Book Review: "Searching for John Hughes: Or Everything I Thought I Needed to Know about Life I Learned from Watching '80s Movies" by Jason Diamond

As I've remarked on countless occasions, I'm kind of obsessed with all things 1980s. That was the decade of middle school, high school, and part of college, so it represents some pretty significant times in my life, and the movies, television shows, music, celebrities, and other pop culture phenomena of that decade served as touch points, a soundtrack and backdrop along the way.

I'm also a huge movie buff, so I remember spending an immense amount of time at the movies in the 80s, or watching videos over and over again. John Hughes' movies—in particular, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Some Kind of Wonderful and Ferris Bueller's Day Off—still are among my favorites, and I can still recite lines from each of them at any time. (Scarily enough, I can even tell you who I was with when I saw these movies for the first time, and where we saw them. Egads.)

Needless to say, when I first heard about Jason Diamond's book, I couldn't wait to read it. Another Hughes fan, who actually was passionate enough about his movies to write a book about them?

"Hughes accomplished the almost impossible task of making me feel inspired. They made me feel as if I could get out and be better. I related to the teens in his movies, their happiness, their sadness, the anger, angst, and longing."

Searching for John Hughes is Diamond's account of his (immensely) troubled childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, his (incredibly) troubled relationships with his parents, his inability to do much in school except take drugs and zone out, and his struggle to make something of himself and be happy with himself as he grew older. Hughes' movies provided comfort, inspiration, a feeling of kinship, and it was finally the man behind the movies who became the focus of Diamond's obsession, his quest to write Hughes' biography.

I guess I never dug more into the description of this book than the title, because I really expected it to be a discussion of Hughes' movies and their significance to pop culture at the time they were released, and why so many of them continue to endure today, for kids who weren't alive in the 1980s and (shudder) 1990s. Instead, this was more of a memoir of a guy trying desperately to make it in spite of really difficult circumstances, of trying to find a purpose, and find confidence in his future.

Diamond is a really good writer, but his story is really, really harrowing, so much so it became difficult to read after a while. The fact that he found the strength to keep moving forward despite so much adversity, and finally has a career as a writer after spending years writing whatever came to mind is tremendously inspiring. I would love to read more of his writing, but this book just didn't click for me, especially because I was expecting something totally different.

Book Review: "You Will Not Have My Hate" by Antoine Leiris

"So, no, I will not give you the satisfaction of hating you. That is what you want, but to respond to your hate with anger would be to yield to the same ignorance that made you what you are. You want me to be scared, to see my fellow citizens through suspicious eyes, to sacrifice my freedom for security. You have failed. I will not change."

I, like so many people across the world, was riveted to my television the night of November 13, 2015, as we learned of the coordinated terrorist attacks in Paris, particularly the massacre at the Bataclan Theater, which left 90 concert-goers dead and countless more injured. Among those killed was Hélène Muyal-Leiris, a young wife and mother who was attending the concert with a friend.

Three days after his wife's murder, Antoine Leiris wrote a letter to her killers, which he subsequently published on Facebook. He let them, and the world, know that while he had every right to be angry, to hate the terrorists for taking his wife from him and his young son, he wouldn't allow them the luxury of his hate. His post went viral, and Leiris became an inspiration not only to others who lost people in the Paris attacks, but to anyone struggling with a senseless loss at the hands of another. This new role became as much a burden at times as it did an honor.

"Since then, I have been lost: I don't know where I'm going, I don't know how to get there. You can't really count on me...I think about all the others who have written to me. I want to tell them that I feel dwarfed by my own words. Even if I try to convince myself that they are mine, I don't know if I will live up to them. From one day to the next, I might drown."

You Will Not Have My Hate is a short, powerful account of the days and weeks following Hélène's murder. It is raw, emotional, and utterly mesmerizing how Leiris was able to find the strength he needed to face raising his young son alone, handling the rituals alone which he and his wife once performed together. It is also a portrait of a love story and a testament to a woman who left her indelible mark on two lives, although one never really had the chance to know her.

I thought this was beautifully written, emotional without being maudlin, fiercely courageous, and, as you'd imagine, totally moving. But beyond that, I found this really inspirational, both as an account of overcoming a sudden loss and a paean to finding strength and resolve at a time when you have every right not to.

Between this and Paul Kalanithi's exceptional When Breath Becomes Air (see my review), I've found two books to turn to when life's challenges may seem insurmountable. Because if these two men could find the strength to soldier on, I know I will be, too.

Book Review: "A List of Cages" by Robin Roe

This book is at times harrowing and heartbreaking, at times hopeful. But what adds to this book's power is the fact that its plot isn't fantasy, and there are children dealing with these issues every day.

Life changed for Julian five years ago when his beloved parents died. He lived with a foster family until a relative took him in. He misses his parents every day, and this loss truly encompasses him, because they understood him, they supported his creativity, and made life fun.

"It's strange how many ways there are to miss someone. You miss the things they did and who they were, but you also miss who you were to them. The way everything you said and did was beautiful or entertaining or important. How much you mattered."

Now a high school freshman, life couldn't be further from fun. Julian has a number of learning disabilities, including dyslexia, which make school absolute hell for him, and his teachers don't care enough to find out what his problems are, they just berate him, fail him, and send him to the principal. His fellow students ridicule him as well. And he constantly feels as if he is living on eggshells at home, where one wrong step could spell disaster.

One day, Julian is shocked to encounter Adam, who was once his foster brother. Adam, a high school senior assigned to help the school psychologist track down Julian for his appointments (which he always conveniently misses), is excited to see Julian again. He remembers many of the things Julian enjoyed when he was younger, and does everything he can to integrate Julian into his wide circle of friends, despite the difference in their ages, and despite Julian's efforts to try not to call attention to himself.

Adam, who tries valiantly to keep his own ADHD in check (not always successfully), is dealing with his own issues, including a crush on a long-time friend, and his best friend Charlie's unhappiness. But he wants Julian to be a part of his life, and he wants to understand what is happening to him—why is he absent without warning for a few days, why is no one allowed over to his house, why would this relative that took Julian in all those years ago not pay for clothes that fit him?

"He's only four years younger than me, but I feel so much older, or maybe he feels so much younger. I used to think struggle was what aged you, but if that were the case, Julian should've been a hundred years old. Now I wonder if the opposite is true. Maybe instead of accelerating your age, pain won't let you grow."

Things come to a head when Adam starts suspecting things are worse for Julian than he lets on, and Julian tries desperately to keep his friend from finding out the truth. Adam's quest to rescue his friend could wind up seriously endangering both of their lives.

A List of Cages is a sad story that is all too commonplace. Julian is a tremendously special character whose hurt and pain reminded me a tiny bit of Jude's in A Little Life, although the books are vastly different. I enjoyed Adam's character, too, as well as those of his friends and even his mother. I never felt that these kids were more erudite than they should be, which happens all too often in young adult novels.

While the plot isn't necessarily surprising (perhaps we've sadly all become a little too familiar with instances like these), Robin Roe pulls you in to Julian and Adam's stories, makes you care, and makes you feel in the process. I could have done without the one melodramatic plot point, but beyond that, this story gripped me from start to finish. It's hard to read at times because it is so harrowing, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope this book finds a wide audience because of its subject matter, but also because Roe's storytelling ability is so powerful. I'm glad I had the opportunity to read it.

NetGalley and Disney-Hyperion provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making this available!

Book Review: "Everything You Want Me to Be" by Mindy Mejia

Hattie Hoffman is a talented, intelligent, beautiful high school senior who wants more out of life than her small Minnesota hometown can offer. She dreams of becoming an actress, of moving to New York City just after graduation. She already has a plan, even if she doesn't know anyone or have much money. She has the talent and she has the drive, but no one around her, not her friends or her family, really understand why she wants to leave, nor do they want her to go.

As her high school career comes to an end, her crowning achievement is starring as Lady Macbeth in her school's production of the Shakespearean tragedy. Her opening night performance was fantastic, and for the first time, people actually started to believe she could make it in New York. But what happened after she left the school after the play? How did she end up murdered?

Hattie's small town is rocked by her murder. Things like this just don't happen in this town, which throws Del Goodman, the local sheriff, for a complete loop. Hattie, the daughter of his fishing buddy, is a girl he has known and adored since she was born. As he investigates Hattie's murder, he uncovers as many unanswered questions as he does facts. Was this, as her best friend has suggested, caused by the famous Macbeth "curse," or was someone (or more than person) responsible for snuffing out this promising life?

What Del discovers as he digs deeper into the case is that Hattie was not only a talented actress—she was talented at being exactly who everyone needed her to be. The slightly rebellious yet loyal daughter, the perfect girlfriend, the exceptional student, the patient listener and friend, the talented actress. But who was Hattie really, and was this mercurial nature responsible, at least in some way, for instigating her death?

Everything You Want Me to Be is a fascinating, suspenseful portrait of a girl torn between what she wanted and what she thought everyone else wanted her to be. The book is narrated by Hattie, Del, and Peter Lund, Hattie's English teacher, who is reasonably new to town, and it shifts between the months and days leading up to Hattie's murder and the investigation.

Mindy Mejia throws in lots of twists and turns, and while the cynical, frequent-mystery-reading me suspected absolutely everyone, I really liked how she let the story unfold. This is a tragedy on many levels, and Mejia's storytelling hooks you from the start and doesn't let you turn away until you see how the book ends. I really enjoyed this and would have devoured it a lot quicker was I not cooking Thanksgiving dinner for 30 people this week!

This is definitely a book to pick up, because even though we've seen elements of this plot before, Mejia makes it seem fresh and makes you care about her characters.

NetGalley and Atria/Emily Bestler Books provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making this available!

Book Review: "Good Behavior" by Blake Crouch

Blake Crouch blew my mind and threw me for a loop with Dark Matter (see my review). When I decided to read Good Behavior, a collection of three interlinked novellas, I wondered if lightning would strike twice for me when reading Crouch's books.

My verdict? Crouch really is one hell of a writer. While this book didn't quite take my breath away like Dark Matter did, he proved once again that he knows how to create some fantastic action scenes and ratchet up tension until you are absolutely dying to know what's going to happen next. And in Letty Dobesh, he has created a fantastically memorable character I hope we'll see again soon. (The adaptation of some of these stories, starring Downton Abbey's Michelle Dockery, is currently airing, and Crouch provides some insight into the creation of the television show in this book.)

Letty Dobesh is fresh out of prison. She has a son she's not fit to see, a drug habit that she can't quite seem to shake, and while she needs to get herself back on the straight and narrow, she realizes more and more that she's happiest when she's in the middle of a scheme—or using drugs. The sad thing is, despite a few missteps, she's generally really good at being a criminal.

In "The Pain of Others," Letty has returned to her old pastime of robbing hotel rooms when she overhears a conversation between two men, one who has just hired the other to kill his wife. Letty is unsure what to do. Should she contact the police, despite the compromising position she was in when she heard the murder being agreed upon? Should she just walk out of the room when she can and pretend she heard nothing? Or should she try and warn the wife of what is imminent?

In "Sunset Key," Letty is offered a multi-million dollar scheme from an old friend and fellow criminal. A very wealthy banker has been found guilty of defrauding millions of people, and he has been sentenced to a long prison term. He'd like to spend his last night of freedom with a special woman, and Letty can be that woman—for a price. And in "Bad," Letty gets the chance to be part of a heist unlike any others, but it is far from what she expected.

Each of these novellas has a lot of twists and turns, and while you think you know how Crouch will wrap things up, you're not always right. The first and the third novellas in particular ("The Pain of Others" and "Bad") really threw me for a loop a few times. I don't know what it will be like watching the television adaptations knowing all I know, but I'm definitely going to have to see Letty in motion.

Don't go into this expecting Dark Matter or even the Wayward Pines series (which I've definitely added to my list). These are more straightforward crime stories than anything else, but they're still fascinating and utterly compelling. I'm seriously a huge Blake Crouch fan now, not that I wasn't before!

Book Review: "The Impossible Fortress" by Jason Rekulak

All I need to do is hear that a book takes place in the 1980s and a little alarm in my head goes off that says, "Read this!" Throw in video games and 80s music (even the pop stuff), and I'm totally there!

It's 1987. Billy, Alf, and Clark are all 14, and they're pretty much obsessed with one thing—Playboy has just released pictures of Vanna White. They're determined to do whatever it takes to get their hands on this magazine, which means stealing it from the local office supply/convenience store. The boys hatch a rudimentary plan to get the magazine, and while their mission fails, Billy finds one bright spot: Mary, the daughter of the store's owner.

Mary is not only attractive (albeit a little overweight), but she's funny and tough. And smart—she even knows more about computer programming than Billy, who has created several games on his home computer, and taught himself to code. Mary promises to help Billy with his entry in a computer game design competition being judged by one of the industry's brightest young stars, and she helps him through more than a few tough spots he was stuck on.

When Alf and Clark launch a more complicated yet seemingly foolproof plan to steal the magazines from the store, they need someone to get the alarm code from Mary. Being less than knowledgeable about women, Alf and Clark seem to think they can fake-romance the code out of Mary, but Billy volunteers. He doesn't let on that he and Mary have teamed up on a contest entry, but promises to make progress in order to get the code.

The plot to get the magazines and see Vanna's pictures becomes more and more complicated. While Alf and Clark work on the logistics, Billy is all too happy to spend every evening with Mary, working on their game. He knows he feels something more than teamwork and camaraderie for Mary, and he thinks she feels the same way, but he's never had a girlfriend before, so he doesn't know what to do or how to act. Once the game has been entered into the contest, and things go a little bit awry, Billy is faced with an incredible dilemma: does he tell his friends how he feels about Mary and convince them to end their scheme, or does he keep his word and get the alarm code?

The Impossible Fortress does a good job capturing the cluelessness of teenage boys, and the single-minded pursuit of money, popularity, and naked pictures of women, although not necessarily in that order. It's an entertaining story about loyalty to your friends, the flush of first love, the desire to make something of yourself, and the excitement of creation. Jason Rekulak evokes the 80s really well; it's amazing how different things were back then, when you couldn't rely on the internet for information, when only certain people had a very slow version of email communication, and when no one was in constant communication with anyone.

While Rekulak does a good job portraying his characters' immaturity, he doesn't really give them much depth or appeal. While he throws in one interesting twist, everything else in the book is fairly predictable, and the characters behave much as you'd expect them to. I wouldn't have a problem if we got to know Alf and Clark a little more, but we really just see them acting like idiots and pressuring Billy. Mary is a fascinating character I would have liked more of, and Billy is appealing, while clueless. And for the most part, the boys go from scheme to scheme, each one wackier than the next.

If you're a child of the 80s, or you like entertaining stories about teenage friendships and the challenges of growing up, check out The Invisible Fortress. And as a bonus, you can play The Impossible Fortress game on Rekulak's website, www.jasonrekulak.com, if you're a computer game fan.

NetGalley and Simon & Schuster provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making this available!

Book Review: "Scrappy Little Nobody" by Anna Kendrick

So, I kinda have a thing for Anna Kendrick. I've been (healthily) obsessed with her since 2003, when she appeared in an indie movie called Camp, which was about kids attending a performing arts summer camp in upstate New York.

Anna played a young girl named Fritzi, who had an obsession with a girl named Jill, who starred in most of the plays that summer. But Jill mistreated Fritzi, so in the end, Fritzi got her revenge, as you'll see in the clip below. And fandom was born. (For those offended by strong language, the f-word appears once. Anna shows up about 25 seconds into the clip.)



Not only do I think she's an exceptionally talented singer and performer (I've worn out tracks from Into the Woods and The Last Five Years because I play them so much), but every time I see her on a talk show or make another appearance, I'm convinced that if we had anything in common (other than my admiration), we'd be super-close friends. We're both reasonably foul-mouthed, although not in a mean way (I hide it well when I have to) and totally sarcastic (again, not in a mean way), and neither of us suffers fools gladly. Seems like enough to build a friendship on, don't you think?

My instincts about her were definitely reinforced in Scrappy Little Nobody, her new collection of autobiographical essays which spanned from her childhood to the current time, tracing her anxieties, successes, fears, hang-ups, obsessions, and her sexual history. (Kind of.) This isn't a tell-all book in any way (although she has some nice things to say about a few celebrities, like Zac Efron), but rather a first-hand look at the growth of a star, from her earliest (disastrous) beginnings as a child in dance class to success, including Tony and Oscar nominations.

"I'd thought of myself as fearful and shrinking in childhood, but I was often single-minded and pugnacious. From age three onward I have been practical and skeptical and occasionally more courageous than I have any right to be."

At times uproariously funny (I seriously laughed out loud more than a few times) and incredibly self-aware, this is a tremendously entertaining book, but Kendrick isn't afraid to take herself down more than a few notches as often as she deems it necessary. Referring to her performing a local production of Annie when she was younger, she said:

"To this day, seeing a tattered brown cardigan or a pair of thin-soled lace-up boots makes my heart sing. In a costume context, not, like, on a person. I'm not some out-of-touch monster who sees real-world poverty and longs for the days of her musical-theater beginnings."

And of losing the Tony Award:

"I lost a Tony Award to Broadway legend Audra McDonald when I was twelve, so I've been a bitter bitch since before my first period...I also feel that if I had won and made a televised speech at age twelve, the delayed embarrassment would have been so severe, I'd currently be a Howard Hughes-style shut-in, but without the money for the mansion or the planes or the legion of servants to take away bottles of my urine."

This is frank and funny, and Kendrick doesn't mince words, and she says what's on her mind, so if candid conversation about her sex life and liberal use of curses bothers you, you might want to steer clear of this. But if not, this is the rare portrait of a talented star who takes herself less seriously than nearly anyone. It's refreshing and a hell of a lot of fun. (And I still think we could be friends once we stopped trying to one-up each other.)