Book Review: "How Do I Un-Remember This?" by Danny Pellegrino

How Do I Un-Remember This? is a book of reminiscences, stories, and reflections, both funny and poignant.⁣⁣

⁣⁣ True confession: when I received this book as part of a group of books that my friend Carrie sent me, I had no idea who Danny Pellegrino was. Then I saw another friend talk about how excited he was to read this, so I needed to do some research. It turns out he’s the host of a pop culture podcast called Everything Iconic—and it has become my new guilty pleasure.⁣⁣

⁣⁣ This book contains numerous reminiscences of Pellegrino’s through his life, from childhood to adulthood. It touches on funny family stories, dealing with his sexuality, conquering grief and guilt related to his grandmother’s passing, his relationship with his boyfriend/fiancé, mental health, and his favorite subject, pop culture, be it the movies, music, or celebrities.⁣⁣

⁣⁣ Some of the stories are laugh-out-loud funny, particularly those recounting a vacation his family took when he was young. Some of the stories definitely hit close to home as well, and some were very emotional.⁣⁣

⁣⁣ You wouldn’t think that a memoir-of-sorts written by someone I wasn’t familiar with would be interesting, but Pellegrino is a tremendously engaging writer, full of personality—and pop culture references. How Do I Un-Remember This? was right up my alley!⁣⁣ ⁣⁣

The Oscars Nominations: What Might Happen

Tomorrow morning, the Oscar nominations will be announced. Like everything else, this has been a strange year for movies, so the Oscar eligibility period was extended and the ceremony itself was delayed until late April. (It's usually all over by now.) And with everything eventually being available on streaming services, the number of movies eligible has increased as well.

I'm a huge Oscar fan, and every other year I would've seen nearly everything that's under consideration for awards. This year, however, I've seen only a few movies so far, although I intend to pick up the slack and see everything that gets nominated before the ceremonies occur.

One of my stupid pet tricks is my ability to name the nominees and winners for Best Picture, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, and Director from when the awards started in 1927 until present day. (Go ahead. Test me.) As I've done the last several years, I've tried to predict what I think the Academy will do with regard to nominations. Some years I'm right on target and some years I get surprised (both positively and negatively). These predictions aren't what I would like to happen necessarily, it's just how I predict the Academy will behave.

This is a weird year, however. I expect to be either very right in most categories or very, very wrong. (I'm not sure which I hope for more.) So here's what I think, and I'll be back tomorrow to share what actually transpired!

Best Picture
The Father
Judas and the Black Messiah
Ma Rainey's Black Bottom
Mank
Minari
Nomadland
Promising Young Woman
Sound of Metal
The Trial of the Chicago 7

Analysis: Once again this year, the Academy has been mum on how many films will get nominated for Best Picture. (Starting next year, they'll go to a solid 10 nominees.) I picked 9 movies, but who knows? It's possible the Academy could go the comedy route with Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, go with The Mauritanian or One Night in Miami, or drop one or a few of these.

Best Actor
Riz Ahmed, Sound of Metal
Chadwick Boseman, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom
Anthony Hopkins, The Father
Gary Oldman, Mank
Steven Yeun, Minari

Analysis: One thing is for absolute certain, and that is that Chadwick Boseman will win a posthumous Oscar for his utterly incredible performance in Ma Rainey's Black Bottom. Ahmed and Hopkins are definite locks for nominations (some say this award would have been Hopkins' had Boseman not lost his courageous battle with colon cancer); Oldman probably will get in, although enthusiasm for Mank seems to have cooled a bit, and for me, Yeun is the wild card. I think he'll get in, although I wouldn't be surprised if either he or Oldman is passed over for Tahar Rahim in The Mauritanian. Delroy Lindo, who gave a strong performance in Da 5 Bloods, was the early favorite, but he didn't get Golden Globe or SAG nominations, so I don't know if that bodes well for him.

Best Actress
Viola Davis, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom
Andra Day, The United States Vs. Billie Holliday
Frances McDormand, Nomadland
Carey Mulligan, Promising Young Woman
Rosamund Pike, I Care a Lot

Analysis: I hemmed and hawed a bit here, and decided to go with Pike, who won the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Musical/Comedy, over Vanessa Kirby for Pieces of a Woman. Pike has been nominated before, but dark comedies don't always resonate well with the Academy, while Kirby has never been nominated but gives an emotional performance. Of course, I could be surprised even more and the sentimental favorite, 86-year-old Sophia Loren, could sneak in for A Life Ahead, 50 years after she won an Oscar for Two Women. I wish there was a slot for Michelle Pfeiffer for French Exit, but that seems less and less a possibility.

Best Supporting Actor
Sacha Baron Cohen, The Trial of the Chicago 7
Chadwick Boseman, Da 5 Bloods
Daniel Kaluuya, Judas and the Black Messiah
Leslie Odom, Jr., One Night in Miami
Paul Raci, Sound of Metal

Analysis: So I'll address the elephant in the room first. I believe Boseman will be the first person to receive two posthumous acting nominations tomorrow, but I'll only be happy with one of them. I don't believe this performance would be recognized had he not died—it's really not much of a role, IMHO. I believe his slot should go to either Glynn Turman or Colman Domingo, Boseman's costars in Ma Rainey. Also, Kaluuya, who appears to be the frontrunner in this category, is the co-lead of the movie and doesn't belong here, but that's typical of the Oscars. In terms of other surprises, it's possible if Minari has an incredible showing that adorable Alan Kim could get a nod, or Jared Leto with his prosthetic overbite could sneak in for The Little Things.

Best Supporting Actress
Maria Bakalova, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Glenn Close, Hillbilly Elegy
Olivia Colman, The Father
Jodie Foster, The Mauritanian
Yuh-Jung Youn, Minari

Analysis: So this category is utterly unpredictable. I believe a spot belongs to Amanda Seyfried for Mank (she was great), but again, I think she'll be a victim of the movie's cooling hype. There is some momentum for Ellen Burstyn to get a nomination for a short performance in Pieces of a Woman, 20 years after her last nomination (which she should have won for, cough cough), but like Sophia Loren, she didn't receive Golden Globe or SAG nominations. Bakalova is actually the female lead, but anyone who had to act opposite Giuliani deserves something, no?

Best Director
Lee Isaac Chung, Minari
Emerald Fennell, Promising Young Woman
David Fincher, Mank
Aaron Sorkin, The Trial of the Chicago 7
Chloe Zhao, Nomadland

Analysis: If the Academy knows what's good for it, history better be made tomorrow, with the nomination of at least two women for Best Director. Regina King could sneak in as well for One Night in Miami, but whether she knocks out Sorkin or Fennell remains to be seen. Florian Zeller could sneak in, too, if the Academy likes The Father.

How right or wrong will I be? Tune in tomorrow!

Book Review: "Interior Chinatown" by Charles Yu

Charles Yu's National Book Award-winning Interior Chinatown is funny, sharply satirical, thought-provoking, and uniquely told.

Willis Wu doesn’t feel like his life makes much of an impact: he tends to think of himself as “Generic Asian Man.” As an actor, he has played roles as diverse as Disgraced Son, Delivery Guy, Silent Henchman, and Guy Who Runs In and Gets Kicked in the Face. But he dreams of reaching what he sees the pinnacle of success for Asian actors—becoming Kung Fu Guy.

He and his parents live a fairly unremarkable existence in small one-room apartments in Chinatown. Their building is above the Golden Palace restaurant, the hub of the community, where a police procedural called Black and White is in constant production. Willis and his parents and most of the community tend to drift in and out of the series, playing interchangeable parts and hoping their big break might someday come.

As Willis’ star appears to be rising, his consciousness about his role in the world grows. His family history is revealed and illustrates the challenges that Asians have faced since immigrating to America and other places in the world. Suddenly he begins to wonder if what he has dreamed of for so long—becoming Kung Fu Guy—is what he really wants. Is there more?

This is a fascinating, slightly trippy book at times. It’s really funny, as it skewers pop culture and the entertainment world’s treatment of Asians, but it’s also tremendously insightful and sensitive.

At times the book is written as a screenplay, at other times it's more narrative in structure. I’ll admit that there were parts I wasn’t sure were actually happening or if they were in Willis’ mind. But I couldn’t put Interior Chinatown down, and I can totally understand why it won the National Book Award.

Truly a book I’ll remember.

Book Review: "The Way We All Became The Brady Bunch" by Kimberly Potts

If simply reading the title of this book, The Way We All Became The Brady Bunch: How the Canceled Sitcom Became the Beloved Pop Culture Icon We Are Still Talking about Today, made you sing (or at least hum) the show's theme song, Kimberly Potts' book is definitely for you!!

This was a fun, informative look at a television series that was a huge part of my childhood and one I still talk about today. Amazingly, while I never watched the show when it originally aired (I wasn’t even born when it started in 1969), thanks to the magic of syndication, I watched every episode so many times through the years that I used to be able to identify the episode within the first 15-20 seconds. (I don't know how good I'd be now, but I could probably do it within a minute or two.)

But before you think I’m crazy (at least about this), understand that this show has been a cultural phenomenon in the US for 50 years or so. And that’s one of the things Potts looks at in this book—the many ways this show has weaved its way into popular culture, and the way so many people can still quote random episodes. (If you’re one of those people, I’m a kindred spirit.) She looks at the various spinoffs of the show through the years, the movies, the spoofs, even the porn movie!

The book also looks at the show’s history, the effort it took to get it on television in the first place, the casting process, and the critical drubbing it took from start to finish. (Amazingly, the show was never among the top 30 highest-rated shows any of the years it aired, but how many people remember all of those shows?)

While some of the information was familiar to me because I’ve read a lot about this show through the years, a lot was new, and really fascinating. I’ve got lots of new trivia to stump my fellow Brady fans with now!! All in all, this was a really good read.

I won a copy of The Way We All Became The Brady Bunch over a year ago in a giveaway on Bookstagram, so belated thanks to Grand Central Publishing for a free copy!!

Book Review: "K-Pop Confidential" by Stephan Lee

Stephan Lee's K-Pop Confidential is such fun!!

Confession time: I know nothing about K-Pop. I don’t know BTS from Y2K or BLACKPINK from blackjack, but I do love reading about the music scene and stories of people going after their dreams of stardom, so this book really appealed to me.

Candace Park is a dutiful daughter. She does what’s expected: studies hard, gets good grades, helps out at her parents’ convenience store, she even plays the viola (badly) in her school's orchestra because her mother says it will make her stand out and be more likely to get scholarships for college.

But what Candace wants is to sing. She thinks she’s good at it, her best friends think so too, but her mother doesn’t take her desire seriously, and thinks singing is something you do for fun; it's not a "real" ability. So one day, on a whim, thanks to the coaxing of her best friends, she goes to audition for the entertainment company responsible for all of the major K-Pop groups. They’re looking for singers for their first-ever girl group and girls from all over are hoping for their chance.

Much to her surprise, the company wants her. She will become a trainee, one of a large group from which the members will be picked. They want her to come to Seoul and train with all of the others for several months. After much convincing, her parents will let it happen as long as she’s ready to go back to school when the summer ends if she’s not picked.

She’s not prepared for how immensely hard it all is. She’s up against girls who have been preparing for this their entire lives. Her looks, her weight, her skills, her personality—it’s all under intense scrutiny. And no matter how hard she works, she might not even get picked, and even if she is picked, her group may never even debut if plans change. There's another American girl in the mix, so she wonders if she even has a chance.

As she gets closer and closer to achieving her dreams, she starts to wonder if stardom is worth risking her friendships, changing her life and her family’s, not to mention the way the company treats its stars as well as obsession of the fans, who want their stars to be perfect, untouchable, only available to them.

I enjoyed this so much. It’s fun and soapy and I could picture all of it in my mind’s eye, so it would make a fun movie.

Don’t be put off because you don’t follow K-Pop—it’s a totally enjoyable book nevertheless, and there's even a glossary at the end!

Book Review: "Here She Is: The Complicated Reign of the Beauty Pageant in America" by Hilary Levey Friedman

What do you think of when you hear the words "beauty pageant"? Do you think programs like Miss America, Miss USA, Miss Universe are relics of an earlier time and out of step with our current world, or do you think they're empowering and relevant to the women who participate? (Spoiler alert: While at times they may be a little of the former, there's still a lot of the latter to be found.)

In her new book, Here She Is: The Complicated Reign of the Beauty Pageant in America, Hilary Levey Friedman traces the origins of the beauty pageant, from the days of P.T. Barnum and his American Gallery of Female Beauty in the 1850s and early baby shows and bathing beauty revues, to the programs pageant fans know and love—Miss America, Miss USA, Miss Universe, and Distinguished Young Women (formerly America's Junior Miss). She looks at pageants that are racially or culturally based, as well as those focused on those with different abilities, different body types, even pageants for married women and senior citizens. It's a fascinating look at the mindset and the condition of the world when these pageants were created, and juxtaposing their initial purpose with where many stand today.

Friedman didn't just pick this topic at random. Her mother was Miss America 1970, she taught a course at Brown University called "Beauty Pageants in American Society," she served as a mentor to Miss America 2018, and she's judged some pageants here and there. This book is impeccably and thoroughly researched—she literally pored through national and state program books spanning a number of years for several different pageant systems, so she can understand the "typical" contestant in these pageants and see how far the reality strays from the public perception.

She spends a great deal of time looking at Miss America and the changes that program has made through the years, including those made in the wake of the #MeToo movement over the last several years, changes that have both been celebrated and criticized by long-time fans and former contestants. But she also looks at the genesis of the contestants and how they have changed, in terms of educational and career goals as well as demographics. This isn't a view through rose-colored glasses; she looks at the positives and negatives of the pageant and its effects on contestants.

There's also been no shortage of scandal in the pageant world, and she touches on those as well, from Donald Trump's former ownership of the Miss Universe Organization and the criticism of child and "glitz" pageants, to the recent controversies around Miss America. All the while, she examines the evolving nature of pageants and their relationship with Third Wave Feminism, and what they may need to do to remain relevant.

I've been a fan of the Miss America Pageant since I first watched in 1982 and as many of you know, I was a volunteer in the Miss America Organization for just short of 15 years. I'm also a fan of Miss USA, Miss Universe, and Miss Teen USA, and certainly understand the differences and similarities between the two systems. Because of that, I loved this book. While I knew some of the history and scandal, there were things that surprised me and things I learned for the first time. But more than that, I've never really stopped to think of the pageants and their relationship to feminism (I'm such a guy sometimes), so that was an eye-opening experience.

Pageant fans should love this, but I think those who might have seen a pageant once or twice or just like to read about different aspects of American culture will enjoy this as well. As Miss America celebrates its 100th anniversary next year, Here She Is is a great look at that American tradition.

The author provided me a complimentary advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!

Here She Is publishes August 25.

Book Review: "Twenty-one Truths about Love" by Matthew Dicks

Things I enjoyed about this book:

1. The fact the book was written entirely in lists was really creative.
2. Amidst everything that went on in the book, it’s really a story about love, fear, and family.
3. Many of Dan’s thoughts are surprisingly on par with mine.

Things I didn’t enjoy about this book:

1. The list format started to wear me down.
2. There was one particular plotline that I found really irksome.
3. Darned book made me cry...

Dan left his teaching job to run a bookstore. It wasn’t as easy or profitable as he thought it would be. (Of course, he thought teaching would be easy, too, but...) He's afraid to reveal the extent of his financial struggles to his wife, Jill.

Much of Dan’s life is characterized by running away from his problems. He’s the master of not saying what needs to be said. He has feelings about his father, who is suddenly trying to reconnect with him after years of estrangement. He has feelings about the specter of Jill's first husband, who died, hanging over their heads.

When Jill gets pregnant he knows he must do something to get money or he’ll lose her—but his idea is a desperate one. He struggles with the reality of the situation and every possible solution, but he keeps coming back to the least-certain and riskiest one. And he knows the ramifications of his actions may be worse than his current situation.

Twenty-one Truths about Love is a poignant, sometimes scattered, sometimes disturbing look into the mind of a man who is struggling in so many ways. While some of the lists in the book illustrate where Dan's heart and mind are, some are a little quirky and bizarre. And some are downright funny.

Matthew Dicks is a great writer (his Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend still haunts me). I loved the concept and the heart of this story. It’s just, the list thing dragged the story down a bit, to the point where I skimmed through the lists when the subject seemed extraneous. (Some of the lists ran way too long, too.)

Despite my ultimate weariness with the lasting power of this concept, this was a really creative twist in storytelling and I’ll think of this book for a long while.

NetGalley and St. Martins Press gave me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making this available!

The book will publish on November 19.

Book Review: "My Life as a Goddess: A Memoir through (Un)Popular Culture" by Guy Branum

"We talk about nature and nurture when analyzing a person's character. We see two ways that an identity is formed. One is biological, the mean of parents' traits passed down genetically. The other is environmental: How did the world around this person guide and encourage him? The problem is that by either of these methods, I shouldn't be me. I should be shorter and dumber and not at all concerned with what pairs well with star anise syrup in a cocktail." (BTW, it's notes of orange.)

At a young age, Guy Branum already knew he was different. Growing up in Yuba City, a farming town in Northern California, he was much larger (both taller and fatter) than his peers. Big boys were supposed to be fighters, but Guy didn't have it in him to fight. What he wanted to do was sit inside, read, and learn, find answers to the endless number of questions he had, about nearly everything in the world. But that met with disapproval from his parents, especially his father, who wanted his son to act "normal."

As Guy grew older, as he grew bigger and fatter, he indulged his father's wish and played high school football for four years. But he never had any passion for it. And as he realized he was gay, he knew that was another reason society would look down on him. What he wanted more than anything was to get out of Yuba City, go someplace more exciting, and be free of the expectations of those around him. And while he felt bad about himself, and tried to hide himself and who he really was in plain sight for so long, at some point he realized that he was worthy of love and success and praise, no matter what others might say or think.

"I'm not supposed to like myself, and I'm certainly not supposed to think that I should matter. The world has spent a lot of time telling me that, and in the past thirty or so years, I often listened, because we all listen. The world is mostly full of fine facts and good lessons, but some of those facts and lessons were built to keep you down. And I got kept down for decades. Then I remembered that I was a goddess. I may not always feel like it, but I have powers."

In My Life as a Goddess, a memoir/collection of essays, Branum shares his long journey to self-discovery, from his difficult relationship with his father to the love of movies he shared with his mother; his discovery of his sense of humor and his writing ability while attending Berkeley—which led to an interesting run-in with the Secret Service; what he believes to be society's struggles with both fat and gay people; finally feeling free enough to go to gay clubs; and the rise of his career as a stand-up comedian, comedy writer, and occasional actor.

Parts of this book were literally laugh-out-loud funny. (I got more than my share of odd looks when I read this book in public, and the one time I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe I realized I needed just to read it at home.) Branum's love of pop culture, television sitcoms, movies, and music felt so familiar to me. More than a few times I thought he and I could be great friends, or we'd try to out-funny each other, and he'd probably win, so I'd feel bitter.

But this is more than a comic memoir. My Life as a Goddess has real emotional heft to it as well, and I found myself nodding and even tearing up at times as I recognized situations which occurred in my own life. Branum is tremendously insightful but he doesn't feel sorry for himself; he recounts his life in a very matter-of-fact way. You may think that the difficulty of his journey helped turn him into the immensely funny man he has become, and certainly you see that with a lot of LGBT people, whose creativity was burnished amidst poor treatment.

Branum's childhood and his growth into adulthood was a difficult journey, but thankfully he has risen above it, and more thankfully for us, he is willing to share himself with us. At times he rambles a bit on unrelated topics (and he even recognizes it as he is doing it), but then his heart and his sense of humor shine through, and you realize this book, and this man, are truly special.

Book Review: "Roll the Dice" by Wayne Avrashow

It's hard to live in the Washington, DC area for as long as I have without becoming at least a little bit of a political junkie. And while our current political climate has me interchangeably ranting, raving, and lamenting, I'm still fascinated by (most) political figures, how parties pick their candidates, and the march toward the election. (Especially the good old days, when we didn't have to think about Russian collusion, cough, cough.)

That's why I jumped at the chance to read Wayne Avrashow's first novel, Roll the Dice. Avrashow, an attorney, is a former campaign manager in Los Angeles politics and was a government commissioner, so he knows of what he speaks. (Although I don't really want to know how much of the inspiration for this book came from real-life events, lol!)

Tyler Sloan is one of the country's biggest rock stars. He's won Grammys, filled stadiums, even been nominated for an Oscar. He has fans all over the world, and he's had more than his share of beautiful women over the years. Politics is in his blood—his father, a former governor, narrowly lost the Democratic nomination for president. But it's still a surprise to nearly everyone when he decides to run as an independent candidate for an open U.S. Senate seat in his home state of Nevada.

Can a celebrity with no political experience be taken seriously as a political candidate? Should they? (No comment.) Sloan's Democratic and Republican challengers quickly dismiss him as a neophyte, a lightweight. They hint about scandals in Sloan's past—sex, drugs, even blasphemy—each of which calls his character into question. But Sloan didn't just wake up suddenly and decide to get into politics. He's given a great deal of thought to his positions (and in fact wants to share his views on every issue far more than his campaign staff wants him to), and he has answers to every accusation that his opponents can throw at him.

Sloan quickly realizes, however, that his celebrity has its limits. Every single event from his past, everything he said and did, even the lyrics of his songs are analyzed ad infinitum by political commentators, reporters looking for a fresh story, and his opponents. He wants to campaign on the issues, but he quickly learns the way the political system works. He doesn't want to stoop to pettiness, but it seems as if every time he turns around he has to justify something from his past, or try to prove to a skeptic that he's more than just a celebrity seeking an ego boost.

His campaign is an uphill battle, and he doesn't have much time. He'll need to deal with scandals among his staff and questions about difficult times in his past, and he'll need to weather his often-strained relationship with his father, whose support he'll need. Will he be able to prove his worth as a potential senator, or will he become a gimmick, a cocktail party trick? Will he be able to handle what comes his way, or will he ultimately fold under the pressure? And is there a secret in his past that will keep him from a possible victory?

Although it may be a little predictable at times, Roll the Dice is a tremendously compelling read. While its examination of the politics of celebrity may perhaps hit a little too close to home given our current environment, Sloan definitely seems to be a candidate who has more to offer than charm, fame, and sex appeal. I definitely couldn't stop reading this, because I wanted to see what obstacles Avrashow would throw in Sloan's way, and just how he would tie everything up.

I feel like this book would make an interesting movie or television mini-series—it just has the right amount of intrigue and drama, as well as emotion and personal interaction, plus the fascinating madness of politics. Avrashow definitely knows his way around a campaign and it shows, and truth be told, this would have been a pretty intriguing election to watch!!

NetGalley and Fiery Seas provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making this available!

Book Review: "Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies" by Michael Ausiello

It has been said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing multiple times but expecting a different result. Did I really believe I could read Michael Ausiello's lovely, bittersweet memoir Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies, a book of which its editor said, "You'll cackle; you'll sob," and not be a sobbing mess when it was done? I mean, I cry watching the car commercial where the little boy gets a dog, and then when he's grown up and goes to college, the dog is old. Color me insane, I guess.

Spoiler alert: while I wasn't out-and-out sobbing at the end of the book, I was pretty emotional.

Michael Ausiello is one of my favorite go-to sources for television-related gossip and information. I've been following him since he wrote for Entertainment Weekly and TVGuide.com, and am an avid fan of the site he founded, TVLine.com. In 2001, when he met Christopher "Kit" Cowan at a benefit, he was smitten instantaneously, both because of Kit's good looks and the easy banter they quickly fell into.

Their relationship took off, but like all relationships, dealt with some rough spots along the way. Some challenges were common—dealing with infidelity, financial independence, Kit's marijuana habit, Michael's emotional insecurities—and some were a little less so: Michael's, umm, obsession with all things Smurf, and Kit's prodigious collection of sex toys. But even through the rough patches, both realized how much happier they were together, and how much they truly were two halves of a whole, along with their long-suffering cat, Mister Scooch.

In 2014, in the middle of their 13th year together, Kit was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive form of neuroendocrine cancer. For Michael, Kit's illness not only brought him face-to-face with the threat of losing the love of his life, but it reminded him of losing both of his parents to cancer when he was younger. But Michael took on the role of Kit's caregiver as fully as he did every interview with a celebrity, every column he wrote, every guest appearance he got to make on a television series.

Although the two had eschewed marriage in the past (while supporting the right of everyone to marry the person they love), they got married just before Kit's first chemo appointment. This allowed Michael to be fully engaged in every aspect of Kit's treatment and care. And while Kit faced his bleak prognosis with the same good humor he approached every day, he never seemed to get the upper hand on his cancer, and after a tough battle, he passed away in February 2015.

While Spoiler Alert is a chronicle of Kit's fight with cancer, and how he and Michael faced down the disease and the setbacks together, this book is more than just a sad account of a life nearing its end. This is also a story of a relationship, a love affair, from start to finish, with the funny and sweet moments, the challenges and the anxieties, and all of the emotion and beauty of two people who truly gave each other their whole heart, their humor, and their love.

This certainly was a book that hit me hard emotionally, and made me want to hold my own husband and my own loved ones a little bit closer as soon as I finished reading it. (Plus I couldn't see while reading the last chapter I was crying so hard.) But it was also a book that made me laugh, made me recognize myself and my own relationship in certain anecdotes Michael shared, and made me thankful that he was willing to share his relationship with Kit with us, although I'm sorry this is why he did.

NetGalley and Atria Books provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making this available!

2016 Oscar Nominations: What happened

This morning, in a rather convoluted and lackluster online announcement, the nominations for the 89th Academy Awards were announced. Yesterday, I posted my predictions of what I thought would get nominated in the major categories; now it's time to see how I did compared to the real nominations.

As usual, the Oscar nominations continue to befuddle and aggravate me, although there were a few pleasant surprises.

Best Picture
Arrival
Fences
Hacksaw Ridge
Hell or High Water
Hidden Figures
La La Land
Lion
Manchester by the Sea
Moonlight

Analysis: I wasn't sure how many movies would be nominated for Best Picture this year since it's never a consistent number. I picked all nine of these and then added a tenth, so I'd say I got 9/9. Of course, I was hoping the Academy would throw in a nomination for Deadpool to add some cool factor, but then I remembered: it's the Oscars.


Best Actor
Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea
Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge
Ryan Gosling, La La Land
Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic
Denzel Washington, Fences

Analysis: I went 5/5 here. No surprises whatsoever, although I wondered whether Joel Edgerton could slide in for his performance in Loving, but the Oscar nominees in this category are identical to those nominated for the SAG award.


Best Actress
Isabelle Huppert, Elle
Ruth Negga, Loving
Natalie Portman, Jackie
Emma Stone, La La Land
Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

Analysis: I went 4/5 here, but this is category #1 of aggravation. I don't know what the hell Annette Bening needs to do to win an Oscar, but it appears she and Glenn Close are destined to remain also-rans while younger actresses win one or two awards (not always because they deserve it). And wherefore art thou, Amy Adams? I get that Huppert has never been nominated before, and Negga gave a fantastic performance as one half of the couple whose love broke down the barriers to interracial marriage, but come on already. Look, I love Meryl Streep, but sometimes she doesn't deserve to be nominated. She was perfectly pleasant in Florence Foster Jenkins, but this was a nomination for Meryl Streep, icon, not Meryl Streep, actress. Oh, and the other person missing in this category? Viola Davis. Supporting actress, she is not. Ugh.


Best Supporting Actor
Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water
Lucas Hedges, Manchester by the Sea
Dev Patel, Lion
Michael Shannon, Nocturnal Animals

Analysis: I went 4/5 here, but not where I expected. I honestly am surprised that Hugh Grant didn't finally land his first nomination (after being passed over for Four Weddings and a Funeral 22 years ago) for Florence Foster Jenkins, although I'm pleased to see Hedges included among the nominees. And I told you about Michael Shannon...I just should have taken my own advice in the next category.


Best Supporting Actress
Viola Davis, Fences
Naomie Harris, Moonlight
Nicole Kidman, Lion
Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures
Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

Analysis: I went 4/5 here, although I should have known better. I said yesterday that the only thing that would make me as happy as Annette Bening landing a nomination was if Janelle Monáe was nominated for Hidden Figures, not to mention her superlative work in Moonlight. Clearly the Academy didn't care about making me happy. I thought Octavia Spencer would get in over Monáe because, like Michael Shannon, the Academy went with the established former winner (or nominee, in Shannon's part) instead of the younger actor. And of course, then there's Viola Davis. (Lead, cough cough, not supporting.)


Best Director
Damien Chazelle, La La Land
Mel Gibson, Hacksaw Ridge
Barry Jenkins, Moonlight
Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea
Denis Villenueve, Arrival

Analysis: I went 3/5 here, but I'm not surprised by what happened. I thought the Academy might not yet be ready to welcome Gibson back with open arms, and I thought Villenueve wasn't well-known enough. I thought Garth Davis might get nominated for his film debut in Lion and thought the directors' branch might opt for perennial favorite Martin Scorsese instead, but his movie Silence languished at the Oscars. I'm not overly disappointed or surprised, though.


With a record-tying 14 nominations, certainly La La Land seems like the film to beat, and despite nearly everyone else I know, I loved it. But it will be interesting to see what the next month brings before a few lucky people can use the words "Oscar winner" before their names...

2016 Oscar Nominations: What I think

It's one of my most favorite times of the year: the Oscar nominations will be announced tomorrow morning. I've been reasonably (ha) obsessed with the Oscars since the 1980s, and so we make an effort to see every movie and performance nominated for the major awards before the Oscar telecast. (If what happens tomorrow is what I think, we won't have much more to see, thanks to a very movie-heavy holiday season.)

For a while now, I've been making my predictions for which movies and performances I think will get nominated, then after the nominations are announced I come back and analyze how well I did. (Note: this isn't necessary who I think deserves to get nominated; often there's a pretty gap between what I want and what actually happens, because the Oscars are as much about paying back old slights, trying to take advantage of popularity, and other crazy politics as they are about who gave the best performances. But I digress.)

So, here's what I think will happen tomorrow around 8:35 a.m. ET. I know there's bound to be a surprise and/or disappointment (for me) or two, so...

Best Picture
Arrival
Fences
Hacksaw Ridge
Hell or High Water
Hidden Figures
La La Land
Lion
Manchester by the Sea
Moonlight
Silence

Analysis: Over the last few years the Academy has played coy with the number of films which will get nominated for Best Picture. Some years it's eight, some years it's nine, sometimes it's ten. I went with 10 this year although I have a feeling it will be either Fences or Silence, not both. And then, if the Academy feels adventurous, they could nominate Deadpool, which would be awesome.


Best Actor
Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea
Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge
Ryan Gosling, La La Land
Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic
Denzel Washington, Fences

Analysis: I feel fairly secure about these five, but Joel Edgerton could sneak in for Loving. If he does, I think he'd displace Mortensen, whose movie was the least seen in theaters.


Best Actress
Amy Adams, Arrival
Isabelle Huppert, Elle
Natalie Portman, Jackie
Emma Stone, La La Land
Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

Analysis: It breaks my heart not to add Annette Bening to this list for her fantastic performance in 20th Century Women. She should have won an Oscar already, and she absolutely should be nominated this year, but I worry that her multi-layered yet ultimately more comedic performance will get overlooked. Huppert has never been nominated, so I think that plus the Golden Globe win give her momentum. But then again, Ruth Negga (for Loving), Emily Blunt (Girl on the Train), or Jessica Chastain (for Miss Sloane) could surprise, and there's a v-e-r-y o-u-t-s-i-d-e chance that Meryl Streep's Golden Globes speech could actually hurt her chances for a nod. But I doubt it.


Best Supporting Actor
Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water
Hugh Grant, Florence Foster Jenkins
Dev Patel, Lion
Michael Shannon, Nocturnal Animals

Analysis: I'm going out on a little bit of a limb here. I believe Ali, Bridges, Grant, and Patel are locks. That fifth spot is in flux. Aaron Taylor-Johnson won the Golden Globe for Nocturnal Animals but I think the Academy may pick previous nominee Shannon (who has a slightly showier and more sympathetic role) over his co-star. The other possibility is Lucas Hedges, who was really good in Manchester by the Sea. And of course, there's probably someone I'm not thinking of...


Best Supporting Actress
Viola Davis, Fences
Naomie Harris, Moonlight
Nicole Kidman, Lion
Janelle Monáe, Hidden Figures
Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

Analysis: Other than Annette Bening getting a nomination tomorrow morning, the one thing which will excite me more than anything is if Janelle Monáe gets nominated. She had a great year and proved she has a real future in acting, not to mention she's an amazing musician and drop-dead gorgeous, to boot. I have a feeling the Academy will hedge its bets and go with 2011 winner Octavia Spencer for the same movie, despite the fact that Monáe's role is a little showier. Oh, and don't get me started on Davis, who should be a Best Actress nominee, since she's in 95 percent of Fences (and won a Best Leading Actress Tony Award for the same performance). But this is the Oscars...and the same thing happened with last year's winner, Alicia Vikander.


Best Director
Damien Chazelle, La La Land
Garth Davis, Lion
Barry Jenkins, Moonlight
Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea
Martin Scorsese, Silence

Analysis: Another crapshoot. The Directors Guild of America nominated Chazelle, Davis, Jenkins, Lonergan, and Denis Villenueve for Arrival. The Golden Globes nominated Chazelle, Jenkins, Lonergan, Mel Gibson for Hacksaw Ridge and Tom Ford for Nocturnal Animals. I have a feeling Gibson may get in, but I never count out Scorsese, since the last time he really had a pet project (1988's The Last Temptation of Christ), he got nominated although the film did not.


And there you have it! Check back tomorrow to see which noms excited me, which enraged me, and which shocked me.

Book Review: "Searching for John Hughes: Or Everything I Thought I Needed to Know about Life I Learned from Watching '80s Movies" by Jason Diamond

As I've remarked on countless occasions, I'm kind of obsessed with all things 1980s. That was the decade of middle school, high school, and part of college, so it represents some pretty significant times in my life, and the movies, television shows, music, celebrities, and other pop culture phenomena of that decade served as touch points, a soundtrack and backdrop along the way.

I'm also a huge movie buff, so I remember spending an immense amount of time at the movies in the 80s, or watching videos over and over again. John Hughes' movies—in particular, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Some Kind of Wonderful and Ferris Bueller's Day Off—still are among my favorites, and I can still recite lines from each of them at any time. (Scarily enough, I can even tell you who I was with when I saw these movies for the first time, and where we saw them. Egads.)

Needless to say, when I first heard about Jason Diamond's book, I couldn't wait to read it. Another Hughes fan, who actually was passionate enough about his movies to write a book about them?

"Hughes accomplished the almost impossible task of making me feel inspired. They made me feel as if I could get out and be better. I related to the teens in his movies, their happiness, their sadness, the anger, angst, and longing."

Searching for John Hughes is Diamond's account of his (immensely) troubled childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, his (incredibly) troubled relationships with his parents, his inability to do much in school except take drugs and zone out, and his struggle to make something of himself and be happy with himself as he grew older. Hughes' movies provided comfort, inspiration, a feeling of kinship, and it was finally the man behind the movies who became the focus of Diamond's obsession, his quest to write Hughes' biography.

I guess I never dug more into the description of this book than the title, because I really expected it to be a discussion of Hughes' movies and their significance to pop culture at the time they were released, and why so many of them continue to endure today, for kids who weren't alive in the 1980s and (shudder) 1990s. Instead, this was more of a memoir of a guy trying desperately to make it in spite of really difficult circumstances, of trying to find a purpose, and find confidence in his future.

Diamond is a really good writer, but his story is really, really harrowing, so much so it became difficult to read after a while. The fact that he found the strength to keep moving forward despite so much adversity, and finally has a career as a writer after spending years writing whatever came to mind is tremendously inspiring. I would love to read more of his writing, but this book just didn't click for me, especially because I was expecting something totally different.

Book Review: "Party of One: A Memoir in 21 Songs" by Dave Holmes

Full disclosure: I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review. Many thanks to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for making it available!

Dave Holmes' Party of One worked for me on so many levels, but mainly because, except for the fact that he was a former VJ on MTV and actually famous, we pretty much lived parallel lives. Pop culture-obsessed? Check. Growing up knowing he was gay but knowing the world wasn't too keen on people who were different in that way, so he did everything he could to (not quite successfully) hide it? Check again. Music playing a huge factor in his life? Yup. Turning to humor and sarcasm in an effort to get people to like him and help him fit in at a time when he really didn't feel he fit in at all? Umm, hello, have you met me?

"I did a lot of embarrassing things and put myself through a lot of useless trouble on the road to accepting myself, and it would have been a much more painful experience had I not had access to the most powerful stimulant known to humankind: the music and popular culture of the last forty years."

Holmes talks about growing up in a Catholic family in St. Louis, where he succeeded in being the funny one so no one noticed how non-athletic he was, and what it was like going to an all-boys Catholic school, surrounded by boys that he was absolutely infatuated with, but he and his other gay friends (although none of them acknowledged this fact) had to pretend this wasn't the case. He also shares memories of going to a Catholic college while toying with the idea of coming out of the closet and starting to accept his sexuality. (Needless to say, that wasn't easy either.)

While there were so many moments in this book that I utterly identified with him and how he felt at various times in his life (hell, we even had obsessions with many of the same male celebrities in the 1980s and 1990s), it was so enjoyable getting his take on what it was like to be a part of MTV in its late-90s heyday, finally getting the chance to do what he loved and be with people who shared the same interests. He name dropped a little without being pretentious, and shared some of the eye-rolling moments of his pseudo-celebrity status as well as some of the ultra-cool ones. And he also touched on what it is like to be a pop culture aficionado who suddenly feels like that world is passing him by, because he's not as up on the new musical acts as he once was.

This is a funny and at times emotional book, probably more so because I know what it feels like to finally come to terms with who you are and finally not give a damn what people think. But Holmes doesn't hit you over the head with inspirational lessons—he doesn't pretend to know more than anyone else about self-discovery or self-acceptance; this is just his story.

I don't know that this is a book for everyone, but if you grew up in the 1980s and 1990s, and remember what it was like when MTV played music videos; if you remember shows like Punky Brewster and the ABC Saturday night lineup of The Love Boat and Fantasy Island; or if you know what it's like to struggle with knowing you're different, then Party of One will be right up your alley. I think Dave and I would be either really close friends if he lived in this area, or we'd constantly try to one up each other. Either way, sounds like fun.

I loved this.

Book Review: "Armada" by Ernest Cline

"Ever since the first day of kindergarten, I had been hoping and waiting for some mind-blowingly fantastic, world-altering event to finally shatter the endless monotony of my public education. I had spent hundreds of hours gazing out at the calm, conquered suburban landscape surrounding my school, silently yearning for the outbreak of a zombie apocalypse, a freak accident that would give me super powers, or perhaps the sudden appearance of a band of time-traveling kleptomaniac dwarves."

Even though Zack Lightman wants his life to be more exciting, he definitely isn't ready for what's about to happen. Daydreaming one day in his high school class, he looks out to see what he thinks is an alien spaceship from Armada, his favorite video game. But given that he spends hours and hours playing the game with his friends, conducting "missions" on behalf of the so-called Earth Defense Alliance, and has risen to become one of the top 10 players of the game in the world, he starts to wonder if he's hallucinating, and maybe he should step back from the game a little bit.

And then the unthinkable happens. A space vehicle arrives at his high school and whisks Zack away to a top-secret location, where he learns that the planet really is in trouble, and is about to be attacked by the aliens he has always believed were fictional. But it's going to take more than soldiers to defend the planet—it's going to take the talents of skilled gamers like Zack from all over the world to save the fate of humanity. Is life imitating fiction, or has fiction been imitating life all this time?

Ernest Cline's first book, Ready Player One was pretty fantastic, and it was one of the best books I read in 2011, so I've been eagerly anticipating Cline's follow-up. Much like that book, Armada is chock full of references to 80s and 90s science fiction movies, video games, and pop culture. (It pains me to admit I had to Google some of those references. Don't judge.)

I thought this was a fun read, with a lot of heart and some surprising bursts of emotion. It really did feel at times like watching a big adventure movie like Independence Day—I felt exhilarated at times, at times I wondered what would happen, and I even felt myself tearing up a time or two. The plot took a while to really get traction, however, and there are places where there was a little too much detail that went over my head. But in the end, I love the way Cline writes, and I enjoyed this book, and look forward to seeing what's next for him...if there's another adventure to be a part of, count me in.

Book Review: "Being Miss America: Behind the Rhinestone Curtain" by Kate Shindle

When Kate Shindle was crowned Miss America 1998 in September 1997, she became one of the most polarizing Miss Americas in some time. Some thought she was the clear winner the moment she stepped onstage; some said she only won because the pageant was fixed. Some loved her talent; some hated it. Some thought her swimsuit was fun and unique; others HATED it. But most of her detractors couldn't deny the intelligence and passion with which she spoke about her platform issue or cause, awareness and prevention of HIV and AIDS.

"I have been called courageous, a trailblazer, the first socially relevant Miss America ever, fat, thin, beautiful, handsome, ugly, talented, untalented, inspiring, infuriating, deserving, undeserving."

I've always been a fan of Shindle's, as I feel she is never afraid to tell it like it is. In Being Miss America she speaks candidly both about what it's like to be Miss America—the good and the bad—and the triumphs and challenges the Miss America Organization has dealt with historically, and those it is facing currently.

"Most of the young women who strive to become Miss America see it as the public sees it: as a dream, a wish fulfillment that guarantees one will be respected, praised, and lifted up as an example of all that is right about young American women. Little do they know what they're actually getting into if they win. Decades of stereotypes, expectations, scandal, myths, media scrutiny, public skepticism, and questionable leadership choices have made actually being Miss America nearly impossible."

Those of you that know me are probably aware that I've been a volunteer with the Miss America Organization for more than 10 years. I've been tremendously fortunate to watch some dynamic young women compete in this system, and watch the amazing things they've done with their lives and for their communities, partially as a result of the skills they've burnished through competition, and partially thanks to the scholarships they receive. I've also had the tremendous opportunity to meet a number of immensely dedicated volunteers, who are the lifeblood of this organization. Their love for the system, despite its flaws, and the incredible amount of work and sweat and tears and money they put in (most of the time for no personal gain) is both inspiring and humbling.

That's why as much as I enjoyed this book, it saddened me to get a more in-depth understanding of the problems the organization has, and get Shindle's perspectives on both the causes and the potential solutions. Being a volunteer, even in my own small way, I'm aware of some of these issues, and I also understand them as a person who has worked in the nonprofit association management field for nearly my entire career. Sure, some would say these are only Shindle's perspectives, and she has an axe to grind, and maybe not everything she says is entirely accurate, but I hope this book serves as somewhat of a wake-up call to those with the power to make change happen. Think what you must about the Miss America system, it has made a tremendous difference in millions of women's lives, and still can.

Shindle writes as I'd imagine she speaks, and I found this book really compelling. I read it in just a little more than a day. My only criticism is that the book could have used some more judicious fact-checking: in a few instances, former Miss Americas are referenced by incorrect years, and one recent Miss America's last name is spelled quite wrong throughout the book. But that's the savant in me—many people might not even notice that.

If you have an interest in the Miss America Organization or what it's like to be Miss America, you'll find this book tremendously interesting. If you love the system and/or have given any time to being a part of it, you may feel as I do. But if all you've ever thought about Miss America is she's nothing more than a crown-wearing bimbo who doesn't do anything, I'd encourage you to read this. You may not change your mind, but you should.

Book Review: "The Todd Glass Situation" by Todd Glass with Jonathan Grotenstein

Full disclosure: I received an advance readers copy of this book from NetGalleys in exchange for an unbiased review.

I've been a huge fan of Todd Glass for years, ever since I saw him appear on Star Search in the 1980s. I watched his appearances on televised stand-up comedy shows, attended a few of his shows at the DC Improv over the years, and rooted for him on one of the early seasons of Last Comic Standing. If I were funnier, I'd want to be just like him.

After reading his memoir, The Todd Glass Situation: A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Stand-Up Comedy, not only do I still find him hysterically sarcastic, but I'm touched by his heart as well. This is an account of his growing up in Pennsylvania, struggling with school and trying to find a way still to fit in, which he did by making people laugh. It's the story of how his comedy career started—the ups and downs, the advice he was given from fellow comedians, the lessons he's learned along the way, and how comedy has changed through the years. As a huge fan of stand-up comedy (particularly in the 1980s and 1990s), I found this really fascinating.

But this book is also about Glass' coming to terms with being gay, something he only acknowledged recently. Although Glass had always inherently known he was gay, he was truly affected by the attitudes of those around him toward gay people—those who called people "fag" or weird things "gay." He also didn't want audiences or his friends to treat him differently. The book recounts his trying to reconcile his "situation" with being the regular funny guy, trying to find a relationship while simultaneously hiding his true self from those around him, and how doing so for so long really shaped his life. (Glass finally chose to speak out after a rise in suicides of young gay people.)

This book is uproariously funny (I could almost hear Glass narrating it as I read it) and truly heartfelt. I definitely identified with his struggles since we're only a few years apart, and so much of what he had to say in the book I have either said to people or felt myself. I had to be careful not to laugh out loud (I was on a plane while reading this) and I also tried to keep my emotions in check. This is a terrific look at the world of a stand-up comedian and the simultaneous struggle for self-acceptance.

I'm glad Todd Glass was finally willing to share his story. Hopefully what he has to say will not only amuse others, it will perhaps make them think differently as well. That's the way the world changes.

AI Results Recap: Someday You'll Find It, The Emotional Connection...

The best way to watch one of these results shows is when it has been recorded, so you can fast forward through all of the unnecessary banter and artificial tension. I mean, I know at some point I'll be frustrated, so why postpone the inevitable.

The show started with a surprisingly decent group medley of Counting Stars by OneRepublic and Radioactive by Imagine Dragons. Even with Ben's ridiculously annoying tomfoolery (because I'm like, you know, 100 years old) and Kristen showing more energy in the two solo lines she sang than any of her performances the last two weeks, their voices blended very well.

Apparently there were 71 million votes cast. Of course, I can only wonder how many of those votes actually happened after particular contestants performed. Because given some of the people who were safe, I can only figure they survived because of rabid fan bases.

The first group to hear the results were Malaya, Jena, Ben, and Alex. Again, I'll reiterate how much I hate that they constantly make these contestants walk thru the audience so they can high-five folks as they're going to hear results. To the surprise of no one, Malaya was sent to the stools of doom. Oh, wait, apparently Jennifer was surprised. She said she was upset Malaya was in the bottom three because although her performance "didn't show who she was" (among other things), "she belongs here."

Last year's champ, Candice Glover, came back to perform a medley of two of her songs, Cried and Some Kind of Man. She sounded great but she doesn't have a tremendous amount of stage presence. It's a shame given how talented she is that her album had the lowest sales of any Idol winner to date (even Taylor Hicks and Lee DeWyze).

Next up for the results, MK, Sam, Majesty and Dexter. In my opinion, Dexter should have been the one in the bottom three, but of course not! He's likeable and he's from the South! Instead, MK was sent to the stools of doom. And if that didn't make me irate enough, when Keith was asked what MK would need to do if she came back next week, and he said, "It needs to be about the emotional connection. It's not about vocal skills." And there you have it.

This season each of the judges and Randy will play "tastemaker" and highlight an up and coming artist. Keith introduced Jake Bugg, a 17-year-old English country singer who sounds a lot like Josiah Leming did when he was on the show (although Bugg's accent is authentic). The "rawr" quality of his voice didn't translate for me, Keith.

Of the last group of contestants—C.J., Kristen, Caleb, Jessica and Emily—it seemed fairly obvious who was headed for the stools. And I was correct, the beautiful disaster herself, Kristen was told she was in the bottom three.

So unless anything changes, it looks like the ladies may be doomed again this season. (It's sad that the only way this show can guarantee a female winner is to stack the deck.) This year the judges' save will expire at the top 6. Will they use it?

MK was sent to safety first. When Ryan asked Kristen what she'd do if she was back next week, she said show an iota of energy"try and be more myself." Malaya was asked if she'd bring back the piano, where she had success in Hollywood, and she said she might, but she also said, "I'll try and calm down." (Don't go breaking my heart, Malaya.)

Kristen was given the bad news that she'd have to sing for her life. She chose to reprise her rendition of Turning Tables from "Rush Week," and it was just a wee bit wobbly. Harry explained that the key to using the save was that it had to be a unanimous decision among the judges to use it, and the judges couldn't agree, so Kristen is the first person voted off the islandwell, you know.

After the montage of her experience (accompanied by Kristen's own rendition of Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway), her picture in a row of pictures of each of the top 13 was darkened, Hunger Games-style. I'm surprised they didn't shoot off a cannon.

And there you have it. Next week, the theme is "Home." Whatever that means. I'm guessing Caleb may sing Home Sweet Home and perhaps Dexter or C.J. can sing Sweet Home Alabama?

AI Top 13 Recap: Who's Got the Yang?

Yeah, I decided to give this season a try. We'll see how long it lasts.

I didn't watch any of the audition or Hollywood episodes, just watched last week, when the top 31 was culled to a top 13. One thing I've noticed is there's far too much touching going on, so I'd imagine Howie Mandel won't be able to watch. The contestants ran into the audience touching their hands, even the judges did the same thing. Sorry, it just creeps me out. I long for the days when the judges sat at their inaccessible table, and the contestants performed up on stage without any of the frolicking in the middle of the audience. Maybe I'm just a germaphobe...

One other thing before I start the actual recap of "This is Me" week. So now you can vote starting at the beginning of the show? What's the point of the show, then? Are the new producers finally acknowledging that the bulk of voters don't actually care about the contestants' performances (kind of like the judges sometimes), but just vote for who they like because they're cute, or from the South, or whatever?

Anyway. The contestants had the opportunity to choose a song that defined themselves as people and as artists. The good news is that this theme led to some songs I never thought I'd hear on the show being performed, and only three songs that have been performed in previous years. Not to say there weren't some dubious choices. And prior to each performance, Randy mumbled some nonsense to try and explain why he's still on the show. (Example: "If Jessica can connect with the song, she'll be a winner." As my friend Kevin would say, "Deep.") The rest of the show Randy sat, grinning and nodding uselessly, like a cross between Buddha and a benevolent don. (Can I start the #bringbackjimmyiovine campaign?)

Dexter kicked off the show, singing Chris Young's Aw Naw (had to Google it). Like Dexter, it was a perfectly nice performance, one you'd expect to hear at a bar or karaoke club. He seems like a terrific guy, but he's lacking a bit in charisma and any kind of vocal star quality. Keith called it "a great cover version," but said Dexter needed to make the song "more Dexter." Harry tried blaming the contestants' ear monitors for the fact that Dexter sung out of tune (a refrain he hit a number of times during the evening). Jennifer urged Dexter to use his personality more, and lamented that the song was too low for him and didn't hit the "sweet spot" of his voice. (Haven't heard that sweet spot in either of the two performances of his I've seen; does it exist or is it as elusive as useful suggestions from the Dawg?)

As soon as I saw Malaya bounding onto the stage, full of puppy-like energy, I wrote down, Tone the shtick down. Seriously. I get it, you're young, you're excited, but enough. She chose to sing Bruno Mars' Runaway Baby, previously performed to perfection by Season 11 third-place finisher Joshua Ledet (go to 2:48 in the video), and promised to bring her patented "Slyonce" (a cross between Sly of Sly and the Family Stone and Beyonce). Well, that didn't happen. But what did was a manic, horribly off-key and out-of-breath performance, where she changed up some of the pronouns but not all, and mostly bounced around. Ugh. Jennifer called it "not your best vocal performance" (ya think?) but said she commands the stage "like a superstar." (Really?) Harry called her "a contender" but said she seemed nervous. Keith said that the show wasn't as much about the performances (umm, okay) but about "watching you grow, and what you can do from here forward." I think she's in trouble, despite her promises to bring her tuba on the show.

So when you choose to a sing a song that defines you, would you choose one called Beautiful Disaster? Well, inexplicably, Kristen chose the aforementioned Kelly Clarkson song, and although the song is about loving a guy despite his flaws, Kristen explained that she was interpreting it to be about her, because she got into the top 13 on a wild card and needed to go for it, and whatever. Well, she didn't go for it. She's beautiful, and has a good voice, but her performances I've seen on the show have absolutely no oomph to them. She certainly has more talent than previous "pretty" contestants, but if she gets lucky and stays on the show past this week, she has to have (and I can't believe I'm saying this) a "moment." Keith said Kristen is a "really strong pop singer" but wasn't wowed, and Jennifer told her to "stop thinking and sing."

Dear Ben: stop trying so hard. Maybe you really are the small-town country guy who's not comfortable on social media, but asking, "Whatever happened to the Polaroid camera?" when talking about Instagram smacks of pretension. (And small-town country guys don't wear a leather baseball cap, a vest, and a tie.) He sang Johnny Cash's classic Folsom Prison Blues, which Paul McDonald sang during Season 10. Apparently Ben (or "Briley," as Ryan likes to call him, as if they're fratboys or whatever) opens every gig he plays with this song. It was really, really fast (even faster than Paul's version), and although he hit some good notes, at times his voice sounded both nasal and too high. Keith said the tempo was so quick that "Johnny might have done that a time or two with the help of a stimulant." He also told Ben to be careful when he entertained "not to sacrifice artistry for kitsch." Jennifer said it was the best performance so far (damned with faint praise, considering what had come before), and Harry said he gained respect for Ben because he "picked a song from our country's history." (Wonder what would have happened if he chose a Scott Joplin number, or perhaps a Revolutionary War ditty. I kid.)

C.J. sang Darius Rucker's Radio, and, Darius Rucker this guy is not. I guess he must have shown the judges something in Hollywood that has made them such a huge fan, but I've not been impressed with anything he's performed to date, and I wouldn't have given him a wild card last week. I get he's going for some gravel in his tone, but a lot of times he just sounds off-key to me (and it's not just the ear monitors). Jennifer said it was a lot of fun, that he may have had pitch problems (no "may" about it, J.Lo) but she could feel his energy. (He wasn't nearly as energetic as his cousin dancing in the audience!) Harry said that C.J. has a "cry" in his voice, and it has spoiled him, so he was disappointed that C.J. didn't show that off in this song. Keith said that C.J. emulated Darius Rucker's combination of "country, soul, and R&B swagger." Disagree.

MK decided to change things up and not sing a ballad, instead choosing Allen Stone's Satisfaction, a more uptempo song which I, like J.Lo, had never heard before. I really like MK and I'm excited she's getting the type of response she is on the show, but a tiny piece of me can't help but wonder if people are pandering to her in an effort to overcompensate. I actually thought this wasn't a very good performance vocally—I like the richness of her tone but her high notes tend to wobble, and this song had a lot more background vocals to distract. But the crowd and the judges seemed to really like it, although Keith said at times it looked like she was "waiting for the next line" of the song. Jennifer said that MK showed "confidence in patches" but sometimes looked like a deer in headlights, while Harry said that MK's voice never fails her. Guess it's another case of something sounding better in the studio than on television.

I really enjoyed Majesty's performance last week, and I felt she topped that with this week's rendition of Janelle Monae's Tightrope. She looked great, sounded terrific, and is a very strong performer. I loved the song choice, and so did the judges. (I never thought I'd hear Janelle Monae on this show, and I'm really excited about it.) Jennifer praised Majesty's style, telling her there's no one else like her, and Keith called her "a mystery," saying "it will be fun to watch the mystery of who you are unravel over the weeks."

Jena (who apparently told Ryan her hair was actually "s--t brown" under the black dye before her performance) sang Coldplay's The Scientist, which was previously performed by Season 9 semi-finalist Katelyn Epperly. I love Jena's voice and think she's definitely a strong contender on this show. I really liked this performance, although it seemed a bit too slow at times. The judges praised her "unique" and "powerhouse" voice, while Harry praised her "interesting choices on a preexisting melody."

If Elliot Yamin and Lee DeWyze had a love child, it would look like Alex. He's probably my favorite contestant, and this week he sang Jason Mraz's A Beautiful Mess. (Boy, I would have loved it if he sang Mraz's If It Kills Me.) I really liked this performance, his singing in a single red spotlight, despite the swaying of the audience (which I hate), although I think he may need to pick things up a little bit in a week or two. Harry inexplicably asked if he could "try to sing in tune" because he knows Alex can. (What? No ear monitor excuses there, Harry?) He also didn't like the "inward, introspective" nature of the performance. Keith disagreed, saying he felt pulled into Alex's performance. J.Lo agreed with Keith, calling the performance a really nice change, and she said she was "caught up in the mood." I'm going to reserve my judgment on Harry's comments, but I hope this isn't a contestant he tries to sabotage in favor of someone less talented.

Those of you who know me know I don't often admit I'm wrong, but Jessica's performance will cause me to do so. I was utterly underwhelmed by her performance last week, and since I didn't watch any of her earlier performances, wrote her off as a country performer who liked to pretend she was edgy. But her rendition of Shinedown's The Crow and the Butterfly was excellent—hard, gritty, and soulful—and I totally get her now. J.Lo said Jessica gave her "goosies" and that her performance was her favorite so far. Harry praised the "dark, haunting quality" of her voice. Really liked this.

Emily chose to sing P!nk's Glitter in the Air (otherwise known as the song P!nk sang at the Grammys while dangling in the air). She did really well with it, and I thought her voice was really powerful but she didn't overdo it. J.Lo said she was "gushing" over Emily's performance, while Harry praised her for singing the melody and conveying the emotions of the song well. Keith called it "a beautiful vocal from top to bottom," but said that what P!nk brings to her performances is a mixture of ying and yang, of sensitivity and a little edge, and cautioned Emily not to forget "the yang" when she sings. Which, of course, led to the inevitable sophomoric joking of "who's got the yang." Because you can never truly get the judges away from Beavis and Butthead-like humor. (Heh-heh-heh.)

The show's resident heartthrob, Sam, sang Matchbox 20's Unwell. It was perfectly pleasant and on-key, but nothing super exciting. The ladies in the crowd went wild, as expected. Harry called the performance "nice," but said he wished that Sam's vocal mirrored the song's "messed up" vibe. J.Lo called Sam a "quiet storm" (the same words she used to describe MK earlier) and said he can sing perfectly, but he needs to start believing it. I guess for a good-looking, talented 17-year-old on this show, a little humility is refreshing.

The first true pimp slot of the season went to the "resident rocker," Caleb. He sang Rival Sons' Pressure and Time, another song I'd never heard of. I think Caleb has tremendous pipes and a great range, but I hope he'll throw some, to quote Paula Abdul (unbelievably), light and shade into his future performances. I'll need a little variety or I'll start to get a little bored, but there's no denying his talent and showmanship. Keith said Caleb needs to figure out who he is and convey that a little stronger in his performances, J.Lo said he seemed "ready for the rock star life" but he "has the goods to back it up," and Harry told Caleb that much like Journey, when they needed a new lead singer, found Arnell Pineda, if Rival Sons ever needs a new singer, Caleb should get the job.

All in all, it was a pretty good show, although I thought about turning it off after the first three performances. But it was tremendously refreshing to hear some different songs, even (amazing!) some current ones. I'm going to try and remain optimistic that the stronger contestants will remain on the show and the, well, less strong ones will be voted off first, but we'll see how long my optimism lasts.

Who should be in the bottom three: Malaya, Kristen, and either Dexter or C.J.
Who will be in the bottom three: Malaya, Kristen, and either Dexter or (although I hope not) Alex

Until tonight's mess of a results show...

Fade in on a, well...

I was a huge fan of NBC's Smash in its first season. It was a show I had eagerly anticipated after first seeing the trailer, and once I started watching it, I loved the music from the show-within-a-show, and thought that many of the performances were great (despite that creepy, annoying Ellis). But when the show changed hands in its second season, the show (in my opinion) lost its focus, and quickly lost my interest.

But harkening back to that first season, one of my favorite songs was Let Me Be Your Star, which was performed in the trailer. A duet between Katharine McPhee and Megan Hilty, the two actresses vying for the role of Marilyn Monroe in the fictional musical Bombshell, the song hits on many feelings which should be familiar to anyone who has ever hoped to land a part in a production of any kind.

While on a surf of random videos on YouTube earlier today, I stumbled upon this version of Let Me Be Your Star, performed by Tony Award nominees Jeremy Jordan (who appeared in Smash's second season) and Jonathan Groff. It's a little campy (especially when the two don Marilyn wigs), but both are in pretty fine voice, and I thought it was too good not to share.

And for old time's sake, here's the original duet between McPhee and Hilty. Still gives me chills.