karmel

“To be fat in America is to be subject to a ceaseless and powerful campaign to make you feel ashamed of yourself. It happens directly, it happens indirectly, on purpose and by happenstance, but no matter how it happens, it’s cruel and constant and consistent.”

Ian Karmel is a comedian and comedy writer who was the co-head writer for The Late Late Show with James Corden. He’s also struggled with his weight for the majority of his life—he’s weighed as much as 420 pounds and now is comfortable with where he is. (Mostly.)

In this deeply personal, funny, and thought-provoking memoir, Karmel recounts his experiences growing up fat, from his early childhood to the days where he was at his heaviest, as well as his reflections on his journey to a place where he feels more in control of his weight. He touches on everything from dealing with the ridicule of his classmates (not to mention teachers and other adults), the myriad diets he tried, his success as a football player in high school, and what it was like trying to find someone to date.

“Now that I’m an adult, I can see all the terrible places I went, physically and mentally, because I was a fat kid.”

The last section of the book, “What Now?”, is written by Karmel’s sister Alisa, a psychologist who provides counseling for weight-centric concerns. She also struggled with being fat, so her section deals with more of the facts than the feelings.

As someone who has dealt with weight issues for most of my life, this book definitely hit close to home for me. The emotions, the shame, the diet attempts, the reaction of others—my experiences were similar but different. I found this very meaningful and cathartic in a way.

Book Review: "The Great Cool Ranch Dorito in the Sky" by Josh Galarza

How could I resist reading a book with a title like this, even though I’m a Doritos purist? As lighthearted as the title is, however, this book packs a real emotional punch.

Life can be challenging when you’re a teenager, but for Brett, things are even harder. His adoptive mother has cancer, so he’s living with his best friend, Reed. The only things that make him feel better are drawing comics and eating. He eats a lot, so of course, he finds himself upset with how he looks, which leads to bulimia.

Brett doesn’t really think there’s a problem with binging and purging all the time. And when some of his journal entries are leaked online by someone he trusted, he hits rock bottom. But then he starts to realize that he has a problem and needs help, and he discovers that he’s not as alone as he thinks.

This is a tough book to read. You really feel Brett’s sadness and trauma, and it’s fairly graphic in describing his eating disorder. However, this book is so important, because there are so few books out there that address eating disorders in teenage boys.

As someone who struggled with my weight all through high school (and beyond), this definitely hit close to home for me. But while the book is a bit heavy, it’s also hopeful. It’s a story about asking for help and realizing you’re not alone. It’s also a story about love, of friends and chosen family, but also loving yourself.

Thanks to NetGalley and Henry Holt Books for Young Readers for the advance copy. The book will publish 7/23.

Book Review: "Piglet" by Lottie Hazell

I don’t think I’ve ever been hungrier than I was while reading this book. And I don’t mean it metaphorically—this book has some of the most gorgeously sumptuous descriptions of food and cooking that I’ve ever seen. This is definitely a book that needed recipes included!!

Unable to escape her childhood nickname, Piglet is excited about her life. She and her fiancé, Kit, have just bought a house and they’ll be married in 9 weeks. She loves her job as a cookbook editor, but what she loves more than anything is cooking elaborate meals, whether when she and Kit are entertaining or just for the two of them.

Two weeks before their wedding, Kit confesses that he has betrayed Piglet. She has no idea what to do. Should she forgive him and go on with the wedding? Should she cancel everything before things go much further? And as devastated and angry as she feels, why is she always so ravenous?

As the wedding approaches, Piglet seems ready to forgive and move on. After all, that seems to be what nearly everyone expects of her. But like a painstakingly created recipe, everything needs to be just right, and that’s the last thing Piglet feels to be true.

I loved the way this was written, especially the vivid ways Lottie Hazell describes things. But the story itself never really pulled me in—it kept me at arm’s length and never really gave details about certain things.

Book Review: "Good in Bed" by Jennifer Weiner

Sorry if this makes you feel old, but Good in Bed, Jennifer Weiner’s debut novel, is celebrating its 20th anniversary!

Cannie feels like she’s in a good place. She has a job she loves as a pop culture reporter, good friends, a dog, and she’s even feeling reasonably okay about her body, which is no easy thing for her. And then her happy place gets blown to smithereens when she learns that Bruce, her ex-boyfriend, has penned an article for a popular magazine called, “Loving a Larger Woman.”

At first she is devastated. How can someone she thought loved her do this to her? She wants to get even. She wonders if she’ll ever find anyone to love her when she’s not your “typical” woman (read: model-thin).

What ensues is a funny, heartwarming, thought-provoking journey of self-discovery. Cannie is a tremendously real character and many of the things that she feels and does (although not all) are very genuine. As someone who has struggled with my weight my whole life, I totally felt the range of emotions she went through, and I totally loved that everything wasn't solved with her suddenly becoming thin and beautiful!

Amazingly, although Weiner has been writing books for 20 years, I only have read her last few books, so I have her whole backlist to explore. And if there are more books like this, I’ll happily dive in!

Thanks to Atria Books for the complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review!!

Book Review: "If the Shoe Fits" by Julie Murphy

Julie Murphy's new rom-com asks the question, Can a real happy ending be found on reality television?

So here’s a question: is a “Cinderella story” the same as a retelling of Cinderella? Because while I’ve heard If the Shoe Fits called a retelling, it’s perhaps one in the loosest sense, but that doesn’t detract from its charm.

Cindy is an aspiring shoe designer with a passion for fashion, but as a plus-sized woman, she’s often frustrated by the lack of options she has. With no real career prospects on the horizon, she moves home to live with her stepmother, a famous reality show producer, to help care for her three young half-siblings.

When a contestant is needed on her stepmother’s most famous dating show, Cindy decides to take the chance and fill in. She can show off her fashion sense and maybe jumpstart her career. What she doesn’t expect is that she’ll capture the hearts of the viewing public because of her size and her clothes.

To her surprise, she finds herself actually falling for the show’s eligible bachelor, and she deals with jealous and competitive contestants and the manipulation that comes from “reality” television. But in the end, will the show allow someone like her to get her happy ending, or does she need to go after it herself?

If the Shoe Fits was a sweet story, a kinder, gentler version of the spectacular One to Watch, which was one of my favorites last year. Murphy’s writing is always so positive and charming, but not really focusing on much of the negatives that a plus-size contestant would actually face on a show like this made the book seem more like a fairytale. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Book Review: "Milk Fed" by Melissa Broder

Thought-provoking and intense, Melissa Broder's new novel, Milk Fed, is a story of one woman’s obsession with her eating habits, as well as a look at sexuality, religion, and relationships.

Rachel has always been fanatical about what she eats. She loves food, but from a young age, her mother ingrained in her a fear of gaining weight and looking fat. Every day is spent longing for delicious delicacies, but she has a regimented meal and exercise plan that she follows obsessively.

When her therapist suggests a 90-day communication “detox” from her mother to help Rachel confront her eating issues, Rachel meets Miriam, a young, zaftig, Orthodox Jewish woman. Miriam’s apparent confidence with her body and her unabashed love of food and eating utterly appeals to Rachel, and it’s not long before she starts eating that way, too.

But old habits die hard, and Rachel finds herself torn between the obsessions deeply ingrained in her psyche and the renewed love for eating she has found with Miriam. She also finds herself completely infatuated with Miriam, both sexually and religiously, and she can’t get enough of her.

Broder is a bold writer, one who goes for broke with every word. Like her previous book, The Pisces, Broder creates intense sex scenes that are graphic, and she also is frank about biological functions and other things. But at the same time, there’s an underlying sensitivity in dealing with the issues Rachel faces, and how she needs help.

As someone who has struggled with my weight since childhood, this book hit me hard in certain ways. I recognize the obsessions, the need to subsist on a wholly unrealistic number of calories, the pressures from family about what I ate and how I looked. (I actually had a great-uncle who used to grab my stomach whenever he'd see me, as if to tell me I was fat. So amusing.) For those who have struggled with eating disorders or food-related issues or anxieties, this book may be a real trigger for you.

Broder is tremendously talented and her books always give you something to think about. Milk Fed is certainly no exception.

Dart Frogg Communications and Scribner Books gave me a complimentary advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!!

Book Review: "Here the Whole Time" by Vitor Martins, translated by Larissa Helena

Here the Whole Time literally made me happy cry.

From its dedication, which read, “For anyone who has ever gotten into a pool with their shirt on,” I knew this book was for me. I haven't found a book that spoke to me so directly in a while.

At school, Felipe is teased constantly about his weight. He knows there are people in his home country of Brazil with bigger problems, but he can’t think about those because of the constant abuse he takes from his classmates, even the stares from people on the street. He's just so tired of being self-conscious all the time.

Winter break is nearly here and he’s looking forward to two weeks away from the hell of school, of doing little but binge-watching Netflix. But that excitement dies quickly when he learns that Caio, a boy who lives in his apartment building, will be staying with Felipe and his mother while his parents are on vacation.

Felipe has had a crush on Caio for as long as he can remember. They even used to be friends when they were younger, until Felipe became self-conscious about his weight. But Caio is handsome and there’s no way he’d be interested in him. For Felipe, who is painfully shy about how he looks, to have to share a room with his crush for two weeks, will be torture. Or will it?

Having struggled with my weight for most of my life, especially in high school, I felt this story so strongly. I loved these characters and their laughs and struggles and fears, what it feels like to be the target of ridicule and even better, how magical it feels to click with someone.

Like with rom-coms, you know what will happen here but you enjoy the journey of getting there. Vitor Martins created such a terrifically beautiful story. This was just so special, funny, and lovely. I'll be thinking of Here the Whole Time for a long time!

Book Review: "One to Watch" by Kate Stayman-London

Boy, I sure did love this one!!

Bea Schumacher is a popular plus-size fashion blogger, determined to show women they can look and feel beautiful, no matter what the fashion world and others may demonstrate.

But while she demonstrates confidence and pride outwardly, she doesn’t always feel worthy inside. And when the one man she’s been in love with forever leaves her hanging and hurting one time too many, she wonders if she’ll ever find the right person.

After a ranting blog post about a popular dating show’s lack of body diversity, the show’s eager new producer offers Bea the chance to become the next bachelorette on "Main Squeeze," so she could choose one lucky suitor among men vying for her heart. Bea wants to do it to show the world that you don’t have to be stick-thin to be worthy of love, and she hopes that she can further her career by appearing on the show.

However, the one thing Bea does NOT want to do is fall in love. Yet as much as she steels herself against getting her emotions involved, when amidst a group of handsome men (some of whom seem genuinely interested in her), going on romantic dates to beautiful locales, and being dressed in gorgeous outfits, how can her heart not be moved? But is true love possible from a show like this, or does her heart still belong to the man from her past?

I’ve never watched “The Bachelor” in its various permutations but I was utterly hooked on One to Watch. Having struggled with my weight most of my life, I recognized some of the things that Bea felt and thought the book did a great job in being realistic about the various reactions people had to her. All of the various dates and manipulations were pretty interesting as well, and I wondered how closely they hewed to the shows this was modeled on.

This is a funny, sexy, emotional book that I stayed up super late to finish. I could totally see this as a movie or series I’d absolutely binge watch!! Kudos to Kate Stayman-London for such a great story!!

Book Review: "Big Summer" by Jennifer Weiner

Big Summer, Jennifer Weiner's newest novel, is a thought-provoking, poignant exploration of friendship, self-esteem, body image, social media, and whether people truly are capable of change.

If she’s not completely happy, Daphne is at least content with her life. She’s starting to gain momentum as a social media influencer for the plus-size community, she likes her job and her apartment, and she’s even starting to feel a bit better about how she looks.

When her childhood best friend Drue shows up after they haven’t spoken in six years, Daphne is thrown for a loop. Drue is set to marry a reality show star on Cape Cod, and she wants Daphne to be in her wedding. Drue says she’s changed since the night of their big fight, and although that night changed Daphne in many ways, she’s willing to give Drue the benefit of the doubt, despite the numerous times Drue made her feel bad about herself.

I’ll stop with any synopsis here because this is a book that surprises, and the less you know about it going in, the better. Weiner creates believable, complex characters, and she pulls you into this story completely.

I struggled a little at the beginning because the narration of the book kept shifting from Daphne’s childhood memories to present-day, but after a little bit of time that leveled off and I was totally hooked. There are a lot of powerful themes Weiner touches on in the book but she’s never heavy-handed in her messaging.

Atria Books and Ariele Stewart provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thank you for making it available!!

This book publishes May 5.

Book Review: "Elevation" by Stephen King

When I decided to read Stephen King's new novella, Elevation, at around 11:00 p.m. last night, I will admit I wondered what I was thinking. Would my reward for checking out King's latest be a nightmare or two?

I needn't have worried. While Elevation is a little eerie, it's more a story about interpersonal relationships, about how one small action can ripple and truly make a difference in the lives of so many. And while King is a master of triggering our fears and creating horrifying situations, the kinder, gentler King provided thought-provoking moments and moments of poignancy, too.

Scott Carey has been losing weight pretty steadily. There's little argument he could stand to lose a few pounds, but he seems to be losing weight every day, no matter how much he eats or how little exercise he does. It's not just that—he weighs the same amount whether or not he's fully dressed, even if his clothes are laden down with coins or other heavy things. He knows it could be something serious, but he's more convinced it's something mysterious, and he has no interest in being kept in the hospital while he's poked and prodded over and over again.

With nowhere else to turn, he confides in his old doctor and friend, Doctor Bob. Doctor Bob cannot believe what he's seeing, although he can't think of a logical explanation for what Scott is going through. Once he realizes he can't convince Scott to go to his real doctor (Bob has been retired for some time), he's willing just to observe what's going on, so someone other than Scott knows what he's going through.

"You could feel weight, yes—when you were carrying too much, it made you ploddy—but wasn't it, like time, basically just a human construct? Hands on a clock, numbers on a bathroom scale, weren't they only ways of trying to measure invisible forces that had visible effects? A feeble effort to corral some greater reality beyond what mere humans thought of as reality?"

As much as Scott is focused on his weight loss issues, he's also flummoxed by the tension between him and his neighbors in Castle Rock, a married lesbian couple who moved to town to open a vegetarian Mexican restaurant. Their dogs seem to be fond of leaving their calling cards on his lawn, and he'd like it to stop, but he had no idea that simple request would cause such bad blood between him and one of the women. While her wife is friendly, she is icy cold—and isn't interested in anything Scott has to say, even if he's trying to be hospitable or helpful.

Little by little, Scott realizes what a difficult battle these women face in a town that doesn't mind if they "keep to themselves," but the fact that they say they're married, and want to be part of public life—well, that just won't do. As Scott confronts his own prejudices and tries to help the townspeople realize how backwards their thinking is, it actually causes more tension—until he makes a split-second decision during the town's annual 12K race, which changes everything.

Scott's own problem doesn't go away; in fact, it starts escalating. But suddenly he's surrounded by a group of people who once thought the worst of each other and themselves, and they help him accept the reality of an unreal situation, and decide how to handle things once "zero day" arrives.

Elevation is utterly compelling, and at 160 pages, I couldn't stop reading until I finished. I had no idea what to expect, and given my experience reading King's books, I kept waiting for everything to go off the rails. While it was a relief that it didn't, at the same time, I'm not sure if the book was meant to be more a story of human kindness with a little oddity thrown in than anything else.

Perhaps it could have used a little bit of a jolt, although it might have altered the heart of the story. I'm just going to assume that in the midst of a world growing ever more angry, more divided, more disappointed, and more pessimistic, King provided the antidote we needed—the reminder that the smallest action can make a positive change.

It's a good message, and at least I didn't have to worry about Pennywise the Clown visiting my dreams.

Book Review: "Holding up the Universe" by Jennifer Niven

Don't go into reading Jennifer Niven's new novel, Holding Up the Universe, thinking this is going to be identical to the phenomenal All the Bright Places (which made my list of the best books I read last year), in tone or the emotional power of its subject matter. I don't say this to denigrate Niven's new book in any way—I think with this book she set out to tell a different and more personal story, yet one with slightly more universal themes.

"You know how it's easy to believe everything is about you, especially when something goes wrong? Why me? Why do I have the worst luck ever? Why is the universe so mean? Why does everyone hate me? My mom used to say sometimes it's actually about the other person and you just happen to be there. Like sometimes the other person needs to learn a lesson or go through an experience, good or bad, and you're just an accessory in some way, like a supporting actor in whatever their scene happens to be."

Libby Strout has already had a brush with notoriety. Once dubbed "America's Fattest Teen," when she weighed 653 pounds at her heaviest and had to be cut out of her childhood home while the media watched, she's spent the last two years being home schooled while she recovered. Now 302 pounds lighter, she's ready to go back to high school and be someone different, someone with tremendous possibilities, new friends, maybe even someone that a guy could fall in love with.

When Libby meets Jack Masselin for the first time, it's an encounter that winds up with both of them getting detention, having to go to counseling, and participate in community service for their school. Jack has always seemed like someone who has it all, and knows it—he's good-looking, a bit cocky, and tends to swagger through school. But this bravado hides a significant vulnerability: Jack has prosopagnosia, or the inability to recognize faces, even those of his family members or people he's known all his life. Each time he sees someone, he has to try and figure out who they are, and he's not always successful, which leads to more uncomfortable situations than he'd like.

In Jack, Libby sees someone who is hiding their true self, someone who understands what it's like to have secrets and sadness and emotional anguish, while in Libby, Jack sees fearlessness, even when she's being mistreated. But as much as he's drawn to Libby he has to wonder if the persona he needs to maintain in order to protect his secret would ever really give someone like Libby attention. And Libby has to decide whether pursuing everything she wants without worrying about the consequences is actually worthwhile, or if she should just do her best to hide in the background.

Holding Up the Universe is a story about finding courage when you feel you don't have any, and not letting anyone sway you from what you want. It's also a book about finding hope after loss and difficult times, and how to hang on to that hope in the face of adversity. But more than that, this is a book about letting people see who you really are, and admitting when you need help.

There were things I really loved about this book and things that bothered me. I liked some of the characters very much, and loved how Niven revealed their complexities little by little. This certainly was a unique story in many ways, but it didn't feel gimmicky in any way, and there was so much emotion and heart in this story, but it never felt emotionally manipulative.

What bothered me is just how cruel Libby's classmates were (even if I know this fact better than I'd like to admit, even all these years later), how unending that cruelty was, and how she really wasn't willing to tell anyone what was going on. There were a lot of things which remained unsaid in this book, and I found that frustrating. I also admit that I wondered whether someone like Jack would actually find himself falling for a girl who still weighed 350 pounds, and that distracted me a little bit.

I issued my warning at the start of my review because I'll admit I went in hoping for another All the Bright Places, so some of my disappointment was my own unrealistic expectations. But once I gave it a fair chance, I really enjoyed Holding Up the Universe. It's a book that deserves to be read on its own merit, and although it didn't touch my heart as much as Niven's last book, it still proved Niven's tremendous talent.

Book Review: "The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo" by Amy Schumer

Because I spend more time reading and going to the movies than watching television, I'll admit I was a little bit late to the party where Amy Schumer was concerned. I know I heard her name, but wasn't familiar with her comedy until I saw an article on Facebook referencing an appearance she made on Ellen DeGeneres' show, where she made Ellen laugh out loud more than a few times. (Needless to say, I did, too.)

Once I found her, I became a pretty big fan, watching most of her stand-up specials and her television show, and of course, seeing her movie debut, Trainwreck. Her humor is certainly not for everyone, and as a man, some of her jokes get lost on me, but I love her comic timing and her talent to be self-deprecating in a hysterical way. So while I don't traditionally read celebrity books, I decided to give The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo a try, not really sure what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised at the way she balanced her humor (including some things she has done in stand-up) and her journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance.

"I know my worth. I embrace my power. I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story. I will. I'll speak and share and fuck and love, and I will never apologize for it. I am amazing for you, not because of you. I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you."

Schumer made me laugh out loud more than a few times (if you're a fan, don't read this on public transportation unless you don't mind people thinking you're losing your mind), she made me chuckle and smile quite a bit, made me a little uncomfortable sometimes, and beyond that, made me think. She's not afraid to say exactly how she feels about issues, people, sex, drugs, her family, stand-up comedy, women's rights, even gun control. She touches on growing up as a child of a broken marriage, and how her parents' issues affected her. She also talks about her insecurity about her own looks, and how she finally was able to embrace confidence in the face of those who criticize and disparage her.

This is a fun and occasionally moving read, and while I felt she went on a little too long at times, I really enjoyed it. Schumer doesn't try to be anyone other than who she is, and I think she'd be a fascinating person to know and spend time with. If you're not a fan, or if strong language and sexual references make you uncomfortable, this might not be a book for you. But if you like a good laugh, and like to know how different celebrities are in "real" life versus their onstage/onscreen persona, check this one out.

"I look at the saddest things in life and laugh at how awful they are, because they are hilarious and it's all we can do with moments that are painful."