The Best Movies of the Decade...

For those of you who wonder if I do anything other than read, the answer is a resounding, "yes." As many of you know, I also go to the movies a lot, particularly as it gets closer to the end of the year and the films and performances being touted as potential Oscar nominees. Some years I don't see as many movies as I'd like, but some years I've had lots of chances.

Like I did in 2010 for the 2000s, I went through all of the movies I've seen and made a list of my top 50 movies of the 2010s. Boy, it wasn't easy, as there were a lot of movies that still resonate with me, some years after I've seen them.

I'll admit that once I got past the top 25 or so, ranking the movies became even more difficult, so the rankings are fairly arbitrary. I don't know that I necessarily loved movie #37 more than movie #40, but this is what happens when you do a list like this!

So, without further ado, here's my list. Feedback is always welcome (and appreciated). I'm sure I missed something major. For each movie, the title is linked to its IMDB profile in case you've never heard of it.

1. Fruitvale Station (2013): Tore my heart out, made me angry, and made me think. Still does all these years later. Starring Michael B. Jordan, Melonie Diaz, and Octavia Spencer; directed by Ryan Coogler.


2. Inception (2010): I still can't quite get this wild movie about dream-sharing technology and thought manipulation out of my head. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, and Marion Cotillard; directed by Christopher Nolan.


3. La La Land (2016): Go ahead, roll your eyes at me all you want. I fell head over heels for this love story between an aspiring actress and a musician, and loved every minute of its classic-musical feel. Starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone; directed by Damien Chazelle.


4. The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012): Terrific movie adaptation of one of my favorite books, this movie hit me right in the feels. Starring Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, and Ezra Miller; directed by Stephen Chbosky (who wrote the book).


5. Her (2013): A lonely man gets a little too attached to his phone's new operating system. Astute commentary on our ability to connect. Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, and Scarlett Johansson; directed by Spike Jonze.


6. Hugo (2011): An orphan living in a Paris train station in the 1930s tries to solve a mystery involving his late father and an automaton. A love letter to the movies. Starring Asa Butterfield and Chloë Grace Moretz; directed by Martin Scorsese.


7. Call Me by Your Name (2017): Sexy, romantic, and poignant, this is proof positive you never quite get over your first love. Great adaptation of Andre Aciman's terrific book. Starring Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer; directed by Luca Guadagnino.


8. Black Panther (2018): The only MCU movie on this list, this movie worked for me at every level and still feels joyful and exciting after many, many viewings. Still think it should've won Best Picture last year. Starring Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, and Lupita Nyong'o; directed by Ryan Coogler.


9. Moonrise Kingdom (2012): A young boy and girl fall in love and decide to run away from home, which causes their entire town to form a search party and try to find them. Trademark Wes Anderson quirk with so much heart. Starring Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward, and Bruce Willis; directed by Wes Anderson.
10. Boyhood (2014): A triumph of filmmaking (the same cast was filmed over 12 years) and a quietly special, memorable film in and of itself. Starring Ellar Coltrane, Patricia Arquette, and Ethan Hawke; directed by Richard Linklater.

My Favorite Books of the Decade...

I know that many subscribe to the philosophy that the decade technically doesn't end until the close of 2020, with the new decade starting in 2021, but I'm following along with conventional wisdom on this one like the sheep that I am...

Between 2010 and 2019, I read a total of 1,404 books. (That's not including books I didn't enjoy enough to finish.) I'm pretty pleased with that achievement. Of course, I don't necessarily remember everything about every book I've read, but there definitely have been books through the years which have remained in my mind and my heart, books that come to mind when people ask the inevitable question, "Any recommendations on what book I should read?"

I decided to pull together a list of my favorite books from the last decade. Since I've been keeping lists of the best books I've read each year, that made this task slightly easier, but still, culling this list down to a manageable side was nearly impossible! So what I did was narrowed my list to 40 books. I ranked my top 10 (no mean feat there) and then the rest I'll list randomly. The title of each book will be hyperlinked to my original review.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on these choices, as always. I hope you can find a great book or two on this list!

Best of the Decade

1. A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara (2015): When I read this 700+-page book several years ago, I realized two things: it is one of the most dazzlingly brilliant, emotionally moving books I've ever read, and it is a difficult and painful one to read at times. This was hands-down the best book I've read in the last 10 years, if not longer.


2. The Absolutist by John Boyne (2012): To say that this book devastated me is an understatement. It is easily one of the most beautifully written, emotionally gripping books I've read this past decade. This is a book about relationships, betrayal, courage, and standing up for yourself and your beliefs.


3. 11/22/63 by Stephen King (2011): A man is enlisted in the ultimate heroic mission—stopping Lee Harvey Oswald from assassinating John F. Kennedy. There have been thousands of books written about time travel and the idea of righting past wrongs, but in Stephen King's tremendously capable hands, this concept seems fresh and unique.


4. I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson (2014): This is beautiful, breathtaking, bewildering, and a little bizarre. It's a book about the half-truths we tell ourselves and our reluctance to see what is in front of us and say what we truly feel. It's also a book about how simple it is to hurt those closest to us, and how the simplest actions can cause so much pain. I read a lot of YA this decade, and this was truly the best.


5. An Exaltation of Larks (2018), A Charm of Finches (2018), and A Scarcity of Condors by Suanne Laqueur (2019): I considered all three books in this trilogy as one unit. Laqueur's ability to pull you into her books so completely, to feel such attachment to her characters that you can't stop thinking about them when you're finished reading, is absolutely dazzling. These books are gorgeous, sensitive, sexy, and emotional, full of moments that made me smile, made me blush, horrified me, and made me full-on ugly cry at times.


6. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz (2013): How can a person determined never to need anyone let themselves actually need someone? How can you tell the difference between friendship and love? Benjamin Alire Saenz's novel is so beautifully poetic, so emotional—it's funny, heartbreaking, frustrating, and rewarding. Just like life is. I loved this so much.


7. The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach (2011): It has been said that "baseball is life." Whether or not you agree with this statement, for the characters in Chad Harbach's fantastic novel, baseball may not be life, but it certainly is at the crux of their lives. Amazon named this the best book of 2011. It certainly was among my favorites from that year. Harbach is a terrific writer and at times, a sentence or two would make me pause and read it again, just to marvel at his word choices.


8. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (2012): This book hooked me so hard I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. to finish it, and there I was, sobbing, on my couch in the middle of the night. Clearly, a book about teenagers who meet in a cancer support group is headed in a direction you don't want it to, but even the journey Green takes you on is worth the sadness.


9. Tin Man by Sarah Winman (2018): When the blurb on the cover reads, "This is an astoundingly beautiful book. It drips with tenderness. It breaks your heart and warms it all at once," how can you resist? This is an immensely memorable story about friendship, love, and longing, and the blurred lines between those things.


10. Beartown (2017) and Us Against You by Fredrick Backman (2018): These two books are about a Swedish town that is literally obsessed with hockey, and which faces a crisis (or two) that will practically tear the town apart. These books are utterly phenomenal, full of heart, memorable characters you root for, and, at least for me, situations to make you cry.

The Best Books I Read in 2019...

Well, another year (and another decade, amazingly) has passed us by. It's crazy to believe we're in 2020 now!

This past year, I read a record 211 books. This very well may be the most I've ever read in a year, although I don't know how many books I read when I was working at a bookstore in college and could read during slow times. Suffice it to say, if this isn't the most I've ever read in a year, it's the most in nearly 30 years!! (Egads.)

Lots of times people ask me, "How do you read so much?" Reading is my single favorite leisure activity and it's one of the primary ways I decompress. If I don't get to read a little each day, I feel somewhat off-balance. I've traveled a lot again this year, so lots of time in airports, on airplanes, and alone in hotel rooms gives me lots of reading time. I also don't watch television (which you may consider good or bad), so I read when I could be watching TV.

I didn't love every book I read; in fact, there were more than a few I stopped reading so I didn't bother to write reviews, and there were also more than a few (sadly) that petered out before the end, so I wound up skimming through the remainder of the book. I hope that's not a continuing trend!! And here's a funny thing: I have a to-be-read list (TBR) that is gigantic, yet there are times when I finish a book I have no idea what to read next. Go figure.

As I've done for the last 10 years, I went back through all of the books I've read and come up with a list of my favorites. Culling 211 books down to a finite number was really, really difficult, so what I've done is come up with a list of 26 (one is two volumes of the same book), along with a number of others which just fell short of the very best but they're still too good to miss.

I've linked to my original review of each so you can read more about each one. I'd love to hear your thoughts, and know which books you'd count among your favorites! I ranked my top 10 this year and then the remainder of the books will be in random order—ranking those would be far too complicated!!

The Best of the Best

1. Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

: Imagine if the First Son of the United States (his mother is finishing her first term as president, his father is a U.S. Congressman) has a love affair with Prince Henry of Wales, an heir to the throne (well, the "spare," actually). I read this sweet, sexy, emotional, truly special book last January and it never left my mind.

Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid: This book, written as an oral history of the (fictional) legendary band Daisy Jones & The Six, reads as if you were watching an episode of VH1's "Behind the Music" crossed with the amazing movie Almost Famous. One of two books by Reid on this list, and one of her books made my best-of-2018 list as well. She's one hell of a writer.

A Scarcity of Condors by Suanne Laqueur: This is the third book in a trilogy by Laqueur—the first two books, An Exaltation of Larks and A Charm of Finches—made my top 5 in 2018. This is a gorgeous, sensitive, sexy, emotional book, full of moments that made me smile, made me blush, horrified me, and made me full-on ugly cry at times. The characters are simply gorgeous, fully drawn, and complex. It's a book about survival, about finding strength where there should be none, and about how love can help pull us through.

We Contain Multitudes by Sarah Henstra: This is a gorgeously moving, beautifully told, thought-provoking story of friendship, love, truth, and secrets. The entire book is narrated in letters between two boys—Adam "Kurl" Kurlansky, a football player repeating his senior year of high school, and Jonathan Hopkirk, a quirky, fiercely intelligent sophomore with a passion for Walt Whitman's poetry, who is bullied nearly every day at school because of his sexuality. This book, to borrow a phrase from one of the main characters, utterly undid me.

The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall: How is this a debut novel? This one sneaks up on you with its gorgeous, contemplative story which grabs hold of your mind and your heart. It's the story of two men who meet in 1963 when they are hired as co-ministers an historic church in Greenwich Village. They couldn’t be more opposite from one another. It’s not a book that requires any knowledge of religion or faith—it’s more an exploration of how faith means different things to different people, and how it appears and disappears at different times in our lives.

Find Me by Andre Aciman: While this is, in essence, a sequel to Call Me By Your Name, for the most part it’s more a book that follows some of the characters. If you go in expecting another whole book about Oliver and Elio you’ll be disappointed. This is a book about love, longing, all-consuming desire and the fear it might suddenly disappear. It’s also a book about what the heart wants and how strongly it clings to some people and some memories despite the passage of time.

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez: You might be tempted to write this off as fluffy "chick-lit," but you'd be wrong. Sure, there is romance, humor, hot sex, talk of soulmates and futures, but there is also an extra layer of emotional complexity in this book. The story of a couple who meet-cute when he rear-ends her car, who want to be together despite numerous obstacles in their way, is utterly put-downable. Even when the book took a surprisingly emotional turn, the characters remained utterly true to themselves and the story, and I became even more invested.

This Tender Land by William Kent Krueger: Two brothers are forced to escape the school they've been left in, a school that treats students with violence and cruelty, and they go on the run with their friend, a Native American boy who cannot speak, and an orphan girl, in 1930s Minnesota. Such a beautiful, thought-provoking, emotional book, this is the story of a harrowing journey, children forced to find the bravery of adults, with a little of the mystical thrown in for good measure.

Lie with Me by Philippe Besson: Can we ever forget the raw emotions, the intensity, the longing of our first true love? How does that relationship affect the rest of our lives? Besson poignantly captures those feelings, the way every fiber of your being is affected, the way you want nothing more than that person and cannot bear the thought of being apart. And how you mourn the end of that relationship, how it feels like no pain you've ever experienced, so much more than your heart can bear.

The Last True Poets of the Sea by Julia Drake: There’s so much to this story—the need to be loved and understood, family dysfunction, emotional issues, sexuality—and Drake did such a terrific job with it. Her writing is imbued with such rich emotion, her prose is poetic at times, and her characters are fascinating—they're layered, complex, and not entirely sympathetic. This book mesmerized me with its power, left me emotional, and touched my heart in an unforgettable way.

AI Results Recap: Someday You'll Find It, The Emotional Connection...

The best way to watch one of these results shows is when it has been recorded, so you can fast forward through all of the unnecessary banter and artificial tension. I mean, I know at some point I'll be frustrated, so why postpone the inevitable.

The show started with a surprisingly decent group medley of Counting Stars by OneRepublic and Radioactive by Imagine Dragons. Even with Ben's ridiculously annoying tomfoolery (because I'm like, you know, 100 years old) and Kristen showing more energy in the two solo lines she sang than any of her performances the last two weeks, their voices blended very well.

Apparently there were 71 million votes cast. Of course, I can only wonder how many of those votes actually happened after particular contestants performed. Because given some of the people who were safe, I can only figure they survived because of rabid fan bases.

The first group to hear the results were Malaya, Jena, Ben, and Alex. Again, I'll reiterate how much I hate that they constantly make these contestants walk thru the audience so they can high-five folks as they're going to hear results. To the surprise of no one, Malaya was sent to the stools of doom. Oh, wait, apparently Jennifer was surprised. She said she was upset Malaya was in the bottom three because although her performance "didn't show who she was" (among other things), "she belongs here."

Last year's champ, Candice Glover, came back to perform a medley of two of her songs, Cried and Some Kind of Man. She sounded great but she doesn't have a tremendous amount of stage presence. It's a shame given how talented she is that her album had the lowest sales of any Idol winner to date (even Taylor Hicks and Lee DeWyze).

Next up for the results, MK, Sam, Majesty and Dexter. In my opinion, Dexter should have been the one in the bottom three, but of course not! He's likeable and he's from the South! Instead, MK was sent to the stools of doom. And if that didn't make me irate enough, when Keith was asked what MK would need to do if she came back next week, and he said, "It needs to be about the emotional connection. It's not about vocal skills." And there you have it.

This season each of the judges and Randy will play "tastemaker" and highlight an up and coming artist. Keith introduced Jake Bugg, a 17-year-old English country singer who sounds a lot like Josiah Leming did when he was on the show (although Bugg's accent is authentic). The "rawr" quality of his voice didn't translate for me, Keith.

Of the last group of contestants—C.J., Kristen, Caleb, Jessica and Emily—it seemed fairly obvious who was headed for the stools. And I was correct, the beautiful disaster herself, Kristen was told she was in the bottom three.

So unless anything changes, it looks like the ladies may be doomed again this season. (It's sad that the only way this show can guarantee a female winner is to stack the deck.) This year the judges' save will expire at the top 6. Will they use it?

MK was sent to safety first. When Ryan asked Kristen what she'd do if she was back next week, she said show an iota of energy"try and be more myself." Malaya was asked if she'd bring back the piano, where she had success in Hollywood, and she said she might, but she also said, "I'll try and calm down." (Don't go breaking my heart, Malaya.)

Kristen was given the bad news that she'd have to sing for her life. She chose to reprise her rendition of Turning Tables from "Rush Week," and it was just a wee bit wobbly. Harry explained that the key to using the save was that it had to be a unanimous decision among the judges to use it, and the judges couldn't agree, so Kristen is the first person voted off the islandwell, you know.

After the montage of her experience (accompanied by Kristen's own rendition of Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway), her picture in a row of pictures of each of the top 13 was darkened, Hunger Games-style. I'm surprised they didn't shoot off a cannon.

And there you have it. Next week, the theme is "Home." Whatever that means. I'm guessing Caleb may sing Home Sweet Home and perhaps Dexter or C.J. can sing Sweet Home Alabama?

AI Top 13 Recap: Who's Got the Yang?

Yeah, I decided to give this season a try. We'll see how long it lasts.

I didn't watch any of the audition or Hollywood episodes, just watched last week, when the top 31 was culled to a top 13. One thing I've noticed is there's far too much touching going on, so I'd imagine Howie Mandel won't be able to watch. The contestants ran into the audience touching their hands, even the judges did the same thing. Sorry, it just creeps me out. I long for the days when the judges sat at their inaccessible table, and the contestants performed up on stage without any of the frolicking in the middle of the audience. Maybe I'm just a germaphobe...

One other thing before I start the actual recap of "This is Me" week. So now you can vote starting at the beginning of the show? What's the point of the show, then? Are the new producers finally acknowledging that the bulk of voters don't actually care about the contestants' performances (kind of like the judges sometimes), but just vote for who they like because they're cute, or from the South, or whatever?

Anyway. The contestants had the opportunity to choose a song that defined themselves as people and as artists. The good news is that this theme led to some songs I never thought I'd hear on the show being performed, and only three songs that have been performed in previous years. Not to say there weren't some dubious choices. And prior to each performance, Randy mumbled some nonsense to try and explain why he's still on the show. (Example: "If Jessica can connect with the song, she'll be a winner." As my friend Kevin would say, "Deep.") The rest of the show Randy sat, grinning and nodding uselessly, like a cross between Buddha and a benevolent don. (Can I start the #bringbackjimmyiovine campaign?)

Dexter kicked off the show, singing Chris Young's Aw Naw (had to Google it). Like Dexter, it was a perfectly nice performance, one you'd expect to hear at a bar or karaoke club. He seems like a terrific guy, but he's lacking a bit in charisma and any kind of vocal star quality. Keith called it "a great cover version," but said Dexter needed to make the song "more Dexter." Harry tried blaming the contestants' ear monitors for the fact that Dexter sung out of tune (a refrain he hit a number of times during the evening). Jennifer urged Dexter to use his personality more, and lamented that the song was too low for him and didn't hit the "sweet spot" of his voice. (Haven't heard that sweet spot in either of the two performances of his I've seen; does it exist or is it as elusive as useful suggestions from the Dawg?)

As soon as I saw Malaya bounding onto the stage, full of puppy-like energy, I wrote down, Tone the shtick down. Seriously. I get it, you're young, you're excited, but enough. She chose to sing Bruno Mars' Runaway Baby, previously performed to perfection by Season 11 third-place finisher Joshua Ledet (go to 2:48 in the video), and promised to bring her patented "Slyonce" (a cross between Sly of Sly and the Family Stone and Beyonce). Well, that didn't happen. But what did was a manic, horribly off-key and out-of-breath performance, where she changed up some of the pronouns but not all, and mostly bounced around. Ugh. Jennifer called it "not your best vocal performance" (ya think?) but said she commands the stage "like a superstar." (Really?) Harry called her "a contender" but said she seemed nervous. Keith said that the show wasn't as much about the performances (umm, okay) but about "watching you grow, and what you can do from here forward." I think she's in trouble, despite her promises to bring her tuba on the show.

So when you choose to a sing a song that defines you, would you choose one called Beautiful Disaster? Well, inexplicably, Kristen chose the aforementioned Kelly Clarkson song, and although the song is about loving a guy despite his flaws, Kristen explained that she was interpreting it to be about her, because she got into the top 13 on a wild card and needed to go for it, and whatever. Well, she didn't go for it. She's beautiful, and has a good voice, but her performances I've seen on the show have absolutely no oomph to them. She certainly has more talent than previous "pretty" contestants, but if she gets lucky and stays on the show past this week, she has to have (and I can't believe I'm saying this) a "moment." Keith said Kristen is a "really strong pop singer" but wasn't wowed, and Jennifer told her to "stop thinking and sing."

Dear Ben: stop trying so hard. Maybe you really are the small-town country guy who's not comfortable on social media, but asking, "Whatever happened to the Polaroid camera?" when talking about Instagram smacks of pretension. (And small-town country guys don't wear a leather baseball cap, a vest, and a tie.) He sang Johnny Cash's classic Folsom Prison Blues, which Paul McDonald sang during Season 10. Apparently Ben (or "Briley," as Ryan likes to call him, as if they're fratboys or whatever) opens every gig he plays with this song. It was really, really fast (even faster than Paul's version), and although he hit some good notes, at times his voice sounded both nasal and too high. Keith said the tempo was so quick that "Johnny might have done that a time or two with the help of a stimulant." He also told Ben to be careful when he entertained "not to sacrifice artistry for kitsch." Jennifer said it was the best performance so far (damned with faint praise, considering what had come before), and Harry said he gained respect for Ben because he "picked a song from our country's history." (Wonder what would have happened if he chose a Scott Joplin number, or perhaps a Revolutionary War ditty. I kid.)

C.J. sang Darius Rucker's Radio, and, Darius Rucker this guy is not. I guess he must have shown the judges something in Hollywood that has made them such a huge fan, but I've not been impressed with anything he's performed to date, and I wouldn't have given him a wild card last week. I get he's going for some gravel in his tone, but a lot of times he just sounds off-key to me (and it's not just the ear monitors). Jennifer said it was a lot of fun, that he may have had pitch problems (no "may" about it, J.Lo) but she could feel his energy. (He wasn't nearly as energetic as his cousin dancing in the audience!) Harry said that C.J. has a "cry" in his voice, and it has spoiled him, so he was disappointed that C.J. didn't show that off in this song. Keith said that C.J. emulated Darius Rucker's combination of "country, soul, and R&B swagger." Disagree.

MK decided to change things up and not sing a ballad, instead choosing Allen Stone's Satisfaction, a more uptempo song which I, like J.Lo, had never heard before. I really like MK and I'm excited she's getting the type of response she is on the show, but a tiny piece of me can't help but wonder if people are pandering to her in an effort to overcompensate. I actually thought this wasn't a very good performance vocally—I like the richness of her tone but her high notes tend to wobble, and this song had a lot more background vocals to distract. But the crowd and the judges seemed to really like it, although Keith said at times it looked like she was "waiting for the next line" of the song. Jennifer said that MK showed "confidence in patches" but sometimes looked like a deer in headlights, while Harry said that MK's voice never fails her. Guess it's another case of something sounding better in the studio than on television.

I really enjoyed Majesty's performance last week, and I felt she topped that with this week's rendition of Janelle Monae's Tightrope. She looked great, sounded terrific, and is a very strong performer. I loved the song choice, and so did the judges. (I never thought I'd hear Janelle Monae on this show, and I'm really excited about it.) Jennifer praised Majesty's style, telling her there's no one else like her, and Keith called her "a mystery," saying "it will be fun to watch the mystery of who you are unravel over the weeks."

Jena (who apparently told Ryan her hair was actually "s--t brown" under the black dye before her performance) sang Coldplay's The Scientist, which was previously performed by Season 9 semi-finalist Katelyn Epperly. I love Jena's voice and think she's definitely a strong contender on this show. I really liked this performance, although it seemed a bit too slow at times. The judges praised her "unique" and "powerhouse" voice, while Harry praised her "interesting choices on a preexisting melody."

If Elliot Yamin and Lee DeWyze had a love child, it would look like Alex. He's probably my favorite contestant, and this week he sang Jason Mraz's A Beautiful Mess. (Boy, I would have loved it if he sang Mraz's If It Kills Me.) I really liked this performance, his singing in a single red spotlight, despite the swaying of the audience (which I hate), although I think he may need to pick things up a little bit in a week or two. Harry inexplicably asked if he could "try to sing in tune" because he knows Alex can. (What? No ear monitor excuses there, Harry?) He also didn't like the "inward, introspective" nature of the performance. Keith disagreed, saying he felt pulled into Alex's performance. J.Lo agreed with Keith, calling the performance a really nice change, and she said she was "caught up in the mood." I'm going to reserve my judgment on Harry's comments, but I hope this isn't a contestant he tries to sabotage in favor of someone less talented.

Those of you who know me know I don't often admit I'm wrong, but Jessica's performance will cause me to do so. I was utterly underwhelmed by her performance last week, and since I didn't watch any of her earlier performances, wrote her off as a country performer who liked to pretend she was edgy. But her rendition of Shinedown's The Crow and the Butterfly was excellent—hard, gritty, and soulful—and I totally get her now. J.Lo said Jessica gave her "goosies" and that her performance was her favorite so far. Harry praised the "dark, haunting quality" of her voice. Really liked this.

Emily chose to sing P!nk's Glitter in the Air (otherwise known as the song P!nk sang at the Grammys while dangling in the air). She did really well with it, and I thought her voice was really powerful but she didn't overdo it. J.Lo said she was "gushing" over Emily's performance, while Harry praised her for singing the melody and conveying the emotions of the song well. Keith called it "a beautiful vocal from top to bottom," but said that what P!nk brings to her performances is a mixture of ying and yang, of sensitivity and a little edge, and cautioned Emily not to forget "the yang" when she sings. Which, of course, led to the inevitable sophomoric joking of "who's got the yang." Because you can never truly get the judges away from Beavis and Butthead-like humor. (Heh-heh-heh.)

The show's resident heartthrob, Sam, sang Matchbox 20's Unwell. It was perfectly pleasant and on-key, but nothing super exciting. The ladies in the crowd went wild, as expected. Harry called the performance "nice," but said he wished that Sam's vocal mirrored the song's "messed up" vibe. J.Lo called Sam a "quiet storm" (the same words she used to describe MK earlier) and said he can sing perfectly, but he needs to start believing it. I guess for a good-looking, talented 17-year-old on this show, a little humility is refreshing.

The first true pimp slot of the season went to the "resident rocker," Caleb. He sang Rival Sons' Pressure and Time, another song I'd never heard of. I think Caleb has tremendous pipes and a great range, but I hope he'll throw some, to quote Paula Abdul (unbelievably), light and shade into his future performances. I'll need a little variety or I'll start to get a little bored, but there's no denying his talent and showmanship. Keith said Caleb needs to figure out who he is and convey that a little stronger in his performances, J.Lo said he seemed "ready for the rock star life" but he "has the goods to back it up," and Harry told Caleb that much like Journey, when they needed a new lead singer, found Arnell Pineda, if Rival Sons ever needs a new singer, Caleb should get the job.

All in all, it was a pretty good show, although I thought about turning it off after the first three performances. But it was tremendously refreshing to hear some different songs, even (amazing!) some current ones. I'm going to try and remain optimistic that the stronger contestants will remain on the show and the, well, less strong ones will be voted off first, but we'll see how long my optimism lasts.

Who should be in the bottom three: Malaya, Kristen, and either Dexter or C.J.
Who will be in the bottom three: Malaya, Kristen, and either Dexter or (although I hope not) Alex

Until tonight's mess of a results show...

AI Results Show Recap: Can We Have Another Minute to Discuss?

Ok, Idol

fans, here's a little pop quiz for you.

The show's decision to finally show voter rankings after 12 seasons is:
(a) Awesome; just what I've been waiting for
(b) Horrible; takes away all the suspense
(c) Just another way to manipulate the message that girls rule, guys drool

I kid, I kid. While it was interesting to see allegedly how the contestants rank with voters, I could have done without the whole, "Devin, you received 25 percent of the vote in Puerto Rico" thing. I need lots of space before people start lighting up maps with different colors or people, ok? But seriously, while the top three vote-getters from Wednesday's show—Candice, Kree, and Angie (in mysterious order)—were probably my top three, I worry that if the results consistently look this way, people may get complacent and not vote for the stronger contestants. And if Kree and Candice aren't the final two, someone will pay.

The show started with a recap of Wednesday night's performances, and we got Jimmy's manipulated feedback on the contestants.

• "Singing slow urban gospel every week won't get Curtis past the top 8."
• "When I heard Janelle sing, I was sold. That girl's not going anywhere." (This is where I call BS. Her performance was tepid and utterly lacking star quality or vocal charisma.)
• "If Devin sings this type of song a few times, this will be his temporary home."
• "Angie is a real talent. When she sings her own songs, she's magnificent; but she wasn't as good as the judges thought with this song."
• "Paul picked a good song for him, but I don't get the country/pop thing. It's pure pop. Other guys did a better job than him, though." (Other than Burnell, who? No one, that's who. But better get our last white guy off the show ASAP!)
• "Candice's talent, her poise, won the night."
• "Lazaro has potential, but he needs to learn to take criticism and work harder." (Clearly he sees Lazaro as a threat to a girl winning.)
• "Kree was great, she knows the material she sings better than anyone. Top 3."
• "Burnell was the best guy, he did a great job."
• "When it comes to charisma and star package, it's Amber, Amber, Amber. Top 3."

Then Ryan started this new thing where they tell people where their votes were coming from. I won't even recap it because it's stupid and unnecessary. But Candice made the top three.

And speaking of unnecessary, instead of the Ford Music Video (are they still doing these?) we got a commercial for some upcoming movie called The Croods, because the contestants sang some sappy song from the movie called Shine Your Way. I'll pass.

Fast-forwarded through the Bon Jovi performance, which was taped a week ago. Lest my Jersey cred be threatened, I saw them live in concert about a month ago. This was just a reminder they did far too few of their hits and far too many new songs.

Kree was presented with the key to her hometown of Woodville, Texas by the city's mayor. Oh, and she made the top three.

Time for the sing-off for a spot on the summer tour! (That's about as much enthusiasm as I can muster.) Moptop mess Charlie was the sixth place finisher on the guys' side, so he came out full dressed this week, accompanying himself on the piano to an original song called Lucy in the Sky with Sky Blue Diamond. It was slightly treacly but more on key and together than Charlie has been in a while. He admitted he wrote the song about having to "choose between a two-year relationship and being on the show." I'm sure the producers had their tranq guns at the ready in case he started breaking down again.

Aubrey was the sixth-place finisher on the girls' side. (Still shocked they didn't trot out Zoanette to up the crazy quotient.) She looked gorgeous and sang Out Here On My Own. As with every one of her performances, I marveled more at how beautiful she was than how she sounded. Now it's up to the voters, and I'd assume our little awkward turtle will get his chance to shine in the spotlight. We'll find out next week, though, so stay tuned!

One of my phavorite (haha) winners, Phillip Phillips, returned, well, home, to perform his new single Gone, Gone, Gone (which, as we'd later find out, is the new single they play for the eliminated contestants). He also was presented with notice that his single Home is certified as quadruple platinum. Not bad for someone people wrote off as a Dave Matthews wannabe, huh?

After revealing that Angie was the third contestant in the top three, they ripped a page from The X-Factor's book and revealed the rankings of the remaining contestants, one by one, as they saw their faces flash up on the monitor and tried not to freak out around those yet to find out where they stood. The rankings were as follows:

4th Place: Lazaro (if he can get his act together, he's dangerous)
5th Place: Amber (I was a little surprised she was so low, but again, I wasn't as overwhelmed as everyone else with her performance)
6th Place: Janelle (I guess she was the 5th best girl, so...)
7th Place: Burnell
8th Place: Paul (I think he's probably in trouble)

The bottom two were Devin and Curtis. Nicki announced, "If Curtis goes home, then I'm going home." And after a little hemming and hawing, Ryan revealed that Curtis finished in last place and would need to sing for his life. Nicki threw some sort of fake temper tantrum. Curtis' redux of I Believe I Can Fly was less hammy but not much better than his performance Wednesday night, but I still expected the judges to fall all over him.

Would they use the save? I couldn't imagine that they would, even if Curtis hit every note and made angels weep, because I'm sure they're saving it for one of the ladies, when one of the favorites is falsely put at risk as a way to motivate voters winds up a victim of voter neglect. When Randy revealed the decision on whether to save Curtis wasn't unanimous (which it must be), Nicki said, "I don't feel like we came to a decision. Could we have another minute to discuss it?" (Not that the judges spoke at all during Curtis' performance, because the die was already cast.)

And with that, we said goodbye to someone Ryan labeled, "One of our favorite people ever on the show." Umm, not even close. I'm actually thrilled at this point, and honestly, I don't dislike any of the remaining nine as much as Curtis. So glad he didn't stick around for weeks like previous egomaniacs Michael Lynche and Jacob Lusk.

Will Charlie or Aubrey join the tour? Do you care? I don't. But if I were Nick, Cortez, Elijah, and Vincent, I'd be kind of bummed I finished lower than mega-meltdown Charlie...

AI Recap: I'd Stand Up, But My Skirt's Too Short...

On last night's show, clearly brought to you by Jimmy Iovine and Interscope Records, was mostly a snoozefest, punctuated by a few star-worthy performances. (Seriously, what was with every contestant talking about how amazing it was to meet Jimmy, how nervous they were, blah blah blah?) And the snoozing, I believe, was mostly due to one of the worst theme choices ever—"Songs of the American Idols," a mishmash of songs sung by the winners on the show plus songs they've recorded post-Idol. As you might imagine, there were some tired songs on this show.

Nicki was about 7-10 minutes late for the episode, ostensibly "stuck in traffic" on her way to the studio. Or she heard Curtis' tepid and off-key performance of Fantasia's I Believe in rehearsal, and figured she could skip it. Seriously, dude. You said you didn't want to "top" Fantasia's performance? Well, no danger there! (Syesha Mercado covered this in Season 7, and I thought she did a pretty great job.) First of all, Curtis was wearing a jacket made from bandannas or horrible paisley curtains, and oh, vocally he was an utter mess. He was off-key nearly the entire song and the choir didn't help him any, and the sharp high note he threw in at the end smacked a little of desperation, like when figure skaters throw in a triple salchow at the end of their routine because they fell on another jump earlier on. For some reason, however, the judges wouldn't criticize his vocals, although Keith said Curtis' adrenaline "caused you to sing above where you were supposed to." Randy said "a couple of things were great," but said Curtis kept trotting out the same type of inspirational songs, and he wanted him to do something different. (Like sing on key and be less pompous? Oh, probably not.) Mariah disagreed with Randy, saying she wanted more of Curtis' "gospel-tinged" vocals, and even mocked Randy, saying that "Randy wants you to do a rock album."

Jimmy told Janelle she needed to stand out because there are "lots of blonde country singers" out there right now. She decided to sing Montgomery Gentry's Gone, which Season 10 winner Scotty McCreery sang. (LMFAO when Jimmy said that Scotty took "lots of genres" and turned them into country songs. No, he sang everything the same way.) While Janelle's performance was upbeat and pleasant, she just doesn't have a particularly strong or memorable voice, and again, I don't think she should have made it even this far. She is by far the weakest woman in the top 10. She said she got "cotton mouth" during her song. Keith said Janelle was "burning it up" onstage (hardly) and he liked her "LeAnn Womack-y runs." Nicki told "King Arthur" that last week's song suited her better, and she wished that she'd sing songs "that show the pretty part of your voice," but still called her "electrifying." (Take your hood down and your sunglasses off, Nicki. Maybe then you'll hear and see what's going on.) Randy said "the song didn't lead anywhere," while Mariah contradicted herself as always, saying she would love to hear Janelle sing a ballad or mid-tempo song, but that her "aura was giving us 'star'."

Devin chose to sing Carrie Underwood's Temporary Home. I love the song and think, when it's done right, it has the power to move you emotionally. Devin mentioned in his meeting with Jimmy that he identified with some of the lyrics because he was raised in a single-parent home. Regardless, that emotional connection didn't translate into a memorable performance. I thought he was bland and disappointing, although he hit all his notes. Keith said it wasn't one of his better performances and said that while the song was good for Devin's voice, he appeared to be nervous, unlike his usual confident self. Nicki disagreed, saying that Devin didn't look afraid, he looked professional, and felt this showed another facet of his talent. Randy called it "way too safe," saying he mistakenly underplayed it, because "you got to go for broke every time." Mariah explained it wasn't Devin's vocals necessarily, but "we expect so much from you because you have the ability to do so much vocally." Ryan said, "If you're here next week, you'll show a different side of you, right?" Devin corrected him, saying, "When I'm here..."

Jimmy warned Angie that she has a tendency when performing to seem like she's performing in a beauty pageant. She shuddered and said, "I would never want to compete in a beauty pageant." I'm going to stay off my anti-pageant-bashing soapbox for the time being, but just say, if you don't want to sound pageanty, perhaps you shouldn't sing a song that has been performed better by pageant contestants, in this case, Jill Brooks, who won a talent prelim at the 2011 Miss Tennessee Pageant. Anyway, Angie chose to sing Celine Dion's I Surrender, originally sung by Kelly Clarkson, and covered by Anthony Federov in Season 4 and Season 8's Lil Rounds. When Angie finished singing, Keith said, "As do I, surrender." He called Angie "such an artist, because you can take any song and make it feel current." (I didn't feel this one was current, actually.) He also said that Angie's higher register was very pleasing to the ear. Nicki said Angie looked like a billion dollars, that her "legs are giving me everything I need today." She called Angie "perfection on every level," said her voice was flawless, and that she was "a thousand billion percent amazing." Randy did his all-too-tired declaration combination of "The competition starts now!" and "This girl is in it to win it!" Mariah said, in her shortest critique of the evening, "What did I think? Stellar."

Jimmy reminded Paul not to oversing, not to overthink, and for goodness sake, don't be theatrical. "You're not running for president!" Paul chose to sing Lonestar's Amazed, which Scotty sang in Season 10. (This song has been covered to death on this show—by Josh Gracin in Season 2, Matt Rogers in Season 3, even Baylie Brown in Season 11. And there's no video proof of any of it.) Truthfully, I thought this was Paul's best vocal, as he hit some big notes but didn't overdo it. He certainly deserved more praise than I think he got. Keith said it sounded as if Paul had been listening to the judges' critiques, and called it one of his better performances, suggesting he "stay on this track." Nicki told Paul, "This is the first time you've stimulated my sexual appetite," and said this was a good song for Paul's voice. Randy told Paul he wasn't going to comment on the sexual appetite (thank you, Dawg) but called it a "great song choice," although he wanted Paul to stay in a higher register longer. (Of course, last week he told Paul that when he got intense, it wasn't pleasant to listen to, so what would you expect?)

All hail Candice. She sang I Who Have Nothing, covered by Jordin Sparks during Season 6. Holy frigging crap, she was that good. Control and unleashed vocal power, ridiculous range but softer parts, too. I hope she's this good every week. She just has a performance quality that is head and shoulders above everyone on this show except Kree. (Totally different vocal, but equally as slaying, IMHO.) Keith, Randy, and Nicki gave her a standing ovation. (I did, too.) Keith said, "Just know if we had more time, we'd still be standing and clapping for you." He praised her effortless command of the notes and how she "never let the audience pull you out of your zone." Nicki suggested, "It would be in everyone's best interest to never sing this song ever again," even recommending the song be "banned from the show" because Candice "destroyed" it. (Nicki, if only they'd ban certain songs from the show...maybe you can get them to do it.) She said Candice combined "vocal gymnastics fused with a fresh, current, ill style." Randy loved it, but gave her the tepid, "This is one of the greatest performances on the show...this season." Mariah said that every time Candice is on stage, she's mesmerized and transfixed, and feels her performances in her heart. Apparently last week, after Candice's performance, one of her minions Mariah tweeted, "Candice, wow!" She also explained that her skirt is too tight, which is why she can't stand up to give her a standing ovation like the other judges.

Lazaro looked dapper, like a young Bruno Mars, in a turquoise jacket and skinny black tie. Unfortunately, that was the most inspired part of his performance. He chose to sing Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway, previously covered by Katie Stevens in Season 9. He hit some good notes, but mostly the song seemed out of his range. Keith asked him why he chose that song. I felt really bad for Lazaro trying to get his words out, but ultimately he explained he identified with the lyrics because he grew up in a small town and left his family to try his hand at performing. Keith said the performance wasn't in his wheelhouse, Nicki called it her least favorite performance of Lazaro's, chalking it up to Jimmy's criticism that Lazaro often forgets his words or seems lost in his performances, which I agree is untrue. She did tell Lazaro he looked like "a cuddly Ricky Ricardo." Randy said his pitch was all over the place, and Mariah condescended, saying "people are falling in love with your courage." Oh, and Mariah knows what it's like to overcome obstacles.

I'm not sure what Jimmy was smoking when he told Kree not to oversing, something she's never done, but it didn't matter. She absolutely slayed Roy Orbison's Crying, originally sung by Carrie Underwood in Season 4. Not quite sure why that performance wasn't worthy of a standing o, though. Keith trotted out the "you could sing the phone book" compliment, but then told Kree if she made a record tomorrow, he'd buy it in a heartbeat. Nicki called Kree's performance "smooth, delicious fun," and then said something like, "Sometimes when I'm hungry, I want waffles—buttermilk waffles—and I put some Aunt Jemima maple syrup on them, and a little butter, and then put it in the microwave for a tiny bit to warm it all up. That's how your performance made me feel." Randy was perplexed, but told Kree he loves her and loves her voice, and from the first note of every song she sings, he's drawn in. He also said her performance made him feel good all over. Mariah said it was obvious Kree has an enormous range.

Of all the songs Burnell could have chosen, he chose Ruben Studdard's Season 2 coronation song, Flying without Wings. God, it reminded me of how disappointed I was when he beat Clay Aiken that year. Burnell lost the glasses for this performance, not that he would have been able to see anyway given the clouds of smoke/fog wafting all over the stage. It's a really boring song and I don't think he did much with it. Keith praised the "unique timbre" of Burnell's voice and the so-called "Burnell-isms" in his performance. Nicki admitted to being "obsessed" with Ruben's album and that song (really?), and said that Burnell is well on his way, although she loved last week's performance better. Randy said he "vindicated the dudes" with his performance. Mariah talked about how emotional Burnell makes her when he sings. Ryan snarked, "It looks like the smoke has traveled all the way from Vatican City." Hee.

Getting the pimp spot for the second time this season already was Amber, who chose Kelly's coronation song, A Moment Like This, which Jimmy inexplicably suggested she should sing up-tempo. Thankfully, she didn't, although she brought an interesting interpretation to the song, and proved her ability to sing while being battered about by the wind machine. She hit some big notes, and I really like her voice, but like her performance last week, I feel like she rushes through songs and doesn't hang on some of the notes as much as she should. Keith, Randy, and Nicki gave her a standing ovation. Keith told Amber that "the way you perform is how I feel when I listen to you, simply effortless." Nicki called it the best performance of the night (I guess her memory only lasts past one or two performances, because this wasn't better than Candice and Kree), and said that Amber's aura and voice remind her of Whitney Houston on her first album. Randy said Amber "blew it out the box," called it "so perfect," and said, "Guys, the girls are killing you tonight!" Mariah said, "Hashtag 'Pow!' To critique you is unnecessary." (Except, that, well, it's your frigging job!!)

It will be interesting to see if the bottom three is all guys tonight, or if Janelle winds up there because she sang second.

My bottom three:
Curtis
Lazaro
Janelle

What I think might happen:
Curtis
Lazaro
Devin

I honestly think that Curtis or (sadly) even Lazaro should go home, although Devin could, because he's been slightly less pimped and doesn't have Lazaro's back story. Hopefully not, though.

Tonight, Bon Jovi, Phillip Phillips (hooray), and an utterly unnecessary "sing off" for a spot on the tour between two people no one cared about enough to vote for. Plus, if we're lucky, an awkward group routine, a Ford music video, plenty of fakeouts and manufactured drama! Who says Thursdays stopped being fun after "Must See TV" went off the air?

AI Recap: The Power of 10

Did we really have a top 10 results show without unnecessary drama (save the forced histrionics of another overblown Curtis Finch, Jr. performance)?

Is it possible that, although I'm not crazy about a few of the contestants, this is a top 10 that doesn't incense me?

Were we really spared any non-prerecorded moments of Zoanette- or Charlie-related madness?

Hold on to your hats, kids, this may be the end of days. Or a harbinger of the madness to come. But whatever it is, I found last night's results show far less annoying and crap-filled than I know future results shows will be. Although if some of the top 10's "victory performances" are any indication of what they're going to sound like in front of a live Hollywood audience, we may be in trouble.

I'm not sure who thought of the design of this show, but it was horribly stupid. The contestants were kept backstage in this weird holding room, seemingly miles away from the stage. The audience in the theater couldn't see them, but we could at home. Ryan started by telling the guys which ones made it into the top 10 (and secured a spot on the summer tour—oh joy, oh rapture), and when he'd call someone's name, they'd walk all the way to these dramatic-looking doors to the stage, and then Ryan would announce their names to the crowd, into which they'd walk, to rousing applause.

If it sounds confusing and unnecessary, it was even more so, but to be spared the ridiculously non-dramatic fakeouts of who made it and who didn't, I was willing to endure. Plus, I watched it on my DVR, so I fast-forwarded through anything the judges had to say when they gave their so-called "advice" to the contestants.

Shockingly, the overly theatrical "guy Taylor Swift," Paul, was the first contestant named into the top 5. He was shocked and said he wondered if Ryan was playing a joke on him. He screeched and stumbled through a (surprise) dramatically oversung version of Alone, performed on this show far too many times to count, none greater than one of Paul's idols, Carrie Underwood.

Burnell, rocking an ensemble last worn by Will Smith on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, was next to be named into the top 5. He sang India.Arie's Ready for Love, complete with his soon-to-be-trademarked hand gestures. The amazing Joshua Ledet sang this song last season (although only the studio version can be found on YouTube). Burnell, I loved Joshua Ledet, and you are no Joshua Ledet. Don't try.

To the surprise of no one (not even him, no matter how much he playacted humility and shock), Curtis also made it into the top 10. He sang John Legend's So High (again with the flying theme), and he started in with the Burnellisms, too, pointing "high", etc. I didn't think his performance was as strong as some of his others, and I hope (although I doubt) the judges will tell him that every note, every gesture doesn't need to be hammered to death. Subtlety can be wonderful sometimes, too. (Stop looking at me. Remember, those who can't do write about others who can't do.)

Who's next? Our own "Spanish Ken doll," Devin. I'm seriously liking him more and more every time I see him. He sang Israel Houghton's The Power of One (all in English this time, although in her post-performance "advice," Nicki suggested Devin stick with the English/Spanish hybrid), and he sounded great (mostly) and showed more performance skill than we've seen from him yet. Hoping he goes far.

I wondered who would be the final guy in the top 10. Marketable, ladies-loving Elijah? Early favorite Vincent, whose last performance knocked him off his pedestal? Chapeau-topped Nick? "Jean vest" wearing, pelvis-thrusting Cortez? No. The final slot went to the one with the amazing smile and the great story, Lazaro, this time surprisingly dressed in all black save for white sneakers. He apparently didn't know the last few notes of his victory song, Bridge Over Troubled Water, despite it being the song he sang for his audition. (Of course, AI lovers remember this as the song that should have won Clay Aiken the title in Season 2, and Season 10's Curtis, Jacob Lusk, also sang it.) Vocally, Lazaro was a little bit of a mess, sometimes good and sometimes fairly bad, but I love him. It will be interesting to see how long he lasts if he doesn't continue improving.

When they brought the five guys who were cut out onstage, I waited for the moment the judges or Ryan would announce wildcards. Nope.

Time for the ladies to enter the holding pen. First into the top 10, the constantly underwhelming Janelle, who underwhelmed again with her rendition of Dierks Bentley's Home. I like that she sounds like Jewel without the twee lyrics, but she doesn't wow me in any way, kind of the way the judges and everyone kept telling us how amazing Lauren Alaina was in Season 10, but she never seemed to wow anyone. I predict Janelle will soon be the Kristy Lee Cook-ish bane of my existence.

Candice was next. Still cannot believe she was cut last season, because she would have chewed up and spit out Jessica Sanchez like Jennifer Holliday nearly did during last season's finale. She sang Mary J. Blige's I'm Goin' Down and was Ah. Ma. Zing. Can she just be declared the winner and give me my nights back?

Piano-playing, original song-writing, Angie made it next. She looked great but didn't sound so great on a somewhat overblown and screechy I Was Here by Beyonce. Let's hope it was just nerves. And did you know she wrote and performed an original song?

When Ryan announced that Amber was the next contestant into the top 10, she looked like she might pass out. Nicki is right: the girl has legs for days, even if I feel like a bit of a perv saying that. She showed a bit more personality by singing another Whitney Houston song, this time I'm Every Woman, which Trenyce sang in Season 2, Mandisa sang in Season 5, and Lil Rounds sang in Season 8, but apparently none of those are available on YouTube. It will be interesting to see if Amber can stand out this season.

Would the final spot in the top 10 go to one of our beautiful, marketable contestants, Breanna or Aubrey? The hot mess of Zoanette? Future Miss Alaska Adriana? I'll admit, I sweated through this one, until Ryan announced that Kree made it into the top 10. I take back my earlier comment: can Kree win now? Her performance of Susan Tedeschi's Evidence showed fire, sass, and amazing vocals...and the camera pan showed she has a pretty hot boyfriend. How can you miss?

Again, I expected an announcement about wild cards. Nope. But apparently the sixth-place finisher on both the guys' and ladies' sides will compete in some sort of pre-determined sing-off to determine who gets a spot on the summer tour. It will be interesting to see who they pretend finished sixth—I can't imagine they won't want either Charlie or Zoanette to be that person, for the drama factor alone.

And there you have it...the 10 people sure to make me crazy one way or another over the next nine or so weeks. (Fifteen people total, counting the judges and Ryan. Oh, and Jimmy. Sixteen. Sigh.)

AI Recap: I Believe I Can Fly, Do You??

I'll admit I'm not a huge Ryan Seacrest fan—the seasons-long banter between him and Simon Cowell that bordered on homophobia, the hammy dramatics of result nights, even his immense dominance of the entertainment world. But the way he handled Charlie Askew last night—with kid gloves rather than a spotlight—showed that he truly is a consummate professional, and a genuine heart beats inside the man made of cheese. (His words, not mine.) But more on that in a bit.

The difference between Tuesday night's show and last night's was pretty epic. On Tuesday night's show, seven, maybe eight women turned in good performances I'd be willing to watch again. But last night, I honestly liked two, maybe three performances completely, was bored and disappointed by several, and found the remaining performances to be utterly demonstrative of the show's desperate, ham-handed need to have a female winner this season.

In case you didn't know, Elijah likes the ladies. And if you didn't know, he mentioned it like three or four times, because he hoped to "connect with all my ladies out there" with his performance. Way to go, guy. You're heterosexual. He sang Rihanna's Stay, and it was definitely better than his performance from last week, but a great singer he's not. But dude, why do you keep going for falsetto notes when you have no falsetto? Keith said the song suited his voice and he showed good control. Nicki admitted, "I think I would be willing to stay," and then beat the marketable horse again, saying she could see his face on blankets and other merchandise in a "New Kids on the Block from wayback kinda thing." Randy and I were on the same wavelength (it's happening more often than I'd care to admit this season), as he said he liked the performance more than last week, but it "never left first gear, and never went anywhere." Oh, but he looks marketable. Mariah suffered from incurable logorrhea this episode (definition: incessant or compulsive talkiness), and she patently refused to say anything negative about almost every contestant. She called this one of Elijah's better performances, said his relevancy was his strongest point, mentioned that he was very "saleable," and also pointed out a trend that she's noticed lately about songs with "intimate" lyrics on the radio, etc. Her verbal diarrhea got so bad by the end of the show that the band just started playing her off. (Points to Ray Chew Live on that.)

Cortez recognized that his performance of Titanium last week was a bit of a mess, so he vowed to do better this week. He sang Bruno Mars' Locked Out of Heaven, and while I give him props for the song choice, at the end of the day, he isn't a very good singer, and tends to go for songs that require a higher range than he has. And the pelvic thrusts while rocking a stonewashed denim vest didn't help the, well, package any, either. (I also thought the male background singer was seriously loud on this song.) Keith asked why Cortez chose this song, because he explained that while he loves his voice and his spirit, it wasn't the best to show off his ability. Nicki said that Cortez got his "mojo back," but said "whoever styles Elijah should style you," as she mocked his "jean vest." (Hee.) She mentioned that she felt like he was straining vocally, however. Randy agreed, saying that it seems like he needs to take nearly every song he sings "down a half-step or a whole step." Mariah told Cortez she enjoyed the ballads he performed during Hollywood week and the auditions more, and admitted that he might take the song down a half-step. She said, "I'm not sure the song is you, although you chose it," but he has "a lot more to give vocally."

Oh, Charlie. Even your pre-performance video smacked of desperation, down to the self-mockery of his inability to grow a mustache. He hit the stage in a tie-dyed tank top (gross on so many levels), hair pulled back in a ponytail, and a feather earring, and sang/screamed Mama by Genesis. Honestly, I'm not sure if Charlie is truly earnest in his attempts to play the fool or if this is some side-eyed mockery a la Sanjaya or Norman Gentle. The judges were truly flummoxed. Keith told Charlie he has a huge range and could front a band—and perhaps that's the path he should choose—but the way he performed felt disingenuous and disconnected. (Not to mention, STOP SCREAMING AT ME, CHARLIE!) Nicki asked, "Where's my little baby at? I don't want to see your arms, I don't want to see that earring, and get rid of the mustache immediately. I feel like I lost my kid." She said she didn't know where the "darker thing" was coming from and it upset her. Randy said the front part of the song was terrible, and then it went to scream at the end. "I just didn't get it at all," he admitted. Mariah babbled that she appreciated Charlie's love of classic rock songs, "and maybe you're trying to bring the whole genre back to a new audience," and she enjoys him a lot as a person. Charlie seemed on the verge of tears throughout the judges' feedback, and when Ryan asked him what his motivation was for the performance, he said, "I needed to vent a little bit." He continued, "A lot of people think I'm a buoyant kid, but I smile all the time because I have to." You honestly could have heard a pin drop, and Ryan held it together impressively, praising Charlie's "honesty and courage." First of all, I've been where Charlie is (emotionally, not onstage or in terms of wardrobe), so I know how hard it is to hold it all together. And while I hope he's not as low as he said he was, I think I'd rather he feel that way than believe for a second that this meltdown was even the tiniest bit calculated to get people's sympathy. This boy needs some psychological help and some time out of the camera lens, he doesn't need a few more weeks of tottering on the cracking ice of his psyche.

Nick, why do you continuously underwhelm when you have such a beautiful voice? Props for admitting that "his 20s caught up with him" and caused him to lose his hair, which explains the sartorial choice of hats each week. He returned to the piano and sang a very pretty, creatively styled version of the Goo Goo Dolls' Iris, but at times his voice was swallowed up a bit by the band, and I just kept waiting for it to knock me off the couch. I like him so much, so it's disappointing to think he might not make it in favor of back story and marketability. Keith loved the vulnerability of his tone. Apparently, this is one of Nicki's most favorite songs, so she didn't like that he played with the melody right away, but she said it was "pretty," in his comfort zone, and true to him. Randy liked the whole "Ryan Tedder thing" he had going on but didn't think it was his best performance. He said it left him wondering "who are you, not who you desire to be?" (I feel the same way about you, dawg.) Mariah felt like he "kicked in" at the end.

Burnell trotted out the now-familiar memes—he dropped 40 pounds and his family survived Katrina. He revisited his audition song, I'm Here from the musical version of The Color Purple. He has a very good, very interesting voice, but if someone doesn't stop the downright corny hand gestures I may slap my television. And I'm guessing that there might have been a nostalgia sale at either Merry-Go-Round or Chess King, because Burnell, too, was rocking the stonewashed denim, along with a backward baseball cap. Keith gave him a standing ovation, and said that he believed Burnell when he sang the song's lyrics. He also praised his "instantly recognizable voice." Nicki said "It's pretty obvious you're one of a kind," and once again noted the "struggle and pain" in his voice. Randy said that Burnell captured his attention immediately when he started singing because of the urgency in his voice. Mariah said that his revisiting his audition song (which made her cry then) gave her another tearful moment. Burnell explained he chose to sing the same song because when people saw it during the audition rounds, it was all chopped up, so he wanted people to hear the whole thing.

Apparently Paul has been an extra in music videos for Lady Antebellum, Carrie Underwood and Blake Shelton. He listened to all of the judges' critiques of his last performance and really was going to avoid oversinging this week. He sang Just a Fool by Christina Aguilera and Blake Shelton, and parts of it were fantastic and parts were really over the top. Keith asked Paul what kind of artist he wanted to be, and he explained he wanted to be a pop/country artist, the male counterpart of of Carrie Underwood or Taylor Swift. "So you want to be the guy Taylor?", Keith questioned. "Yes," Paul exclaimed, "If people want me to be!" (You can't show people you're that desperate, Paul.) Keith cautioned him not to underestimate his voice (which I honestly don't understand) and said something about being believable. (What's more believable, naked desperation or fake crying when you're moved by your own performance?) Nicki called it a solid performance, but suggested that Paul listen to Keith, because he knows what he's talking about when it comes to country music. Randy said the beginning of the song was amazing, but explained that Paul changes his tone when he gets vocally intense, and it isn't always pleasant to listen to. Mariah didn't know Paul wanted to be a country/pop artist (so?), but said that he had a "strong instrument." (She said a lot of other things that meant nothing.) Keith ended by saying that Paul is "better than he realizes he is." I'm no singer, but I think when you tell people they're not believable and they underestimate their voice, they probably don't think they're that good, so why tell them they are yet criticize them?

While my love of Lazaro obviously stems from the actual courage he shows every time he has to speak to the judges or Ryan, or how he makes it through every day of his life, I love his amazingly sunny personality and the richness of his voice. He sang the Nina Simone classic Feeling Good, which has been performed on the show by Season 6's Leslie Hunt, Adam Lambert in Season 8 (although he sang Muse's version), Katie Stevens in Season 9, and Hallie Day last season. He may not have the best voice consistently through every performance, but you can't help but be won over by him. I'd honestly rather listen to him all season than some of the other contestants. Nicki said she loved it, and praised that he "put some attitude and your own spin" on the song. Randy said, "He believes! He thinks he's in it to win it and he is!" He also mentioned that you can see Lazaro's "heart light up" when he hits the sweet spot in his voice. Despite the hideous performances that preceded him, Mariah chose to criticize Lazaro, saying that parts of the song were too low for him, but she is impressed at what he's been able to accomplish with his music. (Condescend much?)

I said it last week, I'll say it again. I do not like Curtis one bit. His talent is inarguable, but his lack of humility (he referred to his performance in the top 20 as "epic") makes him totally unappealing. He sang R. Kelly's I Believe I Can Fly, which Season 5 runner-up Katharine McPhee sang, Aaron Kelly (no relation) sang in Season 9, and Jacob Lusk sang in Season 10 (bad video on this clip). Curtis hit some terrific notes, but if we want to criticize Paul's oversinging, this man should have his picture next to the definition of that word. And I know I'm cynical, but the tears seemed just a little too fake to me. All four judges gave him a standing ovation (Randy and Nicki actually stood up before the performance was over), and each went into paroxysms of praise, talking about how Curtis oozes everything positive, there's so much hope in him, that he's "bigger than American Idol" because he makes people feel like they can fly, and has been called by a higher power, etc. The words "Praise God" were even uttered by Randy. The whole thing made me shudder.

Devin sang Somos Novios (It's Impossible), which has been sung by everyone from Perry Como, Andy Williams, and Elvis, to Andrea Bocelli, Christina Aguilera, Luis Miguel, even Katharine McPhee. He really has a terrific voice and is even stronger when he sings in Spanish, as he did again this week. I also felt his emotional connection, which I thought was lacking in his performance of Listen the last time, was very strong. Keith said the beginning of the song was shaky because Devin seemed nervous, but he's such a "good, good singer, so gifted" that he was able to overcome his nerves. Nicki called it "muy bien y perfecto," and said Devin was stepping into his own, even saying that he "looks like a Spanish Ken doll." Randy said that Devin is one of the few guys whose tone he really likes, along with his vibrato, and he called him, "mad cool and mad young." He also proclaimed, "I like this guy!" Mariah called the performance incredible, and praised his ability to "jump between genres and languages." She also said he had tremendous potential to reach an international audience.

Vincent had the pimp spot this week, and sang Boyz II Men's End of the Road and, frankly, it was pretty disappointing. After the performance he gave last week, this week he tried too hard and hit too many bum notes, although he did hit a few pretty spectacular ones as well. Keith said he felt "nerves got on top of your talent," while Nicki explained, "You wasn't sitting on it right tonight." Randy said he overshot a bit, while Mariah babbled, and what I was able to decipher was that Vincent had "moments of brilliance" but she wasn't sure "whether it's time to nitpick." (It's a more appropriate time to nitpick here than, say, in Lazaro's performance.)

I know the producers are all about gender parity, but the truth is, I'd rather see more girls advance to the top 10 than guys, although that won't happen.

My Top 5:
Devin
Lazaro
Nick
Curtis (don't like him but can't argue)
Burnell (ditto)

What Might Happen:
Devin
Lazaro
Curtis
Burnell
Vincent/Elijah/Nick

Tonight, we're back in Hollywood for a protracted 90-minute reveal of the top 10. Plus, I'm assuming there will be wildcards. And, if we're lucky, a poorly choreographed, lip-synced group number. I hope the day just flies...

AI Recap: (Women) Run the World

So I'll admit I've scoffed inwardly—and outwardly—every time one of the judges or Ryan says something about how this is the "girls' season" and how strong the women are versus the guys. But while the show wouldn't know subtlety if it joined the judges panel, after last night's performances, they may actually be right, without manipulation. And while there were arguably seven or eight (depending on your preferences) contestants who did well last night, it will be interesting to see who makes it into the top 10, and who has to rely on the (you know they're coming) wild cards.

Was it part of Mariah's contract that all signs shown from the audience were about her? I counted at least four, including "Mariah is the #1 Idol." Take that, Nicki.

First out of the gate, sporting a brown-auburn wig this week (girlfriend changes her hair more than Nicki Minaj), was last week's "Queen of the Jungle," Zoanette. While she looked almost normal during her pre-taped intro, on stage she was sporting a pair of short shorts that were just wrong. And her rendition of Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do With It (which Lil Rounds sang in Season 8, as did Season 9 semi-finalist Todrick Hall, and Season 10's Naima Adedapo) was nothing short of the train wreck I expected from her last week. She completely made up the lyrics for the first two verses, bounced all over the place, and hit more wonky notes than good ones. To quote Nicki from last week, "Honey child, hell no." Keith called her "theatrical" (gee, you think), and the best he could do was praise her confidence, joy, and exhibitionism. Nicki said she'd always tell Zoanette the truth, and "that wasn't it." She talked about how "regular people" might want her to be on key for the song and might not have liked her performance, although she's still rooting for her. Despite the fact that she's a "spirit leader," Randy called the performance "a mess, babe," and Mariah praised the energy and love that Zoanette gives others, and the fact that she's overcome such struggle (her family left Liberia when she was two—she didn't crawl out on her belly amidst gunfire), and also called her "a bundle of festivities." Oh, yeah, the performance wasn't Mariah's favorite, either.

I love when Ryan has girl talk with the contestants. When he asked Zoanette about her wig and admitted, "I'm no stranger to wefting," it was priceless.

Beautiful and "marketable" Breanna sang Beyonce's Flaws and All, which I'd never heard before. She really has a great ability for choosing songs that show off what her voice can do, but I don't know if this was showy enough to make a lasting impression, given that she sang second and was followed by a lot of bigger performances. But I actually get what the judges said last week about her being a total pop star. Keith praised her song choice, as it shows who she is as a singer, but he wished she could "find a song that takes you into your own place." Nicki totally disagreed, calling it the wrong song and saying that she thought Breanna was straining. She also said she had a "sneaky suspicion" it wouldn't be enough to move her into the top five. Randy said he agreed with himself, calling her song choice "safe" because (surprise) it "didn't have enough moments," but said it felt like it was the eighth or tenth song she'd sing at her concert, just before the finale. Which is something Mariah totally does, yo, as she admitted she does more well-known songs up front and then gives her audiences more "intimate moments" before the finale. Oh, wait, this was about Breanna. She called the song choice "unique," as well as "lyrically raw, simplistic, and real," and said that Breanna's whole package says star quality. Ryan asked Breanna if she was singing the song to anyone, and she admitted it was for "someone special," which caused her mother in the audience to shake her head and say, "No." Hee.

One marketable contestant was followed by another, as it was beautiful Aubrey's turn next. She promised to "show her personality" in her pre-performance banter with Ryan, so she sang Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry, previously trotted out by Season 9's Katie Stevens. It was good and I really like her, but again, she doesn't wow me like some of the other contestants did, although she's another one I could totally see hitting it big. Keith said that Aubrey's vibrato was so beautiful, but he wished she "could soar more" vocally. Nicki, too, loved the vibrato, as well as her humility, because Aubrey is so beautiful yet doesn't act like she knows that's the case. Randy called her "current and infectious," said that Aubrey gives him a Rihanna vibe in her softer moments. Mariah praised her "multi-platinum potential" and told her she could be a big star in the industry.

Janelle talked about how tough last week was, when she should have been was nearly eliminated, and she learned that "one performance makes a difference." (Not when you're one of the chosen ones, sugar.) She sang Elvis' If I Can Dream, which Elliott Yamin took on in Season 5. She sounded almost Jewel-esque, and while I still don't quite think she's at the level of some of the other contestants (especially Kree), I didn't hate it, although some of the bigger notes were wobbly. Keith praised her "classic country voice blended with modern country runs," whatever that meant. Nicki called Janelle "a little marshmallow I want to eat" (what is this woman smoking during commercial breaks?), said it was the best vocal of the night to that point, and said she wanted some "good old country producers and writers to get a hold of you," because "the sky's the limit." Randy liked her "modern throwback sound," calling her a "modern Patsy Cline," while Mariah had nothing to say about the vocal but praised her "America's Sweetheart type of thing." Never one to shy away from camp, Ryan said, "If you want s'more of little marshmallow Janelle..."

Camp Mariah's own Tenna listened (sort of) to Nicki's advice about her hair but of course, didn't shave it off. She sang Faith Hill's Lost, and like last week, I really liked some of her phrasing and intonation choices, but it wasn't ultimately memorable for me. In a season they weren't cutting it to five girls, I think she could have a chance, but I don't see it here unless the judges help her along a bit. Keith said she did a really good job, but cautioned her not to let the camera pull her emotion, because her performance became "a little cabaret" when the camera was on her. Nicki liked Tenna's hair this week, and her boobs, which caused Randy to sputter and pretend he was shocked, so Nicki retorted, "Shut up, Randy, you goody two shoes." Despite all of that, Nicki worried that Tenna's personality doesn't jump out at the audience. Mariah praised her little protegé's power register, as well as the fullness and richness of her voice. She said, "I love you and I hope America loves you, too." (Mariah was unamused when Ryan quipped, "Both Nicki and Mariah like your fullness, Tenna.")

Our favorite original songstress, Angie, decided to take to the piano this week and sing Never Gone, by last season's Colton Dixon. It was a pretty shrewd song choice, as she was sending a message that she's down with the Christian rock thing, too. I thought she was pretty fantastic—I love her voice and the way she shifts between bombastic and softer moments. If the judges don't overpraise her every week, she's going pretty far. Keith serenaded her with a brief snippet of Angie, and then told her that when she plays the piano she sounds her truest. Nicki said that "trumpets should sound when you walk in the room," and said, "Nigel, Mike Darnell, can I just have her album already? I want an acoustic album." She also said "one vote of the top five has already been taken." (Careful when you assume, Nicki. I'm willing to bet the judges thought Joshua Ledet would win last season.) Randy proclaimed, "America, a star is born," and then said, "This Angie girl is going places." He called her "the right thing in the right way." Never one to let a dead horse go unbeaten, Mariah once again praised Angie's original song from weeks ago, but said she was blown away.

Amber didn't wow me last week, but she certainly did this week. Singing Whitney Houston's I Believe in You and Me, which Jennifer Hudson sang in Season 3's wildcard round, Melinda Doolittle sang in Season 6, and Erika Van Pelt sang last season, she made the song look almost effortless. Her range was terrific, as was her control and power, but if I could change anything, I wish that she had actually held some of the notes, as it almost seemed rushed. All four judges gave her a standing ovation, and Keith called it a perfect song, although he said he wished (wait for it) "I could have heard you hold a few notes, because there were a lot of runs." (I swear I wrote my comments down before Keith said them.) Nicki called it a "10 billion quatrillion madillion" and said her vocals have surpassed anyone else's in the competition. Randy said, "I do believe, y'all, Amber is in it to win it! That girl believes!" Mariah said she had been waiting for Amber to sing all night, and said that she didn't "take on" Whitney Houston (a word choice used by Ryan and Nicki), but "paid homage" to her, and "sang your behind off." Ryan called her performance "one of those great moments we like to see." (Wait, who asked him?)

Have I mentioned how much I love Kree? She sang Faith Hill's Stronger, and was absolutely amazing. She reminds me of a less unorthodox Crystal Bowersox, in her effortless, natural talent, although Kree has a huge vocal range. Keith gave her a standing ovation and said he loves to hear her sing. He proved his musical mettle by praising Kree's ability that she hit an F-sharp above high C when singing a song that's in the key of B (hey, just be impressed I was able to record that), and told Kree that she fits in with country vocalists Patsy Cline, Martina McBride, Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, and Trisha Yearwood. Nicki said, "You already know you're my wife," and told her "your sexiness went up another level." Kree showed her playful side by saying, "I'm just trying to do my wife proud." Randy was befuddled by the talk of betrothal, but called Kree "another one that's in it to win it!" He said he is learning, listening to her sing, and that while he agrees with Keith that her voice belongs with other country greats, she can sing anything. "How can you top that," Mariah asked. She said she loves the "undeniable thing you have." I just hope people love her personality enough not to pass her over for some of the showier contestants, because in the battle of the country singers she slays Janelle hands down.

Our pint-sized Alaskan cutie, Adriana, sang Destiny's Child's Stand Up for Love. I liked it but know she could have done more with the song, although she did power through some big notes. I think she was expecting the judges to react better to her performance. (I was, too, honestly.) Keith said it took her too long to show off her vocal power. Nicki said that after Angie, Amber, and Kree, she should "work a little bit and come back next year." (Can she at this point? I don't think so.) She said that Adriana didn't connect at the beginning of the song, and called the performance "pageanty." (I guess "pageanty" is the female "theatrical.") Randy also called it safe and pageanty, and said, "You needed to slay it and you didn't." Mariah was literally unintelligible in her quest not to parrot Nicki's comments. She called the song, "a traditional song you would hear at a big event — and this is a big event — but I wish you had chosen something less overproduced." (Meaning, "It was pageanty.")

Candice closed the show, and in addition to her amazing vocals, I just love the confidence she brings to her performances. She absolutely slayed John Legend's Ordinary People, and Keith, Randy, and Mariah gave her a standing ovation. The judges were in a hurry, so Keith could only call her performance, "superb, so now, so current," while Nicki simply saluted her. "That's my comment," she proclaimed. Randy called the performance "ridiculous," because "you sang notes no one understands," and told her she has one of the best voices in the entire competition. Mariah thanked Candice for sharing her gift with us. I just hope that her confidence doesn't translate to, or turn into, cockiness.

All in all, it was an impressive show. Four of the five slots seem like locks to me, while the fifth can go to several contestants. I just hope that the whole Zoanette farce ends Thursday night, although I have a feeling that unless someone stronger gets left out, the judges will give her a wild card.

My Top Five:
Kree
Candice
Amber
Angie
Janelle

What Could Happen:
Candice
Amber
Angie
Kree
Aubrey or Janelle or Breanna

Let's hope the guys surprise tonight, too. Let's just say my expectations range somewhere between "unlikely" and "why do I have to watch this?"