Book Review: "Hi Honey, I'm Homo! Sitcoms, Specials, and the Queering of American Culture" by Matt Baume

While I watch very little television now, I was a television addict from the 1970s into the early 2000s. I still remember some episodes from my favorite sitcoms, and definitely had nights when we watched certain programs. (My Saturday nights growing up were ruled by The Love Boat and Fantasy Island.)

Although I didn’t fully come to terms with being gay until my late teens/early 20s, I definitely knew I was different earlier. (Case in point: constantly rewinding the swimming competitions in Battle of the Network Stars, which featured television actors in speedos.) But the way gay characters were portrayed on television (even when they weren’t explicitly labeled “gay”) fell into every bad stereotype there was. How could I be gay if I wasn’t like that?

Whether you’re a television savant like I am, a fan of reading about television and its impact on society, or just curious about how the portrayal of queer characters has changed over time, Matt Baume’s book is a fascinating and well-researched read. It looks at programs from All in the Family, Soap, The Golden Girls, and Ellen,” to Friends, Will & Grace, and Modern Family. It also briefly touches on celebrities like Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly, and Rip Taylor, their campiness and double entendres, which I absolutely did not understand back then.

Baume juxtaposes the changing tide of television relative to the portrayal of gay characters with the prevailing attitudes of society, as well as the movements toward and against equal rights. I learned some new things and some things definitely jogged my memory.

I don’t read a lot of nonfiction but this was a great read for Pride. Plus, I only caught one error, because I’m a savant!!

Book Review: "Libertie" by Kaitlyn Greenidge

Thought-provoking and emotional, Kaitlyn Greenidge's Libertie is a reflection on what freedom really means and how relationships of all kinds are sometimes the things keeping you from being free.

“How is it possible to become free when you do not even know who you are?”

Libertie is a girl growing up in post-Civil War Brooklyn. Her fearless mother is a doctor, and Libertie marvels at the things she can do. And her mother has a plan—Libertie will become a doctor, too, and they can have a practice together.

While her mother is light-skinned enough to pass, Libertie is constantly reminded her skin is too dark. As she grows, she starts to chafe under her mother’s rules and plans, and wonders if her only course of freedom is doing what someone else wants her to do.

When she meets one of her mother’s protégés, she is utterly charmed by him. He promises her a life as his equal back at his home in Haiti, so she abandons everything to follow him. It’s not long, of course, before she learns that the promise of freedom he sold her is an illusion, and that the role of a Haitian wife is actually subservient. As Libertie considers her future, she must make a decision which could truly determine the course of her life.

Greenidge is an exceptional writer. I was so blown away by the characters she created, how evocative the different settings were where the book took place, and the realizations Libertie made along her journey.

One thing, however: I would’ve loved an epilogue for this book, because I thought the ending happened abruptly. I’d love to know what happened after the decision Libertie made.

I was honored to be part of the tour for Libertie. Algonquin Books provided me with a complimentary advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!

Book Review: "Can't Take That Away" by Steven Salvatore

Can't Take That Away, Steven Salvatore's debut novel, is an absolutely fantastic book about the courage to be yourself and be proud of yourself that left me in a complete emotional puddle.

Carey is a genderqueer teenager who is finally starting to feel comfortable in their own skin. Coming out to friends and family was difficult (because they were essentially blackmailed into doing so) but apart from some homophobic bullying from a fellow student and a teacher, they’re trying to find the joy in life. They have a fiercely loyal best friend, a tremendously supportive mother, and an understanding English teacher, all of whom have Carey's back.

What Carey wants more than anything is to be a diva, like their idol (and namesake), Mariah Carey. They dream of bringing the house down with their voice. They have the talent to do it but they don’t like to call attention to themselves. But after they meet Cris, their burgeoning relationship gives Carey the confidence they need to audition for the school musical and play the part of Elphaba in Wicked.

But some in the school don’t think Carey should play that part and they’ll stop at nothing to create trouble. Carey, with the support of their best friends and family, must decide if they’re willing to let their dream be killed or if they are ready to stand up and make change happen. At the same time they have to struggle with doubts about their relationship with Cris and deal with the rapid decline of their grandmother, who was Carey's biggest fan and musical inspiration.

Can't Take That Away works on so many levels. It's funny, thought-provoking, moving, and so emotional. Salvatore brings such life and complexity to the characters, and Carey's grandmother reminded me so much of my own paternal grandmother, who was my biggest supporter. (I still miss her even though she's been gone almost 16 years.) Another touch that was so incredible is that each chapter of the book is headed by the pronouns Carey identifies with on that particular day.

God, I loved this so much!! Storygram Tours and Bloomsbury YA provided me a complimentary advance copy of Can't Take That Away in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!

Book Review: "Cartier's Hope" by M.J. Rose

I love it when a book surprises you, not just with how compelling the story is but also with how layered the plot is, that it's so much more than you expected. That was definitely the case with M.J. Rose's newest book, Cartier's Hope.

New York, 1910. Vera Garland is the headstrong daughter of the owner of one of leading department stores. Much to her mother's chagrin, she has chosen to pursue a career as a journalist, a field that has not historically been amenable to women, paying them much less than their male counterparts, taking prime story assignments away from them, and relegating them to the traditional "soft" subjects like fashion and gossip.

But Vera has taken a different track, working under a pseudonym and wearing a disguise, and her undercover work on controversial topics such as abortion have received admiration from other female reporters, who could never imagine that the courageous reporter is actually Vera.

With New York City abuzz due to the arrival of the Hope Diamond at Cartier's jewelry store, society elite are mesmerized by the stone and the legends of bad luck that surround those who have possessed (and even touched) it. Still reeling from the death of her father, who always championed her bravado and willingness to fight for what she believed in, Vera discovers deep secrets and a blackmail scheme which appears to have led to her father's death. Devastated and angry, she vows revenge.

Determined to make the blackmailer, a ruthless magazine publisher known for blackmailing businessmen into buying advertising to guarantee his silence, pay for his sins, Vera decides to use the legends of the Hope Diamond's curse to her advantage. She creates a scheme which she hopes will "uncover" a scandal that the publisher can use to blackmail the famed jeweler, Cartier—and then the scheme can be turned on its head to expose the blackmailer.

It's a complicated and dangerous plan which requires keeping secrets from many she cares about. In order to succeed, she turns to a charismatic Russian jeweler for help. Yet as she does her research and pulls her facts together, she finds herself drawn to this man who has secrets of his own. For so long she's guarded her heart from love and the need for a man in her life; how ironic that her feelings are changing because of a man from whom she has to hide the truth about her plans and her identity?

Cartier's Hope is an utterly fascinating novel of historical fiction with a little bit of mystery thrown in for good measure. It's a fascinating look at a time just before the world changed dramatically, with World War I and women getting the right to vote both on the horizon. I also loved the look into New York society during that era and the role of women in journalism.

I've often said that I'm not a big fan of historical fiction, yet every time I've read a book in this genre lately, I've loved it. I loved the complexity of Cartier's Hope, the family dynamics, the secrets, the issues that would have been so controversial during that time. But more than that, I just loved the way M.J. Rose writes, and how she immediately pulled me into this story and didn't let go until the book's conclusion. Vera is a fascinating character I wouldn't mind seeing again.

I'm honored to have been part of the blog tour for Cartier's Hope. Atria Books and Get Red PR provided me an advance complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!

Book Review: "The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy" by Mackenzi Lee

It was so good to get back into this series! I loved The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue (see my review), Mackenzi Lee's first book in this series, and I hadn't realized how much I missed these characters until I began her new book. Once again, I am so taken by the originality of her ideas, and the way she makes books set in the 18th century feel so modern.

"It would be so much easier if I did not want to know everything so badly. If I did not want so badly to be reliant upon no soul but myself."

For most of her life, Felicity Montague has dreamed of nothing more than a career in medicine, as a doctor or surgeon. Rather than fuss over parties or fashion or social standing, she is most comfortable with her medical texts and science books, where she can learn new things instead of being forced to make small talk. Yet this path is closed off to her as a woman—her family barely cares about her if she's not willing to be married off, and no hospital or medical school will give her an audience, let alone an opportunity to study.

After spending time in Edinburgh, where she hoped to enroll in the city's newly minted medical school, she discovers she is no closer to achieving her ambitions than before. And worse, she must dampen the affections of a kind baker with whom she has worked, as he wants to marry her and essentially "save" her from worrying about her ambitions.

"There are far worse things for a woman to be than a kind man's wife. It would be so much easier than being a single-minded woman with a chalk drawing on the floor of her boardinghouse bedroom mapping out every vein and nerve and artery and organ she reads about, adding notations about the size and properties of each."

With nowhere to turn, Felicity learns that a doctor she idolizes is marrying her childhood friend (from whom she has been estranged since a nasty argument a few years before) in Germany, and there is a chance that this somewhat-unorthodox doctor might have a place for her on his team. She agrees to travel to Stuttgart with a mysterious young woman named Sim, who promises to fund Felicity's travel to the wedding if she can pose as her maid. Despite the fact that Felicity isn't quite sure of Sim's motives, she readies herself to be reunited with her old friend, and hopes her life will change when she meets Dr. Platt.

But when Sim's true reasons for wanting to accompany Felicity are revealed, it upends her plans to get a job, threatens her still-shaky relationship with Johanna, and more importantly, endangers her life, as she becomes mired in a plot to recover scientific artifacts which have effects both sentimental and possibly life-changing. Her involvement pulls her from Germany to Switzerland to Algiers and Gibraltar, and what she sees and experiences toughens her resolve, leads her to some important self-discovery, and opens her eyes to some things she never imagined existed.

"You deserve to be here. You deserve to exist. You deserve to take up space in this world of men."

The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy is truly a literary jaunt. It's a novel full of adventure, suspense, and some danger, but at the same time, it's a powerful commentary on equality, feminism, gender roles, sexuality, self-belief, and friendship. Yet to have a book explore modern issues against an historic backdrop never seems incongruous, and while at times it feels strange that many of the characters are teenagers given their maturity, I'm reminded of how younger people were considered adults much earlier in those times.

Lee is a fantastic, creative storyteller, and she pays attention to every last detail. I don't know if I loved these characters quite as much as I did Monty and Percy from the first book, mainly because these characters seemed a little less open and accessible emotionally, but I was hooked from start to finish. This is one of those books that is easy to love and not easy to forget.

I hope there's another book in this series coming along sometime soon!!

Movie Review: "Hidden Figures"

When I went to see Hidden Figures I joked on social media, "Let it be said I am seeing a movie about math." While obviously this movie is about so much more than that, it is truly fantastic to see a movie which focuses on the superior intellect of women, particularly minority women, at a time when contributions from both groups in "serious" fields was hardly valued.

As the space race between Russia and the U.S. heated up, with the Soviets in the lead, NASA was under significant pressure to put a man in space. In addition to the large number of mathematicians, engineers, and scientists they had on staff, NASA relied on "human computers," African-American female mathematicians who were used to perform calculations and analysis—but not be seen or heard unless spoken to. Informally supervised by Dorothy Vaughan (Octavia Spencer), these women were smarter and faster, but rarely even thought of beyond their abilities to get work done.

One of the smartest of these "computers" was Katherine Johnson (Taraji P. Henson). She is assigned to work with the men calculating how to get a man into space before the Russians did so, and she quickly proves her worth, despite the resentment and prejudices of those around her. But despite the fact that she is asked to calculate figures without access to classified information that would help, as well as the subpar treatment shown to all African-Americans at this time in history, Katherine quickly catches the eye of the NASA Director (Kevin Costner), who begins to rely on Katherine more and more, despite some things he just doesn't understand about her.

Meanwhile, Mary Jackson (Janelle Monáe), is encouraged to apply for one of the engineering positions that has opened up at NASA. She's perfectly qualified (perhaps more so than others), but in an effort to keep African-American women from advancement, the job requirements were changed to include coursework that is only available at segregated schools. She wants to challenge the system, but is discouraged by some (including her husband) from making too much of a fuss.

At the same time, Dorothy is becoming increasingly frustrated by NASA's refusal to formally give her the supervisor position (and pay) for which she has essentially been doing the work for some time, but she sees opportunity in another challenge: mastery of the new mainframe computer that NASA has brought in, which has the potential of replacing all of the "human computers."

As NASA begins preparing for John Glenn's launch into space, Katherine's work becomes ever more crucial, yet she is challenged by the obstacles that keep being put in her path. She wants to attend the meetings where the up-to-the minute data is discussed, and she wants to be viewed as an actual member of the team, not just the typist who is actually doing all of the work. Will her calculations prove correct, and will Glenn make it to space and back safely?

Hidden Figures succeeds on so many levels. It brings to the public eye the achievements of some truly unsung heroes whose work made a huge difference in our world, as schools don't teach about Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson, and Dorothy Vaughan when they're talking about the space program, they talk about the astronauts. The film also conveys some strong messages, yet never seems heavy-handed. It also succeeds in creating tension even though you know most of what will happen, but you get so invested in the characters and the story you can't stop yourself from getting nervous.

This film may be a crowd-pleaser, but it's also a tremendously well-acted one. Henson plays a role very different to many of those she's played recently, and walks a line between the deference her character was supposed to show and her frustration that her intelligence wasn't valued the way it should. I really don't understand why she hasn't been more of a factor in the Oscar conversation, since she really has some great moments.

This is the second memorable performance that Monáe has turned in this year (after Moonlight), and this absolutely should land her among the nominees for Best Supporting Actress this year, as her Mary Jackson is fiery, funny, and unabashedly proud of her intellect. Her biggest competition is Spencer, who is always good, but I didn't think her performance rose to the level of Monáe's (mainly because her role wasn't as exciting). Where the Oscars are concerned, however, sometimes the familiar gets in over the more-deserving. (Ironically, when watching the previews before this movie started, Spencer is in five of the movies we saw previews for.)

I really enjoyed this movie, and absolutely expect it to get a Best Picture nomination in a few weeks. It's rare that a movie with female leads does as well at the box office—this weekend marked the film's second consecutive week at #1—and it's even rarer to see a film succeed which features women's intellectual prowess as such a significant factor. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come!

Movie Review: "Selma"

Around the holidays, there is always at least one or two movies released which are either chronicles of an event or a time in history, or biographies of a notable historical figure or celebrity. And this year is no exception—the last month or so has seen the release of The Theory of Everything (about Stephen and Jane Hawking), The Imitation Game (about Alan Turing), and Ava DuVernay's fantastic Selma.

But while some commercials for Selma promote it as the story of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., in actuality, the movie takes place over a short period of time in 1965. President Lyndon Johnson (Tom Wilkinson) has recently signed the Civil Rights Act into law, but many southern states in particular seem to be virtually ignoring it. In Alabama, for example, while African-Americans technically have the right to vote, white court clerks humiliate them and subject them to unfair harassment and testing that disqualifies them every time.

It's come to the point where King (David Oyelowo) and his colleagues in the Southern Christian Leadership Conference have had enough. King asks Johnson for his help in ensuring that blacks have the right to vote by passing a Voting Rights Act, but Johnson isn't ready to do so—despite winning re-election in a landslide he feels an obligation to the leaders in many southern states who helped him win, and who don't support Johnson's movement toward equality. Johnson asks for time; King no longer has the patience to wait, especially as more violence is being perpetrated on blacks who simply want the rights they are entitled to.

Everything comes to a head in Selma, Alabama, as King and his colleagues plan a non-violent march from Selma to the state capital in Montgomery, where they hope to meet with Governor George Wallace (Tim Roth), despite his outspoken prejudice. The first attempt to march is met with violence on the part of local and state police (all white, of course) and racist citizens, and this violence is broadcast nationwide by the media, so many people from all walks of life are motivated to come to Selma and join the march. King must decide whether to lead his supporters back into an environment which could be fraught with serious danger, while Johnson must decide whether to let events transpire as they are without his involvement, or if he should go against Wallace's wishes.

While I knew what the outcome of the march on Selma was, I didn't honestly know much more than that, so I found this movie suspenseful as well as mind-blowingly good. Some have pointed out some of the film's historical inaccuracies (for example, ignoring the role that the Rev. Ralph Abernathy played), but I don't feel this lessened the film's power in any way. This is a movie that is all too appropriate given recent events in Ferguson and New York, as well as the fight for marriage equality across the country, and it's frightening how prescient some of the dialogue is, much as it was in Steven Spielberg's Lincoln a few years back.

David Oyelowo, who impressed me last year with his role as Forest Whitaker's equality-crusading son in Lee Daniels' The Butler, absolutely took my breath away with his performance in this movie. He looks like King, has King's cadence, and his replicating some of King's most famous speeches and sermons gave me the chills. But alongside the big moments, Oyelowo shines in so many smaller moments in the movie as well. Selma doesn't paint King as flawless—it shows that this spiritual leader had his own struggles—and that is what makes Oyelowo's performance even richer. I knew just a few minutes into the movie, after his first speech, that this would be a career-making performance, and it is utterly Oscar-worthy.

Wilkinson does a terrific job with his portrayal of Johnson, as he straddles the line between what he knows he needs to do to ensure his legacy versus what he wants to do for political expediency, and he also depicts the struggle of a man in the midst of, as he puts it, "101 problems" coming at the same time. The supporting performances—including Roth, Carmen Ejogo as Coretta Scott King (she is a dead ringer for the woman she portrays), Stephan James as John Lewis (now a U.S. Congressman), Wendell Pierce as Rev. Hosea Williams, Colman Domingo as Abernathy, and Lorraine Toussaint as Amelia Boynton—more than hold their own against Oyelowo and Wilkinson. In my opinion, only Oprah Winfrey, in a small role, seemed out of place and felt more like acting than embodying a character.

Even if you know little to nothing about the civil rights movement, Selma is a movie to watch and to savor. Ava DuVernay films some scenes with the tension of an action movie, and not a moment feels forced or wrong-footed. You watch events unfold as the characters do and are moved by them. Definitely one of the best 2014 films I've seen.

Another example of how our future is in good hands...

This is Duncan McAlpine Sennett. Last month Duncan celebrated his Bar Mitzvah at Portland's Congregation Beth Israel.

During his Bar Mitzvah speech, he explained the Torah portion he was reading from, and used it to draw a parallel to an issue he feels pretty strongly about—nationwide marriage equality.

Duncan said:

"In my Torah portion, Jacob works for seven years to earn the right to marry Laban's daughter, his love Rachel. Before marrying Rachel, Jacob is first tricked into marrying her older sister Leah. I find my parsha [Torah portion] interesting because it is a window into what was life was like back in the days of the Torah.

"Back then, this seemed to have a perfect definition of what traditional marriage meant for their time, when as time passes we have a completely different definition today. So the question is: how has the definition of traditional marriage changed since the days of the Torah? Just looking at my Torah portion as a proof text, I think it has changed a lot.

"Leah and Rachel had absolutely no say in marrying Jacob — it was like a business deal between Jacob and Laban. Today in the United States, marriage is very different. No longer do the fathers arrange marriages and women can marry whomever they want.

"While studying my Torah portion and comparing and contrasting marriage — past and present — I found it would be irresponsible to exclude the topic of gay marriage. I am a very very strong supporter of equal rights and the freedom of men and women to marry whomever they love.

"People who disagree with me like to quote the Bible and say that traditional marriage should only be between one man and one woman. But after seeing my Torah portion that I've just read, the definition of traditional marriage is nothing like what people think it is today. Jacob married two sisters who were his first cousins."

Duncan mentioned close family friends who are same-sex couples, who taught him about the importance of marriage equality. He then ended his speech by saying:

"My Torah portion taught me that the definition of traditional marriage has changed a lot since the days of Torah. So why can't it change just a little bit more so everybody can marry who they love? And now that I'm a Bar Mitzvah, I will not only continue to support but encourage other people to support equal marriage rights. Shabbat shalom."

Here's Duncan's speech:

I'm so blown away by Duncan's maturity and empathy, and his decision to make his Bar Mitzvah more than just a celebration of religious maturity. Clearly, living in a community like Portland and having the opportunity to get to know same-sex couples has helped broaden his understanding and acceptance, but this is still an impressive action, as he paralleled what he learned for his Bar Mitzvah with his awareness of the world around him. (I think my Bar Mitzvah speech rhymed, but that about sums it up, although it was 30 years ago.)

It's so easy to get cynical and pessimistic with so many people in power trying to hold back the tides of equality and choosing to discriminate, but when you see an example like Duncan's, it helps make you feel a little more hopeful about the next generation.

It's not okay...

I've debated quite a bit whether to write a post about the ridiculous government-sanctioned homophobia occurring in Russia since the enactment of anti-gay propaganda laws that make it a crime to spread "homosexual propaganda" to minors. These laws, which have already led to arrests of Dutch tourists promoting equality, are causing many to urge the United States to boycott the 2014 Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia, and has led gay activists to call for a boycott of Russian-made Stolichnaya vodka.

The U.S. Olympic Committee—and NBC, which has broadcast rights to the 2014 games—have tried to have their cake and eat it, too, saying they'd monitor the situation to ensure the safety of U.S. athletes, particularly LGBT athletes, as well as decide how to report on these human rights violations. But today, Russia upped the ante a bit.

Russian Sports Minister Vitaly Mutko warned today that athletes and visitors will not be given any special exemptions around the anti-gay laws. Mutko's statement comes a day after the U.S. Olympic Committee released a letter recalling the Olympic Charter's prohibition on discrimination of any kind. The letter also promised that the U.S. Olympic Committee would work closely with the IOC and U.S. State Department to ensure the safety of "every American in Sochi." Additionally, Russian politician Vitaly Milonov said that openly gay athletes and supporters at the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympic Games may face arrest under these laws.

The IOC previously secured assurances from "the highest level" of Russian government that LGBT athletes and vistors would be able to attend the Sochi games unmolested, but they've yet to comment on Mutko's statement, which said:

"The law talks not about banning a non-traditional orientation but about other things, about propaganda and implicating minors...

"No one is banning a sportsman with a non-traditional sexual orientation from going to Sochi. But if he goes out onto the street and starts to make propaganda, then of course he will be brought to responsibility.

"As a sportsman, he should respect the law of a country. Come (to Sochi), but don't get young people involved, don't make propaganda. This is what we are talking about."

Competing in the Olympics is a dream for most athletes, and knowing that you'll finally have the chance to represent your country and compete against the world's finest athletes must be one of the most incredible achievements. Some out athletes, including figure skater Johnny Weir and New Zealand speed skater Blake Skjellerup have said a boycott of the games is not the answer.

Skjellerup commented, "I think visibility is the best possible solution, as opposed to hiding away and not attending." He went on to explain, "For me it’s less about taking a stand and more about just being myself...I have no interest in going back into the closet in Sochi...This is not about defiance. This is me standing up for what I believe in." Skjellerup has said that he plans to wear a rainbow pin during the Sochi games which, under Russia's laws, could get him arrested.

It's time for the U.S. to take a stand. We're all too quick to condemn people like Bradley Manning or Edward Snowden as treasonous traitors, yet is our country willing to turn a blind eye to the potential mistreatment of LGBT athletes and others? Where is the outrage of the U.S. in this instance?

I don't know whether boycotting the Olympic games will actually accomplish anything. I do know that we, as well as the IOC, need to serve as a barrier to discrimination and mistreatment, or the Olympic spirit means nothing. But more importantly, I echo the words of openly gay Danish actor Christian Vincent, who recently recorded a video called, "Dear Russia: It's Not Okay."

It's not okay.

Light it up...

Thought this was inspiring and oh so true. Thanks to George Takei.

Book Review: "Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities" by Chris Kluwe

Although I'm a big fan of pop culture and sports, I don't tend to revere celebrities. While there are certainly people whose work or abilities I enjoy or appreciate more than others, the people I admire most or even view as personal heroes are often those making a difference in our world or impacting people's lives.

Former Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe (now an Oakland Raider) is one of those people. While as a football fan I knew of Kluwe's prowess on the field, I didn't become aware of his activism off the field until the middle of last year, when he wrote a public letter to a Maryland state delegate who had called on the Baltimore Ravens to curb the public pro-marriage equality stance of (now former) linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo. (I wrote about this last fall.) From that point on Kluwe became a vocal opponent of those who sought to ban marriage equality, in Minnesota and elsewhere, and he even filed an amicus curiae (friend of the court) brief in the marriage equality cases argued before the Supreme Court earlier this year. And he did all of this not because he is gay, not because he has gay family members, or because he's getting paid. He did (and does) this because he believes all people should be treated equally.

Beyond his support for marriage equality, Kluwe is a tremendously intelligent, well-read, and articulate person on a variety of subjects. He's a big fan of colorful—even obscene—language (not that there's anything wrong with that), and even if you don't necessarily agree with his arguments, most rational people would have to admire his passion and his ability to communicate his points of view. All of these are on fine display in the entertaining, well-written, and passionate (although slightly schizophrenic) collection of essays, letters, stories, and recollections, Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities.

While many of the (often somewhat brief) chapters in this book focus on marriage equality, gun control, and other issues on which Kluwe is unabashedly liberal (again, not that there's anything wrong with that), still others are riffs on football, Atlas Shrugged, religion (including the Pope's taking to social media), the future, video games, injuries, his ego, and his lifelong love of reading. Some are more emotional, as Kluwe gives advice to his children about the future, and talks about the importance of treating each others the way you want to be treated. And still others border on the phantasmagorical, trippy rants directly from Kluwe's wild mind.

I really enjoyed this book because Kluwe was authentic, unswerving, and passionate. While I found some chapters resonated more with me than others, there's no denying his writing ability, his amazing and creative mind, and his strong beliefs in doing what is write, while making people laugh in the progress. The book is a bit disjointed in that the chapters come, much like football hits, one after the other, on one topic and then a totally different one. Is it a literary master work? No. But I admire not only what Kluwe had to say, but how he said it.

"The truth will help you win only if people are willing to educate themselves as to why truth is important, and, make no mistake, truth is very important." Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities is a great reflection on the truth and the world according to Chris Kluwe, and in my mind, we need more people like him to tell the truth and share their passion.

Love wins the day...

I woke up this morning feeling immensely apprehensive about what the Supreme Court would do relative to the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and California's Proposition 8, especially following the Court's decision to overturn portions of the Voting Rights Act yesterday.

Would the Court take the bold steps necessary to begin laying the foundation for marriage equality across our country? Would they allow same-sex couples married in states that have upheld marriage equality to receive the same benefits as heterosexual couples? Or would the Court decide to uphold the idea that some people are more deserving of equality than others, or that voters should decide who is worthy?

The Supreme Court decided 5-4 that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional. Basically, the Court explained that the states have long had the responsibility of regulating and defining marriage, and some states have opted to allow same-sex couples to marry to give them the protection and dignity associated with marriage. By denying recognition to same-sex couples who are legally married, federal law discriminates against them to express disapproval of state-sanctioned same-sex marriage. This decision means that same-sex couples who are legally married must now be treated the same under federal law as married opposite-sex couples.

The Court also struck down California's Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriage in the state, on a technicality, by saying that those Proposition 8 supporters who brought the case to the Supreme Court lacked the legal standing to do so. While this wasn't the sweeping ruling that some had hoped, a ruling that would have paved the way for marriage equality in those states without it, it does move us in a forward direction. Plus, same-sex couples can begin marrying in California within a month, so anything that allows for more love to be legally recognized is more than satisfactory!

From the moment I heard the Court's decision on DOMA, I've been just on the verge of emotional. Much as President Obama's public support of same-sex marriage and the growing number of states and foreign countries that have approved marriage equality recently, I never believed I'd see these giant steps taken in my lifetime.

To quote one of Virginia's Senators, Mark Warner:

Huge victories today, but more work to be done to ensure #MarriageEquality for all Americans.

So once again, love wins. And I believe, ultimately, it will keep winning. Love is love is love, no matter who does it.

All the things that I am not...

As the mantle of marriage equality—and equality in general—continues to get embraced by a wider and wider circle, those on what will eventually be the losing side of the argument—and history, for that matter—continue their vocal tirades, throwing accusations of an increasingly wilder nature at LGBT people and those who support equality. While I'd like to believe that most rational, reasonably intelligent people can separate the truth from baseless hyperbole, I thought it might be helpful to let people know some basic facts.

1. I am not looking to "recruit," "convert," or "turn" people gay. While I believe every person has the right to live their life the way they so choose, I would never knowingly encourage people to "choose" a lifestyle in which they're treated with derision, persecution, inequality, and threats of violence.


2. A person's desire to spend the rest of their life with the person they love should not affect anyone else's relationship or marriage. If in some bizarre way my relationship affects yours, your relationship was not stable.


3. Allowing people of the same sex to marry each other will not open the floodgates to people marrying their children or other family members, their pets or other animals, or inanimate objects.


4. While I go to the gym six days a week, I don't ogle the others in the locker room. And I'm not interested in hitting on any of them, or any random person with whom I come into contact in any random public place. And you know what, Family Research Council? Letting gay kids into the Boy Scouts will not mean they will hit on other scouts either.


5. Demanding equal rights in all aspects of my life doesn't mean that I'm "persecuting" those who steadfastly cling to inequality. Contrary to what Newt Gingrich believes, religious rights are not being "outlawed" by equal rights.


6. Contrary to what Pat Robertson believes, I do not deserve to be equated with rapists and murderers because of my sexual orientation. And while people may hide who they really are, or choose to live a life in denial, you cannot "change" your sexual orientation.


7. Gay people are not "unclean" or an "abomination."


8. No matter what they believe in African countries like Uganda and Zambia (where a gay couple's parents turned them into the government just recently)—or how they act in nearly every state in the U.S. and many countries—gay people aren't deserving of death or violence against them. Oh, wait. No one is.

Thanks for listening. And if you're confused, try reading this again.

Quiet athletes rarely change the world...

To the surprise of no one, Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe—an outspoken advocate for marriage equality—was cut by his team earlier today after eight and a half seasons. This was especially unsurprising to Kluwe himself, who predicted this after the Vikings drafted UCLA punter Jeff Locke in the fifth round of the NFL draft last week.

The fact is Kluwe is 31 years old, and has played fairly inconsistently of late, but there's little doubt that his vocal activism helped make it a little easier for the team to decide it was time to part ways with him, especially in a state that has struggled with a decision regarding marriage equality. (The state legislature is still debating the issue after voters rejected a bill last November that would have amended the state's constitution to dictate that marriage should be between one man and one woman.)

Chip Scoggins, a sports reporter for the Minneapolis Star Tribune, said: "Regardless of whether they admit it, the Vikings are jettisoning Kluwe partly because they grew tired of his outspokenness. It’s naive to think the move is based solely on his age (31), salary ($1.45 million) or how he performed last season (inconsistently). Kluwe has become the most visible punter in NFL history because of his social activism. The Vikings deny that Kluwe’s public stance on issues factored into their decision — not that they would ever admit it — but they likely prefer someone who embraces the anonymous life of an NFL punter.

"Kluwe has developed a wide audience and become a polarizing figure as a staunch advocate for same-sex marriage. Whether it’s gay rights, player safety or Ray Guy’s omission from the Pro Football Hall of Fame, Kluwe isn’t afraid to voice his opinion. And he refuses to apologize for that, even if it contributes to his exit.

"'This is me,' he said. 'I pay attention to what goes on in the world, and I like to speak up when I see something.'

"Kluwe’s expected release could result in some backlash by fans who applaud his support of same-sex marriage. A handful of teams need punters, so he could find a job elsewhere. Kluwe also understands that teams might pass on him because they view him as a distraction. He believes he has four or five good seasons left as a punter, but he refuses to muffle his activism just to get a job.

"'I think the sacrifice would be worth it,' he said. 'Now, I would hope that I would get the chance to play football again, because I think I can still play. But if it ends up being something that costs me that position, I think making people aware of an issue that is causing children to commit suicide is more important than kicking a leather ball.'"

Kluwe's release follows that of Baltimore Ravens linebacker and LGBT ally Brendon Ayanbadejo, who was released by his team last month. Again, Ayanbadejo is 36 years old, so his release cannot be attributed to his activism alone. (In fact, Ayanbadejo initially squelched stories that blamed his advocacy for marriage equality for his release, although he has since said it certainly could have played a role in the final decision.) And, as I reported last month, former New Orleans Saints linebacker Scott Fujita—another advocate for marriage equality—retired from the game at age 33.

Hats off to Chris Kluwe, Brendon Ayanbadejo, Scott Fujita, and all those unwilling to let equality be trodden upon simply for the sake of keeping their jobs. We are fortunate to have advocates like these, and so many others, in our corner, and I hope their courage won't be in vain for long.

Living your life isn't flaunting it...

Since NBA player Jason Collins announced he is gay earlier this week, response within and outside the world of sports has been largely positive and affirming, with the NBA, the Washington Wizards (the last team Collins played for), and numerous athletes expressing their support for Collins, as well encouraging tweets and phone calls from the President and First Lady, and many celebrities.

As expected, however, there have been those less than enthused or impressed by Collins' announcement as well. Sure, there have been the typical "God hates fags" comments, plus the Westboro Baptist Church has done its usual saber-rattling. Collins received some death threats via Twitter, and a few sportscasters, including ESPN's Chris Broussard (who leaned on the Bible and said Collins was living "in open rebellion to God") and CBS announcer Tim Brando first called Collins' sexuality a lifestyle choice and then said Collins shouldn't be called a hero despite being the first athlete in a major sport to publicly announce his homosexuality. (He tried to couch this by saying heroes were people like first responders, but previous Tweets have shown Brando has referred to Hootie and the Blowfish and golfer David Toms as heroes, just for doing good or playing well.)

Obviously, everyone is entitled to their opinions. But ignorance is no excuse for prejudice, as is the case with Atlanta Falcons cornerback Asante Samuel.

Samuel told FOX Sports Radio that he doesn't understand why gays have to flaunt their sexuality when asked about NBA center Jason Collins. He said, "Straight people are not announcing they're straight, so why does everybody have to announce their sexuality or whatever? You know, what they prefer...So that's just how I see it. That's my opinion on things. All respect you know, I have nothing but respect for the people whoever decisions they make and whatever, but you know, you don't have to show it and flaunt it like that. You know what I'm saying, we have kids out here, too."

Really? Straight people don't flaunt the fact that they're straight, but finally taking the chance to be a role model and live your life openly is flaunting it, because Asante Samuel doesn't agree?

Has Samuel ever been to a shopping mall, theme park, airport, sporting event, or any public place and seen a straight couple kiss and hug? As long as the public displays of affection don't get out of hand, no one seems to care—in fact, people even smile. But what some people don't realize is that gay couples have been asked to leave malls, theme parks, restaurants, and other places, simply for hugging or kissing their companion, because these are apparently "family establishments" where it's perfectly fine for a straight couple to do the same thing. Gay couples have even been cautioned on airplanes because people complain.

Samuel tried to explain his feelings on ESPN.



Whenever I see things like this I am reminded of a line from Wicked: "Some people are so empty-headed they'd believe anything." Yep, sounds about right.

And a little child shall lead them...

A 4th grade teacher posted the above essay to Reddit, saying, "One of my 4th grade students chose gay marriage as his topic for a persuasive essay. This is the result. More sense than some adults."

Out of the mouths of babes, indeed. And not a bad argument. Maybe this student can share their views with Paul Cameron, a prominent health researcher, who told Senator Rob Portman (R-OH) that he should renounce his support for marriage equality and convince his gay son to marry a woman.

Diff'rent strokes to move the world...

A classy close for a classy guy...

I've written about NFL linebacker Scott Fujita before, and how much I admire him for being one of just a few professional athletes who have been tremendously vocal advocates for marriage equality.

Fujita, age 33, played four seasons with the New Orleans Saints, including their victory in Super Bowl 44. He played his last three seasons with the Cleveland Browns, and also spent time with the Kansas City Chiefs and Dallas Cowboys. Over his 143-game career, he recorded 767 tackles, 23.5 sacks, 11 forced fumbles and seven interceptions.

Earlier today, Fujita signed a one-day contract with the Saints, and then announced his retirement, so he was able to retire as a member of the team he felt closest to. And he couldn't have signed the contract in a more beautiful place—at Machu Picchu in Peru. He traveled there with former Saints teammate Steve Gleason, who is currently fighting Lou Gehrig's Disease.

"What better place to reach the end of the road," Fujita said in a statement, "than here at 10,000 feet above sea level, in the Peruvian Andes overlooking Machu Picchu with my dear friend Steve Gleason?"

A tip of the hat and strong thanks to someone who has always championed equal rights. Here's hoping the next chapter of his career is as fulfilling—and sees him continuing to help fight the battles we still face.

It's not the only thing, but it's one hell of a thing...

As I've said so many times over the last four years, if you had told me that one day in my lifetime the President of the United States would mention the need for equality with regard to sexual orientation, I would have thought you were crazy. To hear these words during President Obama's second inaugural address today made me cry, made me proud, and made me hope.

While there's no guarantee of what the next months will bring, particularly with the Supreme Court, I feel more optimistic than I ever have. And for that I say, thank you, Mr. President.

Same Love...

The first time I heard Same Love, the song by hip-hop duo Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (featuring Mary Lambert), I literally started crying. I was blown away by the song's message, and the way it challenges those who believe sexual orientation is a choice, those who discriminate, those who are afraid, and those who just don't understand.

Here are some of the lyrics that resonate for me:

The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing god, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don’t know
And god loves all his children, is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written 3500 years ago
I don’t know

And then, this challenge to hip-hop:

If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately
"Man, that’s gay" gets dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we’re saying
A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don’t have acceptance for 'em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it

Last month, Susan Johnson, a middle school teacher in Detroit was suspended for three days for playing the song for her class. The school district said Johnson’s suspension was warranted because it broke basic curriculum rules teachers at the school are meant to follow, in that she needed to get prior permission to play something like this. (She probably wouldn't have gotten that permission.)

Students and others, including Macklemore himself, protested Johnson's suspension. But more than that, Johnson's students were moved by what they heard. One student even sent Macklemore an email about the incident:

If you've never heard the song, I encourage you to put your preconceived notions of hip-hop aside and listen to it. Or share it with those who need to hear it. I commend Macklemore and Ryan Lewis for sharing this message.

In the end, love wins...

Thirty-two times. Marriage equality had been put to a vote 32 times before last night, and every time it was defeated. And while legislatures in seven states and the District of Columbia had legalized marriage equality, never before had voters signaled their approval.

But last night was different.

Last night history was made.

Last night voters in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington (it appears) took a stance for equality, approving bills that legalized marriage equality or defeating bills that sought to amend the state constitution to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

Last night, love won. Equality won.

While nothing can take away the bravery of the legislators and judges in Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Iowa, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, and Vermont, it is amazing to feel that for the first time, voters believed strongly enough that my rights mattered enough to take a stance. For the first time, voters in four states have said that every citizen deserves the same rights.

Obviously, this year's election was about so much more than equality, and I'm excited about the outcomes we saw last night. I was moved to tears several times last night, but none more so than when the announcement that the question of marriage equality had been approved in Maryland.

I sit at my desk this morning bleary-eyed and hopeful. There is still so much further to go, and the journey will still be a long and hard one. But this is the inroads we were hoping for.

Hopefully people all over our country, and all over the world, will eventually see that when love wins, we all win.

My gratitude to all those who have worked tirelessly, given time, effort, money, passion, blood, sweat, and tears to this cause. And my gratitude also goes to all who will give these things, because it's still needed.

To quote one of my favorite heroes, Fred Rogers, "It's such a good feeling to know you're alive. It's such a happy feeling, you're growing inside."

Indeed. It's a good feeling.