Book Review: "All Friends Are Necessary" by Tomas Moniz

“But now, I understood that finding your family and your friends often happens despite anything you choose to do. You have no real control. And maybe that’s for the best. You can prepare and devise and court and romance all you want, and sometimes that works. But trauma can lead to family. Accidents can create friendships.”

This gorgeously written, character-driven book is about the family we choose and the family we’re born into. It’s about resilience and recovery and finding your own way. And it’s a beautiful tribute to the power of belonging, of love, of being seen.

Efren (aka Chino) is a biology teacher in Seattle, preparing for his wife to have a baby. But when tragedy strikes, he moves back to the Bay Area, where he ekes out a simple existence, working temp jobs, hanging with his college best friends, and longing for connection and companionship.

Chino needs to find his way out of his grieving, anger, and guilt. He moves about 90 minutes away from the Bay Area, still trying to find himself, and he dates both men and women in an effort to find the person who feels most right. And while he finds a home and dreams of an opportunity, he eventually heads back to the Bay to be with his friends.

The book spans between 2018 and 2023, watching the group of friends deal with changes in their lives, their relationships, even the pandemic. And in the end, they realize that life is real, it is hard, and it is uncertain, but it’s worth all of it.

“Perhaps Genevieve is right. All your pain and all your joy. All the ridiculous memories and regrets and mistakes: Why would you want to leave all those memories of family and friends and broken hearts and birth and death behind?”