Book Review: "The Lookback Window" by Kyle Dillon Hertz

“The longer time passes, the less evidence exists. The more my memories warp. I knew all this was true. I knew the effects of what happened to me grew with time, but my recollection faded.”

Dylan was 15 years old when he met Vincent on the internet. Vincent wasn’t significantly older than Dylan but he seemed more worldly, and Dylan felt so wonderful being wanted by someone. But for three years, Vincent held Dylan captive as a victim of sex trafficking, keeping him drugged, taking pictures of him that he distributed, and letting others have sex with him.

Now, he is an adult, still dealing with all that happened to him, but he’s trying to move on. He’s engaged, and he hopes to have a good life with his fiancé, Moans, although he isn’t sure he’s capable of truly being happy.

And then a new law is passed. The Child Victims Act extends the statute of limitations for child victims of sexual assault, which used to be only five years after the child turned 18. The Act provided Dylan with a “lookback window,” a one-year period in which Dylan can decide whether to bring a civil suit against his abusers. But what does he want? Money won’t help erase what happened, and can there even be an adequate figure?

Considering what to do reawakens a great deal of anxiety and trauma in Dylan, which he tries to assuage with drugs and sex. But again, he endures, only to realize he owes it to himself and others like him to face his accusers.

This was tremendously powerful and moving. As a victim of sexual assault, I was hesitant to read this, but I’m so glad I did. It is a difficult but important book which brings male sexual assault victims to light. While at times this is bleak, it also is a beacon of hope.